This post consists of some background to my most recent survey on rape, which is still open to participants (click the button below):
The survey was designed to explore people’s understanding of and beliefs about rape. The content of the survey was drawn from collected data and research, a wide range of reported personal experiences, news stories, and myths and propaganda propagated through various entertainment outlets. If you plan to take the survey – and it would be immensely appreciated if you did – please click through before reading further. My personal views are not important to the survey, and I don’t wish them to colour participant responses.
After years of thinking and examination of the number one influence on and limitation to my existence as a girl first, and later, a woman, I have to conclude that any discussion or consideration of rape must begin with a discussion of language. Indeed, any thinking on hierarchy, power dynamics or control mechanisms (which is where rape finds its roots) must take into account the role of language.
Humans vs. All Other Creatures
In considering the differences between humans and other mammals or any creature for that matter, there are some significant differences that set us apart. And note that this is in no way a comment that humans are superior to animals, as I don’t believe that for a second. Each species has its strengths and weaknesses, which makes hierarchy-development a rather stupid and pointless endeavour. In considering humans, language and the capacity for deep and complex self-awareness set them apart from all other living things on earth. Other creatures may have systems of communication and a limited ability to reflect on simple behaviours, but none rivals human capacity. That is not a judgment, just a fact. Dolphins don’t conjugate verbs and chimpanzees don’t chronically and masochistically self-sabotage or even commit suicide over lack of purpose or meaning in life. Non-humans also don’t develop systems of ethics or morality – even misguided, faulty ones. These are uniquely human ‘achievements’ and are only three of many, many examples of the complexities of human language and self-awareness.
Humans are also the only species capable of malice. Now, note that I am not talking about survival instincts. Men and silly women who defend men often argue that male violence is just a reflection of the instinct to survive and is comparable to the killing that any other species does. This is classic male logic designed specifically to try to justify violent male behaviour. Some of my Chinese male university students will state without blinking that we ‘live in a jungle’. Now, I do believe that males are naturally violent. They are wired for it. But as I’ve written before, as humans, we also have self-awareness, and it is this unique and incredible ability that allows humans to override violent impulses. But, as humans are also uniquely malicious creatures, instinct and deliberate cruelty frequently play off each other. No creature other than the human (male) kills for pleasure. And no creature other than the human (male) tortures other living things. There is no evolutionary or ‘survival’ purpose for killing for pleasure or for torturing. I’ve met a lot of men who try to argue with seriously twisted logic that there is a need for these things. This is when I back away, and wish I had a weapon at the ready in order to do like all other creatures do out of instinct – remove a dangerous threat to one’s survival. But, alas, human females are the only creatures on earth who are NOT allowed to defend themselves.
And this is where language enters the scene.
The Role of Language in Power, Control and Hierarchy
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Language is one of human’s oldest tools. Like all tools, it can be a beautiful mechanism or system used to do wonderful things and inspire the best in all of us. But like all tools, it can also be used to destroy everything in its path. In the hands of men, language is frequently used to express male ‘love’ and ‘creativity’, which as most women eventually come to find out, are dangerous things and not at all what female love and creativity are.
As human males have come to realize, weapons alone will not get you sustainable power. Sure, you can overwhelm a perceived enemy, but it is really difficult to maintain that victory for any period of time without a much more powerful weapon. That weapon is language. Language is, in fact, a much more powerful weapon than any ‘sword’. But they work together. Just as it is hard to sustain control with only swords, it is also difficult to gain and keep power with only words. We’ve all heard that common description of successful evil dynamic duos: ‘You have the brawn and I have the brains’ (cue the Pet Shop Boys here…). Well, that is an apt description of the sword and the pen. Employ the brute force, overwhelm the enemy, enact the mindfuckery of the brutalized population that only language can achieve (e.g., “War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.”), and then all future brutality just becomes an accepted part of the system. Those few who see beyond the language mechanisms and refuse to believe have no leg to stand on, and find themselves very much alone and often questioning their own sanity.
Whoever Controls Language Controls the World
As a tool and building block of control and power, it is safe to say that if you aspire to megalomaniac status, you need to master language. I don’t mean that you should learn to speak several languages. I mean you need to learn how to use language to manipulate people and situations, and to obscure facts. You need to weaponize language. You need to see where language has its greatest influence. My Oppressor Triangle discusses a few major centres of influence, but there are other arenas. Language has had its greatest influence in the areas of politics, law, economics, academia, and the health care system (industry). These areas don’t function separately. There is much overlap. The language enacted in the political sphere can and does affect all other spheres of power, for example.
The question becomes: who controls language? And the answer is: men. Men have always controlled language. And they control it as much today as they have in the past. It’s not a race thing, as much as some people might wish it to be so. It is a MALE thing. If you are a big picture thinker, if you think internationally across time and place – and really, you have to be if you are ever to hope of ending oppression – you have to accept the truth that males control language, and as a result, they control everything. If you get bogged down on other group affiliations, you’ll change nothing. Only the truth can set you (and everyone else) free.
How do we know that males control language, and as a result, the world? It’s pretty easy. You have to take an overarching look at lifestyle and living conditions and determine who overwhelmingly benefits and who overwhelmingly is denied choices and freedoms. Look at any country. It is the same no matter which country you look at and no matter which race is being considered. Who is the poorest group? Females. Look at any field of research: who is studied meticulously and who benefits from the research? Males. Look at entertainment in any country. Who makes the most money, and who is hired based on talent rather than physical attributes? Males. Who is human trafficked most often? Females? Whose social justice complaints actually make progress? Males of all races and orientations. Who receives the poorest health care, and the most needless and harmful surgeries? Females. Who has been hurt most by the field of psychiatry? Females. Whose bodies and decisions about bodies are controlled by the state and institutions like religion and marriage? Females. Who is barred from politics, employment, education, and safety on a regular basis? Females.
And more. So much more.
There are data to back up each of these. Easy to find. Google, government web sites, academic journals. I’m not doing that here. This is not an academic journal article. And it is tedious to state and restate everything that has been said by women a million times before. What I find important here is the theory that it is language and the control of language that facilitates control on every other level.
Language and Rape
Men have been raping, torturing and killing women since they realized they could. It has nothing to do with evolution or survival. Any man who tells you that it does is dangerous and you should get away from him before he hurts you.
Male control of language has had its greatest impact on the one thing that has allowed them to maintain control over women. Rape. Without rape, men don’t have a hold over women. Control the language surrounding rape, and you control the crime itself – or whether it is even considered a crime, or who can commit it, or who is responsible, or who can be raped. We know that women have no power, and certainly have no control over language, because rape is so rampant and that they are on the receiving end with little ability to avoid it or seek justice for it.
It is only relatively recently that rape was even considered a crime, and only extremely recently that rape was considered to be a form of torture. In Western cultures, the rape of a women was considered to be a crime against the man who owned her. And it could only be committed by a male who did not own her. She herself, as a rape victim, was deemed dirtied, rendered an embarrassment, and often tossed out like so much garbage from family and community. Even today, rape victims often end up in prostitution or suffering from mental health problems that leave them unable to self-actualize, let alone take care of themselves properly. The propaganda and brainwashing campaign that all societies provide to women to get them to accept rape as reality, as normal, often succeeds in neutralizing female protest to unlivable conditions. Rape is a crucial part of Western entertainment – drama as well as comedy. Many women will suppress their experiences or deny that rape even happened. Rape victims who don’t follow the rules are often punished by society, and frequently by other women who prefer to lash out at other women than to name the real problem.
In non-Western countries, rape has gone through equally horrible control by men. In some countries, raping girl children isn’t considered rape. Elsewhere, rape cannot occur within a marriage or family. In others, rape has only occurred if a woman can get a handful of male witnesses to support her claim. No, women aren’t in control of language at all. Anywhere in the world. I mean, no woman would ever set up the linguistic, social and legal hoops/barriers to proving rape that are currently in place in every corner of the earth. We aren’t that masochistic or stupid of our own free will.
Men Can Be Raped, Toooooooo!
Likely, in response to women calling more attention to rape and violence against women, men retaliated. Men always retaliate. They are allowed. There are always repercussions to women gaining even an ounce of freedom or power. And language is always at the centre of any retaliation. And there is always violence.
So recently, men decided to change the language surrounding rape. They decided that rape no longer meant ‘male forcibly entering a female through her vagina using his dick’. Suddenly, males could be raped! And further, women could be rapists!
These revelations served a very, very important purpose. You see, if you can show that a crime or negative circumstance ALSO affects men, it is no longer a sex-based inequality. Men no longer are forced to be held responsible. Men are no longer predators. They are no longer deficient in some way. If you can show that they suffer tooooo or that women are doing the same evil deeds tooooo, then men no longer will be examined as the sole source of a major problem or epidemic. Once males can name themselves as victims, all focus can be ‘justifiably’ removed from women and recentred on men and boys. All we need is one male victim to negate the suffering of millions of women. And all we need is one female predator to negate the predation of millions of males. That is the male control of language at work. Change one word or one definition, and you can change the lives of millions. Control is regained.
Predictably, women got on board with the rebranding of rape, as they usually do when males find new ways to name themselves as victims, to detract from female victims, and to blame women for something. Women are usually the first ones on board with helping men hurt women. And men are experts at painting themselves as victims and martyrs.
Rape, in the minds of many, now also means a woman ‘forces’ a male to pop a boner and stick it to her. And strangely, rape now also means a dick forcibly entering an anus. But the thing is this, even if the former is forced, it is not rape. It may be a sexual assault, and if so, it needs to have its own label. The latter is NOT RAPE. It actually already has its own label. It is called forcible sodomy. Women are also frequently forcibly sodomized by men, sometimes in addition to being raped. But ignoring and/or broadening existing definitions has achieved its goal. We’ve taken the focus off what men do to women. And sex crimes are no longer seen primarily as the domain of male perps. Congratulations men and the dangerous women who support them.
Letting Victims Define Crimes
I wrote a short piece in the past on the problem of letting perpetrators define their crimes. Interestingly, it is only with male violence against women that this is allowed. As in my example in that previous post demonstrates, it sounds ridiculous say, to allow a thief to define his crime. But we don’t bat an eye when men get to define crimes against female bodies.
Women need to be allowed to define the crimes against them. As it is, so many victims fall through the cracks because currently, men define what happens to women. Men control women’s and girls’ bodies, and that is a serious issue.
There are several problems with how we deal with rape and sexual assault – besides our unwillingness to name men as the primary perpetrators of sex crimes. One is that we don’t have enough clearly defined categories of crimes. We also have too many barriers to victims coming forward. And finally, our punishment system is inadequate and doesn’t take into account that a) crimes against women are hate crimes, and b) men who commit sex crimes are more likely to commit again than any other type of criminal, even after being ‘punished’ (i.e., no man ever, ever, ever rapes once). Personally, I want all rape, sexual assault, torture and murder of women/girls by men punished by death. This has nothing to do with deterrence (which we know doesn’t work), but everything to do with protecting future victims. It does not make sense that victims and potential victims have fewer rights and considerations and access to safety than hate-crime, sex criminals. In other words, only a dead rapist can’t rape again.
Other things to consider:
- Many women don’t report rape if their attacker is seen as ‘at risk’ or ‘vulnerable’. This includes non-white men, immigrant men, homeless men, disabled men, unemployed men, etc. It is a mixture of fear and compassion that drives women to negate their victimhood and protect their attacker.
- The burden of proof should be on the perpetrators, not the victims. Men should have to prove that they did not rape. In no other crime is the burden of proof on the victim. This exists ONLY because rape is a sex-specific hate crime by MEN against WOMEN, where males, who are in control of language, get to define the crimes they commit. Rape is the only crime where all the perps are male and all the victims are female. And men don’t want to take responsibility or stop raping. This needs to change.
- Consent has always been a problematic issue. It is rooted in property disputes. Bodies should not be seen as property. Further, in no place on earth do women come to the table on equal footing with men, and as such, they cannot give free and equal consent in any agreement with a male.
- Orgasms are erroneously seen as evidence of consent thanks to 2-dimensional male thinking on sex. Females are trained from birth into seeing servitude as a duty and a pleasurable activity. Orgasm has nothing to do with acceptance or lack of coercion.
- Many people believe that rape must involve weapons or threat of bodily harm in order to be considered rape. I’d argue that most rape is of the coercive or manipulative variety. I’d bet all of Donald Trump’s money that almost all women have ‘sex’ with the men in their lives (including husbands) because they fear abandonment, rejection, cheating, etc. All women know on some level that male love can turn on a dime if they don’t live up to the constantly changing expectations.
- Male children are born with a weapon – their penises. They learn about how to weaponize their dicks early in life thanks to parents, television/film, porn, and school. I’d argue that if they are using their dicks as weapons, then they need to be treated as dangerous. Sex predators never stop. I don’t have a problem with killing sex predators who are children – innocent child, my ass. And I also have no problem with holding mothers and fathers responsible for the crimes of their boy children. Rape destroys girls’ lives. No girl ever ‘gets over it’. I know I’m nearly alone in wanting boy sex predators eliminated from existence, but you’re deluded if you think predators are ‘born’ in adulthood out of nothing.
- I think statutory rape needs to be rethought. It’s not that I believe that girls are capable of free and equal consent with a boy the same age. No female of any age is ever on equal footing with a male of any age. This one is a hard one for me though. It saddens me that children are fucking. I truly wish girls were kept separate from boys for the duration of their childhoods so as not to have opportunities, educations and futures destroyed by the straight mandate and public school crash course in fuckholery and blowjobery. One final note: Adult males who fuck girl children and teenagers need to be shot. Period.
- ‘Sex workers’ / porn actresses – paid sex is rape as far as I’m concerned. There is a lot of disagreement on this. And people get mighty pissed when a feminist suggests that sex work is abuse, not work. Abused people often lash out and get defensive when they feel attacked (even if they are not being attacked, but rather someone is trying to help them). All I can say is that women would not sell their bodies if men didn’t exist. It is almost always done out of desperation and/or resulting from childhood sex abuse. These are the conditions that make rape easy peasy to dress up as legit in a capitalist, male-serving society.
- Drugs and alcohol are convenient get-out-of-jail cards for men, and eternal damners of women. It is no coincidence that males joke about helping women relax with a drink. ‘No inhibitions’ is just man-speak for ‘no credible defense’ in a rape trial.
This really is a huge issue. So much more could be written. But it is some background to my survey. Again, if you wish to participate and let your thoughts be known, it would be very much appreciated. The link to the survey is below.
I’ve always found a bit of comfort in writing. When my ESL students ask me how to improve their English vocabulary, I tell them to read and write as much as possible. But there are so many more benefits to writing. You can work through issues or confusion in your mind. It gives you a distracting focus. You can get bottled-up emotion out. I don’t usually tell students this. They don’t seem to care about that stuff.
Anyhow, it is a bad day. I made the mistake of leaving my apartment at 7:30 this morning to go to the market to buy vegetables. Why was this a mistake, you might ask? Seems like a pretty routine, innocuous thing to do. Yeah, it is perhaps. But for me, it is frequently dangerous. Leaving my apartment is anxiety-provoking to me. It often takes some time to psych myself up, and I only go out when it is absolutely necessary.
Do I live in a war zone? Well, in a sense, I’ve come to see it as such. In the traditional sense of the word, it isn’t. But I’m frequently physically assaulted, especially in my own neighbourhood. Sometimes, I’m sexually assaulted. Frequently, intimidated or given the Chinese version of sexual harassment. I’ve requested a transfer to another of our university campuses several times, now, and I am always denied despite declines in my health and increased frequency of assault over the last 4 years.
Today, walking back from the market, I was hit. I was hit, and when I protested, I was tripped, and a few more people joined in to yell at me. Everything was my fault. I hurried back to the safety of my cage (apartment) in hysterics, completely terrorized, clutching my bag of carrots and green beans. I hadn’t cried in several months, despite several assaults having taken place, and my fear and rage and depression had built up and I couldn’t stop for a long time. I have no easily accessible adult people in my life to talk to anymore , so I decided to write.
The worst part of it was that it was a woman who did it. Most of the physical assaults on my body are committed by Chinese women. Men seldom hit me. Men do almost all the sexual stuff to me, and only occasionally hit me – only the last serious sexual assault I experienced was done by a Chinese woman with a lot of power over non-Chinese, and she did it publicly in front of about 100 Chinese people, perhaps to make an example of me. But the violent ones, the ones who knock me over; the ones who see me and deliberately cross the empty road in order to smash into me; the ones who trip me; the ones who call me ‘strange’, who criticize my appearance; who whisper and point and laugh at me; the ones who push me out of the way so they can steal the bus seat I’m lowering myself into – they are all women. It hurts me. Sometimes it is physical hurt in addition to the psychological hurt. But it always hurts. It really hurts because I constantly help Chinese women, even many I don’t know, with all sorts of stuff. I help Chinese women more than Chinese women help Chinese women (relationships between women in a traditional culture is a post for another time) I feel terrified. I feel betrayed. My depression deepens.
The second worst part of it is that every time I am assaulted because of my sex and race, I am reminded that no one will believe me or support me. I am alone in so many senses. I read so many feminists who screech that white women don’t experience racism. It’s an incorrect belief based on a pro-male agenda. White women are gaslighted and shamed and driven off and out of communities if we try to talk about our experiences, and assaults, and rapes, and abuse by non-white women and men. I firmly believe that all women experience racism in addition to misogyny. They often go together. Many people fail to understand that racism is not a dichotomy, not so easy to describe as misogyny. Many people also fail to understand that racism is borne of woman-hate. Without woman hate, you don’t have racism. Further, racism wasn’t created by white people, it was created by men – and much longer ago than people think – before white people even existed in their current manifestation. The first time a tribe encountered another tribe with different skin colouring, culture, beliefs and customs, the males ‘othered’ them so as to protect the cunts and uteri of ‘their’ women. Men determined (still do) who got to use women’s bodies. To keep the bloodlines pure and to keep firm control over women. As time has gone on, and as the world has become more populated and races come into contact with one another on a more regular basis, the original intentions remain true. The manifestations become more varied and complex. But all races are racist, all men seek to protect the cunts of their group, even if they don’t realize that that is what they are doing. That is how it started and how it continues to be fuelled. And owned women have followed the men doing their part to maintain approval and fail to bond with ‘other’ women who actually have more in common with them than any man does. Monocultures are still much more racist than multicultures because the ‘others’ who do exist in them don’t have a voice or legal rights or often don’t exist in the numbers necessary to gain attention. No one is required to take responsibility. And no one is culpable (except the other). In monocultures, the majority is free to do what they wish. And like in my experience today (and every time, for that matter), locals support the violent abuser instead of the victim because it is easier. When people talk about how racist Western countries are, they really have no idea about what goes on anywhere else or even outside their small circles. Many of the loudest dismiss or ignore data from real live people that demand that pet theories be questioned. They often nestle these theories in decades or centuries long gone by and try to use them to explain situations that don’t really exist anymore. These days, nobody in the West gets hit and abused almost every time they go to the shops because of their race. Most people will protect and fight for victims of racism (unless the victims are white). They may experience other constant threats (i.e., living in the middle of gangland, or a domestic abuse situation, or trapped in the prostitution downward spiral), but that is not racism (though they are not necessarily mutually exclusive).
I really want to escape China. I live in a constant state of holding my emotions in check, and bottling up my fear in order to eat and go to my workplace, and wondering whether I’m going to end up dying here because of racist, misogynist brutality. But it is not so easy to leave when you’ve been gone from your home for so long that you have no safety net, no one to help you, no where to go. No family, few friends or connections. Very little money. No job prospects.
Unfortunately, I have to go out again today, and I’m dreading it. I never know what is going to happen to me – only that something will happen.
Preamble to the Survey
In the past, I designed and offered up a Super-Fun Quiz™ on feminism dilution, which remains open to this day (read the prelim post first and follow the link at the bottom after). It was casually designed, and not intended for serious data analysis. The tool itself was inadequate for design/measurement purposes, and besides, I didn’t vet or validate the quiz first. But it is certainly useful for introspection or further thinking on topics. At least it was for me. And it was from the results of this quiz, that I got to thinking about designing a second, more specific, survey. It became apparent to me that people have some really disturbing or unclear ideas about rape. The quiz wasn’t designed to look at that specifically, but there was one question that addressed one element of the most serious issue facing every single woman on the planet. I mean, really, rape is the single-most important and influential reason our planet is speeding towards death on several levels. Without rape, things would be unimaginably different. Rape affects not only the lives of women, but trickles down to affect every aspect of human life, animal life, and the environment. It is hard for most people to understand that, and see the connection between the primary mechanism of female subjugation and the destruction of the planet, but examination with open eyes and honesty shows that it is true. Anyhow, I wanted to explore ideas about rape.
So, out came my methodologist’s cap, and I’ve set to designing prodding questions on this single topic. It is a survey, rather than a quiz. You won’t be scoring yourself on ‘rape knowledge’. I’m collecting data for further thinking and further writing, that’s all. In the past, I did work professionally in research on serial rape and workplace violent crime, but this survey is not destined for publication other than on my blog.
If you intend to take the survey, the link is below. I’m going to discuss my own views in the next post as I’d prefer your views not to be coloured by my opinions. I’d appreciate your participation. I was thrilled to have had a great turn-out for the last quiz, and to be honest, I’m much more interested in this current survey, so your opinions are of value to me. Please be assured that the survey is anonymous. Polldaddy collates country respondent information, but that’s all that is provided to me.
There isn’t a single culture on this earth where males don’t lust after and pursue the objectification, assault, and rape of little girls. Pedophelia is built into all religions, condoned by all systems of government, and is practised by all racial and ethnic groups in every country in the world. It has been practised, often in a publicly sanctioned way, since time began. I’ve written before that there really is no such thing in males or females as natural ‘heterosexuality’. I’d extend that, in males, to human-oriented sexuality. Males are attracted to anything that they can envision will accommodate their dicks. It can be a living thing or an inanimate object. It can be natural or man-made. It can be human or animal. And among humans, there really is no difference for men between adults and children except where lame attempts have been made to set up guidelines on which humans can be raped by men with impunity. All this is to say that all men have a variety of lusts in them, including towards children (especially girl children). It’s just that some men hide these lusts better than others, and some are more successfully conditioned to react negatively to children as sexual stimuli. Conditioning doesn’t erase pedophilic tendencies, mind you.
Every culture on the planet has a pedophilic underbelly and often, an above-ground set of bizarre, but unquestioned, rituals, designed to prepare girl children for use by males of all ages. And that same system reinforces this brainwashing by putting into the heads of adult women that their value increases if they, too, pursue youthful appearances and behaviours. Some rituals are common across time and place, but each culture has its set of weird shit that is forced upon women and girls to prepare them for use by males. And as adult females pursue their return to a ‘jail bait’ state, they further serve as examples to girls. And sad to say, but mothers are the number one enforcers of female slave behaviour in their daughters. Very few girls escape having an infantilized and acquiescing sex slave as a role model in their childhood homes.
It is no coincidence that feminization goes hand in hand with infantilization. Feminization has nothing to do with this fabled ‘sexual power’ that men tell us we have (the power to inspire boners). No, sexual power is held solely by men – it is the power to rape, among other male sexual privileges. Rather, feminization is the reduction of a female to a powerless, submissive, sexualized, objectified state. Infantilization is the reduction of a person to a powerless, submissive, child-like state. In females, they are essentially the same thing, and you only need to do one to make the other easier to achieve. An infantilized adult woman would seem more feminine. And a feminized adult woman would seem more infantilized. Imagine how difficult it is to infantilize a butch lesbian, for example – it’s difficult because she is not feminizing herself or allowing anyone to feminize her. The woman who cannot be infantilized / feminized is very threatening to men and women who serve men. She refuses to be owned.
[A note on emasculation. ‘Emasculation’ – which is something men complain about, but really isn’t a thing – is the male reaction to a woman who challenges his perceived right to dominate and/or rape women. Men can only be ’emasculated’ if they believe they are naturally superior to women and believe they can do what they want to them with impunity. So, you see, it really isn’t a serious thing at all, but the whining of insecure and unintelligent males who have enjoyed an enormous amount of privilege in their lives. There is no equivalent to emasculation for women. Women have never had any kind of power. The closest would be feminization/infantilization, which is more of an ensuring that power is never achieved rather than a taking away of (non-existent) power. Emasculation is actually a good thing for men – and the entire world – and really, should be called ‘humanization’ – the stripping of men’s right to threaten, control, rape, and kill women with impunity – a process that makes males more human.]
The feminization and infantilization of women all over the world is almost ubiquitously accepted by females, so effective has the brainwashing program been. Women don’t question the strange and cruel rituals they are forced to engage in, and often serve as on-the-ground enforcers for children and non-conforming, rebel-women, thus lessening the work men have to put into controlling the female population. All practices are designed, often by women themselves in a subconscious effort to make themselves more appealingly rapeable to pedophiles. That is key to remember. All feminization practices all over the world are designed to make women seem like fuckable children, the preferred human targets for men. Confident, strong, independent, adult women don’t tend to fall so easily for male nonsense and tend to distance themselves from male control. There is no appeal to men in this kind of person. Children, on the other hand, aside from their child bodies, which are incomprehensibly attractive to males (honestly, I can’t even get into the head of a generic male in order to understand their universal pedophilic lusts), children are naive, inexperienced, and easy to manipulate psychologically and intellectually. These characteristics are appealing to men, in general.
So what do women do to make themselves more appealing to rapists? I don’t have enough space here to discuss the range of rituals carried out in different countries, but I’ll offer a few up.
In China, where I have years of experience, I notice that it is customary for women to refer to themselves as ‘girls’. In university classrooms, males will refer to themselves as men, but their same-age female classmates will be ‘girls’. If I call them ‘women’, everybody gets weirded out. It has been explained to me that that is what males want. They want a female who acts like a girl. And after years of watching predictable and repetitive interactions between dating and married couples here, I understand the dance well. Females are required to be literally physically led around by males. They are not to have preferences. They are required to sulk, and pout, and cry, and sit silently alternating with throwing infantile temper tantrums when something is inevitably done wrong by the male in the relationship. They act very much like children, in other words. Women are required to give little slaps of protest to the arms of their boyfriends or husbands when said dude is messing around. They are required to let deficient males cheat off them in class and then to accept the inevitable rewarding of these same incompetent males with better jobs, more opportunities and higher pay. Chinese women are completely infantilized. And when they refuse to act like children – especially in the workplace – they are called ‘dragon ladies’.
I was also treated to a charming relating of a Chinese myth by one of my local friends. He was telling me that some people believe that daughters are actually former lovers of their fathers in a past life. He thought it was a cute and sweet story. I felt revolted and saw an open door for rationalizing incestuous pedophilia. I don’t know how common this belief actually is. But it is creepy as hell and an example of one of the many myths men around the world design in order to create justifications for the abuse of female children and adults.
We have infantilizing, pedophilic rituals in the West as well. One prime example is the tortuous and irrational practice of removing body hair from female bodies. Almost all Western women cling to this practice and angrily protest and relentlessly attack brave and strong women who refuse to submit to this idiocy. The practice is becoming worse and more barbaric with new techniques and harsher standards. More and more hair has been stripped from women’s bodies – there is practically nothing left on women these days. And the only explanation that makes sense for how this all started is that it has to do with trying to obtain a child-like body. Little girls have almost no hair on their bodies. Men like to rape and objectify little girls. But how did this horrific ritual start? How did we get from allowing girls to grow naturally into adult women to forcing women to believe their naturally maturing bodies were gross or unnatural or dirty? I can only imagine that male pedophilia is at its root. Women either got jealous (probably) or wanted to distract their husbands from raping their daughters (um, possibly), and decided that instead of standing up and saying ‘fuck off!’, they would distract the pedophiles and try to bring them back to the path of woman-rape. I can’t imagine any other reason for this practice’s origin that makes sense. All irrational female behaviour and thought patterns are directly caused by male control, rape, and destruction. Sorry dudes, women don’t irrationally try to destroy themselves for the hell of it. It is because of men. And for some reason, women think it makes more sense to go along with self-destruction than to fight.
Western marital name-changing is also an infantilizing ritual done only to women. Erasing a woman’s human identity and branding her with the mark of her husband just like a child or livestock is another way in which women are denied any kind of power. It has been said many times that there is power in a name. And it makes sense that any power that may come from that might be denied a woman. Men and women alike scoff at the idea that it is a big deal for a woman to change her name. But suggest to a man that he take a wife’s name, or even better, accidentally call a man by his wife’s name (if she keeps her surname), and you’ll find out just what a big deal it is. I remember witnessing a never-ending and irrationally blown-out-of-proportion rant by my left-wing, liberal, highly educated father one time when he answered the phone and was called his wife’s name by a telemarketer. It was like he had received a death threat, given the way he reacted to what was an innocent mistake. See, marital name change IS a big deal and it serves to infantilize women and to reinforce that they are the sexual property of their master-husband.
Another example that is present in many cultures in the world is that of beauty pageants. There is an increasing interest in entering young girls into pageants and forcing sexuality and objectification on them in very blatant ways. It is a messed up world of making little girls look and act more like adult women. We are at a point where little girls and women are clearly being told they are one and the same. Fuck objects. But, the younger, the better. It is truly horrifying.
Likely, you can think of specific examples of pedophelia support in your own life / culture. Perhaps (likely), you even do things yourself that support pedophelia through the infantilizing of yourself, your female offspring, and/or the women around you. All feminization serves to infantilize women, and remember that all infantilization of adult women is rooted in men’s desire for children. Controllable, rapeable, infantilized women are the closest thing today’s men can legally get to children. And women are deeply invested in keeping men raping them, and will go to great lengths to makes themselves seem as young as possible. Like in my other posts on enforced heterosexuality (and enforced sexuality), I truly believe that men are not specifically designed to fuck women. They get turned on by anything and everything, and if it comes to humans, little girls are often much more appealing than less naive and harder-to-control adult women. Ask yourself if you really, truly want to know exactly how large the international, underground and deep-web pedo-porn rings are. And whether your hubbies and boyfriends and fathers and sons are jerking off to pics and vids of children. Yeah, you might not want to know…
Whoever said that men weren’t creative beings? Well, they are. In a way. They’re creative in much the same way that they are capable of love. It is very different from how women love. Men love beer, or cars, or evolutionary biology, or vindictive deities, or women in pretty much the same way – without nuance. The ‘love’ is shallow, but intense, and is both self-oriented and self-serving. Men don’t love as a selfless act or in a way that helps someone (or something) other than themselves. Men love beer because it dulls existential pain, might be pleasurable on the tongue, and gives them a way of shirking rape charges in the rare case that a woman is stupid enough to speak truth about her violation in public. In the same way, when men love people, it is because the object of love serves them in some way. He isn’t selflessly giving himself to the person, he is telling us that he has use for her. “I love you” means: “Currently, I am getting some use and pleasure from you. And that may change tomorrow if you fail to please me in some way.” The object is always replaceable, and if not replaced, the man in question usually falters in some significant way. Men who lose a long-term wife-slave seldom live very long after her death. The same is not true of women as male love is not about taking care of women in the ways that matter. Women usually find their freedom after spousal death. But that is male love. It is self-serving and highly conditional upon the love-object delivering what is expected and making no demands in return. And often, in men, love lies on the knife blade’s edge with their hatred, and sometimes, they are completely indistinguishable. Love often resembles hate just as male-defined sex is practically indistinguishable from rape. And so, a man can emotionally abuse, rape and beat a woman and call it love. And an emotional apology to her afterwards coupled with the word ‘love’ will always win a woman over because she understands emotion and tears and apologies and gifts. For her that is love – the giving. For a man though, he is afraid of losing his object, and will do and say anything to avoid losing his power.
The creative drive in men is similar. Men create for several reasons – all of them self-serving. Men create to consume. They create to gain power and money. They create to gain envy and admiration. They create to satisfy various fantasies (all of which are destructive to the object being used). Underlying much of this is a fundamental truth: they create objects to hate and to direct their rage at.
And so we have Woman.
Now I’ve written in the past that we have never known what a natural woman is. I’ve discussed the interaction of nature and nurture and how they affect males and females differently (here) and how we can tell what is natural and unnatural behaviour (here). I believe that not only are men solely allowed to be natural creatures, but that females – or Woman – is a completely constructed being. She is the crowning glory of men’s creative output. She changes over time and across cultures to reflect what men believe their rights (also what they call their ‘needs’) to be. But, the common theme across time and place has always been that Woman is a fuckhole (or series of fuckholes) and a baby-factory. She is forced to be dependent on men for survival, while at the same time is threatened by these very same men. She lives in a continuous, boner-producing loop of fear of and love for her oppressor (aka Stockholm Syndrome). She is his biggest fan and greatest defender, even as she cowers from him and fears the constant threat his existence signifies to her. Woman exhibits a highly unnatural set of behaviours all designed to suit male purposes (domination, quelling feelings of inadequacy, sado-sexual pleasure, material for comedy, etc).
But all artists tend to have a current of self-loathing running through them. It fuels them by producing angst – and the creative drive. And Woman, as a male creation, serves another important purpose for him. She is the ultimate object of his hate. He has created something to use, something that is the exact opposite of what he feels he himself is, and in doing so, he creates something to loathe. He loves what he has created in the way that he is capable of love as I described above, but the angst-ridden artist can never achieve perfection – actual women can never meet his expectation of perfection – so he ends up hating his creation. He creates something to ‘love’ (use), but it is also something to hate and continually mock and try to destroy. She allows him to avoid directly destroying himself, although by destroying Woman, is actually is destroying everything, including himself.
Another time, I’ll talk about female slurs, but I’ll briefly mention them here as they are also the main archetypes that males love to hate. I’m referring to the Bitch and the Whore.
The Bitch was initially a dehumanizing reference to Woman’s forced role as a breeding dog. Men denied her entrance to almost every other possible role in society. It’s what he wanted and needed to assert his dominance, and he also hated her for it. Imagine putting a bird in a cage, denying it access to the sky, and then commenting that not only do birds never ever fly, but they don’t even want to or like to fly. They may perhaps not even be designed for flying despite the fact that they have wings. And the satisfying conclusion, “Stupid, useless, fucking birds. At least they make the cage look good!” This has been woman’s story since time began. Men forced Woman into a breeding dog role, prevented her from doing anything else with her life, and erroneously saw this as proof that she neither wanted to do nor was capable of doing anything else. All this despite a highly evolved brain and the same (or greater) capacity for skill mastery as men. “Stupid, useless, fucking bitches. At least, they make ME look good.”
The Bitch, more recently, has become a replacement term for Woman. Before this, as some women started to openly question their caged existence and the male creative drive, it used to be used most often to refer to a woman who pointed out or interfered with men’s privilege and brutality. But these days, if you pay attention to media, entertainment, daily conversations, output from gay and black culture, etc., you’ll see that in many ways, Bitch is now equal to Woman. And, strangely enough, the trannies – men in dresses – are taking over the word ‘woman’ for themselves. How did we get here…? The intensity and normalization of woman-hate in Western countries is reflected by how little attention hate speech such as this and other woman-slurs receive. I mean really, television will bleep out ‘fuck’, but not ‘bitch’. And all racial and ethnic slurs produce a cringe-factor in all people these days and are NEVER heard on television. Opposing a woman-slur gets you laughed at or an admonishment for not having your priorities straight (e.g., focusing instead on racism). Nope, woman hate is at an all-time high, and is completely brushed under the carpet. Men’s creative juices are still flowing, and Woman is becoming more and more unnatural with every iteration.
We also have the Whore. Since the beginning of time, men have creatively allowed a second role for Woman because it served an extremely important purpose for them. She is the Whore – a rejected woman; an unlucky woman; a confused, abused, misguided woman; and in essence, a woman who serves male sexual ‘needs’ in all ways. In the past, women were disallowed into the economy, and completely dependent on men for survival. One wrong move or a piece of bad luck, and she was forced into selling her body in order to live. In reality, if women were free from men and living naturally, they would never have even conceived of selling their bodies. But as per creative male design, putting Woman into a situation where she must service cock to survive allowed men an outlet for their sexual depravity as well as a very convenient object for their hate and rage. The Bitch was/is hated, but the Whore is hated more. Another love/hate object. Men tell us they are entitled to the use of whores, while at the same time castigating them and denying them humanity. They are hated and wanted and used by religious and atheist, conservative and liberal men alike. In the present day, capitalist men tell us that selling your cunt is a legitimate business, just like flipping burgers. But, unlike the burger-flipper, men hate and abuse whores. Truly, though, men see all women as whores. Some are public (prostitutes, strippers, etc.) and some are private (girlfriends, wives, etc.) The Whore is also a convenient construction used to divide women. Private whores are threatened by public whores and vice versa. Pitting these women against once another is part of the male plan of hate and control, and it works well. But underneath it all, public Whore, private Whore, and Bitch are really all one and the same… Woman.
One thing to know is that these archetypes, and the slurs themselves, will NEVER go away. They are a crucial part of the male system of violence and hate and creation and ‘love’ that was designed by men long ago. It is impossible to imagine a world where men exist and creative hate doesn’t. Men talk about the feminization/pussification of society, and this is exactly what they are getting at. They can’t exist without violence and woman-hate. They are threatened by the idea of dismantling their system by the introduction of natural female qualities of fairness, empathy, knowledge- and truth-seeking, love, etc. They fear the removal of hate and violence, the very things that give men meaning and purpose and that currently underlie every single society in existence. They fear the eradication of their greatest creation – the Whore/Bitch. They don’t have to worry though, no one is fighting them. Quite the opposite, actually.
[This post is part of the Love = Hate series.]
I don’t celebrate Christmas. The Chinese people around me can’t understand it because they don’t give a shit about understanding other people’s cultures, preferring instead, to apply stereotypes and to force me to fit into the box they have have for us non-Chinese. A lot of Western people don’t celebrate the holiday, in fact. I’m one of them. I’m an atheist (another thing the Chinese can’t wrap their heads around), and I am not a capitalist (which most Chinese people are and can’t understand that I’m not). The holiday mostly makes me uncomfortable due to the religious and materialistic bullshit. Luckily, living in China as I do, I’m almost always working and often forget when the actual day arrives.
Despite that, I made up a wish list for Ms. Claus, Santa’s asexual (or possibly lesbian) daughter. I’m hoping she’ll put the old fucker into an old folks’ home and take over the holiday with the aim to dismantle the whole thing. I write this list knowing that not a single one of them is possible. You can’t buy my wishes like you can the latest iPhone. They will never happen. Women – even feminists – aren’t interested in real change, especially since real change can’t happen through reasoning with men. I am really starting to think that people like misery; they like to have stuff to complain about. People like to hate and blame others – especially those who are most convenient and easiest to take down. No one is interested in addressing the real problems or the people with real power (men of all colours and ethnicities and religions). Meh, here’s the list anyways. I’m winding down as I have been since the summer. It’s really hard to give a shit anymore when you can’t find women who are serious about reality, who have versions of feminism I can’t get on board with, and who are willing to call a spade a spade…
- I wish that white women would stop hating themselves so much; stop listening to what white men, non-white-men, and non-white women tell them to feel and do and think and say; and above all, stop telling other white women how to do white female slavery correctly. You wanna be a slave, well go for it. But fuck off telling me to accept victimization by the entire GD world.
- I wish that all people would understand that only women can be raped. Only by men. Other types of sexual assault are just that – other types of sexual assault. Trannie-dudes can’t be raped. Non-trannie dudes can’t be raped. Lesbians can’t rape women. New, correct definitions created by women are needed for the unfortunately wide range of shitty forced sex acts that are done to (mostly) women and girls. Definitions that serve the actual victims and not the perpetrators.
- I wish that trannie-dudes would shut the fuck up. Do I need to say more? They don’t need to die in a fire. Just shut. the fuck. up. Oh, and stay out of women’s space. Go get some help. The world is your oyster. You’re men!!! Accept it!
- I wish feminists would espouse a non-breeding agenda. Having baybees is not a feminist act. We have enough goddamn people in the world. Plus, breeding is the single most selfish and self-serving act one can commit, and breeding in this world serves to disastrously hurt the rights and status of those women who bravely and unselfishly choose not to breed for the good of humankind, and the environment, and all the other species on the planet who suffer because humans are stupid and gross. If you have laydee-feels, my dear feminists, then adopt one of the many, many unwanted children that already exist in the world. Seriously. There are many. Too many.
- I wish that non-white people, especially women, would stop blaming white women for every shitty thing happening in their lives. Guess what? White chicks – especially the single, childless, and asexual or lesbian ones – have shittier or equally shitty lives. They did not cause whatever is happening to you. The ‘rich white woman’ is an oh-so-convenient trope meant to encourage racial and misogynist hatred, to separate women, and to create false narratives and myths. And personally, I know more rich non-white women than white women, so what the fuck? Why aren’t they held responsible for anything? In addition, it is not white women’s job to fix your problems. White women have little to no power in this world. Never have. Quite the opposite, in fact. Instead, blame men, especially those of your racial group, closest to home. The ones raping you and eroding your self-esteem and forcing pregnancy on you in the name of love. The ones you blindly serve and support unconditionally while trying to destroy people who DON’T want to enslave you, but who desperately want you to be free to self-actualize as intelligent, creative beings.
- I wish heterosexual women would stop trying to hurt, use, discard, shame and one-up non-straight women..
- I wish everyone would stop coddling rapey and violent and misogynist men of religion and colour. Being a member of a ‘minority’ group in no way, shape or form, means that they don’t have any power or that they give a shit about other crapped-upon groups (i.e., women). ALL men have power over ALL women. I’ve been assaulted by more men of colour than white men through my life – even in places where there are more whites than anything else. No white chick with her liberal agenda will EVER convince me that white men are worse than any other group. That kind of naive, blinkered, cookie-seeking thinking is gonna get you raped, dummies. Been there, done that. Been raped. Many times.
- I wish a single, childless woman could afford to support herself and not have to constantly worry about what she’ll do when she’s old and can’t support herself.
- I wish old women were respected and were allowed to age and look old. Like men are!
- I wish the world didn’t have such a frightened, psycho need to control the life and death of other people, while at the same time, not giving a shit about quality of life. All people capable of making plans for their future should be able to choose the time and method of their death without the interference of a population that truly doesn’t give a shit about them despite their faux-impassioned protests about the sanctity of life. Such hypocritical bullshit.
- (Okay, not an even 10.) I wish women could go anywhere at any time and not have to worry about what men will (not ‘might’) do to them.
Happy Christmas or whatever you do at the end of the month.
I swear I have a larger male readership than a female one. My most popular post is the one I wrote about the Muslim rapist, and most of the search terms that bring (men) people to my site involve porn, Arabs, blacks and Muslims raping white women, and similar concepts. Apparently, men love the idea of white women getting what’s coming to them – and they want to see it – because white women are hated more than most, I suppose. This blog has also made it onto a few hate sites set up by men – you know the kind of dinkus I’m talking about – the two-brain-celled rapists who like to call themselves ‘rational’ (LOL!) so that they can dismiss threatening, reality-based feminist writings. Banal, boring, funny if it weren’t backed by very real violence. Men hate women – what’s new? So, to celebrate my male readership, I devote this next post to them and their tiny, whiny male egos and the bottomless jealousy that goes with it. Love you, boys 😉
One day in school, when I was in my early teens, the teacher gave our class some busy work in the form of math problems so as to leave the classroom for some teacherly business. I got to work. What can I say? I love math problems. But of course, boys don’t do well when unsupervised. I firmly believe in sex-segregated education. Girls just don’t ‘devolve’ when the tiniest of opportunities arise. Indeed, my male college students can barely handle sitting, paying attention and learning in a supervised classroom. Based on my extensive experience in multiple countries, I think males aren’t really cut out for education (probably better suited to manual labour, imo). So, anyhow, upon my high school math teacher leaving the room all those years ago, of course one of the douchebags sitting near me whipped out a pack of cards and started building a house. It stole my attention away from what, in my opinion, was much more fun and productive, but mostly because all I could think about doing was letting him make some significant progress only later to lean in and blow the fucking thing down. But I hadn’t yet become a bitch♥ at that point, so I let him be and went back to my math party.
♥ Defined by society at large as ‘a woman who interferes with or even just points out the rules governing male privilege’. Note this is not the only definition of ‘bitch’, and it certainly isn’t mine. That is for another post.
Now, this post isn’t about education or math problems or even nifty things to do with a pack of playing cards. It is about fragile, unnatural, male systems that can easily be blown down if we can see past whatever distractions and roadblocks have been set up to protect them.
In order to have this discussion, I need to talk a bit about the natural and unnatural. Determining what is natural and what is unnatural has always been a confusing thing for us humans. Males define things and force females to believe them. And males have never, despite their insistence, been rational beings. So, for now, fuck the male definitions. I like to use behavioural evidence to suggest reality in many situations. So here, a general rule of thumb can help us discern the difference.
The more human interference that is required to force something to happen or exist, the more unnatural that something is.
And the converse:
The more human interference that is required to prevent something from happening or existing, the more natural that something is.
We need some neutral examples first, before I show myself to be the bitch♥ that I am.
Forcing the Unnatural. Think of dams. Men have destroyed entire geographical areas by building self-serving, short-sighted dam projects. Proponents have called them “the cornerstone in the development and management of water resources development of a river basin“, but really, any male can put a positive spin on even the worst things on the planet. Just listen to them. They mansplain all the time about how destruction = progress. In a more rational (i.e., non-male) world, one would always to do a cost benefit analysis (or more basically, a pros and cons list), and actually pay attention to what a cost is. The pros of a dam are completely human-centric – forced water supply, flood control, irrigation, navigation, sedimentation control, and hydropower – and are designed to serve human gluttony and laziness and the rape agenda of men (specifically, over-breeding and over-population due to enforced heterosexuality). But the negatives of such an unnatural act as creating a dam are not really worth what is gained. Dam projects, especially large ones, destroy local and not so local environments by causing widespread erosion, deepening ground water tables, decimated complex ecosystems, extinction of species, and encouraged migration of predatory humans to areas where high-volume human life is not naturally sustainable. Dams are not natural and they force conditions that are not natural with catastrophic consequences, many of which aren’t immediately seen. But males gleefully call this kind of stuff ‘progress’ and ‘achievement’.
Preventing the Natural. Think of what we call ‘weeds’. Weed is a relative term. Kind of like calling a woman ‘crazy’ when she opposes something men are doing. Unlike women, weeds are insusceptible to the variety of punishment women are given, and require much more effort to control as they can grow quickly and take over an area where humans are trying to grow something unnaturally. So, a weed is basically a normal plant that some human doesn’t want in his or her environment because it interferes with his or her agenda. Cyperus iria, for example, are weeds that Asians don’t want interfering with their rice fields. And dandelions are weeds that North Americans don’t want in their lawns or in their veggie gardens. (Note here that I’m not talking about invasive species that mostly arise due to humans fucking up the environment and opening the door to species that shouldn’t be there in the first place, but that take over once there.) Once a human male decides that something natural is inconvenient or gets in the way of a selfish human need or desire, it is labelled as bad, evil, crazy, etc., and most importantly — unnatural. And it is eradicated. Often the eradication causes further problems (see this post where male solutions are, in fact, ways to create more problems and justify male existence). With weeds, we’ve got a whole host of herbicides that were created and that wreak more havoc than just destroying innocent plants.
Unnatural Systems Are Fragile Systems
One thing you might notice about forcing the unnatural and suppressing the natural is that it is really hard to maintain their constant forced or suppressed state, and there are usually negative repercussions for not allowing nature to do what it is supposed to do. [*Note that what men call ‘natural’ is usually quite the opposite. Again, men define things to serve their agenda.*] Dams need constant maintenance and we are even now still learning about the negative impacts of individual massive dam projects. And weeds? They aren’t happy to stay away. You get rid of them once, and they come right back. Weeding, as a chore, is a constant thing – the bane of a gardener’s life besides natural pests and unpredictable weather.
But let’s think about the natural and unnatural on a level of human control. Men control and poison every level of life in the name of power and their own insecurity. All living things fall under his purview. And one of his favourite things to control is the lives of women. There is much more sadistic pleasure to be had from controlling the life, behaviour and body of a woman than there is from weeding a garden, doncha know.
Here’s the thing about controlling human life, though. All unnatural systems require violence and hard core propaganda to force them to remain in existence. I mean, all forced unnatural systems and all suppressed natural things require a level of violence, but when it comes to human control, there is one variable of complication. Unlike weeds, humans can and do fight back when they are backed into a corner. Humans, especially women, also generally respond well to violence and threats. So in order to force women to do unnatural things or live in unnatural ways, they must be threatened with violence. The threat must be constant, reinforced with examples of the threat coming true, and the threats and violence must be bolstered by all sorts of mythology, idealizations, romanticization, slogans, cautionary tales, and various other punishments for curiosity, boundary-testing and outright deviation or rejection of the control. Wonder whether a human system, regardless of culture, is natural or unnatural? Look at what holds that system in place. Are people punished in some way (socially, economically, physically, sexually, legally, etc) for deviating? Is one group of people treated differently than another group in the same system? Is fear a massive component in the compliance of at least one group involved in the system? Do the rules make sense for everyone if you actually delve beneath the surface and question them? How much resistance do you get from adherents if you question their devotion to the system?
These systems might seem rather tried and true. Rooted in hundreds or thousands of years of history. In fact, many people within the system will cite the long history of a system as proof that ‘it works’. But in actual fact, unnatural systems are quite fragile things. If you take away the many support beams (propaganda, violence, punishment for bad behaviour, etc), the system falls apart. Like a house of cards. Like a house of straw. Without the violence and related support, the system doesn’t work. Isn’t meant to work. Cannot work.
Heterosexuality and the Control of Women: A Fragile System
Women have been controlled by men for thousands of years. Unlike what most people will say, it is not natural. Heterosexuality, which I have posited is not natural at all (both in Part I and Part II), is in fact an unnatural and fragile system that has been forced and is enforced through sustained violence and the threat of violence and a shitload of propaganda. It fails all the tests of what is natural.
- Are people punished in some way (socially, economically, physically, sexually, legally, etc) for deviating? YES
- Is one group of people treated differently than another group in the same system? YES
- Is fear a massive component in the compliance of at least one group involved in the system? YES
- Do the rules make sense for everyone if you actually delve beneath the surface and question them? NO
- How much resistance do you get from adherents if you question their devotion to the system? TONS (for example, I’ve written about some of women’s coping mechanisms here, but there are so many more )
If the violence were taken away. If the threat of violence were taken away. If women were allowed to deprogram and detoxify. If the complex and seriously impressive propaganda machine were shut down, there would be no heterosexuality. No female slavery. The male system, which runs on indentured female energy and service, would collapse. Men certainly won’t allow that. And most women are too brainwashed and cock-whipped to allow that collapse and their ensuing freedom. Freedom can seem very threatening when it is, as yet, undefined.
Some men do realize how fragile their house of cards – their system of dominance – is and that their lives on easy street (compared to women’s) would end if they were to reject the system they currently uphold and reap the benefits of. But it would come undone so easily if even a fraction of the world’s women just stopped, took the actual cocks out of their mouths and other orifices, and proceeded to give the best blow job of their lives. A different kind of blow job. The one where our fragile male system of dominance blew down and away like I imagined that high school douchebag’s house of cards would have had I been less interested in math.
Is it a good idea to write while seriously sleep-deprived and mildly wasted at the same time? Probably not, but if I write and then wait to publish, there might not be a post at all. I’ve written half a dozen partial posts, only to leave them in draft form. so here goes. Forgive me for whatever comes out on this Saturday night of red wining. There really isn’t much point here other than to lay out what has been keeping me awake.
Imagine an existence where the most you have to worry about is the random illnesses that all people worry about at one point or another in their lives. But know that while you worry about it, you don’t have to panic about not getting appropriate health care (or not, if you choose not to treat what comes up). You don’t have to worry about being homeless or jobless or penniless or helpless – or in some compounded state of fuckery. In other words, imagine normal worries, but in a world that we don’t currently have. Imagine not worrying about your general safety, your employability, your social life, your freedom, your sanity.
It sounds pretty good. I fantasize about it often. I frequently think about what it would be like to just do the work I enjoy – working hard, contributing to the world in a small way. I’ve always wanted to have an edible garden that can sustain me, a native bee and butterfly sanctuary to keep my soul happy, and a pseudo educational centre to retain some kind of connection to the human world. That is my dream job, if you will. But I can’t imagine it happening because I don’t have money to set it up, it wouldn’t be lucrative enough to keep me going, and it wouldn’t set me up for even bare bones retirement as a single, childless woman who has no money, no home and few connections. So I constantly worry about working, my health, what I am going to do as my age increases, what the hell I am going to do given my very serious lack of human connection and financial resources if I run into serious health issues. For the more distant future, I worry about whether I’ll be brave enough or have access to the right resources in order to kill myself in an effective, painless, clean, and straightforward way when the time inevitably comes.
This is the shit I think about more and more with each year as I have become less relevant due to my age and sex. And I’ve come to realize that I worry about this kind of shit because I live in a male-constructed world. And it’s only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve also come to realize that there is absolutely no reason at all why people should live in such an intense state of constant worry and stress. There really is no reason why humans should have stressful lives, shitty jobs and job choices, self-hatred, and distress about how to exist and deal with natural problems. How did we get to a place where so many of the world’s people are so distracted by needless stressors that they fail to experience and enjoy the most basic of life’s pleasures. No other creature constructs a world that is more about pain and horror and stress than humans. And we owe this to the males of our species. I think about this constantly, the more evidence that presents itself. I continually question why men have to create such a shitty craphole of a planet and social system? I say again, there is no reason for humans to be living the way they have done and still do with no end in sight.
Let’s explore this. I honestly think it comes down to values.
I teach a university class on values every semester here in China. Mostly, it is for students to practise thinking and expressing their thoughts in English. Students aren’t required to think in Chinese universities, much to my shock and horror. And it is really difficult to get them to do it. But I do. Now honestly, I don’t really care specifically what they think or what values they hold. Honestly, China is a country of lies and superficiality. Nobody’s words mean diddly shit here. I learned that the hard way. But luckily, I tend to have a sociopath in every one of my classes, and they’ll tell me the truth. The truth that people tend to cover up in order to appear like virtuous people. I do love sociopaths for that very reason. Unless they are actively trying to scam you, they’ll be brutally honest about human nature. And during an ungraded class discussion, they have no reason to fuck with me. So, I have a weird appreciation for them, as a result, provided I completely disconnect from them on a human level. The Chinese sociopaths tell me what’s what. It’s the same reason I prefer right-wing, Christian whack-jobs of all colours in Western societies. Or the average Muslim male, for that matter. They are more honest about how they see people, especially women. There is little subterfuge. They don’t play the games that left-wingers do. No putting on of costumes to hide the wolves within. I’d much prefer a predator reveal himself than to pretend he is something he isn’t. And in this way, left-wing men are much more dangerous than any fundamentalist or traditionalist.
But back to my class on values. Many people robotically tell me that love and family and happiness are the most important things to them. There are also things like truth, freedom, honesty, and stuff like that. To be frank, my eyes glaze over when people start in with the socially acceptable responses. People’s words seldom match their behaviour here. But if you find yourself with a sociopath, you can get down to brass tacks. Last semester, one male sociopath told me that the world is a jungle, so honesty, friendship, and all the touchy-feelie, positive values didn’t matter in the slightest. He brushed aside everything his classmates had said with a nonchalance you only see with those unconcerned with emotion. He laid everything out for me basically. What matters is money and power. Yep. I couldn’t have expressed the male world view better myself. This is the true male viewpoint if you strip away the bullshit. If you listen to the fundamental male truth, you can see easily how the human race has ended up where it has. Males like competition, violence, strife, angst, suffering of others, control, power and the like, and every system they have ever constructed reflects this – from the most carefree recreational activity, such as computer games, to how men construct every kind of human relationship, to how they envision division of labour, economic systems, etc. There is nothing peaceful, loving, equanimous, progressive, forward-thinking or fair about male system designs. Present even a supposedly peace-loving male with true peace and equality, and he gets bored and uncomfortable. If you dig deeper into these humane, humanitarian males, and you’ll find that all of it is conditional. Men may lay out a superficial equality, but in reality, they require that someone be underneath them in some way. They must take or get something from somebody. Even if they oppose war – the ultimate male purpose in life – they will require women to be under them in some way. It’s usually women on the bottom – they don’t count in peace talks.
It is frustrating when you get to a point in your life when you just don’t want to struggle or play the game any more. You see it all. You see that it is all bullshit, and you don’t want to have anything to do with it. Whereas once, you told yourself, “Yeah, I hate men and what they have created, but I have to somehow survive in it. I can ‘make it’ somehow.” – now, you have reached a point where you know things don’t get better when you struggle. You just become depleted and discouraged. You know your limitations well by now, and you know what will happen to you if you try to struggle again. What is the solution for such a wide-awake person? How do you exist outside it? I don’t have an answer for that.
The only thing I know is that men got us to where we find ourselves. We absolutely should not look to them to fix anything. Men are not about solutions. They exist only to superficially justify their pointless existence through the creation of more problems in the name of short-term solutions. A job creation program, in other words. What does that mean for solutions when you feel you’ve reached a point in your life when participating in this poisonous world doesn’t seem possible? I fear that it means individual solutions for individual women. There is no system that supports our creativity. Will there be one day? It is hard to imagine that. Women work on common woman-centred goals less now than ever before, so it is impossible for me to imagine change being effected. But I have fantasy. I can actually imagine a world that works (sans males), where no one is worth more than anyone else, where women aren’t so destroyed inside by a lifetime of misogyny that they can barely function let alone deal with one another productively and respectfully.
Maybe it’s time for me to write fantasy or science fiction. I do see a world out there that doesn’t exist, but that really, really wants to. It lives in my mind…
[This is part of the Year of the Fantasy series.]
How many times has a scrotum told you that he is ‘a visual person’? If you are female and some dude in your life has told you that – sometimes in all seriousness, sometimes with a smirk – he is trying to tell you a truth about himself and his approach to dealing with women. In all likelihood, you are going to choose to ignore that truth all to preserve the illusion that this dude cares about you and about women. Denial is easier after all. The world becomes a different and much more difficult place for women who truly listen to men’s direct and indirect messages about their universal truth. That truth is that despite layers of subterfuge, all men hate women. And once you decide to acknowledge that truth, process it and live your life according to it, shit gets difficult. Better in some ways, but more difficult in others.
The sentence “I am a visual person” actually translates to “I am a pro-rape rapist.” When a male says: “I am a visual person,” it has nothing to do with any special abilities involving his eyes, optic nerve or occipital lobe. It is not ability at all that he is talking about. He is referring to his privilege over you and all women – the privilege having a penis brings him. The context in which said scrotum will issue this pronouncement of visual proclivity or prowess is always one that demands women be placed in a subordinate, rapeable, and consumable position. He uses the phrase to account for abusive behaviour towards you or another woman. He can’t help himself, you see. He is a visual person.
A male is a visual person if he:
- is ogling another woman while you are talking, sitting or doing whatever with him,
- is distracted by another female while you are telling him about something misogynistic you are experiencing,
- sees pornography as an inalienable male right,
- requires that you wear clothing deemed ‘sexy’,
- can’t seem to have any kind of relations with you without visual aids that you don’t understand or feel comfortable with,
- doesn’t believe his bodily movements and behaviour with regard to interacting with women are within his control,
- can’t watch films unless they have female degradation in them, or
- believes that women must wear make-up in all situations
There are tons of examples, but they are repetitive. Being a ‘visual person’ for men basically translates into:
I am male, so my behaviour isn’t within my control and I am wired to hurt women. Women are meant for sex, therefore, I can do and request whatever I want from women without it being a comment on my character. I should not be held responsible for anything I do to women. I need female subordination and degradation to exist. Expression of my sexuality requires that women be degraded. Any attack on my misogynistic behaviour is an attack on my manhood. Besides… women like it, and if you don’t like it, there is something wrong with YOU.
A rape mentality, in other words.
Now here’s the thing. I know all this for a very good reason because I am actually a bona fide visual person. So, I know what it really means to be a visual person. It means:
- I love maps. I can read them easily. I am also really good at directions and recognizing landmarks. I can orient myself easily in a strange place and seldom get lost.
- I love designs and models and have no problem visualizing intention from these.
- I love colour. I associate different colours with emotions, flavours, etc. Colour tells a rich story for me.
- Patterns catch my eye, and I can lose time enjoying their intricacies.
- I often remember events through visual triggers. For example, I’ll remember something that happened 20 years ago first by what someone was wearing or what the sky looked like, rather than what day of the week it was or some other factual information.
- I love all aspects of math that require visual presentations of information. Geometry and visual depictions of data through graphs and tables are all fields of math and mathematical visual aids with which I feel very comfortable
- My spatial abilities are excellent. I am great at packing a car trunk, rearranging a room and imagining how a configuration will impact how something will work.
- I have an excellent imagination and create pictures in my mind to do everything from solving problems to turning a design or pattern into the finished product in my head, etc.
- I am better at recognizing faces than I am at remembering names.
- I am really good at reading body language and facial expressions. Part of this is being the survivor of childhood abuse, but a lot of it comes from being visual and depending on visual cues to understand a situation.
- I can look at a picture and easily create an entire story to explain what is going on. Photographs and paintings have a huge emotional impact on me. It also means that it is hard for me to watch violence because visuals are heavily loaded with emotion.
- I’d rather look at a political cartoon then listen to a political joke.
- I often need to see a word or sentence written down to fully understand what is being said or to discern an oral or grammatical problem.
- I don’t need graphic sexual displays to get the point. As a visual person, subtlety goes a long way. I find that if one needs graphic displays in order to feel something, one probably isn’t a visual person at all.
And on the topic of ‘sex’ or sexuality, being visual is in no way connected with respectfulness or the way one treats another person. Demeaning another person and calling it ‘being visual’ makes no sense. It is simply a standard example of male illogic and a typical way in which men abuse women and call it something else to legitimize and sanitize it. It’s laughable that so many men say women are illogical. The pot calls the stainless steel kettle black.
Given that so many men are ‘visual people’, I’d like to know why most of them don’t gravitate towards careers in the visual arts or janitorial services, or why most men aren’t able to see that a space is filthy or unappealing. If one is oriented towards visual detail, you tend to have clean spaces and pay attention to how you present yourself. Most men couldn’t give a shit about colour or cleanliness or couldn’t comment on the layout of a room to save their lives. That is visual stuff, so you know you’re not dealing with ‘visual people’ when you’re talking to men. Most of these scrotes are just trying to get away with abuse and to tell you a fundamental truth about themselves and how they view you and women in general. And you’d do best to turn tail and escape the abuse that will inevitably follow as you get sucked further into his web of hurt.
To be honest, it only took a month of living in Chinese culture to see how racist and sexist and misanthropic they are. It took a year for them to beat the little joie de vivre that I had out of me. On a visit to the West after that first year, everyone who knew me told me I had changed somehow, but they couldn’t figure out how exactly. More serious, for one. I think they chalked it up to ‘maturity’, when really, years later, I realized that constant racist misogyny had killed part of my naivete and good-naturedness. It was actually after a year of living in Chinese culture, back in 2003, that I became a person who cries easily in public and who learned to stop fighting. I became a little broken. Before that, I don’t think I’d cried in public since I was 5 and was beat up by a group of boys while walking home by myself from Kindergarten. But after that year of relentless Chinese beatings, something in me changed for the worse. I think that old saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is bullshit. The 8 cumulative years I’ve spent living and working among and with the Chinese have not made me ‘stronger’. They’ve made me depressed, angry, suspicious, jaded, and absofuckinglutely disgusted with their culture. In the years since, I’ve examined the concept of culture, and I don’t understand the reverence all cultures receive (except for ‘western culture’, that is). But that is a post for another time. I have a lot to say about culture.
No, I am recording a few thoughts and experiences from a new semester here in China. I have two jobs still. Both teaching jobs. I make so little money teaching university that I started looking for extra work last year. And so a few times a week, I get up at 5:30 am, commute for 1.5-2 hours, spend all day teaching in 100 °F weather with no air conditioning, and then commute another 1.5-2 hours back to arrive home by 8 pm. It’s exhausting. And on top of that, there is dealing with the Chinese system/bureaucracy, and of course, endless racism and misogyny.
Last week, I walked into a brand new class of students only to be greeted by one of the 19-year-old male students with: “Hello, beautiful girl”. I’m 44, I don’t dress like a whore looking for sexual attention, and I also don’t dress or act like a ‘girl’ (which I’ve been criticized for in the past). I was pissed. In a country where teaching commands more respect than most jobs (unless you are a non-Chinese female), this was a serious offense of disrespect. Western men never get this. And Chinese women don’t get this. But it is common for me. I’m white and female, and thus a sexual object AND a dancing monkey that all foreigners are expected to be. Oglable entertainment. My education and experience count for nothing. I’ve never experienced disrespect like that when I’ve taught university in Western countries. And things in my classrooms can get much worse than that – from male as well as female students. On day one, I try to teach my students that respect is a two-way street. They’ll get it from me, but I expect it from them. Most don’t understand this at all. But, you know, respecting women is touchy, and white women are not really women, but objects. So why should they respect me?
There are two of us foreigners at my second job/college. Me: the white whore. And a black Muslim man from Africa (he tells everyone he is from Canada, even though his passport is not Canadian). English isn’t even his first language. I usually speak French to him. I’m sure we both have our super-special experiences at the hands of uber-racist Chinese. I’ve been curious. There are different stereotypes for different races, but some of the treatment manifests in the same way. I will say that there is no way in hell this dude is ever sexually harassed or sexually assaulted like I am. He is male. He probably gets the racist comments and looks and ostracism and fear reactions that I get. But most Chinese are too afraid of blacks to physically try anything against them. I, on the other hand, am deemed to be more assailable. Women are easier to assault, for one. That is a universal truth. But I will bet you my high salary most Chinese won’t sexually assault a black woman. Black women don’t have the ‘whore’ status attached to them that white women do. Sorry, black chicks. You are not sexualized like we are in most places in the world, despite what you say to the contrary. You are wrong. I’m tired of women of colour trying to tell me what I do and don’t experience.
Anyhow, one day, black dude and I were put in direct competition for most hated/feared object. We both won.
After a long, exhausting day at my college, all staff commuting in my general direction boarded the large coach bus (we have three staff buses going to different places) designated for us. Black dude and I ride the same bus. We were both seated near the back, but not together. The bus filled up. Chinese people seldom sit beside non-Chinese unless they absolutely have to. And they will either spill onto you or cringe away from you, depending on the message they want to send. So, seats disappeared, and we found ourselves still sitting alone. Just before the bus left, a Chinese male professor got on the bus. Keep in mind that every single teaching staff member is educated. Many have masters degrees. A few might have more than that. But education does not equal lack of ignorance. So, all the seats at the front were filled, and Chinese dude slowly walked to the back scanning the seats. He noted that there were only two seats left: the one beside the black dude and the one beside me. He started to panic. He didn’t want to sit beside either of us. I mean seriously: a white whore and a black Muslim? What could be worse? Who would YOU choose?????????
The Chinese fuck didn’t know what to do. He was spinning in circles, his face desperate. I made up my mind that I was not going to accommodate his racism. He was going to have to solve the problem himself. And apparently the black dude came to the same conclusion. We stayed in our seats and forced the racist to choose his course of action.
All of a sudden, a Chinese woman – a colleague (yes, all of these shits are my fucking colleagues) shouted out in Chinese to the man panicking in the aisle. She saw another empty seat a few seats ahead. The man very visibly relaxed in distinct relief, and practically ran towards the front of the bus. Phew!!! He could sit beside a Chinese. No foreign germs for him!
I spoke loudly to the bus at large: “You people are racist!” I know a few people understood me (including one of my colleagues in the English department – actually, the bitch who wants to get pregnant so she doesn’t have to deal with the foreign staff anymore. She is the foreign staff liaison, and she fucking hates us.) Nobody said a word. A few laughed. Chinese people don’t believe they are either racist or sexist. Every single one of them makes up excuses to me if I dare to bring up their racism. They call it ‘curiosity’ and have other euphemisms and explanations. But never prejudice. It is bizarre how much they deny their hate, and instead focus on how victimized they feel (standard Communist propaganda keeps this going). The Chinese are the biggest victims compared to everyone else in the world. It is very much like talking to men about their misogyny. Systemic misogyny, according to men, doesn’t exist. Men are always the biggest victims. They hurt so, so much. As do the Chinese (victims of Japan, Hong Kong, the Philippines, the US – everybody!)
So I had my answer. Black men don’t have it worse than me in China, especially since they are not sexually assaulted.
The bus? Just another day in China for me. At least I had a fucking seat to myself, right?
When I was 17, I did my time at McDonald’s. Working at Micky-Dee’s is a right of passage for Canadian teenagers. I stayed for 6 months, and left for another job after a) they raised my shitty pay at the same time that minimum wage went up in my province and called it my ‘scheduled wage increase’ which I was supposed to get after 6 months probation (funny how my ‘raise’ still meant that I made minimum wage…), b) they refused to give me training on other stations than the standard ‘chick position’ of ‘window’ (taking orders inside the restaurant) despite multiple requests, and c) one of my fellow employees terrorized me one night during closing, for which I got in trouble. I came to learn with time and experience that making a fuss when being attacked by a male will always result in you, the female, getting in trouble from others in addition to the trouble resulting from the assault. Always. Always. No one will ever convince me that men are held accountable for terrorizing, hurting, raping or killing women. It’s always a joke, an accident, a mistake, a misunderstanding, and the best one, her fault (she wanted it; I thought she was playing around; I didn’t realize she was serious when she said no/stop; I’ve held a knife to her throat before and she liked it…). Morons. Privileged, violent morons, supported by men and their female cocksuckers.
I think we need to raise the pay of all girls and women of all positions, ages, education levels, and experience. And we need to do this in the name of danger pay. Males have suggested to me before that if workplaces are too dangerous for women, then they should get married and stay at home. Yes, great solution. Really gets at the issue here. The problem is a female one, not a male one. I believe men, not wanting to be shown up by more capable women, deliberately threaten women in workplaces in order to force them back home and under the ‘protection’ of their own personal rapist/slave-owner. It’s quite the scheme.
Well, I like the danger pay idea better. I’m also in favour of the death penalty for all hate crimes against women, but we can start with higher pay. People receive danger pay when their lives are put at risk in the line of duty, and I think as a woman, working with and among men is much more dangerous than say, working on an oil rig. And an oil rig or a polar bear won’t rape you or force you to look over your shoulder every time you come and go! Women are in danger even when they have desk jobs.
So what happened at McDonald’s, that paragon of human rights in action? Well, I was forced to work ‘close’ every weekend. That meant that the restaurant closed to customers late at night, and a handful of staff were left to close down operations and clean the place. I didn’t love late-night duty, but such is the schedule of a part-time female worker. One night, I was on with an aboriginal guy from my high school. I didn’t know him. We worked different stations. We didn’t travel in the same circles at school. And he was scary-weird. My friends were ‘weirdos’, but the harmless kind. This dude had what you could only call ‘crazy eyes’. I’ve never met anyone with quite the same dead, but scary, dark pools that said to me, ‘I want to see your intestines spill from your abdomen while I eat potato chips and masturbate and hum in a high, off-key pitch’. I’d had plenty of bad encounters with boys and men by the age of 17, but I’d never before met and known I was in the presence of a bonafide psychopath. My psychologist father frequently talked about psychopaths at the dinner table, so I knew all about them and realized the truth when I finally met one.
Anyhow, I was doing my thing, trying to finish up my work as quickly as possible, when the aboriginal psychopathic teenager decided he was tired of cleaning and wanted to have some ‘fun’. This fun took the form of a long, sharp knife; crazy, dead eyes; and the pursuit of me around the restaurant.
Have you ever had the misfortune of watching a standard horror movie – you know the ones that provide masturbatory material for males and scare the shit out of females so much that they believe even more deeply that they need a ‘good man’ to protect them from all the psychos out there wanting to rape and kill them? You know, male-designed propaganda that does its job well? Well, there is always a scene in these types of films where the psycho finds the girl, and she runs. And she screams. And the crazy thing is that no matter how much she screams and how fast she runs, the psycho, who is actually just walking in a relaxed, but anticipatory, sort of way, always manages to catch up to her and corner her before killing her in some gruesome way.
Minus the killing part, this is EXACTLY what happened to me. He ‘chased’ me around the restaurant. But I was the one running. He was walking. Dead, crazy eyes pursuing me slowly. He had the butcher knife in his hand. And I screamed. I couldn’t get away. I will never forget the terror for the rest of my life. And feeling completely stunned that this was happening in my workplace of all locations (!?!)
We had a manager on duty. Yeah, we did. Really. And he yelled at me to stop screaming. Did he ask the psychopath to put the knife down and stop terrorizing me? Fuck no! Why would he do that? Women are to blame for everything that happens. They force psychos to pick up knives, to chase them, to do horrible things to them. Men can’t help themselves, you see. Women bring it out in them. Men have no control, and thus must be coddled. Women must be blamed. And the men around these violators will support their pursuits, because deep down inside, all men want to to this kind of shit. Not all go beyond their masturbation over the idea or the actual witnessing of horrors, but THEY ALL SUPPORT the terrorizing and destruction of women and girls. If your special hubby isn’t a rapist, terrorist, woman-beater, whatever, just know that a) he will never do anything to end the male privilege and feeling of superiority that comes out of males terrorizing women, and b) he secretly loves how vulnerable it makes you. When you are vulnerable and scared, it means you need him. When women are empowered and unafraid, they just don’t need men for anything whatsoever. Get it? It is a racket, and all men are in cahoots whether they are the perps or the beneficiaries of the terrorism. No one is innocent. And when you praise your big, strong man for protecting you or for being so big as to not beat you, you reinforce the lie. The lie that women need men.
Anyhow, after getting in trouble that night, after no repercussions for the psycho, after my faux pay raise, and after repeated denial of training to advance my skills and increase my pay, I left for another shitty restaurant job where I was at least allowed to make tips. The aboriginal dude stayed on and was promoted to manager (yes, aboriginal males have privilege and power over ALL women regardless of what myths and lies feel good on your tongue). Can you fucking believe it??? Kudos for the psycho, and another female is forced out of steady employment and establishing some workplace longevity due to fear and discrimination.
Think about how many women leave jobs due to threats from male colleagues, bosses or customers/clients. It’s much more common than we think, yet Human Resources Departments are oblivious to why women’s work histories look different than men’s, even when they have equal or more education. We wonder about all the factors involved in women’s increasingly diminishing pay, especially that of white women (ALL races of men as well as Asian women make more money than white women with the same education these days). We wonder why men tend to stay longer at jobs and have more success in their careers. Men don’t face sex-based threats at work. Ever. Fear is almost never a factor when men choose to leave or change jobs. Men can stay, increase their skills, standing, and pay, while benefiting profusely every time a woman is forced out due to harassment, fear or other sex-based harm/threats. And women can’t cite this kind of thing during interviews as the reason for leaving jobs or for short stays at companies. You won’t get a job if you seem like a trouble-maker. And as I said earlier, women are considered trouble-makers when they voice dissent when they are being terrorized or threatened. The punishment continues long after the actual incidents are over.
Danger pay. I want it. And I want it retroactively for my 30-year work history.
I’d like to report to those feminists who oppose the use of ‘woman’ to refer to adult, human females (supporting instead ‘wimmen’ ‘womon’ or ‘womyn’) that you can give up now. The word woman is falling out of favour in English-speaking countries.
It’s true. Human adult females are increasingly being referred to in film, television, in every day conversation, and even in business names, not as ‘women’, but as long-held slurs designed to denigrate, dehumanize and humiliate them. Women are now regularly called ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’ and ‘cunt’ in everyday situations for little reason at all. This is the new, socially-approved set of labels. Once forbidden on television, it is incredible how often they are bandied about these days. Many television stations will still bleep out offensive words like ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’, but anti-female slurs are seldom censored anymore, even on family-rated programs. I don’t have a television, but I do selectively watch shows coming out of various countries, including the US, Canada, the UK and Australia. North America (the US and sadly, Canada) is the worst, the most woman-hating, by far. Liberalism, out of control. I can’t think of a single show I’ve seen lately, coming out of Canada or the US, where at least one female slur isn’t used each episode.
And these slurs serve a purpose. They have sprung up more frequently to counteract a perceived increase in public female visibility and power with hateful spew and to stir up knee-jerk hatred for and hate speech against women. In fact, women aren’t gaining power. There is increased sexual visibility (which is just one branch of female slavery rather than power). But there is no increase in female power. Repetitive use of female slurs – like with use of repetition in any learning model/scheme – serves to put them into the unconscious and to have them at the ready whenever woman-hate is triggered. For example, a woman speaks, and the word ‘bitch’ pops out of everyone’s mouths. A woman shows strength and people yell ‘cunt’. Clever brainwashing and programming.
The increase in hate speech against women has accompanied the increased graphic, and positively terrifying and true-to-life, violence against women featured as entertainment in TV and film. Interestingly, ethnic and racial slurs have been mostly eradicated from entertainment media. Even in regular every day speech in the West, I can’t remember the last time I heard a racial or ethnic slur. Slurs against white women, yes. Those are increasing. And occasionally blacks railing against, say, Asians, when they are not hating on white women. I remember one intersectional feminist I used to read, before I realized she was anti-woman and anti-white, complaining about some slur against her own ethnic group that I have never, ever, ever, once heard used in public. Even as a child. Or on TV. But female slurs? On the rise. And on an international level, English-language culture is beginning to export their brand of woman-hatred to every corner of the globe. Even my students here in mainland China are starting to use the word “bitch” with increased regularity. It, and other female slurs, are fast becoming synonymous with ‘woman’. Hell, young Chinese women don’t even call themselves ‘women’. They are girls or bitches now. Never ‘women’ – never adult human females.
It is disturbing and fucking scary. It is never long before an increase in hate speech is accompanied by an increase in hate crimes. But in this world, there is no such thing as acknowledged hate speech or hate crimes against women. Racial, religious and ethnic groups, yes. But women are the soiled tissues of the human race. Disposable and nothing worth thinking twice about. And women are embracing this self-hatred and hatred of other women en masse. In the name of ‘female liberation’ as defined by men. Yep, fucking scary.
I like to help the average idiot see crimes and wrongs against women through the creation of racial/ethnic equivalencies. People can’t seem to wrap their lazy brain cells around why slurring women = hurting women = bad. And why words are weapons precisely because they have the power to change perceptions and segue into entrenched changes in thinking, law, actions, and violence. Always violence.
Today, I’m talking about legitimizing slurs through business operations. Let me start by describing the sitch with a few examples.
Only in a male-dominated world can a business register and use a misogynist slur in a legally operating business name. And I’m not talking about businesses that peddle rape and sexual slavery (e.g., tittie bars, strip clubs, or rape-film-porn companies). I’m talking about restaurants. Non-nudity-focused restaurants that cater to day-time, clothed persons of all ages (including children). Restaurants are starting to use anti-woman slurs to sell their nosh.
I don’t understand how people can see and accept a restaurant name using a female slur or plan a name for their business that incorporates a female slur. But it happens and people seem to love it. Let’s look at a few popular examples.
Eggslut. In Los Angeles, I was disturbed to see a restaurant with a huge line-up with the prominently-displayed business name, “Eggslut“. What the fuck is an ‘eggslut’? Someone who likes to fuck as many egg dishes as possible? Well no. We go to the founder of the restaurant to explain this Asian-derived slur. He is Asian, after all. The restaurant was started by misogynist ‘Filipenis’, Alvin Cailan. We all know what a ‘slut’ is. And an ‘eggslut’ is a derogatory term typically used to refer to a female who likes white males that are really into Asian culture. Still, the use of the slur is confusing. Why would a Filipino asshole choose to name his cookery after this female slur? I have no fucking clue. Is he trying to show that he is as good as a white dude, and like white dudes, he can hate all women, laugh in our faces and get away with hate speech against us? Possibly. I do know that woman-hate is catchy and brings in money. Always. But it just seems so strange to pair a misogynist slur with food. Not delicious-sounding. At all. I somehow resisted patronizing the restaurant, choosing to girlcott the place instead of spend my hard-earned money on misogyny. It blows my mind that women online write about this place, doing a review of the food, and saying something like “It is a sexist name, but I decided to try it anyway.” Cocksuckers, all of them, especially since they know it is hatred, but still patronize the place, thus legitimizing woman-hate, and giving it the cunt-stamp of approval. Dominant male culture tries to shove the idea of ‘don’t be so sensitive’ down women’s throats, and a lot of women think they are cool if they can take misogynist abuse and not react to it. They score points with men if they can join in on the woman-hating fun. After all, if you complain about disrespect and hate crimes, you are a bitch… And weak.
I’d actually prefer to rename his racist, misogynist eatery “The Buk Buk Breakfasterie’ to see what happens. Buk buk is not a standard racial slur against Filipinos known by most Westerners, but it is miles better than any inappropriate reference to women. I’m sure liberals would be up in arms if a Filipino slur were used in place of a female slur, however.
Biscuit Bitch. You expect misogynist slurs from men. Men are stupid and predictable that way. But when women use woman-hatred to make money, you really have to wonder whether they are sociopaths or just really, really damaged, self-hating people or even misogynist abusers, themselves. And Kimmie Spice is one of these pathetic losers. Setting up camp in Seattle, self-proclaimed ‘head bitch’, Kimmie, serves up misogyny and southern cuisine with a sarcastic smirk (I’m guessing from what she has said about herself) at her downtown establishment: Biscuit Bitch. And it appears to be another hit, as all woman-hating stuff is. Who doesn’t love feeling absolutely free to call a woman something nasty? I’m not sure she understands what ‘bitch’ really means. Anyhow, it’s another restaurant I girlcotted. I much prefer to support women-owned businesses, but I won’t support a cocksucker in her quest to destroy women by espousing the male agenda, ending up being the mouthpiece for the masters themselves.
So I wonder to myself. Given that it is legal to use cuss words aimed at women, will we soon be seeing “Cookie Cunt” or “Hibachi Whore”or do they already exist in some form or another? I wouldn’t be surprised if they already did, to be honest.
And just to put things in perspective. Know that the following would likely not be allowed because all groups – of which men are members – are PROTECTED. Imagine patronizing the following businesses:
The Chow Mein Chink – serving chow mein, fried rice and more! I cookey, you likey!
Needlepoint Nigger – for your sewing and arts and crafts needs! We specialize in DIY gun holsters!
Kitchenware Kike – high quality cookware at low prices! Cook like a pro! Spend like a Jew!
Mussie Milk Bar – Ice cream. The halal way! No milk from pigs here!
Wetback Warehouse – legally imported goods at seemingly illegal prices!
Trannie Dogs – You’ll like our gourmet hotdogs, goddammit, or you can lift my skirt and suck my lady-cock!
People will line up to support a restaurant that slurs women. But how long would it take for “The Needlepoint Nigger” to be firebombed?
I mean, can you see? Can you understand? Do you see how woman-hate has infiltrated every nook and cranny of society such that it is accepted and even embraced? If you can’t see, even with it laid out before you, then there really is no hope at all.
Stuck in my mind is a moment in time, a fragment of space, from my recent visit to Seattle. In one tiny slice of time and place that spoke volumes about society at large. And it all happened on a street corner in the downtown core, and if one was paying attention, one might spend some time wondering about the nature of racism and misogyny. But most people don’t pay attention, and things go on as they do, in perpetual violence.
I approached a street corner one afternoon. There was a tall, belligerent-looking black dude on the corner. He began shouting at a short, middle-aged Chinese man. I saw exactly what was going on. It was a Chinese tourist. How did I know? Well, said Chinese dude was acting, not like a Westernized Chinese, but like every Chinese dude acts in China when face-to-face with a non-Chinese. He stopped and was staring rudely, mouth open, disgust and horror on his face. It is a look and behaviour that mainland Chinese call “curiosity”. I know the look well because I get it from tens, hundreds, and thousands (depending on how long I am in public) every single time I set foot outside my apartment as a walking, talking white whore living in China. But the black dude couldn’t handle it – this one, lone, ignorant Chinese fucker got under his angry skin. On a level, I get it. I fucking HATE the way Chinese stare at me. In the US and the semi-civilized West, in general, staring is rude. Staring at someone without a hello or some sort of verbal engagement that expresses one’s intentions is immediate cause for suspicion, fear (for women), anger, and if done to a man, can often lead to a physical altercation. But the Chinese make staring into another thing altogether – although they believe in masking emotion, they have no problem expressing naked hatred, horror and disgust on their faces. The Chinese are one of the most racist groups on earth, so this particular Chinese tourist didn’t think twice about engaging in a typical Chinese behaviour used against non-Chinese while in China where he is used to having the upper hand. Welcome to America, though. The black dude, confronted by a racist Chinese, retaliated with his racism. Blacks are also racists, and their brand of racism often manifests in loudness, belligerence and violence. He yelled, “What the fuck you lookin’ at, Chinaman?!? Chinatown is that way!” And he pointed south, which indeed, was where Chinatown was located. The Chinese racist was lucky that the black racist didn’t knock him flat on his ass. I moved on before getting stuck in the action. I just don’t give a shit what men do to each other and I hate it when women get caught in the middle.
But I thought about inviting that black dude to China where he could learn what real racism was. He would see how good his life is in the US. Where his growing power and violence and outrage (at comparatively little) and his privilege over all women are supported by liberal whites and violent, racist movements like Black Lives Matter. I’d like to invite him to China where, like me, he would truly have no voice, where every single person would stare at him, point at him, talk about him in front of him, and ostracize him, and where his life and/or death wouldn’t matter one bit. He wouldn’t make it. If he can’t handle one racist Chinese dude on his home turf, then he wouldn’t make it in a racist country where he is all alone battling shit like this every moment of every day. I know one black dude over here who refuses to take public transit, opting instead for taxis and Ubers. Coward. And no, he doesn’t have it worse than me. He has friends from his own country and religion to support him as a buffer. He is a male. I am alone and a woman and I battle the ‘white whore’ stereotype, and thus I am in more danger than him. But I take public transit. I’m harassed by men constantly, and women treat me like shit. It is racist sexism. It hurts me and scares me deeply. I deal by putting on the emotional armour I have crafted through a lifetime of sexual assault and sexual harassment and through years of Chinese racist misogyny. I put on the armour and the rage wells up in me to keep me moving quickly, and that protects me a little. So black dude? Come on over and learn what real racism is about.
Back to the corner. Shit didn’t end there. I avoided that inter-racial confrontation and moved on to the corner to cross the road. Steps away, I was aware of a landmark strip club selling female flesh. Thousands walk by it every day. Hundreds of men visit every day engaging in what they will loudly proclaim is their right. Their right to objectify female bodies. Their capitalist right to pay desperate women to take their clothes off along with their human dignity. Stripping: something women would never think of doing if men did not exist or if men hadn’t created an economic system that benefits men and puts women in positions where they have to shed their humanity in order to eat or ‘have a better life’. A system where there is no equivalent dehumanizing, disempowering requirement for men. Selling women is a legitimate part of human life. I walk by these places and they fulfill their ultimate purpose: to remind me that I am less. To remind me that I can never be free. To remind me that woman is simply a collection of CUNT, TITS, and ASS. No more, no less. To remind me that men can turn whatever evil desire they have into a sanctioned need and right, no matter whom it hurts or how many it hurts. A male itch must be scratched, no matter the cost.
At the street corner, I and several women were forced to stop and wait for the long light to change to green. At that corner sat a black man. Probably homeless. He had a sign.
Will eat pussy for a place to sleep.
I’d not seen a sign like that before. Western homeless men, unlike homeless men around the world, are becoming more creative in their ploys. It’s a competitive market. In the male economic system, poverty is on the rise. Men, being lazier than women, tend to hang out in public begging. Being homeless is much more dangerous for women, and I suspect that women engage in a number of behaviours in order to avoid being conspicuous public targets. I don’t tend to see homeless women with signs offering weird services or making amusing and direct demands for money (e.g., please donate to my weed habit).
So coming upon a man offering to perform a selfless sexual act upon a woman was strange. I think it was supposed to be funny. It wasn’t. Unlike a woman offering a blow job, men offering a sex act is threatening. That is a hard thing for men (and many brainwashed women) to understand. Men are not victims of sex crimes by women, generally speaking. Women are. Men also define sex and direct the course of sexual activity. There isn’t a single man on earth who offers a carpet munch without taking something in exchange from a woman. Doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as a fair exchange, let alone a selfless act when it comes to male behaviour. The offer of a sex act *just for a place to sleep* doesn’t ring true to me and came across as a promise/threat of other things. A woman offering a blow job for a place to sleep is likely going to get raped, beaten or killed afterwards. The man offering pussy-eating will likely take more than he is offering.
A few of the middle-aged women on the corner chuckled nervously. I was disgusted and afraid. And the fact that he was parked so near to the female flesh-selling strip club just served to hammer home who exactly held the power. Even a homeless man holds power over a non-homeless woman.
It was just a moment in time on a small spot of real estate, but there was generalization in this diorama. It spoke of universal truths. Men and racism; men and misogyny. Who holds the power. What dynamics the world at large is willing to pay attention to. I suspect, among the American population witnessing that scene, that all people would have seen were sympathy-deserving black men in need of understanding and help. But in reality, what was going on was male power play. The complicated racism that exists between men that derives from woman hate (controlling access to the pussy of one’s own race). And the truth that all men hold power over all women regardless of race and economic station.
I discuss the realities of oppression and how it works in an earlier article.
Well, I guess I’m not gone for good. As I said, the story never ends. Sometimes, you need to take a break from it, though, and focus on other things. And focusing on other things I am. On mathematics. My story – the story – still goes on, however. I’ve been back in China for almost three weeks, and I’ve been been physically attacked by men twice already – one on my own small university campus – and I went through a terrifying racially-sexually motivated harassment episode by some drunk Chinese men on the subway who didn’t like the fact that my student was speaking English to me in a country where only Chinese is supposed to be spoken. Sigh. No, the story never ends…
But today, I’m talking about something other than Chinese racist misogyny.
So, I’m concentrating on brushing up on over 20 years of mathematics education for personal reasons, and I’m using some relatively good sites that serve my purpose well. One of the sites, in particular, has made sure to include female and non-Western names in the word problems. But still, the site is run by men, so while they can easily address racism issues, cuz all men can get on board with anti-racism, they still can’t get the anti-misogyny quite right. They still refer to many of the female characters as “Miss” and “Mrs.”. And I sent in a complaint with a very clear explanation of why these titles need to be removed from the material and be replaced with “Ms.” or “Dr.” depending on the circumstances.
I know, I know. No big fucking deal, right? I’m just a bitchy, hairly-legged, lesbian feminist cunt who is nit-picking details that don’t really matter because she can’t get a man to fuck her. Or something like that.
Wrong, bucko. And I’ll frame this issue in terms that people will understand easily and take seriously. Racism. People take racism very seriously (unless it is racism against whites, particularly white women). So let me offend your liberal sensibilities so that you can understand why marital titles for women are a big goddamned problem (STILL!!!) and need to be addressed like yesterday.
So imagine that all your math questions, when they refer to a black person, designate them either ‘house slaves’ or ‘field slaves’. There was no other possible job for them. After all, as we all know, blacks are only good for slavery. We saw that proved through a few years of slavery in the US, initiated by Europeans (especially the British) and embraced by black African race traitors/traders, and by American southern owners of plantations. So knowing this tradition and how effective it was in keeping social order and contributing to capitalism and southern wealth and PROGRESS (don’t forget progress), why should we bother changing anything in say, math questions? And also, keep in mind that during that particular period of slavery, black slaves took their designations and adopted families seriously. Being a house nigger was a source of pride and led to greater perks than if you just worked as a field nigger. And belonging to a prominent house/family, raised them up in the world too.
By now, your skin is probably crawling, and you’re probably denouncing me as some sort of race supremacist. And of course, I’m laughing to myself, because nothing could be further from the truth. If your back is up, then part of my job is done. Now for part two, which will be much, much harder for you to get because you, along with the entire world, hate women whether you realize it or not.
My point is that like black slavery, women have been enslaved, but with a few significant differences. First, female slavery is a much more serious and entrenched problem than any racial slavery ever has been. Without female slavery, the international system as we know it would collapse completely. You see, women have always been enslaved. Women were the first slaves, and they were (are) enslaved on the basis of their chromosomes, genitalia and biological capabilities (aka SEX). Men have only been able to accomplish what they have by stealing the intellectual, physical, sexual, and emotional services and energies of women through slavery and the ubiquitous threat of violence. The other major difference between racial slavery and female slavery is that the latter is the only form of slavery that is not only still accepted, but completely, 100% legal. To this day. Marriage, prostitution, exotic dancing, and everything that exists when sexual slavery is condoned are encouraged by ALL societies, and dog help you if you don’t comply. The above board female slavery system (aka ‘marriage’) is alive and well, with a whole commercial industry supporting it, and we still use the titles associated with this slavery. The ‘house nigger’ for females is the “Mrs.” – she holds a higher place in society than any other group of women, and although a slave whose cunt is owned by one man (unless you belong to a polygamous cult) and who can be legally raped by one man (her husband), has more social, legal, and often, economic, perks than does a single woman. The single woman – the ‘field nigger’ – is “Miss”. By her title, we know that all men can have access to her body any time they wish. When unmarried, she has no protection from a single master, unless she is young and lives in her father’s house, and any man can rape her with few to no repercussions. Although remember, like black female slaves were often raped by their male owners, girls today can be raped by their fathers. So what does ‘protection’ even mean??? Anyhow… most married women, like the proud house niggers of days of old, hold their title and predicament as a source of pride and status. Most hold the slave name (family name) of their masters, just like owned blacks did. And some women even say that they have an ‘M.R.S.’ degree (I still remember the gloating look on my uneducated mother’s face when she told me about her ‘degree’).
Note that there isn’t a single person out there who would shame or destroy a black person for decrying the period of black slavery as one of the most shameful periods in American history. Not so for women who denounce marriage, prostitution or any form of female slavery. It is not allowed. Women are still, as Yoko Ono once said, “the niggers of the world”. I would add that they were the original niggers, though.
I know I’m talking to a brick wall for the most part when I talk about why getting rid of marriage, slave designations/titles, and female sexual slavery are so important. I know that most people relegate me and uppity women like me to the category of crazy, feminazi bitches when we draw attention to parallels between racial injustices of the past and currently embraced injustices against women. I’m sure the anal canal is a comfortable, warm, tight, safe space in which to nestle one’s noggin, but keep in mind that the only thing that truly belongs there is shit making its way out of your body. But ‘head-in-ass’ disease is very common these days.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, there has been no response by the MALE writers at my math site in response to ending the endorsement of female slavery in their materials despite me having graduate education and work experience in test construction and question writing, as well as related experience in research showing the effects of sex stereotyping in content and pre-test-sitting instructions for female testees 😉 (Guess what? telling female test-takers that women are shit before they take a test leads to lower test scores for them, even when they are top of the class and excellent test-takers…) But, what the hell do I know about the effect of target content on special populations of test-takers, right…?
It makes me sad, but I really, truly get it when women tell me that they don’t trust or are even afraid of other women. Some people assume that feminists believe that women can do no wrong. No. Not true. There are some horrible, evil female persons out there. You don’t have to fear them in the way that we must all fear men (if we want to stay alive and unraped, that is). But there is a minority of women who are not only damaged like most of us, but who inflict abuse upon us for a variety of reasons. Unlike some feminists, I hold these women accountable for the damage they do. There is no good excuse for aggression and dealing out undeserved harm.
Let me start by saying that the two weeks I’ve had in the U.S. have, until about an hour ago, been fabulous. I have had almost no interaction with men despite not being secluded at a women’s retreat. Refusing all eye contact and not addressing or responding to males has mostly worked this magic. The women I have met have been entertaining, to engaging, to admirable. I’ve made one friend with whom I’ll keep in touch. And I made a last-minute decision to cross the country to visit an old friend and professor for a too-short, but extremely productive and healthy visit. Thanks to that visit and our mini professional ‘girls’ club’, I have some irons in the fire regarding my escape-from-China endeavour. I have the makings of a gameplan.
I’ve been staying in youth hostels, which I generally don’t love as the experience is not what it once was, and I like dormitories and sharing space with strangers less and less as the years go by, but as I said, I’ve have strangely met a lot of interesting women. It really is not always the case.
But now I’m in D.C. where I’m reminded of why I don’t really like the northeastern corridor of Canada (Quebec and Ontario) and the U.S. (D.C. and points north). People are aggressive, sometimes offensive, and somewhat cold. Not in the Chinese way. This is different. I grew up in it, and it has rubbed me the wrong way ever since I left long ago and have occasionally returned to for visits. I much prefer the West Coast. But that is not something I’ll get into now.
Just an hour ago, while engaged in an interesting conversation with a woman from Colombia, a woman from New York about ten years older than me lumbered into our room and proceeded to take up space. Physical space, verbal space, and psychological space. She immediately dominated the conversation, things turned negative, and she pulled a few details from me about my work in China and some of my bad experiences. Normally, women, myself included, will listen to these stories and commiserate or ask more questions. This woman started getting disgusted with me, my choices, my life, and most of all, my inability and unwillingness to drop everything and become once again unemployed and homeless in Canada with no plan in the works or support networks. I literally have no support in Canada anymore. She didn’t know me or my future plans. Didn’t want to know. And then rolled her eyes at me saying “I hear abused women talk about their plans all the time. Then they end up dead.” Then she refused to talk to me anymore, made everything uncomfortable, and shot me dirty looks. I felt upset, and my first impulse was to flee. I was feeling abused BY HER. I made the decision to ask to change rooms. They were extremely helpful in getting me swiftly out of that room.
Once away from my abuser, I found myself extremely emotional and tried to unpack my feelings. Why was I reacting so strongly? Was it weakness that forced me to flee the room? I felt a little afraid of her, to be honest, and I knew I’d have had two sleepless nights if I’d stayed where I was. And I had paid a lot of money. Hostels have been tainted by capitalism, just like everything else good in the world, and they are no longer truly the budget accommodation they once were. Sleep and safety were paramount, so to get out of an uncomfortable, at best, violent, at worst, situation was not unreasonable.
Well, it was simple to explain my emotionality following having that woman forced upon me. I was badly psychologically abused by my mother and grandmother for 20 years. As a result of that abuse and likely because of my personality and vibe, I have also always been a magnet for domineering, bullying women. I always end up escaping once they target me. So, I have a healthy and perfectly justifiable and reasonable fear of older, domineering, energy-sucking, narcissistic women. They find me, and I am exceptionally vulnerable and attractive to them thanks to the damage done by the childhood abuse and my Mommy Dearest. Abusers are exceptionally good at finding the right kind of prey. I don’t yet have the tools necessary to deal with these kinds of women. I only have a flight response. Luckily, it still works.
The other issue here was that abusive though this woman was, she spoke a truth about me that I hadn’t allowed myself to accept because it is painful. She literally called me an ‘abused woman’. I had never thought of myself that way before, and it hurt and scared me. Why? It’s complicated. I had a similar experience when a friend years ago – surprisingly a bleeding heart leftie – told me that I was experiencing racism when I lived in Taiwan. It hadn’t occurred to me. White women are told over and over how privileged and racist THEY are, and that they deserve everything that happens to them. We twist all the horrible things that happen to us into some kind of deserved punishment rather than a crime. Absolutely everyone on the planet is worse off than a white woman. I’ve heard white rape victims negate their experiences – and I too have been one of those in-denial white rape victims – shrugging the horrors they’ve experienced off because “other people have it worse”. (This is also called “white female traveller syndrome” – where white women travelling alone who end up raped or assaulted during their journey refuse to acknowledge it because they think they are complaining/overreacting, or think they deserve what happened because they are ‘privileged’.)
So when this NY abuser likened me to an abused woman, I realized it was true even though I’m abused by multiple people rather than a single domestic abuser. The Chinese have treated me like absolute shit. They’ve locked me in my housing at night. They’ve refused to pay me sometimes. They’ve changed my contract without my agreement or knowledge. They’ve signed my name to legal documents without my permission. They’ve hit me, sexually assaulted me, called me horrible things – males AND FEMALES. And my will to escape and better my life has waned as I have become accustomed to the poor treatment. I’m scared to be unemployed at my age as a woman. It is hard, as an outsider, to understand why women stay in abusive situations. I have never accepted abuse from a man – I leave immediately. But the racism and sexism in employment and in foreign cultures is something I’ve not allowed or trained myself to reject or flee.
So, it’s not domestic abuse, but I am an abused woman. And acknowledging that and having someone else, a stranger, acknowledge that and label me and then abuse me for it, crushed me a little. And I fled. That abuser was easier to flee.
Now, this woman had the gall to call herself a feminist before launching her attack on me. She wasn’t. She was a misogynist. Feminists don’t abuse other women. They listen. Sometimes they help when appropriate, but mostly, they listen and empathize. Feminists should be critical of how women support Patriarchy. And we can lay responsibility on women when they hurt other women. Of course. But this nasty asshole didn’t know anything about me or my life or what steps I have already taken to get myself out of a complicated situation. My kind of situation is not acknowledged as a problem. So I am alone and must solve things by myself. She called me an abused woman, but unlike for domestic abuse victims, there is no police system that will punish China for hurting me. There is no shelter/accommodation for abused female ex-pat workers where I can escape to if I give up my job and home and find myself on the streets.
Long story short, I may not yet have been able to escape my complicated abuse situation in China, but I sure as hell made sure to escape that abusive woman moments after she showed her true face to me. I promised myself when I swore off men that never again would I sleep with the enemy, but unfortunately, sometimes the enemy doesn’t wear a penis.
I’ve just spent the last week in Seattle. It’s not like China. No kidding. Bus drivers say ‘Hello’ and ‘Thank you’, people are fairly friendly, I’ve had more pleasant interaction with strangers in one week than I get in a whole year in China. And it is not a million degrees with a million percent humidity. But at the same time, I’ve been in close proximity to six trannie males (men in dresses) that I was aware of – all young, all white or Latino and all hideous and not even close to passing. Two of them stood in the middle of the sidewalk and refused to budge as I tried to get by. I was worried about the sleeping quarters policy for the dormitories in the budget accommodations where I was staying. Do they let these she-males sleep in the female-only dorms, forcing terrified and rationally thinking, travelling women from around the world to submit to male sexual fetish? I didn’t ask, and I didn’t see the telltale ‘we’re going to take your rights away’ policy notice that says “We are INCLUSIVE”, but who knows… I refuse to sleep in coed dorms for a reason, and now I have to worry about trannies in female dorms…
I also came dangerously close to a loud street parade protest organized by Black Lives Matter in response to another cop shooting. I’ve opined on the Shooting black males phenomenon before, and I haven’t changed my mind. This recent protest was over-populated with white women – you know, the evil bitches responsible for everything wrong in the world – and black women. Women, fighting for men. As per usual. And I have questions. Why aren’t black women getting shot by police? Maybe because it is black men with guns getting themselves into suspicious criminal circumstances. Black women don’t do that. They are women. So this is a male issue. Men shooting men. Why are women fighting this fight? Why are white women blaming themselves for something men do to men? Because they are trained. Not because they are guilty of anything. Second. Why aren’t crimes against women of all colours taken seriously? Why are there no groups called Women’s Lives Matter? Why don’t men overwhelmingly take to the streets to protest the rape, murder and battery that is far, far, far more common than the killings of five usually armed black men per year? Perhaps because the men would have to take the protest past the rape-strip club outside Pike Place Market, and the protest would ring false. There are no clubs devoted to hurting black men because hurting black men is wrong and illegal, but the rape and strip clubs are a dime a dozen and men, including black men and cops, have built the world on rape and the objectification, enslavement and killing of women. It is a male right to hurt women, and women accept it too. No one will ever stand up for female freedom en masse.
I strongly urge this group to change its name to reflect reality: Black Cocks Matter. Be honest. This movement isn’t about black women. Or black people. The black movement never has been. It’s about men – the right for men to have access to and power over women. Black men won the vote in the US 70 years before ALL women (including white women who were and still are slaves), and America welcomed a black male president before a female one (even a white one). Women are still, after decades and decades, trying to get protection under the US constitution and recognized civil rights. Black men and black women who identify more as black than woman have those protections. Don’t kid yourselves. As much as everyone is convinced black men have it so rough, know that they still have more rights, political power and earning potential than ALL women, including the hated white woman. Only Asian women out-earn black men consistently when matched for education. All men, including black men and Latino men, as well as Asian women out-earn this mythic powerful creature, the white woman, when we look at matched education and full-time work. So when you fight white women, you are fighting a marginalized group that is low on the totem pole of political, economic and legal power. Black Cocks Matter. Women, not so much.
I’d really like to see women put as much effort into saving and supporting women as they do into sucking privileged cock. Some white feminist recently suggested that black women have such a hard time deciding between ‘identifying’ with race or with sex. Waaaaah. Poor, poor things. Sorry, I don’t have much sympathy there. They can do what they want, of course, and for the most part they ditch women to protect cock. I mean, who wouldn’t choose rapists over sisters… But sarcasm aside, I don’t get it. I’ve spent years living in daily racism, but I’ll choose to side with women of the race that oppresses me over cock of my race any day. Women don’t oppress. Men do. And when you destroy sexism, you destroy all the the other oppressions, as woman hate is at the root of everything, including, and especially, racism. Female bonding is the thing men try their best to destroy as strength does come with greater numbers and knowledge and the desire for justice. But that is just too hard a concept for most people to grasp, apparently.
It was Germaine Greer who said, and I paraphrase, that it is women who teach and men who ‘train’. I thought the statement interesting and did a little reflection on what it meant and whether it might be true. Teaching, at least from my perspective as one who has taught on and off for over 21 years, is a symbiotic relationship. The teacher is a guide, whose role and scope depends completely on the student or students under her responsibility. The students depend on the tools, information and guidance given by the teacher and use it to grow and learn. Despite the interdependence, it is also a power relationship. The teacher does indeed have more power than the student(s), and the level and shape of that power depends on the age and sex of the students and the sex of the teacher.
What does it mean that ‘men train’? Well, training is completely rooted in a power imbalance. The trainer shapes (even forces) the mind and behaviour of the trainee into the desired form. The trainer is not expected to learn from the trainee. When I think of male teachers that I’ve had, this sounds familiar, with the often added component that that male ‘teacher’ or trainer takes from the trainee and gives little in return. The training or controlling mentality is natural for men. For the most part, higher education is based on this model. But it is applied differently to male and female teachers.
And indeed, when you look at expectations that institutions and students have for male and female teachers, women are given harsher standards. Women are expected to give, nurture, understand, coddle, and be compassionate as well as be knowledgeable. Oh, and they are very much expected to be fuckable or beautiful to have any kind of legitimacy as a teacher. Age is a weird thing for women. If you are young, you are not taken seriously (especially at a university), but there is a magical, unknown point where you are deemed too old to be taken seriously too. Men are expected to be cold, distant, sometimes charismatic or humourous. Attractive? Not required. Because what does attractiveness have to do with imparting knowledge? None! Age? Ditto. Doesn’t matter. If a dude teacher walks in, lectures at students, doles out punishment, and then leaves, he is doing his duty as a ‘teacher’. Same behaviour from a female teacher, and she gets called a ‘bitch’ (the misogynist equivalent of ‘nigger’ or ‘kike’, except that the latter are verboten and taken seriously as slurs, and can get you into serious trouble if you say them). Personally, I like strict teachers who tailor their instruction to the student(s). I don’t want to be coddled. I don’t want a friend. But I want a flexible teacher who will change the game plan if she sees that something isn’t working and who doesn’t believe in one-size-fits-all lessons. I certainly don’t want to have a sexual relationship with a teacher. But males, whether teachers or students, seem to have very blurred lines when it comes to what is acceptable.
And that brings us to the one added component that we often see in male ‘teachers’. There is frequent abuse and sexual abuse of female students. It happens in all countries at all levels of education. All men benefit from rape. Some men rape. All rapists are men. Some teachers are men. Therefore, some male teachers will be rapists, and all males – teachers, students and the general public – will benefit from female terror in the classroom. And the data show this. Many men see rape as a ‘training tool’ or a job perk, and indeed even in these modern times, women have been trained by rape and the fear of rape to fall in line and allow men to continue to wreak havoc on the world and gain unfair advantages in the classroom and workplace. I am against having men in the helping professions, because a) the helping professions (teaching, medicine, law enforcement, etc) are based on power imbalances by definition, and b) men seek out and abuse power relationships by definition. The only way you can minimize abuse in relationships where power abuse is possible is to disallow those who are most likely to abuse that power to have access to it. To do otherwise is to invite heaps of trouble, and we see that this is true every day, everywhere.
All of this is prompted by another real world example of stuff girls and women deal with every single day. Today, I was talking to a former student of mine from about 5 years ago. He asked me if I’d heard the news about our former college. I said I hadn’t. Honestly, I don’t like to think about my former employer. It was a horrible place where I was locked into my staff accommodation at night (photo in this post), and a lot of other horrible stuff happened that badly hurt me physically, psychologically, and financially. It was such a bad place to work that they have to fire all the foreign staff every couple of years in order to bring on a fresh, naive batch to abuse. They cleaned house the year I finished there and relocated for a better job. Anyhow, my student told me that the college made the news recently. Graduation just happened, and a female student returned to the college to receive her diploma. One of her male teachers refused to sign off on her graduation unless she let him rape her. LUCKILY, she complained or told the right person. Shockingly, they took her seriously, and fired that ‘teacher’ (trainer/rapist). Rape is not talked about very much in China, and I’m guessing it is even more poorly reported than it is in ‘free’ countries where women are more vocal, but are still very much unequal and enslaved. As it is, we female students around the world must put up with all sorts of weird male teacher abuse, sexual or otherwise. Myself, the best letter of reference I got as an undergraduate was from a male professor who enjoyed frequently squeezing and pinching my upper arms so hard it left bruises. Did I say anything? No. I needed that letter of reference. And he was my only ally against another male professor who tried to fail me on my senior thesis and who psychologically abused me for two years. Couldn’t say anything about him either – he was an untouchable full tenured professor. And I was dependent on him for my part-time job (I solely supported myself) and my final grade. I guess I should be thankful none of them tried to rape me. It was only physical and psychological abuse. And guess what? No male students had to go through that. I laugh when males try to tell me how hard their lives are… Try living as an object aspiring to be human and see how much fun you have…
So, I wonder about two things.
- How often do male teachers actually rape (forced rape, coerced rape, etc) female students? It is much harder for girls and women to report or rationalize reporting assault when it is committed by someone they know and/or someone with very clear and socially/legally accepted power over them. My guess is that it happens all the time, and it is often reframed by the teacher-rapist, the student-victim, and by society at large as a ‘relationship’, a ‘mistake’ made by the student, a misinterpretation, one of those ‘that’s life’ events that seem to always happen to girls and women, or it just didn’t happen.
- How sensationalized and overblown is female teacher abuse of male students? It is a rare thing indeed and gets more play than any male crime ever would. So rare, they make documentaries on the same few deranged female teachers. Keep in mind two things:
a) women who abuse power should be punished (and yes, women abuse power too – one of my current excellent female students in China is physically KICKED and yelled at by a female professor every time she is forced to meet with her), and
b) women cannot, by definition, be rapists; and males, by definition, cannot be raped. The language has been deliberately confused by liberals in order to downplay what men do constantly to women and to falsely play males as victims. New language should be created by women to accurately define crimes.
Suffice it to say though that virtually all sex crimes are perpetrated by men, and the vast majority of sex crimes are forced on female victims. Given these overwhelming data – you’d be stupid to argue anything else – it is in the best interest of the entire population to keep men out of the helping professions and any professions where abuse of power (male against female) is dangerously possible, and dog help me, oh so very tempting. We (not I) argue that men have brains so they can both control their behaviour and learn from their mistakes. But they don’t. They don’t because they aren’t forced to. And men won’t change unless they are forced to. There is no better nature to appeal to. We’ve been waiting thousands of years for this better nature to magically appear. Keep men away from tempting power abuse situations with females. Female health and safety are more important than hurt male feelings. Any day. One day, I’ll talk more about false positives and why they don’t matter when it comes to female health and safety. For now, for all of you out there saying “Not all men…” or “That’s not fair to men…”, how about the current sitch, where we already operate on these get out of jail free philosophies? We already operate on the “Not all men” principle. It doesn’t work. And what do you say to all of us who have been abused by men in the helping professions? You negate my (your mother’s, your sister’s, your daughter’s, your) right to safety and living free from threats and fear when you give men the benefit of the doubt. That’s not fair to women and girls. It’s not okay to take away from us in order to let men do as they wish.
[This post is part of the Wolves in Women’s Clothing series.]
This may end up being a little long and winding, but I’ll get to my point eventually.
The Chinese see it as a point of pride that they are ready, willing and able to accept any amount of abuse heaped on them, especially if they are doing it in the name of nationalism or some other male-defined in-group/out-group mechanism. I remember a few years ago, I was just about to sit down with an 18-year-old male I was tutoring, when he responded to some pleasantry I’d made with one of the most bizarre non-sequiturs I’ve encountered. With clear glee, superiority, and enormous nationalist and racial pride, said male told me that the Chinese army was superior to any Western army in history. As an example, he told me about the zeal of the army following Communist dictator and personality cult leader, Mao Ze Dong. They went without shoes and food (and in some parts of the country – although no Chinese will tell you this – were so starved they had to resort to cannibalism) to support the communist fight. In contrast, he cited the Italians (not sure which war he was referring to – WWII?), who refused to fight until they received food from their generals. Clearly, the Chinese were and are superior, according to this arrogant, ignorant boy, because they made the cause greater than their human rights. I had no real response to what he said. He was fucking loonie-toons. A product of Chinese and male brainwashing. The Chinese part being the acceptance of any and all human rights abuse all for the sake of a cause, no matter how fucked up that cause might be. The male part was, of course, the military bullshit. Only men truly fetishize devoting one’s life to killing and raping in the name of honour.
Suppressing my hatred for race supremacists, and focusing on the money I was earning, I moved on with the point of our meeting, which was to prepare this douchebag for a formal English examination that would allow him to take his filthy mind and psychotic ideals and ethics to the West to take advantage of our education and economic systems. His family was rich, his father the head of a university. I didn’t ask him how good ole Chairman Mao would have seen his family’s wealth or his father’s membership in academia. Mao didn’t like the educated or the wealthy (unless it was him or his cronies!) Let’s just say ‘re-education’ in the countryside and wealth repossessed by the Communist party would have been on order for this silly boy and his kin.
Mao is gone, but the idea of not challenging abuses and questionable ethics from on high is deeply ingrained in the Chinese mindset. Don’t get me wrong, if a Chinese doesn’t accept you as superior in some way, they won’t accept abuse or even non-abusive requests for action from you. This is why many of my students (especially the males) refuse to do work in my class or even attend, or why many people refuse to answer my questions in Chinese out in public. I am racially inferior. And I am a woman. They don’t have to give me the slightest respect, and they know what’s what. I have no power in China – economic, political, legal, or of the penis-derived variety (see my Oppressor Triangle to understand how this works). But it is fascinating how little challenge there ever is to the system or even to a Chinese boss. This hierarchy is clear, established and unquestioned. And abuse and illogical and unethical systems proliferate and thrive here. Little ever changes unless it comes from on high.
And so we get to the education system, and something the Chinese absolutely hate. For some reason (I think it is a ‘study and conquer your enemy’ situation), the government decided that English should be part of the curriculum here. Not English as a language or a skill, but as busy work. As something to test. Most students spend at least 10 years studying English. Not English as a useful communication tool, but the study of how to pass multiple choice grammar tests. Indeed, most students finish 10 years of English with no speaking ability and very poor writing ability. Even university English majors can often barely produce a grammatically correct sentence. If they study at all, they spend most of their time memorizing vocabulary and cramming for obscure grammar tests. But no practical usage is encouraged by teachers or carried out by students.
Unfortunately, part of this weird language study protocol involves importing foreigners to teach ‘oral communication’. It is the most bizarre job on the planet and if you take your job seriously, it is disappointing and mind-fucking because you are absolutely set up to fail due to the way education works here. Schools can gain more money and prestige if they hire foreign people, but there is no quest for quality or establishing useful curricula. A lot of (male) wingnuts are hired – those looking to fuck local women (especially their students), drink their faces off, and travel. But a minority of us are actually quite educated, experienced, and give a shit about our work and reputations. Most qualified teachers can’t handle it here because the system isn’t set up for real learning. Like everything in China, it’s all about appearances. Surface. No substance.
Because the system is so poorly set up and so few shits are given by the Chinese about quality of learning, foreign staff are thrown into Kafka nightmare-like work situations with no information, no support, and a hell of a lot of hate and racism surrounding them. Some schools may provide a ‘foreign teacher liaison’ – a Chinese employee at the school whose duty it is to control the foreigners, control the information the foreigners have access to, and deal with their inevitable complaints when they are ostracized or have to deal with inefficiency and illogic. It is never a singular or special position. Usually, it is a teacher in the English department and the lowest male or female on the totem pole who is forced to take on this extra role for no extra pay. It is often seen as a form of punishment, so you can imagine the resentment and poor working environment created by the administration. The local teacher has to take on an extra workload and deal with people who are not truly welcome or supported and who immediately find themselves in a bad environment. And the foreign staff is forced to deal solely with a person who resents them, but who is required to deal with them. Typically, the rest of the local staff in the department, despite being teachers of English and who you would think would want to know more about the culture and language they are teaching and usually have never been exposed to themselves, will never, ever speak to or be friendly to the foreign staff. It is a truly bizarre work environment where words like ‘foreign friend’ get batted around, but are not followed up by cooperative or welcoming ‘friendly’ behaviour. The administration creates an environment where only resentment and racism towards foreign people builds up and festers.
I recently took on a part-time job at a private college that is located in the middle of a construction zone, far from the main city and not really close to anything interesting. This means that they have a nearly impossible time finding foreigners willing to sign contracts with them. I mean, seriously, who the hell wants to live in racist isolation with nothing to do when they could work in a large (too-crowded) vibrant city that is not overly far away? Personally, I’m happy to be there as a part-time worker. The pay is the best I’ve ever made anywhere in China or Taiwan. But I will say, I’d never sign a contract with them and live there full-time. It really is in the middle of nowhere and it takes a few hours just to get into the city from there. There is barely a market available for fresh produce, and otherwise, you are stuck eating at the filthy school canteen or at the few dubious restaurants adjacent to the school.
But they found a few suckers to sign on, and ended up getting screwed recently by an American couple – although it was the male of the couple who ran the whole scam and from what I heard, created constant problems from day one. The couple was new to China and signed a contract with the school. Half-way through the contract, they demanded more money (despite having successfully negotiated a higher salary to begin with when they signed on). Reasonably, the school refused a second pay raise after only four months, so the Americans did a runner in the middle of the night with no notice. They even stole the laptop computer they were borrowing from the school, and left the place mid-semester without two full-time teachers. Then the other American they had working for them decided to leave early using some excuse with no one to cover his classes. And then a third American man who agreed to fill in for the remainder of the semester showed up for one day and then quit. WTF, American men??? Along with me, they hired a part-time, black Muslim man from Africa (not a native English speaker), and now he is busy screwing them, cancelling classes right, left and centre during the past month because he has been starving himself in the name of Allah. Even though the Chinese won’t tolerate Christian stuff, like the rest of the world, they are very rationally and reasonably afraid of Muslims, so they have let this guy run roughshod over them. So apparently, I am the only stable and reliable foreign teacher they have. No needy children bullshit. No psycho spouse bullshit. No religious bullshit. And I’ve been in China long enough to know and expect all the abuse one inevitably encounters working for the Chinese, so I don’t throw hissy fits every two minutes when I am treated like shit. Seriously, I’ve worked in worse places. This place is good compared to many schools.
So we get to my foreign teacher liaison. She uses all the right words: “foreign friends” being chief among them. And she is very careful to cloak her many, many complaints about foreigners in neutral language. But she hates us and she hates working with us. She has told me that she has asked the boss many times to release her from this position. The problem is that she is the only teacher without a Masters degree, so she is stuck. She can be fired easily if she complains. There is an over-abundance of English teachers with Masters degrees, and seriously, the Chinese don’t even need to speak English to teach it, so she is completely replaceable. She is in the middle of a Masters, but can’t seem to get it done. It has been a number of years now, with no end in sight. The racism doesn’t seem to be enough motivation to get it done. Poor thing…
Luckily, she has come up with a solution to deal with her racism and laziness. She has decided that she is going to have a second baby. If she can get herself knocked up, then she will be able to argue that she cannot take on the extra burden of dealing with the hateful, goddamn foreigners. She’ll never have to talk to us again, but she can still make money off our language! And!?! She won’t have to finish her Masters degree!!! Being a Chinese mother is a good deal – if you like that kind of biological slavery, that is. Every Chinese woman has one to two grandparents living with her who do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare. The father/husband does nothing, of course. Like in all countries of the world. But the Chinese wife who works outside the home seldom has to do much beyond playing with the kid and some light household duties. If the old folks get sick, that is another story. But as Chinese women tend to breed young, the grandparents tend not to be that old or sick when they move in and take on household duties, thereby lightening the load. Unfortunately, it is usually the mother-in-law that moves in (rather than the woman’s own mother), and more often than not, she tends to be a nagging and nasty abusive piece of work, thanks to Patriarchy and how it fosters hatred between women.
So, after this woman told me about her awesome racist and lazy motivations for having another baby that the world can’t support, she remembered to quote the standard mantra, like a good brainwashed woman: “Oh, and of course, I love children.” Yeah. Sure you do…
I’m betting money that she’ll be knocked up by the time I return to teach in the new semester and she’ll never speak to me again because it won’t be part of her job. ‘Foreign friend’ my ass…
I truly dislike this culture. Years of racism and misogyny and the isolation I’ve had to endure in this country has changed me for the worse. After so many years here, I am not sure if I could reverse the damage to my psyche, but at this point, I’m used to it, I live with it, and I don’t lie anymore about the fact that I’m only here for employment. I’m not interested in travelling in China and I know enough about the culture to know there isn’t much I like about it. I can separate individuals from the culture at large, and I do have a few friends here who are good people, but generally speaking, the culture fosters things I don’t value in humans. It’s cold and brutal, and people have no shame or hesitation about passing it on. They take abuse if it comes from those deemed superior, and they have no qualms about dishing out abuse or disregarding humanity or human rights if they feel they are superior. I don’t function this way – it goes against my nature and my logic – but I have no choice about being included in the mess if I want to stay employed. I certainly know exactly where I sit in the Chinese hierarchy…
Horrifying or Whorifying? It’s all the same when it comes to teaching the Chinese as a female. Add being white on top of that, and you’ve got the deck stacked against you.
I’ve been teaching on and off for the last 21 years, alternating between gigs in research universities and government policy shops (as well as farming, beekeeping, baking, and hotel housekeeping). Teaching is something I do somewhat well, although it exhausts me more than any job in manual labour ever has. At least with farming, you get strong and healthy along with your fatigue. And you work with plants! Teaching makes you tired, flabby, and fat. And you constantly wonder whether laziness and stupidity have lower limits…
In China, there is a special nuther layer as a woman and as a non-Chinese. There is a special skill that I don’t have that apparently cancels out any skill or talent I might have as a teacher. And it is something that doesn’t apply to men. Of course.
I refuse to wear ‘lady-face’ or as I have come more and more frequently to call it – ‘whore-face’ – because that is, very basically, what women’s fashion signifies: whore status. I refuse to wear the trappings of femininity, all those things that mark me as a usable fuck-object there to be consumed by men (and as a white woman in China, to be consumed by Chinese men AND women). I don’t wear pretty dresses, or any dresses, for that matter. I don’t wear heels. I don’t wear make-up. I don’t wear pretty colours. I don’t wear cutesy shit. Everything is functional, isn’t fussy, and serves to make me feel less exposed or less easily rapeable. If I trip and fall, nobody gets a look at my crotch. No one can use a selfie stick and attached cell phone to take photos up my skirt. No one gets a special view through armholes or necklines as to what lies beneath my clothes. White women are seen as whores that love to be abused. People believe that and treat you accordingly. You can’t hurt the willing, right?
So basically, you know, I wear clothes that (mostly) could be found on any average male out there. I look respectable. My clothes are clean and simple. I dress more formally than many of my students, which makes sense given our roles. But apparently, that doesn’t fly here. My only ‘girly’ thing is that I have really long hair. But that is only because in the past I have donated my hair every few years to cancer wig charities. But I have been rethinking this lately, and will be cutting my hair blessedly short this summer. I don’t want to contribute to the sexist, racist notion that white women can’t be bald. Black women can be bald and accepted, even without cancer, so I think white women shouldn’t have to suffer from public derision for not having hair on their heads. So that’s enough with the long-hair-for-donation bullshit. But I will pay for it socially here in reserved, misogynist China where you seldom see a non-old woman with short hair. (Cross into more progressive Hong Kong, and it is a different story.) In combination with my ‘man clothes’, short hair will make things considerably more ‘interesting’. I wish I could lose my considerable and distinctly non-Chinese tittage, the bane of my existence in this country, and have people mistake me for male at first. I’d be harassed A LOT less. And be given a little more respect, perhaps.
But back to lady-face. It is, as a white woman in a very racist, misogynist country, bad enough being in public wearing the no-nonsense shit that I do. I get shit for not being feminine enough, but being feminine would be a bad thing, too. It is difficult for me to imagine how much worse it would be if I exposed cleavage or bared my lightly hairy, unshaved, white legs. (Most Chinese don’t shave, but even many of the men don’t have much leg hair.) I think I would be sexually assaulted and harassed more than I am already. And I would be stared at even more than I am now. I’d be on the receiving end of more sexual behaviour from men and more derision/disgust from men AND women. And I would personally feel more uncomfortable and vulnerable. And that last bit is the difference between tolerating going out in public with PTSD under careful control, versus staying at home unless absolutely unavoidable.
Why do I bring this up? Well, I made an interesting discovery in my Business English class the other day. All female, except for a few males. I had planned to talk about giving ideas and making suggestions in the workplace, based on a chapter in their textbooks. But I opened it up by talking about personal suggestions, and I made the mistake of asking each student to give me a suggestion. I hadn’t anticipated all the misogyny and such a clear indication of where these silly assholes’ priorities were. Instead of interesting or creative ideas, several of the suggestions were:
- I needed to change my clothing style
- I needed to wear dresses
- I needed to wear bright colours
- I needed to wear things that would make me ‘look beautiful’
- More suggestions about wearing ‘girl clothes’
- I should wear different shoes
At one point, when I started to get annoyed by the implications that all anyone cared about was what I looked like and that my job performance clearly rested on this factor alone, I remarked that once boys started wearing dresses, I would too. You know, even if I wanted to dress like a cocksucker, I think about the following. My classroom is not air-conditioned. It went up to 37°C (99°F) last week. I usually spend 7 hours in that classroom, mostly on my feet, animated and interacting with students. I’m drenched in sweat within the first fifteen minutes. It is cooler (or less stifling, perhaps) when I step out of my classroom. I do tend to over-dress, but that is simply because I am uncomfortable with all the ogling I get in China. I also sweat like a pig. I don’t do well in the tropics. But I’m trying to imagine make-up running in rivulets down my face. I’m trying to imagine a typical lacy, polyester Chinese dress (think 1980’s in the West) sticking to my tits and legs, scratching and unbreathable, giving me a rash or hives. I’m trying to imagine my feet sweating and slipping inside high-heeled shoes. And then I imagine myself passing out in a disgusting mess on the floor with my skirt around my waist, my ankle broken, and all the kids making videos and posting it on the Chinese internet. (I would title it “Horrified or Whorified? White Teacher Fail!”)
Do men get any of this shit? No. Of course not. No one comments on what the black Muslim male teacher at my school wears. No one questions what any of the men wear or don’t wear. Anywhere in the world. No one measures a man’s teaching performance or talent by his shoes, fashion sense, or his looks. No one tells men about their bad B.O or the alcohol leaking from their pores when they sweat and breathe on students. Men show up. In whatever condition they wish. They get paid. They get respect. And they go home where their personal whores cook their food, clean their stinky clothes, and suck their dicks or spread their legs (or ass cheeks in the West!). A good life, and one men feel entitled to, but don’t deserve.
It’s bad enough dealing with my male students, but the Chinese lady-cocksuckers are a piece of work too, and they are racist and misogynist in their own special ways that feel like more of a betrayal than you get with men. You expect abuse from men. For me, I’m waiting for bullshit from men before they even open their mouths. But even when you know women will betray you because of your non-conformity, it hurts a lot when they do it. The women are part of the problem, even if they didn’t start it. I don’t let them off the hook as participants in women’s oppression. In their own oppression. In my oppression. There is never an excuse for keeping your brain turned off and reaping the meager benefits at other women’s expense.
Nowhere is it more publicly apparent that people are happy to accept kudos than in the United States. It is bumper sticker land. It is opinions-on-t-shirts land. It is the land where people are very, very concerned with getting credit for absolutely everything they do (and even stuff they didn’t do – yep, men, I’m talking about you). And strangely, even credit for stupid shit. American men see nothing shameful about wearing their pro-rape opinions on their manly chests; and American women sport the words ‘slut’, rape invitations, and other self-degradation and object status on their tits and asses along with vacant smiles and empty eyes. I was made aware of a case in Florida (the land of the truly embarrassing) during the conducting of job interviews, and a woman showed up wearing a low-cut shirt that revealed quite nicely the penis she had tattooed between her boobs indicating her function as an enthusiastic tit-fuckee. Yeah, seriously. And the job wasn’t for ‘tit-fuckee’.
Americans. Jezus fucking christ on a stick. Nobody does it better… sing along now.
As a Canadian and a Westerner that often has to explain very confusing shit Americans do publicly and in media (TV and film) to naive Chinese university students who wouldn’t dream of advertising their opinions in public for fear of arrest and/or social ostracism, I find it embarrassing. And maddening. And scary – I am on the receiving end of white whore treatment by Chinese thanks to Hollywood and other American rape-mills. I still intend to write a post about freedom at some point. It’s a topic I always bring up with my Masters and PhD students for discussion, and it’s usually fascinating. What most Americans call ‘freedom’, I call a shameful display of Dumb – with a capital D – with side dishes of sheer arrogance and ignorance. But the worst part is just how much American culture is hurting women. Western women more than anyone else, and white women in particular, as the latter tend to be the most highly sexualized, the most hated, and, sadly, the most self-hating group of women on the planet.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know some smart Yanks, but as a culture, they’ve added a badly unneeded layer of intellectual sludge to the existing layers, consisting of porn, rape as sport and entertainment, and public displays of Dumb coated with Pride. But I don’t fully blame them. No. Like with everything bad that the world blames the New World for, it ALL is firmly rooted in Europe. Capitalism (which in turn has its roots in the Arab world, ironically), individualism, colonization, slavery, and the Western version of the porn, pedophilia, and rape fantasy shit we know and love today. Europeans love to criticize the New World – especially the US – but as I said, it all began with European fuckery. And interestingly, Europeans are never held accountable for any of it. Americans are convenient, and well, they do take everything to a much more horrible level. But that, however, is simply because of technology. If the technology we have today existed in the Marquis de Sade’s time, where would we be now…? I shudder to think… As it is, give it a few decades. A lot of women are going to die. It’s going to get worse. Seriously. Very rapidly escalating, empty-headed violence for the completely useless purpose of boner-popping. That is men’s big contribution to the world.
Anyhow, let’s get to the topic of responsibility. This is a global topic. I just trashed Americans, and took out the historic Euro-trash. But really, all places and all people are the same. We love to get a pat on the back for good things that happen. We are amazingly responsible for things that aren’t actually accomplishments or things that we didn’t really have much to do with. Take, for example, parents. All parents like to take credit for their brats’ achievements, large and small. (I cringe every time I see a bumper sticker in the US about some child on the honour roll – like grades mean ANYTHING these days. They don’t.) And actually, society likes to heap praise on said parents. Somehow, everything they did led to the success of their child. What great parents! Yay!
But what about when your son turns out to be a rapist? Or your daughter runs away from home for some inconceivable reason (um, incest much?) and ends up hooking and a drug addict. Oh no! Not me! That’s not my fault! How can it be possible that a father – and especially a mother, usually the primary care-giver who spends nearly every waking minute with her kiddo for the first and extremely developmentally crucial years of its life and happily takes responsibility for her kids’ good grades – had absolutely nothing to do with the kids’ criminal leanings or any atrocities committed by said kid? How can you be responsible for how a good kid turned out, but had nothing to do with how a bad kid turned out? Sorry, parents – mum AND dad – you can’t have it both ways. And despite what feminists say about relieving mothers of all blame for the shit they inflict on their kids, I am just fine with justifiable blame. If you, as a parent, aren’t responsible, then tell me who the fuck is??? Just as my students don’t understand that being a student is essentially a job (payment is a degree or diploma) and therefore, they don’t have to do any work to get a good grade from me, parents tend not to see parenting as a job — unless it is convenient to do so. I’m all for primary caregivers receiving a wage from working partners (another post I want to write about) – half of the latter’s salary is perfectly reasonable for a housewife/mother – but you have to do the job properly. Not having a clue about violent porn on the internet and letting boy-children have unfettered access to a computer, is a dumbass excuse a lot of parents these days use when they discover that they are living with a little shitlord instead of a human. ‘Not my responsibility as a parent to know what my child is exposed to…’
There are plenty of other things people choose to be (or not be) responsible for. One of my favourites, living where I do, in China, is the constant complaint about the horrific number of people and all the problems it causes here. And trust me, people complain a lot. And trust me, over-population is a massive problem in most of China. People fantasize about leaving China and taking over another country to escape all the problems associated with over-population. But who is responsible??? Why is it so over-crowded and what can be done? Well, like in all countries, people put responsibility for change and fixing on the government. No one ever has to think about their own personal decisions. Government decides and then no people can be blamed for following blindly without using their brains in decision-making. So for a while, the Chinese government did try to control the population. Most people were allowed to have one child. Muslims were allowed to continue to breed uncontrollably. Farmers were allowed to have at least 2. And other native peoples avoided restrictions too. And we know how that turned out. Massive selective female fetus abortion. Female baby abandonment and killings. And there are very serious repercussions being experienced right now. The government has been gradually loosening controls. In many provinces, people can have two kids. Many of my students have at least one sibling. I’ve met young people with 2-5 siblings (sometimes illegal ones). And the looser things get, the more babies people will have. But people don’t believe that over-population is a personal problem. What they do doesn’t affect the whole. It’s like magic. And evidence to the contrary doesn’t affect logic or the willingness to change one’s personal choices. One might hate going to a swimming pool with 2,000 people in it and no lifeguards (seriously) or not being able to buy a ticket to go home during Chinese New Year, but the idea of not breeding? No way! Your child contribution will not affect the total. How could it? Other people are causing the problem. Not you. I will absolutely give kudos to those few, brave white women I know who made the ‘easy-difficult-honest’ decision not to breed and are doing their part to reduce the population. It is usually white women who fight for reproductive rights first and take the beatings and negative effects, including hatred and blame, for the rest of the world, and as I’ll write about in another post, reproductive rights include, first and foremost, the right NOT to breed, not the right to breed.
There are tons of other things people don’t want to take PERSONAL responsibility for. Global warming. Gun violence. Terrorism. The widespread poisoning of the water and food supply. The dumbing down of education for children all over the world. The run-away train that is capitalism. And much more.
But to take personal responsibility means that life is not going to be as easy for you. Well, under our current, sick, rape-oriented, female-slavery system, that is. And it means you have to really take a good honest look at your life, the kind of person you are, and your real contributions (negative and positive). It is easy to say you were involved in something good happening, but much, much more difficult to do something about your bad decisions – or better yet – to think and act before making the bad decision.
But this is how the ‘tragedy of the commons’ works. Doing what’s best for the common good, although the best decision in the long-run, is far beyond the limited minds of most simple thinkers. And avoidance and denial regarding your membership in a society help you to do the wrong thing every time a decision needs to be made.
Until you actually understand racism and the fact that it is a male invention that derives from and depends on misogyny, you are going to be confused about human interaction, especially when you move around geographically, and possibly about how to react to assaults upon your female body. You will be confused about who constitutes a racist and what constitutes a racist act. You’ll be confused about ‘racially motivated’ versus ‘racist’, and you’ll definitely be confused about whether a behaviour has nothing to do with race and everything to do with misogyny, economics, or just plain old meanness directed at the closest target available.
Racism, or the domination of one race over another, is not necessarily dependent on having a majority population. Numbers help, but they are not necessary. Racism is also much less simple to discern than misogyny. The world wants to dichotomize it (aka ‘only white people are racist’), but it is both incorrect and too easy. Woman-hate IS a simple dichotomy; it really is easy to figure out. Men hate women. And these men include all the ones we love to coddle: gay men, trannies (men in dresses), men with no arms and no legs, homeless men, Jewish and Muslim men, and non-white men. Sexist behaviours and crimes are easy to pinpoint because men hold all the power, while women don’t. Men do all sorts of shit to women (and get away with it) because they hold all the power. Even with other mitigating factors, such as economics, males always hold power. The least powerful man can still rape (and get away with raping) the most powerful woman and holding that sexual threat over her is a source of the world’s greatest, most accepted, and longest standing oppression.
Racism is not so easy. First, it is based on misogyny. Without woman-hate, racism wouldn’t be a thing. It wouldn’t exist. It is a male creation, the sole purpose of which is to preserve bloodlines. And bloodlines are ONLY preserved by controlling women and who sticks their dicks into their fuckholes. Just listen to any racial or ethnic supremacist group (white, black, Chinese, Jewish, etc), regardless of race or ethnicity or geography, and sooner rather than later, you’ll hear them talk about not allowing inter-marriage or inter-dating and about breeding and sterilization. That is control of women, their cunts and their uteri. Control of women is at the root of racism. But then again, if you understand radical feminism, and what ‘radical’ actually means, this is obvious to you and you won’t find yourself derailed by intersectionality issues.
Second, racism isn’t a dichotomy despite so many people wishing and hoping it were. There are several races on the planet (and even more confusing, several more ethnicities that are sometimes treated and function like races), and depending on where you are, different races have different power. The race that rules (and thus can be ‘racist’) has three sources of power, which I make clear in my Oppressor Triangle below. Further, in a dynamic between two people or groups of people, we can consider a fourth source of power – the one at the centre of everything. The penis. When a penis is present, it predominates. Penis is first, and then the other three sources of power follow. I call this the Oppressor Triangle, with a dick at the centre.
Let’s go through the Oppressor Triangle briefly. You can apply this triangle to any oppression you wish. Take misogyny. Woman-hate. This one is easy because with cock at the centre, you don’t even need to go further in the analysis.
Cock at the centre. First, cock is the overriding factor. If cock is present, it will cancel out any power a non-cock (i.e., a woman) has. Cock wins over vagina. Always. Even if an individual woman has legal, political AND economic power over a man. Dude can still rape or threaten rape. That is the ultimate oppression. Further, a man with a cock will be in a position of power over a trannie dude with no cock. And a trannie who cuts off his cock and sports a dress, pumps and lipstick, will hold power over women by nature of being born and raised with an attached cock. Women have negligible power over one another. However, a woman can gain power over another woman through ‘cock proxy’. If she is a cocksucker – a practising heterosexual woman or a woman with a son – she will have power over an asexual woman or a lesbian or a childless, single woman. Basically, the less cock you have in your life, the less power you have in relation to other women. It is exactly why matriarchy wouldn’t/doesn’t function on a domination-submission or slavery paradigm.
Economic Power. Economics can be determined by sheer wealth, but also by social relationships and status. People with more money obviously have more power than people with less money. But there is another aspect to this that is not immediately apparent. People with families have more economic power than people with no families. This might seem confusing at first because most people have some sort of family they interact with, even if they don’t like them. People who have no family, which includes parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, spouses and children, have much less economic power than those with these traditional relationships. As a single, childless person, if you get sick or injured and cannot work, you lose your sole income and form of security. You have no one to take care of you, cook for you, bring in money for you, and do basic things people with families take for granted. Further, you are at high risk of death or serious life-changing implications if the illness or injury is long-term. It is hard to imagine, even if you are not 100% cool with your family, but in dire circumstances, you know they will help you out (even if there are strings attached). Those of us without that economic safety net live in a shit-scary world where the threat of illness or injury is constant and terrifying. And once you get a taste of helplessness, and how easily and quickly you can be rendered helpless, everything you do can be very scary. There is a reason single, childless elderly women (most of whom are white, by the way) are one of the poorest segments of the population in the Western world.
Political Power. This can very obviously refer to the power that a politician or someone enmeshed in the political world (e.g., lobbyists, union members, bureaucrats, etc) might have. But it can also refer to the power that your not-specifically-political group membership has politically. For example, all over the world, governments and citizens are terrified of Muslim violence. Even in dictatorial China where I live and work, the government is terrified of Muslim terrorism. Muslims are the only group in China who don’t have to abide by the government’s strict rules regarding population control, income and freedom of speech. They can say and do and go where they want. In the last year or two, there have been Muslim acts of terrorism in China (including where I live), and this relatively small group had the political power to change security measures in every single transportation station (metro, train, bus stations and airports) in the affected cities and beyond. We’ve also seen the political power of male refugees in Europe recently. ‘Oppressed’ rapists attacking local women were given asylum and their crimes were ignored and wiped from the internet. And our all-time favourite oppressed people, Jewish folks, hold enormous political power (and economic power, for that matter) all over the world. Despite being a tiny, tiny minority of the population, they have massive political clout with the American government. In comparison, women, the largest oppressed group in the world, have no political power whatsoever unless they put forth an agenda that supports men, thereby not acting on behalf of women at all.
Legal Power. Political and legal power are often confused. They can be present at the same time, and can even depend on one another. All forms of power can be interdependent, but it is not a given. Legal power can refer to that which a lawyer or legal professional has because of knowledge and training. But it can also refer to the power that comes from having one’s rights protected by law. In this way, citizens will have legal power over undocumented workers (the latter may or may not have political power over the former, however). A citizen also has legal power over a legal foreign worker. There is nothing like the threat of having one’s visa rescinded to keep someone under legal control. A diplomat has the legal power to commit whatever crimes he wishes without repercussions in his host country. Men have legal rights that women don’t have – in all countries. Men have massive legal power in cases of the sex crimes they commit, as the burden of proof is on the victim (woman) to prove that she has been violated, and often this is dependent on refuting irrelevant details about her character and behaviour. Men also have the legal power to define crimes that they commit and the rights that they have. Trannies (men who think they are women) are eroding the legal rights of women, and are so legally (as well as politically and economically) powerful that they are erasing women altogether.
So let’s get back to racism.
Racism can also be explained using the Oppressor Triangle with cock at the centre. The race that dominates in a geographical area will conduct business based on female oppression and have economic, political and legal power over other races. The dominant race isn’t automatically white. In many places, white people don’t even factor into daily life. The dominant race is based on economic, political and legal power and is controlled by men only. Racist behaviour will be committed by those with penises or racially motivated behaviour will be enacted by those who act on behalf of penises. So saying that only white people are racist is incorrect no matter how good it feels to arm oneself with that illogic. I’ll use an example based on my own years of experience – China. In China, the Han Chinese (about 20% of the world population; 90% of the population in China) are the dominant ethnicity (some feel they function as a race, however) and hold power over all other races and ethnicities within the Asiatic race living or visiting China. There are many poor Chinese, but there are many, many rich Chinese. China is actually a very rich country, with an unequal distribution of capital (like all other countries). They have economic power (and are actually fast overtaking Caucasians in the United States and Canada as the dominant race, economically, according to data). Within China, they are politically powerful – they dominate the government and have serious political clout around the world. And they have legal power – they dictate the laws that run the country and often break international law when negotiating with other countries. When dealing with whites, blacks, Arabs and other foreign and non-Chinese people in China, the Han Chinese dominate. The former hold no power over the Chinese economically, politically or legally. Even with some power (e.g., economic power), no non-Chinese will dominate a Chinese, unless it is a non-Chinese man over a Chinese woman. In a girl-on-girl scenario, a Chinese woman will dominate a non-Chinese woman with racially motivated behaviour, rather than outright racism, if backing a male agenda. Women can assist men in a racist agenda, but I am hesitant to hold women responsible for racism as racism is borne of misogyny. Like sexism, women can buy in and support cock domination and mandatory heterosexuality, but men are ultimately responsible. Learning to stop calling women ‘racist’ is similar to learning to stop calling women bitches and cunts. It is irresistible to hold women responsible for what men have created and perpetuate.
So in short,
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a male of a non-dominant race
- I care little about this as men fight each other over the right to rape all women. when you back the rights of an oppressed man, you will only end up exchanging one master for another.
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a female of a non-dominant race
- This is what I call ‘racist misogyny’ and is standard all over the world. It explains the ‘white whore’ phenomenon – the common occurrence white women experience when living and traveling in other countries and which no one wants to acknowledge.
- A male of a non-dominant race has racial power over a female of the dominant race.
- This phenomenon explains why white women almost NEVER report assaults and rapes by men of colour in their home countries. It also explains ‘sex tourism’ (aka ‘rape holidays‘), and rapes of local women (prostitutes and non-prostitutes) committed by visiting military personnel in foreign countries (i.e., white, black and hispanic American soldiers stationed in South Korea).
- Between women, there is no racism. There can be racially-motivated behaviour if the target behaviour is prompted by a heterosexual, male-dominated, anti-woman agenda. Otherwise, power is based on other sources (economics, politics, law, etc).
Given that women don’t create or perpetuate racism unless they are clearly working a male agenda of domination over females / woman-hate, it is not the responsibility of women to end racism, or subordinate themselves to members of other races. Racism comes from men and is based on rape and the control of women, their uteri and their spawn. When I see feminist conferences put racism on the agenda, I know I’m not dealing with radical feminists, even if they call themselves such. Women aren’t responsible for racism or cleaning it up. It is a male thing and men need to stop it. Once men let go of control of our cunts and uteri, racism will cease to exist. And organizing ‘feminist’ conferences and workshops in order to shame white women (only white women are shamed for what men of all races do to women of all races) is a fucking waste of female energy. Women aren’t the enemy, even if they often feel like it when they take on male agendas.
After a week of constant misogynist student comments, constant tit-ogling by my friendly neighbourhood construction workers, daily wonderment at how my male students were able to gain entrance into university and college (they are so fucking lazy and stupid, I can’t believe it!), daily racism and misogyny shit sandwiches by all and sundry – especially my neighbours and co-workers of three years, and on top of it all, 35°C (that’s 95°F to you, Yanks) every single day in both my workspace and home (no A/C!!!), the last fucking thing I needed was dealing with a commonplace street assault.
In China, it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your wife or girlfriend on the street in broad daylight. It is not quite as bad as South Korea or Thailand, where you can physical beat the bitch down to the ground with no repercussions (I’ve witnessed this in Thailand and tried to intervene once – a Japanese man stopped me – and a friend of mine lived in Korea and saw it all the time), but the Chinese-style woman-beat-down is an every day occurrence. I have a history of intervening in male abuse of women – moreso in my youth when I was stronger and dumber. No women have ever helped me (quite the opposite, actually), but that hasn’t stopped me from trying to help dumb-ass heterosexual women. I’ve learned, mostly. I don’t bother helping heterosexual women with their problems anymore. I fought for my own fucking freedom, and I continue to pay for my decisions because het women refuse to get on board in solidarity in the name of change and making female life better. Nothing has EVER in the history of the world been gained through waiting patiently – especially when it is waiting for people (men) to overcome their abusive tendencies and dumbassery. If you want freedom, you need to fucking fight for it, sometimes violently, especially if you don’t have money, or power in other areas of your life, or the right connections. So if you’re not going to fight, then you suck it up, and don’t whine about it. You only get to whine if you follow it up with action. So, I generally refuse to be sucked down into another woman’s problems for a number of reasons. Her boyfriend will try to hurt me – that’s a guarantee. She herself will almost always hurt me in response, she will usually choose the cock she is sucking and getting raped by over a friendly sister, and return to him after she uses me, and will end up supporting a system that *sort of* helps her (the cocksucker) and badly hurts me (the rebel). It’s the same philosophy I use in other areas of life, such as with my students. If students are lazy, selfish, and don’t give a shit about anyone (sometimes including themselves), I don’t bother with them. Only the ones who are willing to do the hard work get my support beyond what I am paid to do. My time and energy are fucking precious, so I bet on the winning horses. Blaming the victim? Well, fuck. At what point will we actually ask women to take some fucking responsibility, take some fucking risks? Men are not going to change until we force them to change, impose serious consequences for their actions, control them, kill them, or separate from them. Or some combination. Victimhood is real, but telling women to just accept things, or not to take risks, or not to self-examine is bullshit. Nothing will ever change until women take charge of their lives in serious and aggressive ways. If you need proof, look at the lack of change over the last several thousand years due to pussyfooting around the issue. I’m not an activist, but I don’t sit on my ass and wait for other people to save me while my self-serving, anti-woman actions end up hurting other women. I have some serious burdens that a lot of women don’t have, but I still take responsibility for my impact. And other women are in a better position to make positive change. But they don’t. So what the fuck?
But I couldn’t help it today. I just can’t fucking stand violent men getting away with their privileged bullshit. I came across the standard domestic abuse scenario on my way to the subway station. Two university students outside the gates of my school. The boy, twice the size of his girlfriend and much larger than me as well and less than half my age, had pulled her to the side of the sidewalk and had the ‘spiral fracture grip’ on her forearm that you see with sooooo many domestic abuse situations. He was lambasting her for something – probably he was jealous that she was talking to a friend or she didn’t wear the right skirt or something serious like that. She had assumed the submissive, childlike, head down pose that is recognizable across all cultures as ‘beaten, broken, abused woman’. It must have been the androcidal impulse in me that increases as the weather gets hotter. Men rape more in hot temperatures. I feel the urge to kill rapists much more in the summer. Go figure. But anyhow, I stopped and yelled, “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!” Didn’t even register to him. He was focused on his bitch. I moved more into his line of vision (I was walking on the road, not the sidewalk), and repeated my command. He turned to me in hatred and yelled, “FUCK YOU!” I yelled ‘fuck you’ back, but it was futile. He is the big man. And Chinese. So he has racism and sexism backing up his claim to power. I am just a white whore. Like an insect. My word means nothing. I have no power as a woman and especially as a white woman – a member of a powerless racial minority with a score of zero on the Oppressor Triangle™. He dismissed me with barely a look and returned to sexually abusing his girlfriend.
I walked on, androcide in my heart. There was nothing I could do. Not even the police would be interested in this kind of stuff. I know this well. I was dismissed before when I reported a black rapist racially profiling me, stalking me and demanding to come to my apartment to fuck (rape) me on our Chinese campus. My teaching liaison refused to contact the police. Rape and sexual assault are not matters for the police. I’ll be writing about China and its annoying mantra/euphemism on ‘harmony’ soon. Point is that women have no voice, no rights in China. But who are we kidding, women have no voice and no rights anywhere. In fact, it is getting worse for us in countries where women are supposedly ‘free’ (according to rapists, I mean men).
I managed to cool down some, gradually, but with racism and misogyny in full force over this past week, I’m having a very serious “I hate China” week and I am fantasizing non-stop of ramming chopsticks into male eye sockets. It brings me a little peace to think about it, but the fact that rapists aren’t dying in reality leaves me unsatisfied and frustrated.
The majority of my students are males, unfortunately. So there is a lot of stupid-ass crap that I am forced to listen to when I teach communication classes. I stand by my years and years of experience teaching in four different countries when I say that males are not as hot shit as they think they are. I also say that I constantly see evidence of males being given an easier time in school because of misogyny. Males use louder voices; larger size; highly disruptive and sometimes intimidating, infantile petulance; and humour or class clown antics to mask incompetence or stupidity, distract, garner attention, curry favour, and ultimately pull in student, teacher (and later employer) support. Most males succeed, not because of superiority on any level, but because of the attention (positive and negative) they demand of everyone around them. These behaviours are rewarded starting in infanthood, and carry on all their lives. Quieter, but superior, female students seldom are rewarded for their competence and have a harder time competing for attention when they are drowned out by their privileged princeling classmates.
And so I’m almost finished lengthy rounds of interviews/examinations with all my students. I’m testing listening and speaking skills. I don’t assign grades for viewpoints or whether I agree with them or not. It’s all about taught skills. I’m a master test administrator and designer. I’m pretty aware of my biases and am well trained in developing tests to measure the skills I’m interested in. But I will say this. There are boys I’d love to fail simply because they are misogynist douchebags. I reason to myself that males have destroyed and continue to destroy girls’ and women’s careers simply because they are female. I have many horrible memories of my experiences as a student with male teachers. The worst experience was as a senior undergraduate and the best in my graduating class. My alcoholic male thesis advisor (for whom I also managed a research lab to support myself financially) tried to fail me because I didn’t ask his unreliable, malicious, drunken ass to write me a letter of recommendation for graduate school. He gave me a grade so close to failing that he prevented me from attending a top tier graduate school because of this academic anomaly. As the head of my department, he was untouchable and all the other profs knew what he had done to me. They wouldn’t risk helping me, other than to write me kick-ass recommendation letter. But the damage was done. Yep! Men destroy women’s careers for no reason other than being female and refusing to suck their cocks.
But of course, I would never abuse my power like that. I’m a woman. I have integrity. And hell, freedom of speech (aka ‘let the rapists speak!’) or something like that.
So I wanted to report a few of the gems I heard during my testing. Out of the mouths of wanna-be rapists. And all of this was on my fucking birthday of all days. Sitting there listening to rapey male entitlement on my fucking birthday. Fucking fuckety fuck!!!
#1 Awesome Comment
One of my more bizarre and asocial males came in and proceeded to fuck up his examination with poor grammar and unimpressive responses to questions. The highlight occurred when I asked him to describe a national problem. He decided to broach the subject of the scarcity of females in his age group (around 20). My favourite question is always ‘why?’ so I asked it. He said that many males will not be able to ‘get a girlfriend’. I hear this ‘get a girlfriend’ all the time from my male students, and it always reminds me of object acquisition – get a car, get a new cell phone, etc. So again, I asked ‘why?’ Why is it a national problem if you can’t ‘get a girlfriend’? Apparently, the problem is not that 40 million girls were killed simply because they are girls. Nope. That is not a problem. The problem is that many boys are going to have to ‘turn gay’. See, if you can’t rape a bitch, then you’re going to have to stick your dick somewhere. Dicks must be serviced. Sorry, I don’t see a problem. I wish all men were gay and would keep their dicks out of women. But I didn’t say that to dude. I hope he finds a nice boy in the future. He doesn’t have the social skills to meet one of the rare girls here.
#2 Awesome Comment
One of my better students whipped out his chivalry on me. No, that is not a euphemism. Chivalry is actually a thing in China. It’s like medieval Europe, except girls are allowed to go to school and wear trousers. But there are all sorts of weird ideas about how to treat a lady which I find repulsive. And of course, chivalry leads to all sorts of gross female behaviour too (e.g., feigned helplessness and treating fellow females like absolute shit). Anyhow, my male student was answering some question I can’t recall now, and he started in about having to protect girls all the time. Why? “Because girls are weak.” Now, normally, when giving examinations, I do my best not to react to what students say other than to ask follow up questions or to ask them to repeat something. But I guess I didn’t react at all to this bullshit. So the male student followed up with “Don’t you think so???” I decided to say, very simply, “Absolutely not. Girls are not weak.” And then I moved on to the next question.
This kind of bullshit thinking is extraordinarily harmful. And it is a common belief in China. It is blatantly untrue. But I hear it all the time. A male Masters student tried to argue recently that males were a better choice for graduate students because women have no stamina or strength and can’t do as much work or survive on less sleep. WTF? Speaking as a chronic insomniac with two masters degrees and a fierce work load, I’d beg to differ. Who are the people who nurse babies, sick children, weak, whiny males, and disabled or old people through the night for years without fail? Um, women. For millennia, who has always had to get up earlier and go to bed later in order to service males who do the ‘important work’? Women. And who is doing better and working longer and harder in school these days? Females. Yeah, so fuck that noise.
I firmly believe that the bullshit fairy tales males tell themselves in order to keep women from succeeding and seeking independence and separatism are a result of the deep and threatening knowledge that males have of their own obsolescence.
A long, long time ago, men realized something.
They are next to useless. Essentially obsolete. There is almost no reason for their existence. And as scientific knowledge has progressed, we can correctly say that now, there really is no purpose for men. Women have the capacity to breed with other women. We don’t even need freeze-dried spunk or the jizz of farmed or jailed males to replicate anymore. Men know this, and especially lately, we are seeing backlash against women in all corners of the world by men and sometimes by women on behalf of men. Male violence increases as their self-awareness and fear of reality increases. Infantile violent backlash: classic male modus operandi. But it is not to be disregarded in the way that you might the temper tantrum of a toddler.
This male realization isn’t a recent one. Backlash has been coming in waves for eons. Early on, men realized that in Woman, all capacities existed. Unlike in themselves, nothing was missing. Any and every task could be completed by women, usually in less time, in a smarter fashion, and more efficiently. AND with less violence and cruelty. Men realized they were not creative beings in several senses.
Men have, more recently, called this natural, female self-sufficiency and strong capability ’emasculation’. In other words, the fact that women don’t need men at all is construed by men to be some sort of attack on maledom, itself. It is nothing of the sort. Women are women, and without intention or crafty malice at all, we are just capable of anything and everything. Without male interference. Sorry, dudes. We just don’t need you. You are obsolete. But you knew that and have known that for a long time.
How do we know men have long known this fact? By the sheer violence that they first unleashed upon us a long time ago and continue to unleash. By the continued enslavement and forced fear they imposed on us early on. By the current state of our sagging, wheezing, dying world. By the currently (male) defined and accepted definitions of what is good and what is bad.
In short, men try to deny and counter their obsolescence by creating reasons to exist. And the only way they can craft a pseudo existence is by creating problems. When there are problems, men get to work trying to ‘solve’ them (aka, create new problems). Don’t be fooled. All male solutions are new problems. To truly solve a real problem, no new problems would be created. And then the reality of male obsolescence would come crashing down again. By continued male existence, we absolutely guarantee that the world will continue to smoulder. Male creation is actually destruction. It is the only way they can be. Signing on to support males ensures that you support destruction – especially your own as a woman.
Problems men have created out of nothing to ensure their continued ‘worth’
Designing things and systems that defy Nature and the natural order and then trying to force them to work against all odds is the male form of creation (destruction). All of the following work together to ensure that men feel they are useful.
Overpopulation is the single worst thing to happen to the planet and to humans and ensures a male purpose in the quest to ‘solve’ the resulting problems. It is the most direct and most easily predictable outcome of female slavery by men. ‘Free’ women (no woman is truly free) in a male-dominated world tend not to breed at all or at very low rates, as having children in a male world is a form of slavery. A ‘free’ woman realizes that. So domination and indoctrination of females has always been the number one priority on men’s list of things to do. Slavery leads to forced breeding and over-breeding. And it is men’s proudest accomplishment in that it leads to a multitude of other created problems that men can pretend to work on and thus use to justify their existence. Overpopulation leads to overcrowding, unemployment, poverty, famine, conflict/war, health crises, pollution, poisoning of the world, lack of education, and a whole hell of a lot more. It is a juicy morsel of problems that can employ men on several levels as they create non-solutions (i.e., more problems). None of these problems can truly be solved until women are liberated from men – physically and mentally. Until then, they will continue.
Capitalism – or permission to abuse in name of self-interest – the ultimate reflection or manifestation of the immature, selfish and violent male ego, defies the natural order of human existence and creates a host of problems that allow men to create purpose for themselves. Capitalism absolutely CANNOT exist in the long-term unless some humans are enslaved. The longer it goes on, the more twisted it becomes. Capitalism cannot exist in a world that is equal or fair. In a capitalist system, a great deal of unpaid or underpaid labour must be performed in order to make it ‘work’. The point of this system is to create monetary wealth, and there is no such thing as monetary wealth if everyone has the same amount. Wealth is a relative term dependent upon what everyone possesses. Thus, you can’t be wealthy unless some people have little or nothing. In this case, the vast majority of the enslaved and those who possess little or nothing are women. Capitalism requires that a large number of people (women) live in poverty so that a minority (select sociopathic men of all races) can live in excess, and a larger minority (also mostly men, regardless of race) can live in relative comfort. Versions of capitalism exist in most parts of the world and transcends race, religion and culture. It is an economic system that pits male against female. It requires that ALL people believe that this is a natural thing, a natural order. It also requires ALL people to believe that it is possible to become one of those at the top. It is kind of like religion and the concept of heaven or nirvana. If you do the right combination of things, you can live the good (after)life. But it is a (male) fantasy. Many must suffer needlessly so that a few can self-indulge on a shameful level. But it is not natural. It is male-created. Men can only conceive of hierarchy and suffering. The idea that any person could live free of domination is beyond the male mind, despite the fact that freedom is actually the more natural state. Even male conceptions of equal societies (e.g., communism à la Marx) can never be realized as equal systems because they have been conceived by men and have been carried out by men. Men don’t allow equality or freedom to all, no matter what they say. Someone must always be enslaved to satisfy the male need to dominate.
Violence is a mandatory part of male existence, and paired with female enslavement and forced breeding, war and conflict are a constant. This is exciting for men because war creates jobs and a false sense of male purpose. There is absolutely no incentive for men to end conflict. 1) They lose a massive supply of rape fodder (‘enemy’ women and forced prostitutes in devastated areas). 2) Natural male bloodlust is satisfied. 3) Money is made off of war through the creation and fake-solving of problems. Take away conflict and men become useless. Look at the aftermath of WWII in North America. Women like my grandmother easily held down the home front. They found new purpose after being freed from mandatory rape and other wife/slave duties. They had jobs. They took over sports and entertainment. They renewed friendships with other women without men getting in the way and making demands. When men came back from war, they were lost with no purpose. They saw that women had easily gotten on without them. Men were not needed at all. So they solved this problem by displacing the women, brainwashing them once again, putting them back in the kitchens and laundry rooms, and forcing them to spread their legs and believe in ‘romance’ (hello Baby Boom – aka post-war-rape-babies).
Another part of mandatory violence is that men have created a protection racket. By legally allowing men to destroy women through rape and violence, men can sell their protection services to women as ‘love’ and ‘respect’, thus ensuring continued female slavery through marriage, and ensuring male jobs in the military, police force, and prison system. Take away the male right to rape, and women are free from violence and thus don’t ‘need’ men to protect them. Male-dominated society falls apart and men become obsolete when you take away women’s fear. But this will never happen. Men know this. War will continue. Rape will continue. Fear will continue.
Religion is the psychological glue that holds everything together and provides a justification for domination, violence, ignorance, poverty, female slavery, and every other problem that men create out of a need to feel needed. Religion justifies the creation of problems. Religion gives men validation and a sense of the right to exist despite evidence to the contrary. Religion is a male-created problem in and of itself. In the absence of or rejection of religion in a male’s life, he will naturally look to elevate other systems to that of religion. Science is a good example of this. While science is an objective and useful tool for acquiring knowledge, in men’s hands, it becomes a weapon against women and nature, and takes on the role of religion as the great justifier for violence through non-thinking and subjectivity (e.g., look at the fanatical zeal with which atheist men have elevated a non-science such as evolutionary psychology in order to justify rape).
Male thought patterns that help men deny their obsolescence
The concept of ‘doing something because it can be done‘ – also a male concept, and one that I hear constantly from the mouths of men – is anti-Nature and unethical. There is such a thing as crossing the line when it comes to human action and the pursuit of goals and knowledge. Harm tends not to be something that men consider – unless it is harm of oneself, and even then, the thought doesn’t always register since a slave woman is always there to pick up the pieces and make sure he survives and lives in comfort. As a result, most men don’t hesitate in crossing lines of harm in the pursuit of
knowledge glory, money, etc.
Competition – a male concept that men have tried to build into an argument based on Nature (Nature is handy for men at times, but not at others) – is actually unnecessary among humans who are living naturally in a woman-centred way. Men see competition as a natural thing in all areas of life that can justify some truly horrific things done to other humans and to justify forcing a large number of people (women) to live in deplorable ways. Human dignity, growth and advancement is not possible with the level of competition required in a male-dominated society.
Progress and growth – directly tied to capitalism – is the idea that something can come from nothing, and that success can only be defined as ‘more’. Ignorant and infantile and greedy, of course. Progress and growth are seldom realistic without line-crossing, serious human rights abuses, and environmental destruction.
My prediction is that as knowledge progresses, as women achieve on all levels, as more women chip away at the barriers to their liberation, the backlash from males will increase. Fear is a powerful thing, and the realization of one’s limited use on earth is something that can scare the most ‘manly’ of men. In fact, I would tell all women: the more violent a man is towards you, the more scared he is of you and the more he realizes how ineffectual he is. Not comforting news, I know. But that is why he is trying to hurt you. He is afraid of what you are and what he can never be. Stopping this misogynist bullshit is another matter altogether, however; and really should be addressed by women more seriously than it currently is.
About 6 years ago, a straight male, blue-collar acquaintance of mine who is no longer in my life, suggested casually in conversation that all boys, upon puberty, should be vasectomized. Inwardly, I ferociously agreed, but I regard every single thing men say with suspicion, so I didn’t say anything in response. And of course, the truth behind the opinion came out. As usual, with regard to male motivations, I was right. Men inevitably out themselves for the selfish shitlords they are. You see, this dude’s opinion had nothing to do with protecting women from one of the nasty effects of coerced rape that is mandatory heterosexuality and penis-centred ‘sex’. Neither did it have anything to do with the fact that almost all children that exist aren’t genuinely wanted, but are products of the forced breeding program that results from enforced heterosexuality and female slavery.
He was only concerned with saving males from having to take responsibility for pregnancies resulting from getting their rapey freak on and thus ruining THEIR OWN lives. It turns out that once upon a time, this particular dude had avoided resisting raping/fucking some female that was conveniently located in his friend’s apartment (picture a porn scene – male walks in, sees female, cheesy conversation for 20 seconds, and immediate fuckage ensues), she got pregnant, and he ‘did the right thing’ (aka ‘ruined his life’) by marrying her and bringing the unwanted child into the world.
I agreed with the idea this dude brought up – although not his selfish motivations – but I would take it further. While I personally don’t think we should allow any more males to be born into the world, if we are forced to allow them to exist, we should remove their external genitalia as soon as they’re born and effectively sterilize them. There is nothing more dangerous than a penis. Even if these dudes can’t procreate, they can still rape if they have their schlongs. My motivation is one of the greater good – not a case of male individualism and self-indulgance. I don’t believe in the ‘right to breed’, especially in light of our population, crime and environmental crises (a post on how I interpret ‘reproductive rights’ forthcoming). But I do believe in the right of all females to be safe from all males. That is at the core of feminism after all: the liberation of women from men.
It brings up a question though. Would women and girls truly be safe and thus be set free from men and boys if we removed their junk? Our ongoing slavery and fear comes directly from what men do with their penises. They rape us, they impregnate us, they threaten us with them, and every other fear we have results directly or indirectly from penises in action. Would their power over us disappear with their nuts and bolt? Would dickless wonders make for safe compadres? If saving sperm were outlawed (as it should be), and women actively chose to procreate with other women (thank you science), we would eventually be male-free and self-sufficient. A freedom that is hard to imagine except in fantasy.
And for the bleeding/bleating hearts who think that you have human rights in mind and might get indignant at what I’ve suggested, here is a question for you. Why is the male ‘right’ to violate women and girls and to threaten women and girls with what penises can do more important that the female right to safety from men? More specifically, if dicks cause problems, why, instead of easily solving said problem in the most direct way possible, do you tell women to just ‘live with it’?
[Part of the Year of the Fantasy series.]
Just a quick post. Life has gotten extremely busy and exhausting lately, so there is little energy to write, and little time to think.
But I was cruising through my stats out of curiosity since one of my posts has consistently been getting traffic completely through Google searches, and I’d just like to report on it. It is fast becoming my most popular post.
Almost every day, someone performs a non-English and sometimes an English search that leads them to the post on being raped by a Muslim. They are looking for rape of white women, and they are looking for porn (video’ed rape deemed to be ‘free speech’ and ‘entertainment’) of white women by Muslims.
This was yesterday’s English-language Google search term:
muslim man and white girl porno online
Any asshole – including radical feminists who pander to ‘oppressed’ men – who thinks white women are privileged over anyone, especially men of colour, can go fuck themselves. You have swallowed liberal cock. Congratulations. Tastes good, yes?
Just a short post today to announce that Western trannies have invaded China! Yippee-ki-fucking-yay!!!
Let’s backtrack a bit.
I recently administered some final oral language examinations to two of my classes: some tourism majors. Most of them did okay. The exams weren’t so hard.
One of the questions had to do with using -ed and -ing adjectives correctly (e.g., bored vs boring), which is a common error for Chinese speakers because they use the same word for both in their language. So basically, on the exam, I give them four words and ask them to choose two and give me two good examples that demonstrates correct usage and an understanding of the vocabulary.
One of my students chose the word ‘shocked’ from the list and came up with the following:
“I felt shocked when I visited Guilin and saw a Western man wearing a dress.”
I broke character (objective examiner) and responded with “Really???” I wanted to know if the example was true or just created for the purpose of answering the question. Apparently, it was a true story.
It is possible that the person she saw was just some hippie or queer dude wearing, not a dress, but a man-skirt or a sarong. But she said ‘dress’ which opens up the possibility of a male of a different flavour. While it’s hard for me to imagine a trannie or cross-dresser going to a place as conservative and gender-conforming as China, at the same time, this kind of guy loves the idea of pushing boundaries and being presented with opportunities for confrontation and self-righteous anger expression. Western dudes flock to developing countries and loudly rage at local people for not having their Western male ways catered to. I can imagine a trannie being in heaven here, spewing at everyone for staring at him in horror and fascination.
I will say, the Chinese do have a fascination for the Kathoey – or Thai ‘ladyboys’. Many Chinese want to go to Thailand specifically to see these guys in action. It’s not something they would allow here – at least outside of the entertainment industry – but is considered to be humourous and safely shocking to see this kind of thing in a weird foreign country. For some reason, though, the Western explosion in male trans politics is relatively unheard of in China, and to have one show up here would be rather sensational, and not in a good way. Unlike ladyboys, most Western trannies aren’t pretty or, most importantly, delicate. They would bring a whole different level of weird – of the unacceptable kind.
To preserve the ignorance of Chinese students, I, as an actual Western person, am not allowed to teach the official, curriculum-mandated Western culture classes here in China. Only Chinese people – especially those who have never left China, it seems – are allowed to teach this subject. Imagine in your country, barring your foreign national Chinese staff from teaching Chinese culture to university students, and forcing locals who have never even left the country to teach it instead. Laughable, yes? It’s like me teaching a semester-long class on Afghan culture – a place I’ve never been and know nothing about. I occasionally debate about discussing some of the weirder aspects of Western culture that don’t make it into the highly censored Chinese media outlets. Not sure whether I would do it.
Even though I’ve never really been much of a ‘joiner’ by nature, I’m beginning to think there is an actual reason I don’t join or invest a lot of social energy in even radical feminist groups that might logically appeal to me. I just find that these groups tend to complicate feminism by moving away from the prime directive: female liberation from men. I just can’t see feminism ever having a real and lasting impact when women slide into a concession-to-dick-based policy rooted in intersectionality. When this happens, women themselves create and maintain a hierarchy (some women are more oppressed than others; some men are not as bad as others) instead of sticking to a policy of liberation – all women from all men.
Before I get started here, I want to be explicit that I am in no way standing up for white dudes. They are their own phenomenon, but their brand of misogyny and power base is no better or worse than that of any other group of men on the planet. Maybe in your little personal world, they are the worst thing to happen to you, but for many women, white men have little to do with their personal oppression. My point here is that making distinctions between groups of men is fucking irrelevant when it comes to discussing domination of, violence against, and hatred towards women.
In other words, outside of one’s personal life of woe and and on a slightly larger scale, geographical regions, when it comes to naming the problem, which is men as a class:
- Race is irrelevant.
- Ethnicity is irrelevant.
- Wealth or lack thereof is irrelevant.
- Education level is irrelevant.
- Religious affiliation is irrelevant.
- Sexual orientation is irrelevant.
- Occupation is irrelevant.
- Psychotic gender bullshit categories and the grafting on of fake titties to a man-chest are irrelevant.
The world isn’t shitty because of white men. The world is shitty because of men. The world is shitty because of the cumulative contributions of men from across time, space, and race. No particular group of men is the worst. All groups of men are the worst, and just as you waste time fighting about which group of women is more oppressed, you waste time when you try to figure out (or just plain old assume) which group of men is the worst. Just as different women deal with different shit (because all women experience shit, as women), different men drop different kinds of turds (because all men drop turds, as men). This is easy. And if you can’t go with this easy policy, feminism will never succeed. The reason men are still dominant and hurting us is because they go with ‘easy’. They hate women, all women. Kaboom. Easy peasy. And we waste our time quibbling over details, which in the grand scheme of things (i.e., outside your personal queendom), just divide us. And when building up momentum in what is still a fledgling movement, getting butt-hurt because your special interests aren’t being specifically and uniquely addressed insures that everything will quickly devolve and fall apart. We see this every friggin’ day. And now we are losing our women’s spaces, our girls are being groomed for whoredom earlier than ever before, and herstory is still not allowed to be taught in schools.
Let’s just skim the surface with a few examples of why all men are the worst. Remember that there are thousands of years of conveniently and deliberately erased examples of female destruction at the hands of every group of men that has ever existed. We all descend from rapists. Every. Single. One. Of us.
I live in China, where 99.99% of the men here are Chinese. My Chinese female students (20 years old) are already being pressured into and groomed for marriage despite being allowed to attend university – especially since women are in short supply compared to the number of men. There is no opting out. Talk about sexual slavery… Chinese men are worst.
A few years ago, while in L.A., I went to the creepy crawly Museum of Death. There is all sorts of fetishistic shit there in addition to historic news footage and genuinely interesting stuff on cultural death ritual. I was stopped short in front of a television set playing footage from Africa where a group of about 200 black African men had ganged up on a single lone black African woman stripping beating and raping her. She died in the end. Her ‘crime’? Who the fuck knows. Being a woman? Black African men are the worst.
A couple of years ago, in India, a woman was gang raped to death on a public bus. Further, there are an estimated 3 million female prostitutes in India, almost half of whom are under 18 years of age. Many of these girls are born into prostitution families or sold by their families into this kind of slavery. Indian men are the worst.
White men are leading the pack of rabid, violent, narcissistic, misogynist, middle-aged, autogynopheliac, pedophilic, ex-military, rape-apologist trannies. (And you can pick and choose which adjectives apply. At least one does to every trannie out there.) And white men, gay and straight, are upholding these men’s rights to minstrelize women, and erase their biological reality, their voices of dissent, their spaces, and their very few political rights. White men are the worst.
Muslim men are well known for their barbarism and hatred of women. They cut off clitorises and sew up vaginal openings and rape and kill women in the name of ‘honour’ and Allah all over the world. My own country tolerates all of this under the banner of ‘cultural sensitivity’. Muslim men had a rape and assault-fest of white women in Germany and Sweden over this past year, and it has been brushed under the carpet and the white women chided and blamed for being cunts and whores who were just asking for it. Muslim refugee rapist men are being welcomed into Western countries in droves. Myself, I was nearly killed by a group of them in Belgium 20 years ago, and then later in Canada, brutally raped by a Muslim of my acquaintance. Muslim men (including Arab, black, and Asian Muslims) are the worst.
And Christian men are the worst. Jewish men are the worst. Men of any and all ages are the worst. Aboriginal men are the worst. Disabled men are the worst. Homeless men are the worst. Conservative men are the worst. Liberal men are the worst. Gay men are the worst. I could go on and on and on.
The point here is this: men are men. They are all WORSE. White men aren’t the worst. They are ALL the worst. Having brown skin doesn’t make you more noble or empathetic or somehow above violence against women. XY = male = violent = woman-hating. Special exceptions? They still benefit from this violence, and I haven’t met a single one who devotes his life to freeing women from violence and oppression. Any ‘help’ comes at a price. Never forget that. No one is worse than anyone else.
Occasionally, I’ll talk about communism with my students. It doesn’t happen often. For one, I think a lot of them aren’t that interested. It ain’t the 1950’s or 1960’s anymore, and none of my students was alive through the scary part of it. As well, it is not necessarily all that safe to talk about it in public, especially if we are critiquing it. There are unspoken rules about what you can criticize and how far you can go. I remember going out for lunch with a university professor in Mao’s home province (Hunan) where I worked about 6 years ago, and he refused to talk about communism at all, and got very, very nervous and quiet. We changed the subject.
Despite what you see in the news about China’s modernizing, things are still, under the surface, very controlled here. Every high school, college and university has a communist student group on campus, and even my PhD students must take a required course in Marxism during their program, even though they have been taking the exact same course almost every year of their student lives. (How often is too often…?) Many students join the communist student group despite having no passion whatsoever for or connection to the ideals, because it is well known that you’ll create a network, gain ‘face’ and have better career prospects if you do so. And interestingly, over the years, I always have at least a few gung-ho communist students who’ll try to talk about that great man, Mao, in class every chance they get – and they remind me strangely of fundamentalist Christians, Jews or Muslims I’ve encountered who can’t shut the fuck up about their beliefs. Fanatics are fanatics no matter what the flavour of kool-aid. It has been suggested more than once by Chinese I know that there may or may not be spies in my classes – a student placed by the communist groups to ‘keep tabs on things’. Who the hell knows…?
But despite the persistence of communism here in China, capitalism has gained momentum, unfortunately. It is a weird world where they exist side by side. I brought this up to one of my masters students recently, and he said with a laugh, “Well, yeah, we need capitalism to pay for the communism.” I thought that was pretty funny. And true.***
Now, personally, I’m not a big fan. But neither am I a capitalist. I don’t think I can subscribe to any political or economic system that men come up with, to be honest. Whatever the ideals, men will ruin it. Men function on domination and hierarchy and hatred of women. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that communism didn’t work. Men can posit ‘equality’ all they want – but they can’t do without their power struggles and rapey nature. Equality is good, men will tell you, as long as they get what they themselves want. Yeah, remember that British fuck I wrote about earlier (here and here)? He loves China and loves communism. We waxes poetic about how much he loves dictatorship and censorship, and how necessary they are – with a straight face, I might add. But if you poke a little, you’ll get what you’re looking for. As long as HE lives outside the restrictions. How’s that saying go? Dictatorship is great, as long as you’re the dictator… That’s how it rolls with men. They’d never make communism work, and to be honest, I find capitalism a much more honest expression of the male ego. A house of cards built out of delusions and promises of freedom, equal opportunity, and abundance. Yeah, that hasn’t worked for most people, and still they cling…
Anyhow, back to the East. There is an historical site not far from where I work that I’ve visited a few times. It’s a place I’d take any visitor as there is a lot of cool stuff to see and watch: architecture, traditional performances, traditional food, etc. Outside an old (Mao-communist era) film house, there is a write up on the wall about posters. [See the shots I snapped below.] China was really into politically-motivated posters during this time. There were the occasional advertisments of goods and services, despite being much less on offer than now. Quite a bit of the write-up talked about women and the perception of women during this era. And I will say one positive thing about old Communist China. Women weren’t anywhere near as exploited as they are in capitalist times or in places running on capitalism. As you can read in the attached photos below, when women appeared in posters and advertisements, they weren’t sold as sex. They were humans with a new vital role to play in society. They were workers, students, soldiers. Robust, hard-working and energetic. Not whorish objects – things – to be consumed by men. They were clothed like rest of the humans (men) in the posters. Dressed for respect. [I actually like communist fashion, I have to admit. Keyword: comfortable.] They didn’t look helpless. They were role models to be looked up to by men and women alike. I have no doubt that women were still abused by men off-stage. You can’t have a world with men in it where women aren’t abused. Not possible. Men would never go for that in a million years. Dicks must stay hard, right!?! But at least, under Mao, the rape and destruction of women weren’t glorified in public as entertainment and marketing tools, as they are in the putrid West, and sadly, as they are fast becoming in modern China (with the whorification of white women leading the way here – thanks capitalism!!!)
So why the fuck can’t we keep this good part of communism – the publicly accepted, respected, human side of women – and throw out the fanaticism, propaganda, demand to conform, and punishment for intellectualism? Can we not develop a freedom-based system where women are independent, powerful, respected, and separate from male definitions of sexuality? No. Not in my opinion. As long as males are alive, dictatorship of one sort (capitalism, liberalism, etc) or another (communism) will always exist, with women under the male boot.
*** You might be reading and thinking, ‘Those crazy communists.” or “Those crazy Chinese.” But you know, the West is just as fucked up, but in a different way, and in some ways, I prefer the weirdness of capito-communist China. The West is experiencing its own psychotic break from reality with the whole trannie movement. Women are being silenced, censored, no-platformed, erased as biological beings, and literally abused, and even raped and killed, by a tiny, powerful group of dangerous, delusional men who have scared politicians, the media, and the government shitless. How is this any more frightening than the censoring of the Chinese government? At least, the Chinese censor men and women alike. The West hates women with a regressive passion not seen since… when? Decades ago? A century ago? I’m too embarrassed to bring up trans bullshit and identity politics with my Chinese students. They’d laugh their asses off. Seriously.
I have something serious to say, but I’ll start it off with some light-hearted fun. After all, we all know that being female in this day and age and having to deal with the constant male-created obstacles to true humanity is exhausting and depressing and downright dangerous, sometimes. Blowing off some steam every once in a while is an absolute must. So I’ll break this into two parts. The fun part and the serious part.
Part I: Get your trans on!
I’ve discovered a ‘make your own trannie’ site!!!!1!
Well, okay. That’s not what it is called and that is not what it is supposed to be for. It’s actually a very harmful site geared towards teenaged and pre-teen girls who already deeply hate themselves and who have been heavily indoctrinated into the cult of whoredom otherwise known as The World Under Patriarchy.
Yeah, it’s Seventeen Magazine online. And their message is “Welcome to life as a woman, you ugly, worthless bitch!”
What Seventeen offers us laydees is the opportunity to upload photos of our normal, ugly selves and then gives us the tools to dream of what could be… with enough money and self-loathing and insecurity, that is. They fulfill several of the Patriarchal goals: wasting the time and money of females (two things that would help women become independent of men), reinforcing the idea of women as sex and of having one’s value wrapped up in saleable fuckability, and hammering home the idea of inadequacy and self-hatred.
Now for those of us who don’t comply with femininity, who realized early on that wearing make-up makes you look like a cheap clown, and who couldn’t apply eyeliner properly to save our lives, this tool ends up being a hilarious diversion. Or… a helpful assistant in the development of a blog post. Upload photos of men and in less than 5 minutes, you have your own brand-spanking new M2T ready to totter off down the street in stilettos. When I was a child, we didn’t have computers to mess around with, so I had to settle for cross-dressing my Barbie and Ken dolls. (Luckily, no one in my family knew or cared.) If I were a kid these days, I’d be online, trannifying every boy in my class.
Now, in order to avoid publishing photos of dudes who might actually be recognized, I located some computer-generated pics of males that were used in an oh-so-important psych experiment on attractiveness (I’ll save you the mystery of the study findings: human people find computer-generated images more attractive than images of actual people. I prefer men on paper rather than in reality too, but I don’t think that is quite what the study findings were getting at…) So, I uploaded two photos of men to Seventeen, and went to work, sweet memories of trying desperately to snap Barbie’s bikini top closed around Ken’s thick masculine torso swimming in the recesses of my mind. When I discovered velcro and elastic, back in my childhood sewing days, I was in heaven. And so were the dolls 😉
In case anyone is wondering, Comp-gen male #1 was given a Kiera Knightly hairdo. Comp-gen dude #2 got the Bella Thorne up-do.
Part II: How the fuck do I tell the difference?
But the original purpose of this post was not to waste time making boys look like stereotyped versions of girls. I can’t imagine that being fun for very long (for me, that is) – I actually prefer doing algebra, to be honest. No, I really just wanted to ask a question. The question concerns an ability all men think all women have, and when it turns out we don’t, and men’s feelings get hurt, we get blamed instead. The ability is this: all women are supposed to innately be able to tell the difference between a sweet, little, innocent man and a rapist. A kind of ‘rapist radar’, if you will. In reality, no women has this. Sometimes, a really creepy dude will set off ‘alarm bells’ in you head, or you’ll get a gut feeling about a dude. But really, women don’t have this magical ability to sort men into two boxes. Rapist and non-rapist. Scary piece of shit and Nice Guy™. What women end up doing instead is naturally fearing ALL men. You’d have to be a complete dingbat (or thoroughly destroyed inside) not to. Given how pervasive violence against women is, and how few shits the powers that be (men) give about women’s safety and rights, the correct position for women to take is to fear all men at all times.
Men don’t like this. They constantly complain that they are ‘not like that’, that women are unfair, and that they hurt men’s fragile little feelings when they react to them with fear or mistrust. Trannies (M2Ts) – the uber-males of the cult of gender fetishizing – are much worse. First, they are mentally ill; second, they are very entitled due to the whole male privilege/rapist class status thing; and third, they have constructed a narrative of false oppression that is necessary to maintaining their delusion that they are female and that allows them to justify obliterating women’s very necessary boundaries.
So tell me this:
Can you tell which one of these two dudes will hurt you?
What about these two dudes?
Right. You can’t tell. It could be all of them, or one of them, or none of them. And until a radar is developed that will lock down a violent predator before he can act, women’s spaces must be preserved, the law must reflect the needs of women and their safety, and men must listen to the word ‘no’ and get it through their heads that being a special unicorn and not a rapist is irrelevant. Your feelings are nothing compared to women’s safety and basic freedom. It is the height of arrogance and narcissism not to be able to see this. All men, every single one of you, including trannie pervs, benefit from the effects of violence against women. And you know this is true – or else you would be fighting tooth and nail to end it. And by the way, even if this radar could be developed, women still need their own space away from men. That should never be on the table for elimination.
I can’t believe I blocked this out, as I had intended to write about this social experiment earlier. It is directly connected to my previous post on fighting back against men using humiliation and shame as effective tools. Thanks to some email correspondence with another blogger (you know who you are 🙂 ), my memory was jogged, and here is an unplanned part two of that post.
My father was a clinical psychologist and sex therapist, and as I later became aware and able to articulate, a misogynist dickface. He knew little about child or female psychology despite having studied and treated both populations, but he sure as fuck knew something about male psychology. Perhaps not on an insightful level that might have been put to widespread good use for womankind, but it came in handy for me one day when I found myself in yet another physically abusive situation at the hands of a male. This time, I was in the 11th grade (for non-Canadians, this would be age 16).
The physical, sexual and psychological abuse of girls starts at birth and only gets worse as you get older and as boys grow comfortably into their socially-rewarded natural proclivity for the sado-sexual abuse of females.
No stranger to sucker punches to the gut and crotch, sexual assault, being surrounded and kicked and humiliated and chased and stalked by boys from the age of 5 – yanno, when formal schooling starts – I found myself in Grade 11 with a new admirer.
Let’s call him Shitlord. I can’t remember his real name, and this one is better suited to him anyhow.
A couple of times a week, I had Spanish class, following which, like all students, I would exit the classroom to move on to another room for another class. Nothing unusual about that. But at some point early in the semester, exiting that classroom became something to dread. You see, a boy – a classmate of my sister’s actually – had class in the same room right after I did. I didn’t know Shitlord, but for some reason, he knew me. And he took it upon himself to show up early, position himself just outside the door to the classroom out of view, and to trip me as I exited so that I fell flat on my face. He found it enjoyable. I didn’t.
Now, I wasn’t large and I wasn’t small. But I was strong for a girl. At the age of 16, my father took sick pleasure in pitting me against his 30-something-year-old male friends in arm wrestling matches. Most times, I nearly won. It was amusement for the men-folk. But despite this acknowledged strength, I wasn’t a naturally violent or aggressive person. And the indoctrination of females can render their physical strength useless, much of the time. I was horribly shy, depressed and anxious, and as a female from a hardcore emotionally abusive household, rather terrified of standing up for myself and rather confused about what normal behaviour towards girls was actually supposed to look like. I usually accepted emotional and psychological and sometimes sexual abuse, since that was ‘normal’ for me, but I was pretty sure what physical abuse was. And I didn’t fucking like it. And I hated being humiliated in public as well. Ending up sprawled on the floor with everyone laughing at you is humiliating.
So one day, my suppressed rage was unleashed. I leaped to my feat and took this boy by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the bank of lockers with some choice language and cocked my fist. It was easy to do and I probably could have beat the shit out of him, to be honest. He wasn’t a huge boy. It was doable. But he laughed at me. It was in public, and I was just a girl. Boys aren’t physically afraid of girls usually. I desisted somehow realizing that while it might be satisfying to physically dominate Shitlord, it probably wouldn’t end well for me.
So uncharacteristically, I approached the father figure for some advice. I knew that I’d need another tactic, if there were indeed other tactics available. And at 16, I knew I might be able to get some help from a master manipulator. And oh boy, I knew what a mind-fucker a psychologist could be.
Dr. Dad listened to the problem and suggested the following. “You need to embarrass him. This guy is a bully. He is insecure. Beating him up won’t do anything. Find a way to embarrass him in front of his friends.”
So I thought about it. And an opportunity came up the following week. We had two lunch periods at my school, and I discovered that Shitlord had P.E. class during my lunch on one of the days. I had been eating my brown bag lunch outside with a friend and we were sitting on the bleachers of the football/soccer field. And out pranced Shitlord’s male gym class. They were learning to toss footballs. I saw my chance. I called out, “Shitlord!!! Hi!!! Hello honey!!! I love youuuuu!!! You are so sexy!!! I love watching you!!! Throw the football more!!!! So hot!!!” I made kissy faces and gestures. Over the top. All the guys started laughing at Shitlord. He looked pee-in-his-pants uncomfortable. And my girlfriend and I laughed and waved for the entire class period making sure Shitlord was self-conscious and uncomfortable the whole time.
And that stupid, violent piece of shit never bothered me again. In fact, I never again saw him waiting outside my classroom as I exited after that.
The moral of the story is that you have to know your enemy. You have to study them to find out what will work against them. It ain’t one-size-fits-all. Find their weaknesses. For most, avoidance is the best thing to try first, although we are frequently forced to interact with them. So to stop them, study them. For some, you do have to be violent in response to them. For others, you have to engage in serious mind-fuckery. Some will respond nicely to you using their own tactics against them. And for some, like simpleton bullies such as Shitlord, some basic public humiliation will do the trick nicely. There is always a weakness.
Keep in mind that all men have power over you as a woman. You are at an automatic disadvantage on many levels when your opponent is male, and you are at even more of a disadvantage if the male can rely upon some ‘oppression’ status (race, low SES, trannie/M2T, etc) to use an excuse for hurting you or blind authorities and the public to the most important thing: male abuse of female. Some male enemies are formidable due to other power advantages such as money or political clout, a history of violence which lends them confidence and cockiness, or mental health status (psychopaths are fucking dangerous). Always have back up if you engage in direct interaction. Document everything they do to you. Try to establish witnesses. Keep a paper and/or video and/or audio trail of everything they do to you and any interaction you have with them. Be careful about initiating anything that could be construed as an unprovoked attack even if you are setting up a trap to catch them in their abuse. For most average non-psychopathic/non-narcissistic dudes, shame and humiliation are the most effective defense strategies you have against them. My father would likely say the same thing if you asked him. You usually won’t stop a dude physically without a weapon, and you can make your own decision about whether that is an option for you… In violent situations, which is unfortunately what so many women are forced to deal with, always go to the police, even it if is only to document incidents. The police are generally not friends to women, and often dismiss what women have to say, but it may help in establishing a credible pattern of abuse. But I refuse to accept what all women are told: that’s life, life is unfair, you just have to accept it and be positive.
I have had a little bit of success with non-psychopathic men in situations that are not physically dangerous. In this case, it is about reprogramming the programmed female response to males (submission) and sometimes using male psychological and conversation tactics against men:
- Stopping misogynist conversation bullying by using male derail tactics
- How to avoid being sucked into an abusive online convo with a male ‘feminist’
- Ignoring narcissists: stopping abuse and energy-suckage before it starts
Margaret Atwood said with great insight that men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are also afraid of this, but humiliation and shame absolutely pale in comparison to all the other things we fear from them because of male inborn and socialized sadism. Men live free and clear, with no real threat from women. But, from a young age, girls learn from repeat experience that they need to fear men for rape, sexual assault, stalking, beatings, torture, disease, pregnancy, permanent injury, and loss of life.
Also note that as a female, it is not your job to ‘fix’ men and boys or to try to figure out why the dumb shits do what they do to women and girls. It is your job to take care of yourself the best way you can and by using whatever means necessary to fend off male abuse. If humiliating abusive males seems ‘unfair’ to you, ask yourself who started it it all in the first place (answer: men) and whether putting females into horrible situations is fair.
Male offense = crime, oppression.
Female defense = completely justified, necessary for health and survival.
Humiliation and shaming are important tools in the arsenal that men are handed at birth to be used mostly against girls and women. One of the fastest ways to get females to comply or to desist is to take a behaviour that has been forced on them and to make them feel dirty and evil for doing it. A super-nova mindfuck if there ever was one.
There are few countries more adept at passive-aggressive fuckery than China. It is an accepted practice in all environments to psychologically destroy people. Public shaming and humiliation – and the key part in a hive-mind culture is the PUBLIC part of this – is a well-loved tactic. When I lived in the Chinese countryside several years ago, I remember walking past one of the community bulletin boards. A communist leader had posted some photos that were part of the official government record and they told the story of several public humiliations. I wish I’d photographed the photos at the time – I wish I’d done that with a lot of the shit I saw in what I consider to be ‘real China’, the countryside, the China that most of the world never, ever sees – it seemed very medieval to me. In a nutshell, in each photo was depicted a person who was clearly some kind of criminal. A sign had been hung around their neck and they were stood in front of the community who all looked on. Public humiliation and shaming. Arrest wasn’t enough of a punishment. The people had to be made an example publicly. It is an extraordinarily effective form of punishment.
And it is commonly used on women.
In a recent post, Radical Witch pointed out astutely that in no country do cops take the harm and subjugation of women seriously. In fact, they often support it and participate in it. They are mostly men, working in an aggressive, power-driven field. They have everything to gain by destroying women. China is no different.
Some photos have come out demonstrating how the police treat prostitutes in China.
Prostitution is illegal in China. But like all males in the world, Chinese men love it, want it, use it, and publicly denigrate the fact that it exists, and more importantly, the women who become trapped in it. And prostitution is rampant. The government calls it illegal, but all officials use prostitutes during their meetings and official visits. And then, every once in a while, something like what is depicted in the photos above happens. Only men win here.
Several years ago, I was taking some Chinese classes, and I was talking to one British dude who worked as a chemist and a manager in a toxic chemical plant in Southern China. He was in charge of meeting with Chinese government officials in order to do health and safety checks. As he recalled one event, the officials showed up, completely hand-waved the inspections away, and waited for him to provide the food, drink and prostitutes. This is very, very standard for China. Revelry and debauchery on the public dime (rmb) and then signatures on crucial documents that are supposed to make sure workers have safe environments and that the environment is safe from human dealings.
So here is my question. Why the fuck don’t we start publicly humiliating men for the shit they do to women? And I mean serious public humiliation. As it is, public knowledge of a politician sending a dick pic or getting caught with prostitutes does nothing to stop him from further success – especially if he is religious. But let’s parade him naked in public. Let’s measure his dick on camera and make comments about its inadequacy. Let’s pose him in a degrading pose he forced upon the prostitutes he used and laugh at him. I mean seriously, if this stuff is acceptable and effective against women who have done nothing wrong other than try to survive in a world that hates them, I’m willing to try it on men – cops, politicians, CEOs, and hell, regular guys! – to stop their actual crimes. We’ll see how much longer they continue raping and murdering and torturing and threatening if there are actual, serious consequences for their actions.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Except in this case, it would be justified and reasonable. And fuck it, I love social experiments.
About a year-and-a-half ago, I was in Los Angeles, and one night, I found myself standing in line for some comedy event with a male friend who is no longer really a friend. He was becoming increasingly terrified of my increasingly frequent feminist commentary. I mean, shit, L.A. is the rape culture factory of the United States (and thus, the world). And friendo works in The Biz (Hollywood/Entertainment, for those who don’t know). He profits directly from rape culture as well as profits, as a man, off of actual rape, the threat of rape, and the dehumanizing effects of rape culture. Of course, he was terrified. I was pointing out that his little world as well as the world at large aren’t quite as fun and innocent as men would like (to force) us to think. And through my growing outspokenness, I learned that despite having known each other for almost 20 years, talking about feminism was not a welcome new addition to our relationship. Ah, the truth unveils itself as it always does, and it hurts to find out how much even long-time male friends only conditionally like you…
So, we’re standing there, and friendo points out a black dude who is seemingly working the event and who is wearing a t-shirt with Marie Shear’s famous and frequently misattributed quote: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” on it. Freindo wanted a head pat for noticing that and pointing it out, and likely, black dude wanted a blow job for the seriously radical act of wearing that t-shirt. “I’m a feminist, like seriously!” Indeed, young white girls were buzzing around the latter like bees to a flower. Sigh. Black dudes have waaaaaaaay more privilege than even the precious white girls that the world hates passionately and thinks exist outside oppression. Total bullshit – black dudes are oppressors too, oh yes they are. Never forget that all men have privilege over all women. Penis trumps vagina, always, always, always. Anyhow, the only real feminist act happening in this whole scenario was my defiant refusal to hand out cookies to the whole lot of them from friendo to male feminist to silly, obsequious, little, librul-neo-fem slave-girls. You see, noting anomalies in male behaviour, pointing out ‘activism’, wearing clothes, and rewarding men for not raping, are in no way, shape, or form feminist acts.
But, but, but we must show our gratitude! We must reward men for not raping us or noticing we have brains in addition to fuckholes, tits and asses!
No. No, we don’t need to do that at all. First, there is no such thing as a male feminist (see all my posts in the Wolves in Women’s Clothing series for further discussion of this). Men never do anything without a selfish reason or without expectation of reward. And, sure as shit, if a man sees a commentary like the one I’m providing – the refusal to reward him for the barest of a good deed or shred of humanity – he will pull his support and issue some choice misogynist slurs that completely betray his ulterior motivation (Him: “Why do I even bother trying to help cunts like you?!?” Me: “Um, you bother so that you’ll get your dick sucked. I refused to do that, so you call me a cunt. Interesting take on human rights activism…”)
If men want to activate for women, it should be among men, and it shouldn’t be attached to some expectation of attention or reward. That is called being human, not a superhero. Women don’t need to thank men for being human. We have been socialized to give men all our attention and adoration and gratitude for not unleashing their privilege-driven violence upon our bodies and minds. And it needs to stop. No real progress can be made otherwise.
If you (men) are truly feminist allies, you’ll leave women alone and work your anti-misogyny magic among the men who hate and hurt us daily. You’ll keep your voice off feminist blogs, while still reading and learning. You’ll keep your penises out of women, to avoid putting their lives in danger repeatedly. Thank you in advance, but keep in mind, you’ll have to bake your own cookies.
If you (women) are truly feminists, you’ll free yourself from gratitude-driven cock-sucking, and pour it into your own health first, and if you really, really need to activate, into women less free than you. It is actually more fair to men to just treat them like any other person. You don’t do them any favours by supporting/enabling their entitlement and inflating their already-large egos. If you really must express your thanks, thank women for adopting feminism. Thank radical feminists for fighting for your rights and putting themselves in harm’s way for you. Thank feminist lesbians for not supporting mandatory heterosexuality. Thank the brave women for fighting against the trannie erasure of you, your biological reality, and your rights and safety. There are so many better outlets for your gratitude. And besides, too much time spent on your knees is bad for your joints, and makes for a very limited view of the world. You deserve better.
Are you a fan of Peter Pan? I am decidedly not. Most children’s stories and fairy tales are borne of the male mind and rife with misogyny and cock worship. Peter Pan is especially reflective of the male ‘creative’ mind; not only is it woman-hating, but it is highly androcentric and male dominant. But at least it is asexual (we all really want to be free and childlike) and is probably the most honest fairy tale out there regarding separatist fantasy and a scenario best suited to humans. This last part is the only part I could possibly claim to like. I strongly suspect that humans aren’t really designed to fuck or think about fucking 24/7, and thus, heterosexuality is much more socially constructed than most people believe – designed to keep women in submission and ensure that males survive. I think both sexes would breathe a sigh of relief if they found themselves completely and permanently sex-segregated and able to either be their natural selves: asexual (primarily) or homosexual. Women would be free, happy and would thrive, and men would be free, happy, but would ultimately self-destruct/die out. Male die-out and the extra services women provide to men for free are the only reasons, in my opinion, that men construct and enforce both heterosexuality and hypersexuality. There is nothing ‘natural’ about female dick-servicing or non-stop fucking.
But I digress.
Let’s get to one of the two primary female characters in Peter Pan: Tinkerbell. (I’ll refer to character descriptions from Disney fan sites here.)
Tink is a male construction of ideal female. She isn’t a girl, but a female tinker fairy. But everything she does shows how much she wants to be a real girl and to be included in and accepted by the humans. She is cute. She is dainty. She is feminine. She is feisty. She is devoted to cock supremacy. And she hates Wendy – the other primary female character, a human girl. She is incredibly “disgusted” and “irritated” with and “jealous” of Wendy and particularly nasty to her. Even “murderous”. She is very much like women are forced to be of, with and to each other in real life thanks to male socialization. Wendy is a soft, pretty, submissive ‘real girl’. Tink refers to her as an “ugly old girl”. She only comes to sort of ‘like’ Wendy when the latter fully submits and shows her loyalty to Tink and those who Tink values.
Does any of this male supremacist bullshit sound familiar?
Well, cue the Trans, the ultimate woman-hating, male supremacist characters. Let’s do some substitution and see how the comparison holds up.
M2T – those men who dress up in minstrelesque lady-face – are the ultimate male supremacists and play Tinkerbell to all other men.
Trans is a male construction of ideal female. They aren’t girls, but males. But everything they do shows how much they want to be real girls and to be included in and accepted by the real males and females. They try to do the cutesy thing. They try to be dainty. They try to be feminine. They act girl-feisty. They are devoted to cock supremacy. And they hate all females – the real human girls/women. They are incredibly “disgusted” and “irritated” with and “jealous” of females and particularly nasty to them. Even “murderous”. They act very much like women are forced to be of, with and to each other in real life thanks to male socialization. They serve to reinforce this forced socialization, in fact. Trans refer to oppositional, defiant real women as an “ugly old girl” (as well as fish, cis, cunts, etc.). They only come to sort of ‘like’ real women when the latter fully submit and show their loyalty to Trans and those who Trans value.
Here’s the thing though. Both Tink and Trans say that everyone must believe in them for them to exist. And while that might be true of the fictional fairy tale character, Tink, in fantasy land, it doesn’t hold for Trans. Trans still exist no matter what anyone believes. They are humans. They are males. We all know they exist in that respect. But their fragile delusions of womanhood don’t exist no matter how many people they can get to clap their hands and chant the Trans-mantra.
Male = Male. Forever. Times a million billion trillion.
This is a companion piece to that snore-fest of a misogynist classic, Scent of a Woman, starring tired old typecast actor, Al Pacino.
Soooo, let’s pretend I’m blind. All my other senses are heightened. I’m not going to go so far as to say I can identify individuals, unlike the Pacino-pornhound, but I will say this: no matter where I go in the world, my nose knows when I’ve entered or passed a place where men go. And by ‘go’, I’m not just talking location, but also the euphemism.
Yep. I mean urine.
Male urine is one of the worst smells in the world, up there with male jizz and dead bodies/rotting meat. (I’d rather smell poop or farts than those other three, actually.) But you don’t need to be blind or bolstered by heightened olfactory powers to know when males are lurking and leaking. First, they piss everywhere! Not just in washrooms, but in public. On my most recent trip to the US, the very first smell to greet me when I alit from the public transport from the airport was male urine. And the first thought to go through my mind as I choked and tried to breathe was first ‘Welcome to America!’ but I quickly revised it to ‘Same smell, different country’. Interestingly, that smell was the last one I experienced before I boarded public transportation in China on my way to the US. Only my location had changed. The smell was the same. I realized that male wee is the great globalizer. McDonald’s or Walmart may peddle the globalizing shit, but male bodies, literally, produce the globalizing piss. And while all serve to make you feel a sense of familiarity no matter where you are, the urine does so more than anything else because olfactory memory, especially paired with fear and disgust, tends to be one of the most powerful mind-fucks. That scent alone will remind you who is in charge (men), who is destroying the world (men), and of whom you need to be afraid (men).
There are reminders of this power in the form of piss and pissing everywhere you go. One example from my world: I was walking down a busy street in China two days ago in broad daylight, and a dude ahead of me stepped off the sidewalk, unzipped his fly and let loose right then and there under the trees lining the walk. No shame. Just pure, unadulterated male privilege. The privilege to be completely safe while uncovered. The privilege to go unquestioned while exposing genitals. The privilege to filth up common space with human waste. Imagine a woman doing that. Wouldn’t happen. She’d end up raped, beaten, shamed and/or arrested. Children, as well, are given a free pass, especially if they are male. Chinese mothers teach their boys from a young age that they don’t need to learn to control their urges. Male urges must be given precedence over everything else, including public health and safety. I don’t wish to see cock in public EVER, yet I see little-boy dick absolutely everywhere I go in China, even in ‘civilized’ places. Little-boy dick pissing on the sidewalk, on trees, in the street from the curb. Who the fuck wants to be reminded of their masters’ presence on a constant basis?
But let’s get to the toilets. Even in countries where males are sort of required to limit their urination to designated areas (like that is possible…), these places often stink much more than women’s toilets. Part of it might be the spray factor. This need to stand and spray isn’t human, but rather, pure, unthinking animal. Men really should sit down to pee. Basic logic. But given the world we live in, men don’t have to think about their grossness and entitlement because either a woman is cleaning up after them or they just live in their own filth without noticing. I can’t imagine ever again sharing a residential space, including a bathroom, with a male.
In China and other places without a strict cleanliness mentality or understanding of basic hygiene, and with out-of-control populations (meaning high volume male urinating), and with poor plumbing systems, the bathrooms are absolutely disgusting. I even find the women’s bathrooms in China horrific. They stink. Part of the problem is cleaning mentality. People very much believe that if someone is employed to clean, then they can be as filthy and inconsiderate as they want. They leave urine, blood and shit everywhere – for someone else to clean up. But unfortunately, the cleaners seldom know how to clean properly or care about cleaning properly. Another part of the problem is the design of squat toilets. Unlike with the Western sit-down toilet, the squatter bowls are open and shallow. Unless you can force your piss stream to a trickle or position yourself directly over the small hole at the very end of the long and very shallow bowl, urine bounces off the porcelain and sprays absolutely everywhere. Gross.
But the male toilets in China? #$%@! Unlike the women’s, I can smell them from 100 feet away. Directly passing by them is an eye-watering, brain-cell-killing, throat burning, lung-emptying experience. My swearing reflex, much like a gag-reflex, is triggered every time. When I taught high school in the Chinese countryside several years ago, my poor American colleague’s classroom was situated right beside one of the male toilets. Her room was permanently tainted by the smell of wee. Male wee. It must have gotten into the wood of the students’ desks. So, even with the door closed during a low-urination time of day, it was suffocating. I felt so bad for her. I was luckier with my classroom placement.
Now, I got curious. Not that curious – not all-day research curious – just a little. Male stench can’t just be a plumbing or cleaning or entitlement problem, right? There has got to be a difference in male and female urine. I can’t deny what my nose, throat, eyes, and lungs constantly tell me. I read that there are differences in male cat urine (felinine protein for marking territory) and male mouse urine ((methylthio)methanethiol which attracts females), for example. Scientific inquiry (or lack thereof) indicates that there is nothing that really explains why male and female urine might smell differently. The implication is that it must be all in one’s head (and, goddammit, one’s throat and nose…), of course. Individually, urine smell can be affected by dehydration, types of food eaten, and disease conditions. After a cursory look, there is no conclusion that excreted hormones account for male stench. Who knows what is true? Either there is no difference (hard to believe), or men are abusing science to prove they are not gross, or the science hasn’t been done because it is more important to fund studies trying to prove women are natural, abusable fuckholes. I found one poorly written pop-sciencey/interpretation article written by an unintelligent, male-identified woman trying to imply a link (where no link exists) between mice and humans. Sorry lady, women are not fucking ‘turned on’ by the smell of male wee. Quite the opposite… Quite the opposite indeed… The smell of men inspires violent urges in me, actually.
Regardless of whether there is a difference in urine – really, that is not the point here, and I don’t really care – there is still a conclusion to be made. Men stink, and they need to pee in designated places, sit down while they do it, and clean the fuck up after themselves – especially if they are using residential bathrooms or dual-sex/unisex bathrooms where women are forced to use the same facilities. And this is yet another reason to keep male trannies out of the women’s toilets, btw. And their man-pee stench will give them away as dudes even if the bad wig and smirking entitlement don’t. Aside from the fear/intimidation, safety and violence issues, and usurping women’s status and rights issues, trannie men stink, too, and they should put their stinky male urine where it belongs – THE MEN’S ROOM.
Requiring men to self-regulate is not a human rights abuse. It is a tempering of ages-old privilege and infringement upon the rights of women.
I had a rather delightful day on Saturday. I mentioned in a previous post that I was invited to a little grass roots English club. Out of this encounter, I’ve acquired some new mentees. It’s a mixed sex group. I’m quite pleased to have young women present, and I’ve likely mentioned in at least one past post that as a survival mechanism, I de-sex the male students so that I can bear to be around them. In other words, I go out with a group of young women and young students (males). Any outings I have with groups such as these are generally pleasant. If it were unbearable, I wouldn’t do it. I go places I may not have been before, I learn about local culture and history, try new food and new restaurants, and if I’m very lucky, I can give the young women a chance to talk about anything they want. It is my frequent impression that they are not really allowed to voice their deepest concerns or fears. I exist outside their cultural paradigm, and I think that makes me less threatening in a sense.
On Saturday, a group of five students (two females and three students) and I arranged to visit two culturally important venues in our city. It was actually a heap of fun and ended with a glorious meal at a restaurant with Dongbei cuisine. But at one point, the two young women began talking about marriage, which immediately put me on edge. I frequently have to deal with incredulous reactions to being unmarried and child-free. I am on the receiving end of concern, surprise, disapproval, and very, very, very occasionally jealousy. Mostly, it is annoying. I’ve spent my life being told how abnormal I am, that there is something ‘wrong’ with me, and there is always this valuation/appraisal of my human status no matter what culture I live in. Only women deal with this. Even if a man is questioned on his status, which he frequently isn’t, there is no value judgment made of him. Marital and parenthood status does not affect men. With women, you can be denied employment because you are assumed to be defective or lacking an important human quality that magically affects your ability to do work.
But I’m pretty much used to the disdain and questioning. I used to try to justify myself. I don’t do that anymore. Sometimes, I’m downright honest about the whole mess that is female slavery. By the time I’m sixty, I’ll be right salty!
One thing that makes me very sad in places like China is that women have no choice whatsoever about their slavery. Western women have much more choice when it comes to their fates. I get why and how Western women buy into the heterosexuality mandate and why they still cave under the social pressure (which is real, but seldom a life or death situation) to sell their vaginas, uteri, and physical, emotional and psychological energy to men who may not even be the highest bidders. But at the same time, it is bizarre to me and fucks me off to no end. The threat of punishment keeps the majority of women cowering and doing their duty. Those of us who have disobeyed have suffered and will suffer in old age for these important defiances.We help our enslaved sisters when they inevitably suffer at the hands of their Nigels, but we don’t get help in return when we are alone, old, injured or unable to support ourselves. Sigh.
But while I feel fortunate in some ways (economically poor, but somewhat psychologically free) for not being forcefully enslaved, despite my lower status among women and the recipient of punishment no matter where I live, most women in the world really have no choice at all. In China, I’ve never met a single woman who has managed to escape forced marriage and forced motherhood. But I have met a handful of girls who say they don’t want that life for themselves. And I get strong impressions from each of them that they are lesbians or completely sexually naive or asexual. These women, I have great sympathy for. Non-compliance is a much more serious issue here.
On Saturday, one of the young women told me repeatedly in amazement and with some envy that I was so independent. She couldn’t believe my father didn’t push me into anything (I permanently left my mother’s control when I was 20, and the pressure hadn’t started from her at that point in my life). The young woman quietly told me that she didn’t want to get married at all. Interestingly and with insight and sadness, she told me that she wished she did want it. This young woman knows what is in store for her. She knows how difficult something can be when you are forced into doing something you don’t want to do. I’m not sure if she articulates the concept of rape to herself, but she definitely has dreams of freedom, independence and choice. She said she hopes she will change her mind when she gets older. Right now, she is about 19.
It hurts me to hear young women talk about this and that girls of this young age are worrying deeply about this issue. The male students, on the other hand, have nothing to worry about. Marriage was built for them. Marriage benefits men in many ways and it doesn’t negatively affect any aspect of their lives. I’ve never heard a young male talk about marriage or children in anything but a flippant, carefree, positive way, in fact.
The males in our group tried to find out what the conversation was about. I summed it up for them. Marriage was designed by men for men. And it is not good for women. They seemed shocked. Like I said above, they don’t think about this stuff. Life is easy for them. They are the oppressors. One of them concluded that each person is entitled to their own opinion. Sure. Opinions. But I know more about women’s history than they do, so I am coming from a place of facts and reality, as well as my experience as a member of the oppressed, as the basis of my very informed opinion.
These conversations with women are difficult because I can’t do anything concrete to help them. I want for them to have freedom from males and the freedom to do whatever they want with their lives. I’d like to see a worldwide system change away from Patriarchy and female enslavement. I want to see the institution of family and marriage demolished. I wish women to be economically independent so that they don’t need men at all and they can concentrate on healthy, lifelong female relationships. But I know there is nothing at all I can do for them except listen to them, let them know they are heard, and that I care about their experiences and stories.
There are so many reasons to hate capitalism, but at the top of the list is the requisite and abundant abuse of women. The abuse happens in several ways. One of them is through advertisements. As China has become more capitalist, the objectification of women has gotten worse. Woman-hate has always been there, as it is and has been in all cultures. It just manifests in different ways depending on politics, social system, economy, national history, etc. Capitalism, which is completely dependent on the abuse of women (and would collapse without it), offers men several new ways to hurt women. Using their images in abusive ways is just one.
As I’ve posted before (specifically here), China, like many places, sees white women as the ultimate whores. White female bodies are used to sell all sorts of products in China, but are especially useful for sex- and female-targeted (aren’t they the same? woman=sex) products.
The dismay felt today occurred when I walked past my local, 3-storey department and grocery store. A few times a year, they change the massive 2-storey-tall advertisements. And I noticed something. One of these ads is not like the others. Let’s see if you notice too. I present to you the current set of ads lining the outer walls of the largest shopping centre in my area.
Did you catch it? Did you notice which one was different? In case you can’t figure it out, let me help. There are two fully clothed, white dudes. Yeah, their styles are kind of effeminate, but that is actually quite normal for straight men in China. Chinese women will probably find these dudes attractive, I think. Then there are two white boy-children. Fully clothed with the ‘too cool for school’ look on their faces. Chinese people will find them acceptable. Then we’ve got a Chinese adult male. Slick, respectably dressed. This dude will command respect. And to be honest, I’d actually wear that outfit. Then we’ve got a young Chinese woman. Fully clothed (hard to see, but there is a tan-coloured shirt under all the red outerwear). She’s young and a cool up-and-comer. Timid, but part of China’s future.
And then we’ve got the White Whore. Dressed in clothes that are the very symbol of female slavery, humiliation, degradation, and inhumanity. Dressed in next to nothing in a culture where uncovered women are only seen as garbage to be used by men. This is part of the dual message that comes through in the advertising. “This is Woman – specifically White Woman – and she should be used, but not respected.”
All over the world, including China, white women are the object of choice for advertising lingerie, wedding rings, condoms, and other woman-as-sex-object items. I face these images of what are essentially representations of ME every single day, and it always occurs to me how much these images and their evil messages are internalized by everyone around me. We know these marketing devices work, otherwise we wouldn’t have advertisements at all. People have degrees in this shit from business schools. Marketing sends messages. So when I encounter people after they are daily bombarded with the ‘white woman as whore and nothing else’ message, how am I supposed to garner respect? How am I supposed to be seen as human? All they see when they look at me and other white women is some sex-crazed, fuckable property of white men. It scares the shit out of me, and I fucking hate it.
This is the intertwined racism and misogyny of China.
[This post is part of the White Girl series.]
I frequently get bored. I do a lot of stuff by myself, which is fine. I’ve always been that way. Since I was a kid. But that tendency is exacerbated in China to the point where I am frequently bored out of my skull. While in other places, doing things by myself can be either indoors or outdoors, in China, I spend most of my time indoors simply because going outside – even just outside my building – means facing too much negative attention from racist, misogynist people who don’t see me as quite human.
So getting bored means that sometimes I sign on to do things that may or may not be fun. I had one such opportunity this week. There are a couple of kids who drop in on one of my English classes at my home campus. I like ambitious people who look for chances to self-improve without being forced to do it, so I let them sit in and participate. There aren’t a lot of truly self-motivated people in the world, and I’d hate to put out what fire they may have. Anyhow, one of them announced he was a member of a little grass roots English club on my campus and invited me to attend. I figured I’d check it out. After all the group was small, and the students were not English majors, but young people just interested in improving their oral language skills that they are sadly not offered in their university programs.
I won’t get into what transpired, as that is not the point of this post, except to say that it was a nice meeting, and I was impressed with all of the students. I think I’ll go again in the future because they really are quite keen on learning and practising. And some of them have interesting things to say – I like to know what young people in a growing economy and weird political system think about the world.
What was interesting – or not, depending on your perspective – was a question that came up and the conversation that ensued. People always ask me what I do in my free time or what I’m interested in. I hate this question because I don’t have a lot to say. I don’t do a lot. I read. I write. I go to the market. I cook food that is suitable for a person living alone. I see friends or students occasionally. That’s about it. Boring stuff. But if I can’t hold back, I will tell people that I love bees. By hold back, I mean that if I start talking about bees, I can go on and on and on. I love them. I have worked with bees and I have fallen in love with them, so to speak. They make me happy. And I like to watch them, photograph them, and think about them. I also like to dispel myths about them, alleviate irrational fears of them, and tell people about how they operate. They are very misunderstood creatures.
One thing I really love about them is that they are a female-dominated society. Now, they are not female-dominated in the way that the few matriarchal human societies have been/are. Human matriarchies are good for women, but they are also good for men. Under human matriarchy, everybody actually does well. It’s not based on domination/submission as patriarchies are. The reality is contrary to what men fear – because men think women in charge would behave exactly like men. Total nonsense and indicative of how limited men are in their imaginations and how aware they actually are of how much they abuse us. They can only project, and they know they deserve to be punished for what they have done… No, unlike human matriarchies, bee society is female-dominated in a way that doesn’t benefit male bees (drones). I approve, actually. Not of the hierarchy with queen on top, but of the efficiency and cohesiveness of bee society. Males are essentially USELESS. Only a few are born and their sole purpose is to impregnate the queen. Other than that, they are completely and utterly useless. They can’t even break their way out of their birth cells, unlike the females. The females must liberate the poor little fuckers from their cells. The drones contribute nothing to the hive. They don’t bring back resources. They don’t clean or heat/cool the hive. They don’t even have a stinger with which to defend the hive. After mating, the females do what no human female has the guts to do: they either drive the males from the hive, or kill them immediately. Bee hives depend upon the contributions of every single bee. Non-contributors use badly needed resources. Males are a drain on hive resources from birth. And the girls deal with this problem effectively.
Whoops, see what I mean? Once I start, it is hard for me to stop.
Anyhow, the students asked me about what I was most interested in, and I started in on the bees. I told them all about this female-dominated society. They were fascinated, but what was interesting to me was how the students reacted. It was a half female, half male group. None of the males said anything at all in response to the cold hard reality of bee life for drones. But several of the young women started lamenting on how unfair it was for the males to be killed. Waaah!!! Poor resource-sucking males!!!
And this is why human society is in the poor, go-nowhere, filthy state that it is in. Women constantly stick up for unproductive, abusive, destructive, poisonous, dominant, rapist, parasitical, disgusting men. Most women accept their brainwashing and support the female slave structure instead of taking their rightful place as leaders and creators and protectors and stewards.
Bee society isn’t my ideal society. I do believe there is a place for those who are unable to be in top productivity (i.e., elderly wise women nearing the end of their lives), but that is probably more practical for human culture and not realistic for bees. And the hyper-focus on breeding is not what I would consider a human priority like it appears to be for bees. But removing destructive, abusive, unchanging forces entirely from a culture or society? That I can get on board with. And I think it is something human females need to do if they ever expect to live in peace, safety and happiness in this world.
Because it doesn’t happen a lot, every time I make a new female friend who doesn’t immediately turn out to be a complete raging misogynist, I cheer inside. And often out loud, too. With a happy dance. Female friendship should be cheered. And cherished. Unfortunately, the opposite is true in most corners of the world. Women are trained from birth not to invest in other women. That would undermine patriarchy and threaten their relationships with men.
On the whole, it is really hard to connect with Chinese women. First, I am ‘other’, so engaging with me is seldom something they pursue. They (the women) do violent things me and say mean things to me, oh yes they do. The women are often more aggressive to me than the men, and friendly engagement is rare. This is borne of the divisiveness created by patriarchy that keeps women from bonding. And as I don’t comply with femininity, I am further ‘othered’. With the really young Chinese women, they are usually wrapped up in shopping and beauty products and obsessing about boys and double eyelid surgery (all of which repulses the hell out of me) – and occasionally with studying really, really hard (which I fully support). And come mid-20’s, almost all women are sucked into mandatory nuclear family life. All women, including lesbians, are forced into the drudgery and humiliation of finding a husband, popping out a kid or two, and then enthusiastically embracing the lifetime of slavery that goes with that. It’s not unique to China. All cultures either force or coerce women into the family track through some means. I oppose the family structure because it is designed specifically to isolate and disempower women and to place female friendship and support and the possibility of professional networking at the very bottom of their priority list. It doesn’t work that way for men – quite the opposite actually. Family is a disastrous (male) invention that makes men’s lives easy and destroys the lives of women. But I’ve managed to cultivate a few friendships with Chinese women despite all this. They probably have greater meaning for me than for them, however, given my existence outside the family system and my wish to connect meaningfully with women.
One new friendship is with a lecturer at my university. We crossed paths as we use the same classroom – my class is immediately before hers. She did her Masters degree in Canada, so she has no hesitation about speaking with foreign people, unlike most Chinese who can’t even be bothered to say ‘ni hao’ to me or return my smile (which I gave up on a few years ago). And we have other things in common. We both have backgrounds in statistics and methodology and in addition to our scientific creds, also have degrees in the realm of management.
We got together for lunch yesterday, and even though my new friend told me right off the bat that she is a ‘traditional person’, I really didn’t feel that was entirely true. First off, she has a PhD (more education than her husband) and is currently looking for international opportunities to further her career. That doesn’t sound so traditional to me. Yes, she has several standard heterosexual views that almost all woman hold due to social conditioning, but I find her rather open-minded and reasonably rational for a woman from a very rigid culture in the clutches of dictatorship. I think her international experience really helped broaden her perspective (e.g., she had a gay masters advisor in Canada). And it was really easy to have a discussion on issues while holding sometimes differing views. Honestly, it was the most open face-to-face conversation I’ve had in… years?
I learned a lot of fascinating things during our lunch, but there is one thing I want to talk about in this post. The whole male child obsession.
There is new propaganda out in China about ‘girl children are important, toooooo’. It’s mostly bullshit, but the government is panicking about the backfiring of their population control policy and the disastrous effects it has had years later. And the panicking isn’t due to regrets or fighting misogyny. It is still all focused on male privilege. Let’s spell out what happened clearly.
- China’s population was exploding due to female slavery.
- The government decided to control the explosion by limiting families to one child (with exceptions).
- Like anyone but an idiot might expect, a culture built on woman-hate automatically gravitated towards that single child being a boy.
- Illegal sex determination testing was carried out by all people who could pay for it and many female fetuses were aborted. If people couldn’t afford the testing, they often abandoned or killed female newborns once the nasty surprise was born.
- A few short decades later, and the country is missing 40 million females.
- And note that the crisis is not that females have been killed, but that there now isn’t enough cunt to allocate to all of the males who were allowed to live.
- Boys must have access to pussy! What are we to do!!!!???? Oh no!!!!!
Now, it would be great to shit all over China for the horrors done to girls. But you know what? If you implement this population control policy anywhere in the world, the exact same thing would happen. There is no country in the world where boys aren’t worshipped and girls hated. When push comes to shove, given the choice between breeding a future rape victim or a future rapist, 99.9% of people would choose the rapist. Some of them might delude themselves into thinking they can produce a ‘good one’, but the fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as a good one. There are just entitled ones who ALL benefit from the threat all women live under. A male doesn’t have to rape to benefit from rape. Men (and most women) don’t get this. At all.
Despite being ‘traditional’, my new friend and I got into a good discussion of marriage and male privilege and the whole mandatory breeding thing in China. Women cannot escape from marriage and breeding. It is unthinkable and undoable. Even ‘out’ lesbians, the few that there are, are hounded by the government (in addition to friends and family) to submit and do their duty. Your twat and portable incubator belong to us and all the men in the country!!! And regardless of the deceptive ‘pro-female baby’ campaign, even educated people are still lusting after sons. We discussed a few examples from my friend’s life that made for some depressing food for thought.
In particular, she mentioned one of her closest Chinese friends. Someone she described as at the top of her career, accomplished, smart, talented – a great woman. But of course, she is married. She is also 43 and is now pregnant. This hit me very personally – I am 43 and can’t imagine wanting to be pregnant at this age. Anyhow, this woman had a daughter years before, but her husband is desperate for real human progeny – I mean, a son. So he badgered her. And the threat is that if this intelligent, accomplished woman doesn’t bear this asshole a son, he will leave her. [Me? I say ‘good riddance’. There is no reason for an economically independent woman to stay with a rapist-abuser.] And she relented. Being 43, she has been forced by Husband-Dickface into putting herself at great risk of death and endless physical and psychological complications, disfigurement, and/or permanent injury. Less important, but still worth considering, she is at high risk of having a child with any of a number of problems – which, as the mother, she will be solely responsible for taking care of. But Cock must be satisfied. He has absolutely nothing to lose in this narcissistic frivolity. The bitch must put out, or she will be tossed aside like garbage. I am positive that Cock will pay the money for an illegal sex determination test, and any defects (aka ‘femaleness’) detected will be aborted toot sweet.
My lunch companion then entered into the standard het-female spiel about her special Nigel (I need a Chinese equivalent for a special snowflake, can-do-no-wrong male partner – I may use the the popular name, Ming – 明 – ‘not my Ming’). She said that her husband wants another child, but she is 38, and she said she didn’t want to have another because she is getting too old, and um, she is an accomplished woman moving up in her career. He has given in. So of course, he is the Best Husband on Earth™. But I asked her, do you have a son or daughter? Wait for it… She has a son! Ding ding ding!!! If she had a daughter, her super special Nigel/Ming probably wouldn’t have let her get off so easily.
But she chooses to see his giving in as some superior quality, rather than only relenting because he already has what he wants – a son. And this kind of rationalizing preserves the hetero marriage paradigm, not just in this case but all over the world. Women need to find examples, even the tiniest shred, of positive male behaviour in order to justify their slavery. And cookies (in the West) and dumplings (in the East) are prepared and showered upon husbands and boyfriends for not hurting them. That day. That moment. This is the trap all heterosexual women fall into and it is what will keep het relationships (and male privilege, including forcing women to produce sons) safe until the end of time. Turning the whole ‘he could do x, y, z to me, but he chooses not to’ into ‘he’s a perfect male specimen’ is a defense mechanism. Is that not creepy or scary to you? The implication always is with men that they are choosing not to do something to you AT THAT MOMENT, but it could change at any time. The threat of what could be done with impunity is what keeps all women in line.
But I get it. I don’t like it, and personally, I made my life infinitely more difficult by NOT supporting heteronormative slavery through not getting married and breeding. But not all women have the fight in them needed to resist, or in the case of rigid cultures like China, the mindset to rebel. But, separate from my personal life choices, I like this woman just as I like all my enslaved female friends. We don’t have to agree on how to survive in this world.
So, I ended that conversation with an emphasis on the importance of female friendships and support. That might be a topic for another post as I gained some insight into debunking a stereotype that Western women have of non-Western women (specifically the myth that the latter have stronger female bonds because they are family- and group-think-oriented).
Feminism. The poor term has been battered time and again, and it is still standing. It started off as a less powerful replacement for the clear and proud Women’s Liberation Movement. It has, more than once, fallen out of favour and acquired an unsavoury taste. It seems to have gained in popularity more recently, but perhaps not in a good way. Everyone and their dog seems to be either calling themselves a ‘feminist’ or saying “I’m not a feminist, but…” or pairing the word with choice hate speech against women. I truly think no one really knows what it means anymore and frequently doesn’t resemble anything that was practised by the warrior feminists of yore.
Perhaps the most disturbing resurgence has been among male-identified women and worse, men – straight men, gay men, and men in dresses (trans). This latest trend has rendered the label either practically meaningless or inseparable from Cock Supremacy. Yes, in the mainstream, feminism has become the quest for men to retain their privileges with enthusiastic yessing from liberated women. And the few who live by true feminist principles (radical feminists, especially lesbians) have become the absolute bottom of the human heap. Evil personified.
If you – especially if you’re a man – are strutting around calling yourself a ‘feminist’, then consider the following statements below. Some of these are more obvious than others. Some are complete ‘no-brainers’. But their inclusion is necessary because you wouldn’t believe how many men feel they have a right to weigh in on and be included in every single thing women do – especially when these things concern women alone. And there are plenty of women who put men first in feminism. Chances are, most men who read this list will not be able to see themselves and their behaviour within. This is standard narcissism observable in most men, partially resulting from biological tendencies and partially from socialization as oppressors. Willful disconnect from women’s reality, a free pass to attack women (often victims, the ignorant, and frequently radfems) under the guise of ‘activist feminism’ and perhaps a desperate, immature need to score activist/liberal points (and lays) from self-appointed, unashamed, feminist *sluts*, are the main motivators for adherence to the latest and most liberal feminist current. Personally, I don’t believe in such a creature as the ‘male feminist’. With skepticism based on years of experience, I might allow the title: ‘feminist ally’, which I’ll use below, but I attach parameters/conditions to this very special status. Look for yourself in the list. I might have to turn this whole thing into a Super Fun Quiz™ at some point. But for now, it’s just a list, and as it’s just off the top of my head, I’m sure I’m missing crucial things.
If your support of women’s status as humans depends solely upon my ‘attitude’ (how I respond to you, my willingness to tolerate you, and how nice and accommodating I am to you), then you are not a feminist ally.
If you think someone a) stating a fact you don’t like, b) disagreeing with you, or c) looking at you in a way you don’t like is worse than being raped, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are using derogatory words (cis, fish, TERF, etc) or well-worn slurs (b****, c***, w****, s***, etc.) to refer to women, you are not a feminist ally.
If I say ‘no’ to you and you don’t let it go then and there, you are not a feminist ally.
If you spend more time vocalizing (even if you manage not to mansplain) on feminist blogs and in women’s spaces than you do raising righteous hell among men, you are not a feminist ally.
If your support of women’s status does not include criminalizing, with the aim to abolish, the demand for pornography and prostitution, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are still having penile-penetrative sex with women that has nothing to do with deliberately working with them to ‘make a baby’, you are not a feminist ally.
If you think sex (especially intercourse) is a fundamental human right, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are not standing up against trans people’s hate speech and hate crimes against women, and instead support their takeover and further subordination of ACTUAL women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you can’t understand what the big deal is about protecting women-only spaces, you are not a feminist ally.
If you find your feminist voice in loudly holding women responsible for racism (and other isms), you are not a feminist ally.
If you get offended or pissy or outright angry if a woman reacts to your presence or words with fear/aversion, you are not a feminist ally.
If you think feminism has at its core anything other than the liberation of women from the oppression of men, you are not a feminist ally.
If you respond to women’s free speech with death or rape threats or slurs, you are not a feminist ally.
If you see no problem with a born male (regardless of how he ‘identifies’ now) leading feminist organizations, lesbian groups, or women’s studies classes/departments, you are not a feminist ally.
If you believe the presence of a single male (let alone several males) has no effect on the dynamics of a group of women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you put your identity and feelings above the safety of the entire class of people called women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are quick to blame women for what men have done to you personally, you are not a feminist ally.
If you cherry-pick ‘scientific’ studies to confirm your point-of-view instead of looking objectively for legitimately acquired facts that run the risk of proving you wrong, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are under the delusion that trans are more ‘oppressed’ than women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you can’t understand the difference between sex and gender, you are not a feminist ally.
If you can’t see the male trans performance of femininity as being as offensive and horrific as a blackface minstrel show, you are not a feminist ally.
Call me harsh, but seriously, women have been both strong-armed and shamed / manipulated into making concessions to men without getting anything but grief through the erosion of rights and voice in return. None of the above items concerning basic female rights and freedoms hurts men in any way. Removal of privilege does not equal harm or oppression.
This is part of the Wolves in Women’s Clothing series.
Yeah, this is a rant. Not light, and not short. Warning given. Proceed at your own risk 😉
I don’t drink that much. Alcohol has long been associated with abuse, fear, and rape for me, so I stay well away from drunk men, drinking with men I don’t know or trust (which is, at this point, every single one of them), and places where people drink. In my experience, you severely raise the risk that not only will something bad happen to you, but also that you won’t have a leg of credibility to stand on when (not if) something happens to you. This is women’s reality. Alcohol provides men with an excuse for their criminal behaviour, and takes away from women everything including the slightest shred of believability or humanity.
I almost completely limit my alcohol consumption to the occasional bottle of foreign red wine (decent alcohol is very expensive in China), and I’m such a light weight that it can last me for 3 days. And it does the trick, it dulls my depression and makes me forget the worst parts of living in China. Temporarily.
But in the last few years, there is one other time that I have a few drinks, and that is the two or three times a year that I go out socially with this piece of shit, 61-year-old, white, British, male misogynist whom I’ve tolerated because a) he is a rare atheist, and b) he is a colleague and unfortunately, one of my few ‘allies’ (wrong word) where I work. I’ve described this douchebag before.
I was much less enraged three years ago when I first met DB (douchebag). I tolerated his mansplainy narcissism. And this is a topic for another post, but even though every country’s males have their own unique brand of misogyny, there is something I absolutely fucking hate about British men. I’m not sure if it is my perspective as a women from the “New World”, but I find men from “Old World” countries (Western or Eastern) have a very deep-seated, centuries-old, traditional misogyny that you don’t see in places like Canada, New Zealand, Australia or even the US. It’s not specifically religious. It’s something else. A colonizer mentality. And there is some left over colonial, British Empire attitude that sits in the DNA of British men – the men who raped, conquered and held hostage half the world and left destruction in their wake. The somewhat subdued, historic pomposity of British men is, in many ways, more obnoxious than the loud, superhero, dumb jock, ‘we’re number one!’ ignorance of modern American men. It’s hard to explain. And I will say that I don’t see any of that in comparing the women of both worlds, except perhaps in how they rationalize their slavery. But of course, women don’t colonize. They don’t attack, invade, rape, pillage, kidnap, infect, kill, or any of that, in the name of discovery, conquering, ‘civilizing’, taming, nationalism, or claiming one’s birthright or cockright. I like British women just as I like American women and any other women from any place. Individual women may pose problems, but as a class, they are not the enemy.
So anyhow, after my first week swimming in Chinese semen, I had planned a strategic Saturday outing with DB. Not for fun. I needed crucial information related to my job. I figured I’d get this toxic event out of the way and be safe from further exposure for months – perhaps even for the rest of the semester.
When out with DB, there is alcohol. He is a fucking fish. An alcoholic (like most older men who come to China). He jokes about going to class everyday having to mask the smell of alcohol consumed the night before leaking out of his pores with his sweat. I usually have a few drinks while I’m on these outings with DB because it helps me suffer through his grossness.
But on this recent outing, I discovered a more practical and useful side effect. I found courage.
I am really good at defending other people – women especially – but I am horrible at defending myself or having general debates. I’m not an orator. I prefer to think, mull, and write, rather than have a verbal discussion. I’d also rather avoid men who disgust me than get into arguments with them about things they don’t understand and that involve my human rights and their male privileges. Once the insanity starts, I tend to close down and fantasize about killing them. But on Saturday, after a few drinks and in the feminist frame of mind I’ve been in, especially recently, I was ready for a fight of the verbal sort. I mean, I still sat there for much of it imagining a clean shot put between DB’s eyes. But verbally, I trounced that fucker, and did it using his own (and all men’s) low-blow and aggressive techniques against him. And those techniques mostly involved interrupting. Shutting down his irrelevant lines of thought before he could complete them. Dismissing his rebuttals. Derailing his derail attempts. Refusing to defend myself and my claims. Keeping on the attack rather than the defense. Basically, I treated him as he has always treated me – as men always treat women. And it worked. It didn’t gain me respect necessarily, and it didn’t feel ‘natural’ to me, but it shut him up. Instead of the male voice, I eventually got silence. Blessed silence. The male voice, silenced. He gave up trying to dominate me and forcing me to back down and agree to his misogynist viewpoint. He took on the pouty, abused, ‘is-is-is she saying no to me?’ look that some men get when women speak with authority or righteous anger. Didn’t stop me. I firmly believe that women can’t ever win or be heard or make men shut up unless they use the ‘master’s tools’ against the masters themselves. Men don’t understand anything but aggression. Reasoning doesn’t work. Appeals to logic or empathy or humanity don’t work. But a good beating, verbal or physical, coupled with shaming, do. It’s what they do to us. I get so tired of women refusing to see that taking the high moral ground will never, ever make men stop their abuse of us. Even men’s request for ‘educating’ aren’t true or real, but women fall for it every time. That derailing technique works every time. Women’s energy derailed and stolen.
Not until you become more self-aware do you realize how much woman-hate is organic to conversations with men. Almost everything men say smacks of misogyny. But we don’t notice, or we laugh along, or we get nervous, or we have already tuned out and are nodding and smiling in boredom. When you become self-aware, it is horrifying how nasty and ignorant men are. And they remain unopposed by all men and almost all women. Honestly, I should have brought a massive fucking misogynist bingo card with me. This guy hit almost every stupid point that men come up with when trying to assert their dominance and entitlement/’rights’. It was trope central. And standard to pretty much all British men, even the young ones, he kicked it all off with basic fighting words: “mankind“. And it went on from there. Here are only a few of the highlights:
Religion, not men, caused gynocidal events in history
DB is a history buff (male history) and he is both a China apologist and an atheist. China can do no wrong and is superior for not being a religious country (except that traditionalism is a form of religion – a topic for another post). DB loves dictatorships and censorship (as long as HE is free to do what HE wants, that is).
I had pointed out that the two worst events in the history of humans: 1000 years of footbinding in China and 300 years of witch burnings and torture of women in the West. DB immediately leapt in with a condemnation of religion. I cut him off. Nope. That doesn’t explain footbinding. I just kept repeating: “Men did it. Male hatred of women. Misogyny.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Dumb people need repetition. And you can list all the horrific gynocides throughout history – DUE TO MEN. The 6-week rape-fest in Nanjing, China by the Japanese. Not religion. Men. The perfection of what we now know as the ‘concentration camp’ by Winston Churchill and Lord Kitchener used on Afrikaner women and children. Not religion. Men. Cruise through time. Make notes. Men have done it all to women. Men. Men. Men. To women. Women. Women. And it seldom makes the history books or history class curricula.
Chimps trade meat for sex
Atheist men fucking LOVE LOVE LOVE evolutionary psychology as a tool to try to justify their love of rape and domination. Atheist men hate you too, ladies. This particular stupid douchebag doesn’t have a single course in science. He doesn’t even have a college degree. Through some weird British educational loophole, this idiot was let into a Masters program in something that was decidedly not science, WITHOUT an undergraduate degree. But he loves to try to school ME in science, a women with post graduate education in science, published articles in science, research in science, and teaching experience in university scientific methodology and statistics. And like most atheist men without an understanding of science, he trots out debunked evo-psych bullshit based on male confirmation biased interpretations of animal behaviour (anthropomorphize much, rapists?) to support his love of rape and prostitution. Dumbass. Anyhow, I shut that fucker down before he could actually finish his first sentence as I saw it coming a mile away. I said, “Debunked. Non-science.” To derail me, he tried the male trick: where is your proof? I said, “Google it.” You prove it. Science, my scientific ass.
Good things always come from war
Nothing smacks of male privilege like dismissing the effects of war. History is basically the male masturbatory recounting of wars. It is also the dismissal of the female experience, the erasure of female existence. So men, when they start jizzing over how fucking awesome a battle was, or how fucking awesome the world became due to some war, they forget one tiny thing. Women are the overwhelmingly large majority of victims when there is war or civil unrest. I was reading a psychological site on PTSD in women, and they cited the statistics that during civil unrest and warlike conditions, women comprise up to 80% of the victims (general victims, not PTSD victims, specifically). Men can’t see this because they only see soldier mortality as victimhood. What they forget are the women civilians killed. And that victimhood isn’t just death. Rape is rampant during any kind of uncivilized event. Men don’t get raped. Women and girls are raped. And tortured and injured and killed. They are raped and killed by the enemies. They are raped and killed by the men on ‘their side’. Women are the largest group of victims during unrest.
As for the good things that come from war? WTF? Is the world a better place when war is concluded? Not for women. And no aftermath is worth all the loss and suffering. Any freedoms or benefits usually go to men and boys. For women, it is business as usual. The only war I can imagine resulting in something good is one where women stand up for their rights, physically fight, and win over men. Liberation for women is the only cause that makes sense for me because every current ill in society results from women’s oppression. Liberating women would help alleviate all human problems as well as environmental, animal, and food/water problems.
We then moved on to:
If we don’t do it, someone else will
Men are positively obsessed with progress and growth. This is the only way they define success. Progress and growth are seldom logical or reasonable and always come with a high cost. A cost that is paid by women and girls.
There is no such thing as creating something out of nothing. There is no such thing as ‘bottomless’ or ‘without limit’ when men seek success. The male demand for more and more is only possible if you tread on the rights and humanity of others – the least powerful. The least powerful are women, so they get less so that more is produced. So women are paid less for the same job. They work more in order to produce more. They are removed from their homes and made homeless so that buildings and structures they will never benefit from can be erected. They suffer through wars and environmental disasters and medical atrocities. Just so men can achieve ‘progress’ and ‘growth’. And I’ll add recognition and power to that list.
I suggested to DB that there are several lines that should not be crossed, whether it is in science or any endeavour. His answer? If we don’t do it, someone else will. We can’t let the other guy get there first! And I hammered him. “What a shitty, amoral excuse for evil behaviour.” This guy swears he is not a capitalist.
The world is safer than it has ever been
For men? Yes. Definitely. Not so much for women. Men don’t have a clue what safety issues are. And how much do you love it when men try to tell you that you are perfectly safe now. I mean seriously, fuck off. They have no idea what women think about, worry about, and have to do in order to get from Point A to Point B.
His measure of safety is that we have longer life spans. Yeah. That’s it. Longer life spans. What an incredibly nuanced way to look at safety.And I told him so. Did I also mention that I have worked in forensics as an analyst? I have worked with an FBI consultant on serial rape data. I have worked with police departments on workplace violent crime. I have also worked in the health field on medical errors research.
In what world does living a long life mean that you have lived free from danger? That you haven’t almost died? That you don’t suffer from fear or trauma or anxiety due to living in a crime-filled, corrupt world of danger for women?
They’re trying to criminalize johns and let prostitutes…!!!
We’d already covered the chimps, meat and sex bullshit, and the world is a safer place bullshit. So why not move into trying to shut down the male right to rape?
I jumped on this one before he even finished his sentence of outrage. There is nothing I hate more than men telling me that they have a right to stick their dicks into women, or that women ‘choose’ lives of rape and degradation over health and happiness. So I derailed him. I said, “Yes!!! Finally!!! The Swedish model is the best thing to happen in a long time. Finally, we can take away men’s right to rape and finally, we have a fighting chance in hell to reduce male violence against women, misogyny, and endless rape – all of which increase when prostitution is legal. I launched into the cold reality that prostitution ONLY exists when men refuse to allow women the means to support themselves properly. We have prostitutes because women are poor. That’s it. Holding women severely economically disadvantaged positively ensures that women will be forced to sell their bodies and ensures that men have a constant supply of enslaved cunt to rape.
I didn’t allow any response from DB. There is no response to this issue that isn’t dripping in pro-rape, pro-poverty, male privilege and psychopathy. Did I mention that this guy is NOT a capitalist? Right. Unless it’s something he wants sold for his pleasure as a male.
But but but the Women’s Movement was successful
I mentioned that women-only social justice movements are never allowed to succeed. Only when men’s rights are at stake, do they succeed. And they do so mostly because they have women’s free labour supporting them. Women don’t receive the backing of men when it is their turn. And he came out with the ‘right to vote’ success. Most men don’t know anything about the herstory of women’s struggles. And of course, any successes that occur are assumed by men to have been the single purpose of the struggle. When women won the vote, that was not the whole point of the movement. It was actually a decades-long struggle for several legal rights, one of which was the right to vote. Following backlash from men and possibly exhaustion from that landmark achievement, the women’s movement lost some steam. They didn’t achieve most of what they had set out to do. Would I call the First Wave a success? Not entirely. It wasn’t a failure, but it wasn’t a roaring success in the way that all male movements have been.
It’s time to start looking for a Chinese wife
Speaking of prostitution and male privilege… As an over-60, DB has overstayed his welcome in China. The Chinese who, in addition to being sexist and racist, are also ageist. They love Chinese old people, but the foreign people who stay for decades diligently and devotedly educating their youth? Nope. Once you hit 60, you’re tossed to the curb. There is no pathway to residency. There is no pension for foreigners. No ‘thank you’ for your service. You’re out.
Unless you are a man. Foreign males can find local pussy, convince them to marry (which is pretty easy to do), and then stay forever on the equivalent of a green card. This isn’t really an option for foreign women. First, Chinese men, like Western men, want subservient wives and baby factories. Besides, Chinese men only see us as whores. Something to fuck, but not to ‘respect’ in the form of a slave relationship (marriage). Second, most Western women who come to places like China are either already enslaved or they are the most independent women from what are independence-embracing countries. They aren’t looking for a slave-arrangement. So this dealio works well for men who have no problem owning a slave. But it is not an option for women.
The only other way to stay is if you are extremely well connected with someone in government who can ‘arrange’ an illegal visa if you have the money. This is rare. I think about all the people, including those from China, we let stay forever in Canada, despite having little or nothing to offer, and I think about devoting my education and talent to a place like China and their complete disrespect for my years of service and their abuse while I am employed with them. Mind-boggling. There is no reciprocal arrangement between our countries.
Anyhow, DB is 60 or 61 and he has been told that he will be kicked out of China next year. He is joking now that it is time to find a Chinese wife. Who knows, he might just do that.
There is actually a lot more here to tell, but this is long enough. My bingo card was full by the end of things. And I raged for days. Even though I put this douchebag in his place, thanks in part to the liquid courage of a couple of G&Ts, I spent the following week calming down. When it really hits you full force how much a dude you have known for a while hates women, and by definition, you yourself because you’re a woman, you rage. You rage. You rage. And just think, even your Nigels (if you have one) are the same. Maybe he has different words and tactics, but the woman-hate and privilege is in there. Waiting. Waiting for you to oppose him in some way. Deny him what he feels is his ‘right’ (but which is only a male privilege) and you’ll find out how much your sweetie ‘loves’ you. The truth is these assholes walk the planet taking what they want. They are not used to hearing ‘no’ and having to abide by it. They don’t respect ‘no’ in the way that women do. They are given more than you (more money, more respect, more space, more consideration, more understanding, more freedom, more safety) despite their inferiority simply because they have dicks. So, while I felt a victory – and it was important one, personally – it came with a price and it changes nothing about how the world works. I stopped a dick mid-swing, but unless it is cut off completely, it will live to swing another day, knocking down all women in its path.
Filed under the Conversations with Men series.
I have a very strange internet friend whom I’ve ‘known’ for a long time from years ago – back when I was a serious researcher doing serious research and not frittering my life and spirit away in China. We collaborated on a short project online, but we have never met in person. At this point, this acquaintance’s role has morphed into one of sending me occasional stories of ‘how fucked up China is’. News of the weird. Of human rightsy weirdness. Bizarre deaths resulting from Chinese neglect. That kind of thing.
The thing is, I KNOW ALREADY. I live here. I experience bad and weird things here all the time. I don’t bother to comb through alt-media sites or even mainstream Western media for Chinese fuckery because the day-to-day stuff that I see in situ is bad enough.
When you come from a country where there are *sometimes* consequences for abusing power – or at least the pretense of consequences – or at least mechanisms and bodies set up to deal with power abuses – it is hard to imagine it working otherwise in other places. So Westerners can’t understand that if they go to China, if anything untoward ever happens to them, there will be nothing whatsoever that can be done. Unless you have managed to get very well connected with powerful people, that is. And the majority of Western people – or any foreign worker, for that matter – are extremely vulnerable to abuse because they aren’t connected. Newbie Western workers will often try to fight what has happened to them with logic or human-rightsy arguments that usually start with: “This would never happen in MY country.” And they might be right. Maybe. It might happen, and you might be lucky to have a way to fight it. There is definitely more of a chance of fighting it in the West. But in China, you learn very quickly that anyone can do anything to you at any time. And you are not allowed to say anything about it. Even contract agreements between you and the Chinese only apply to you. If you don’t live up to the contract they can do what they want to you. But as a Chinese, they can break the contract every single day. You can complain if you want. And they will ignore you. And they might fire you because you don’t take abuse well. Their firing techniques are almost always passive-aggressive, subtle manipulation. It is actually the exact mentality behind Western men complaining about Western women. The whole “I love Asian women” phenomenon. Western women believe they have rights as humans. Most men don’t like that, and some will go East to find the perfect docile slave.
Many of the younger Westerners who come here are ‘liberal’, so they don’t usually complain, and may often make excuses for the Chinese (aka ‘apologism’), because they hold the Western mentality that the Chinese are oppressed – which isn’t actually true anymore in the West, nevermind the East. It’s the older white (and usually incompetent) male who comes here for a pussy and booze free-for-all who gets very angry and loud when he isn’t treated like a member of the dominant race. And both groups are delusional, by the way.
The Chinese are the dominant and the majority race. And China is very patriarchal. And it is still a system that is run as a dictatorship. And with that combination, you get very serious racism, very serious misogyny, and no concept of human rights whatsoever. There is no such thing as a race-motivated crime. There is no such thing as a crime against women. And there is no such thing as workers’ rights or human rights abuse of any sort.
It is hard for many Western people to wrap their minds around that non-Western reality.
I once read a disturbing, but amusing (because I could understand it on a personal level) little essay written by a long-time foreign resident in China about the stages foreigners go through when first living in China. It was written by a man, and thus didn’t take into account that China is much easier for men to deal with for a number of reasons. But I still recognized some of the elements in it. The whole essay reminded me of the grieving process one goes through when dealing with a death – starting with anger, moving through depression, and eventually resolving with acceptance of reality. It was troubling to realize that living in China was so similar to dealing with a serious loss such as a major death, but it is actually very much like that if you stay long enough. Living in China really does mean giving up your personhood or identity. It is a death of sorts. Whether you can be reborn or whether you remain living as the undead, is another thing entirely and is dependent upon either having your mind and spirit broken completely and thus becoming open to brainwashing or being able to escape most of the mundane Chinese abuse through obtaining an elitist kind of job with super-high pay.
I’ve thought about this a lot. Many sociologists and cross-cultural researchers paint this simplistic black-and-white picture of individualistic cultures and group-based cultures. And of course, the former are painted as evil and latter are somehow superior. But I think this conclusion, and the whole type-of-society dichotomy are not quite right. I actually find the Chinese to be much more individualistic and self-centred and heartless in some ways that I have not been able to explain (until recently) using the group-think or collectivist society model. Likewise, that model hasn’t explained the countless examples of supposedly average, individualistic, selfish Americans and other Westerners relentlessly donating their time and money to humanitarian efforts or to helping random people on the street. You may not see this if your knowledge of China has come solely from movies and the news, but given how much time I’ve spent in non-Western countries, I’ll tell you how jarred I am by how much positive and pro-social interaction there is between strangers in the West. Every time I return, I get freaked out. Strangers helping strangers. Hell, strangers talking to strangers. You never, ever, never, ever see this in China. Ever. Ever. People don’t even say ‘thank you’ here. But that is a post for another time. I have developed my own theory as to this individualism vs group-based society phenomenon.
My point is that to survive in China, you can’t see yourself as a person in the Western sense. And most people are not able to see themselves as a person in the Chinese sense. It’s not a great way to live. Undead.
I haven’t written in a while simply because my first two weeks back at work have been a racist, misogynist fuck-fest. There has been plenty of Chinese bullshit and some Western male bullshit, too.
The first day of class involved university officials and photographers stopping by my class to photograph me while teaching. I’m never allowed to say ‘no’ to anything they do to me, and in this case, they will use my image for their greedy capitalistic and political purposes. (See! We have foreign staff! Come to our university!!! Pay our tuition!!!) Like a porn contract, you sign on the dotted line, and that means they can do whatever they want to you after that (don’t worry, I’m not equating teaching with porn… I’m telling you that the Chinese mentality is the porn producer’s mentality).
I spent the week correcting the grammar of misogynist sentences produced by my male students, which was fucking awesome and not a mindfuck at all!
And the second week saw a quiet, moneyless payday – and an announcement from the university that they had no intention of paying us this month for last month. They announced to us that the pay schedule will change (again). Now, they are going to start paying us TWO WHOLE MONTHS after the start of each pay period. We get paid monthly, the pay date has been pushed further and further away from the pay period each year that I have been with this university. And now, work that I do on March 1st won’t be paid until April 30th. What??? I am not allowed to protest this. They have implemented worse abuses in past years – like breaking my contract and quadrupling my work load for no extra pay. The foreign staff has protested individually, but as Chinese, they give excuses and end up doing what they want to us. This new payment policy actually feels very much like one of the passive-aggressive Chinese punishments. They may be looking to clear out foreign staff by implementing abusive policy, so they can bring in new, naive people whom they can pay less.
This happens all the time. I’m used to it. There is nothing ‘fair’ about the Chinese. It may surprise you to know that this is the best place I’ve ever worked in all the years I’ve been in China. At least these employers don’t chain the staff into our residential building every night like my last employer did. Nobody could get in or out except the key master. The Chinese didn’t understand why the Western staff had a problem with that. A simple, humane solution to the ‘grave danger’ looming over our building would be to install a key card or coded key pad entry system. But that would cost the Chinese money. The Chinese don’t like to spend money.
But the worst of these first two weeks back was actually dealing with a horrible, British, male acquaintance/co-worker and his disgusting misogyny last Saturday. I’m still reeling from it. Unfortunately, I need to stay ‘friendly’ with this asshole, as one really needs allies when you’re working for the Chinese. The Chinese deliberately try to keep Western people in the dark and misinformed and isolated on several levels so that we remain powerless and disorganized. Because foreign workers are ALWAYS abused, it is really key to have as many allies as possible – even if they are assholes. Information needs to be shared since it is so hard to come by, and sometimes protests must be done as a group or at least in numbers. But the cost of being friendly with jerks can be really hard, and the deeper I get into feminism, the harder it is to deal with men who don’t see me as a full human.
I’m going to write about this asshole. It’s one of those things that ended up being successful in my mind even though it didn’t and doesn’t necessarily feel like it. I’m glad I did what I did, but my body and mind are paying for it. More soon…
Language is important. I’m not going to do a history of language or do a deep analysis of how language, in the hands of men, has affected and continues to affect women. There are excellent blogs (one in my side bar) devoted to the study of patriarchy and language, and while I teach language and love to learn about meaning, evolution of meaning and word origins, I am in no way an expert nor can I do a better analysis than said experts.
But I want to talk about the word rape and how it is defined. I am not going to provide a deep history of the word or a legal history of the meaning. There are actually some excellent articles out there that do this very thing, which are highly findable through a Google search. I’ll give a brief background, and then plunge into my intended topic, which is current and relevant now, and I’ll tie it in to some unexpected results of my quickie quiz on feminism dilution, which you can still participate in if you wish.
The purpose of language is to communicate. Maybe you’re saying ‘duh’ to yourself, but given that I teach university ESL (speaking, writing, research communication) in China, I’ve noticed that after 10+ years of English study, most of my students can’t communicate to save their lives. (The Chinese government isn’t focused on communication, but obscure-grammar-test-taking.) So, I don’t consider my statement to be all that elementary or obvious. Language exists to allow us to communicate. To communicate problems, needs, wants, states of being, observations, discoveries. You name it.
It’s a tool. And like all tools that exist in our international patriarchy, it is controlled by men. What is the purpose of controlling language? Well, simply, the class that controls language, also controls who gets to express problems, needs, wants, states of being, observations, discoveries, etc. So, as men are in control of language, they are the ones who get to express themselves openly. They are the ones who have legitimate problems, needs, wants, states of being, observations, discoveries, etc. Women? Not so much.
Language forms the bedrock upon which the educational, political, legal, medical, and all other systems are built. So if you control language, you control these systems. And they work for you, the controllers.
The legal system uses male-defined language to protect men from each other and from women and their silly-willy accusations. Women are not protected by the law because the language does not allow them to define their problems/crimes against them.
So we get to rape. The word ‘rape’ has a long history, and men have been fucking around with its definition for centuries. Since the early 13th century, it has been used to mean all sorts of things from speed/hurry, a kind of food, plundering, theft, seduction of men, kidnapping women, and sexually violating women.
In more modern times, most of the various definitions have fallen away, and it has come to vaguely mean ‘sexually violating a woman’. But even that is problematic as it doesn’t address by whom, how, and under what circumstances. And that was the intention. By controlling the meaning of the word, men essentially controlled the crime and its prevalence. If a woman can’t fit the constantly shifting definition of the crime, then no crime has been committed against her. Sweet! For men.
Now there are many other issues and problems with how rape is seen and prosecuted, but I won’t be addressing those here as many, many other worthy people have devoted their expertise to its discussion and analysis. My concern is with language; specifically, defining rape, and by whom and to whom is it done.
At some point in the not too distant past, women started speaking up for male victims of sexual assault (male prisoners, Catholic school boys, DV abuse victims, etc), and the movement took on a life of its own. Once a problem experienced by males has been identified, it takes on immediate importance and seriousness on all levels of society, and almost always, if it is similar to a very widespread problem experienced by females, the latter is brushed under the carpet in order to devote time and resources to men and boys.
This has happened with rape. At some point, it was decided that men and boys could be raped. I suspect, like with backlash to all progress women make in having their oppression acknowledged, this male rape victim business followed women making headway in having rape taken seriously. All of a sudden, we heard: “Men can be raped, tooooo!!!” And everyone got on board. With that movement came the mantra that rape wasn’t a sex-motivated crime but one of violence, which I think is incorrect, despite what experts say. If rape were a crime solely of violence/domination, straight men would be ‘raping’ men right, left and centre. They don’t. And at the same time, straight men would just beat up or kill women like they do men and leave the vaginal penetration out of it. I believe rape is a sexual and violent/dominance/power-motivated crime. And the adamant nature of the ‘it’s not sexual’ argument smacks of a patriarchal system cleverly trying to weasel its way out of naming sex-based oppression and male-domination as real problems, which would then have to be dealt with. Men would be held responsible for once, in other words.
And so, ‘rape’ is no longer a sex-based crime committed by men and boys against women and girls as a deliberate act of terrorism designed to uphold a millennia-long system of male dominance. And when you subscribe to that, you erase the existence of misogyny and hate crimes against women. You give equal importance to the occasional ‘rape’ of one man here and there as you do to the international crisis of the rape of women and girls. They essentially become the same, and thus women no longer have a unique problem.
Now, let’s get to my little quiz. On the whole, the respondents were on board with radical feminist theory. There was a small contingent confused by which factors influenced economic outcome most (15% of respondents didn’t see sex as being the number one factor harming economic success, and instead erroneously chose race or sexual orientation).
But the most surprising outcome was that this mostly feminist group of respondents didn’t have a feminist working definition of rape. It surprised me because they well understood why allowing men to define sex, as we are seeing with the whole trans (MtT) movement, is a problem for women. Specifically, when men can magically become women, and when sex and gender are equated, it erases sex. It erases misogyny and sex-based oppression. Women suddenly become ‘oppressors’ of newly transformed/realized ‘women’, instead of the largest and longest-standing oppressed group in the history of the world. So respondents saw this and understood this issue with men controlling language, and specifically the language of oppression as it related to the trans movement.
But what most respondents didn’t get was how allowing men to define the specific term ‘rape’ to be a crime against men and women where perps could possibly be either men or women, erases the seriousness of a crime of sexual terrorism against women. Rape has lost its unique and important meaning, in other words, and even feminists have bought in. I’m worried about that.
One of the three options to the question was about a male-on-female act (which was the feminist answer). The other two options allowed for male AND female victims with variation in wording of details.
Specifically and sadly, only 26% of respondents correctly defined rape as ‘forced, coerced, or unwanted PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex that is done by males to females.
Now, this quiz is not nuanced enough, as I stated in the original post. As the designer, I’m the first one to admit inadequacy. There is more to explore here. I didn’t look at the sex of perps, specifically, but focused on victims. And you certainly can’t draw big conclusions based on an untested test with one inadequate, related question. So, I honestly don’t know what respondents are thinking. I mean something is going on. Possibly people were thinking that in the case of lesbians, women can rape women. Possibly some people believed that rape could involve the penetration of an anus or a mouth. But what was clear was that most respondents believed that men could be raped. And that is a big problem.
But regardless of what is going on, one thing can be said for sure. We need better, woman-defined language concerning different kinds of sexual assault. I would like to see rape better defined to return to a male-on-female crime (as it was for so long) that is both sex-based and sexual in nature as well as power or violence-motivated. I am not sure why ‘forced sodomy’ isn’t enough to describe the assault of men’s (or women’s) anuses. Prison ‘rape’, speaks to me of male guards and psychologists and doctors (and MtTs) sexually assaulting the vaginas of FEMALE prisoners – not of male prisoners/guards assaulting male prisoners. And I think we need to stop calling it that in order to ensure that assault of women and girls actually means something. We need language to address crime between lesbians. We need language to define the occasional assault of a man by a woman. We need clear language about specific acts. We really don’t have that. There is better definition of acts in porn…
As it is, rape is now a word that can apply to anyone and everyone for all sorts of different acts of sexual violence, which isn’t really sexual, but ‘violent’. Whatever.
Like all people, I’m constantly surrounded by male violence and the sensationalism and glorification of male violence. Today was no different.
I was forced to spend precious time dealing with Chinese racist bullshit today, and as I was standing in one of the businesses I had to deal with, my attention swivelled to the television they had turned on in a corner of the establishment. It was news hour, and lo and behold, the story was about some Chinese man who’d made a video (ransom demand? who the hell knows) of himself with a knife to the throat of some Chinese kid. All the customers, including a little kid hanging about, were riveted. I was disgusted. Same shit, different day, different country, different culture. Men being garbage and shitting on innocents.
And that sent my mind to wander. In the US, the same scenario has presented itself time and time again – the weapon of choice is more likely to be a gun, but the intent is the same. Psycho man threatens woman or child or a whole mess of them at once. And my mind turned to how women just don’t do this shit. You never see news stories about women taking hostages (unless they are under the thrall of a male psychopath), or shooting up places, or doing random violence. Very rarely you’ll see a mother who has killed her children; I’m actually surprised we don’t see more of this given how many women are forced into motherhood and marital slavery despite hating children and become mentally broken down as a result, but that is another post. I’m following a train of thought here.
So after contemplating how little violent crime is perpetrated by women, my mind turned to school shootings and the little turds who commit that kind of crime. They are ALWAYS male. Always. Always. It’s a very male thing to do despite most people’s knee-jerk scrambling wish to explain away the behaviour as a random act. Nope. Men are about violence. It is their solution to what they see as problems.
And then my mind turned to trannies, in particular men and boys who feel squishy inside and think that squishiness is an essential and defining female quality. With the desperate push all over the West now to convert boys to girls as early as possible, I really believe we are going to see a change in crime statistics. Suddenly, there will be (we’re seeing it already!) this inexplicable (haha) increase in women raping women. Magic! Sociologists are likely salivating over a new conundrum. Why are girls suddenly becoming so violent? We don’t understand despite all our insight and higher learning. What could be going on??? Is it all the education girls are getting these days? Is it that evil feminism corrupting them???
No, undeserving PhD holders. You see, putting a dress on a boy doesn’t change anything except his outward appearance. He is still a boy with all the violent tendencies that go along with XY status. When he commits violent acts, he is doing it as a boy and because he is a boy. I mean, I read some of the threatening, evil shit they write to and about women online, and all I see and hear is male. Women don’t talk filth like trannies do.
And I really think it is only a matter of time before one of these social-outcast, mentally deranged, confused, damaged, gun-home-residing boys comes to school in a dress and a mask and toting a
metal penis gun, and shoots the fucking place up. And he’ll shoot girls, primarily. Because girls – especially ones who don’t trust and embrace them without question – are the natural enemy of a trans, according to most of them. And the news headline will read “First female mass school shooting.” And a whole new cohort of sociologists will have their PhD dissertation material at the ready. And I guarantee you that under the bus, you’ll find a badly smushed radical feminism, an easy target for all that’s wrong with the world.
I’m gearing up to a big post on rape. I’ve been reviewing the data from the fun little quiz that I designed recently (which is still open if you care to take a few minutes out of your day and click the button) to get some ideas about diluted feminism (larger context: The Ice Cube Effect and Feminism Dilution).
I’ll be posting soon on a few interesting things I noticed, namely the overwhelming misunderstanding of what rape is.
Today, I’m preparing for teaching, which starts up again tomorrow, and also procrastinating a bit by listening to Mancheeze’s live meet-up/broadcast on prostitution. Every time I read about or listen to stuff about male depravity – anything having to do with porn, prostitution, violence against women, etc. – I’m sent into a very important, unmaintainable, self-preserving, and ultimately stressful state. It is a state which, if maintainable, would help women quit men for good (which some of us have managed). It is a state that I can only describe as being the chilling or ice-cold, crystal-clear awareness that men absolutely hate women. There is no other way to describe a human who can take pleasure in any of those things that women only do because they are desperate or dependent. I’m not going to get into how all those things are harmful because it is a truth that has been described elsewhere in great detail, and as such, is both Feminism 101 and not debatable to me. Anyone who can’t see the harm to women in marriage, prostitution, pornography, BDSM or any of that line of male domination business is no friend to women. And I don’t get into discussions with them. Men who engage in or defend these unassailable ‘institutions’ hate women. Period.
So when I enter these intense, short-lived states of being highly aware of the male hate that absolutely surrounds and suffocates me and every other woman on the planet, sometimes I try to imagine what it would be like to be male or to live like a male. In order to do this, I try to imagine putting at the centre of my motivation and my entire existence a single body part. That single body part guides how I treat other people and how I see myself. It is hard to know whether I love that part, hate it, worship it, or have some complicated mix of all three, but what is clear is that catering to that body part requires that I do harm to at least one other person. How could narcissistic self-love not harm others? So I design my relationships to cater to that body part. My sexual interactions with others revolve solely around that body part. I design and support a world that caters to my body part to the detriment of other people who don’t have that body part. And I defend my body part and the world that caters to my body part against (perceived) attack, questioning, demands for justification and reparations for those who suffer because of them. I defend myself using violence, threats, arguments about the rights and supremacy of my body part. My body part is more important than the lives of millions. And the government, the law, the medical establishment, and every other power structure in the world agree with me.
In other words, cock is king.
In order to get inside the heads (either one) of men, one must put the supremacy of a single body part (the penis) at the centre. That is the best way I can understand how men operate. And I think that women really can’t see men for what they are – apathetic, narcissistic and sometimes sadistic destroyers with a single body part at the centre of it all directing the show/game/war – because women aren’t capable of putting a single, selfish body part at the centre of their pleasure at the expense of the rest of the world. And for that matter, women don’t really have an equivalent body part that can deal the damage that the penis does.
Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.
I generally dislike using quotes and those who quote frequently/constantly either in speaking or writing. I teach my writing students that, unless their essays are specifically about discussing the ideas inherent in a particular quote, to try to avoid using quotes altogether because it breeds a dependency on them and a lack of originality in thinking. My problems with quotes are multi-fold. First, most things have been said before in different ways by many people. Second, men frequently get credit for things that were most likely said by women first (often their mothers or female spouses, but also friends and colleagues). Third, nasty and/or dumb people live on in history for some chance statement that they have stolen and said loudly enough to be heard, and are then remembered as clever or noble. And finally, heavy reliance upon quotes can be problematic as it prevents you from trying to use your own words, and I find that most of us misunderstand the original meaning of quotes or get the attribution wrong. Quotes can be handy for starting discussions or to start an essay, but addiction is easy.
I do take a bit of exception to feminist quotes because for one, women, their existence, their ideas, and their words are typically erased from history by men. When a feminist says something important that is remembered, I try to preserve it. As well, feminists tell us very important truths about reality, and we’d all do well to remember them. Women tend not to remember or even acknowledge their realities. So I have a choice slideshow of feminist quotes in my sidebar, and today, I’ve pulled one of my favourites, one of the simplest and easiest to remember, and of course, one of the messages that pretty much all women forget.
It would be easy and convenient if it were only rich, white, Christian, straight dudes who were the thorn in Woman’s side. They could easily be targeted and dealt with. They certainly are not the majority in the world. But alas, it is not true. The truth is that all men hate all women. It might be seething violent hate manifesting openly in criminal behaviour against women. But it can also be as hidden as an undersized testicle, no one finding out about it until the right set of circumstances put you into direct contact with it. But it is there, in all men. On a continuum from violently open to extremely well-hidden. And one thing women don’t want to believe is that even men who are clear or visible members of Oppressed Groups™ hate them too. One of the worst mistakes a woman can make is to assume that a man can bond with her over being silenced or erased.
No, you see, men are men and all that comes with it (this is the differential interaction effect of nature and nurture on females and males). Key among their group qualities is a real and significant inability to empathize. And this means that men in groups that are hurt by society are unable to feel anything for other marginalized groups and are often quite easily able to abuse those people without any kind of self-reflection. And by ‘those people’, I mean women, primarily. Oppressed men can frequently feel some kind of kinship with men from other marginalized groups, but not with women, in general, or women in said groups. So in this way, a poor man can show support for a gay man, but is open about his rape fantasies of lesbians or watches ‘lesbian’ porn. Likewise, men of any and all groups will take the PTSD of male soldiers seriously, but will have a laugh about or just dismiss the rape of female soldiers by these same male soldiers. (Oh, and by the way, soldiers are not ‘oppressed’ – quite the opposite, in fact, as they are state-sanctioned murderers, and the males are state-sanctioned rapists, as well. I’m referring to PTSD, a mental health condition, which is marginalizing.)
And within groups themselves, women have discovered that fighting the good fight alongside their male counterparts hasn’t been all it’s cracked up to be. Lesbians don’t get support from gay men. Poor women don’t get support from poor men. Atheist women don’t get support from atheist men. Black women don’t get support from black men. Rather, they are expected to do all the grunt work, act as cannon fodder on the front lines including getting arrested, take charge of feeding and watering the male members, look after children if there are any, and (except in the case of LGB groups – although that is changing since adding the T and Q) provide sex. When there are movements for change, what women forget is that men aren’t interested in equality. They are interested in moving up the ladder of power, the rungs of which are women’s backs, and we see this time and again in revolutionary movements. The underclass fights the oppressors, and then replaces them and keeps the same male hierarchy in place. Nothing changes. Women are still on the bottom and left wondering what the fight was for.
So let’s get to gay men – that is, after all, the topic of this post.
I recently wrote a post about another marginalized group – atheists. And as atheist men hate you, so do gay men.
I just spent three weeks travelling through California, which means I was surrounded by tons of out-and-proud gay men loudly spewing woman-hate, and not caring if women were around to hear them. I sat in restaurants PAYING for service that didn’t just include food, but also large sides of misogyny. PAYING to sit there listening to the gay men across the room – including gay staff members – talk about bitches and cunts and say some of the most misogynist things I heard on my trip, even surpassing the bullshit said by straight men I encountered. If I were a gay man having to listen to homophobia in a restaurant, I could probably sue. But as a woman, I have no rights to feel safe in a public place. I would have been laughed out of the joint.
You don’t have to look far to find nice little object lessons. And yet another was presented to me the other day online. The latest horrific piece of news in Trans-World is that some smug little MtT is looking to take leadership within the UK’s National Union of Students as the Women’s Officer. It is distressing. And women are blogging in protest. I headed over to the reblog of an article on this by a woman I read only to find some dude was already jizzing all over the comments. He had provided an insulting reference to a female public figure commenting on how the trans looked like her (he didn’t, actually – I couldn’t see the similarity). He also couldn’t figure out from the title of the original blogged article what the issue was with a trannie heading up the arm of a major women’s organization. He went on a mansplaining, dick-wagging, woman-shaming blah-blah-blah about clothing and how lesbians dress or don’t dress. It actually didn’t make any sense and had nothing to do with why the article was reblogged. If the mainsplaining didn’t give him away as a misogynist, it was the inability to understand the problem with the article that did.
I normally try to resist interacting with clueless men, but he asked a question: what is the issue here? He thought it was clothing. I had no idea he was gay or actually known to and a friend of the female blogger. All I knew was that he was pro-trans and thus anti-feminist. I mean seriously, he has nothing to lose from a man taking over a woman’s movement or women’s spaces. So, of course, he will promote it. Only women are hurt by this. So I let him know that the information about what was being disapproved of was clear in the title (directly naming ‘male pretendbian’, which we all know means ‘MtT pretending to be a lesbian’) of the post. I mean come on, my Chinese students have better reading comprehension, I said. The misogynist responded with a flurry of woman-hate, calling me both a genius AND an imbecile, which was hilarious, and for some bizarre reason, telling me that the article was a reblog, which I and everyone else knew. And then, when I addressed the blogger on the woman-hate in the comment section, Dood attacked me again by announcing his gayness and positing that the only way he could possibly hurt women is by throwing a glitter bomb on us. Clueless, but given that he supports men in dresses, and by definition, of the pro-trans right of men (in dresses) to demand sex from lesbians, this is not a big surprise. Men think they are harmless. Even when they are in the middle of being harmful.
Gay men may not actually rape us, but they play an important role in normalizing violent and denigrating thinking about women and about normalizing the idea of women as objects (e.g., negating women in the LGB movement) and filthy, hateful things (e.g., the ‘ick factor’) or as walking pornified sexual stereotypes (e.g., gender reinforcement through drag queening). And they are often more vocal in their misogyny than straight men. And they are just as excellent at mansplaining as straight dudes. And because they are marginalized, they get away with it.
The lesson here is that you should never forget that no matter how marginalized a man may say he is or that society says he is, he is always more powerful than all women. As I appear to continually say (because it’s true, goddammit), penis trumps vagina. Always. Always. Always. Don’t be fooled. Gay men hate you too. And it’s more than just glitter bombs and cat fights they threaten you with.
Sometimes, I write unpopular posts. They are unpopular because they make people uncomfortable. They make people uncomfortable because I don’t jump on bandwagons, I don’t join the fray, I don’t like adopting and using catchy slogans or mantras just to gain points with the ‘socially aware’. When people jump on band wagons because it feels like they are doing the ‘right thing’ according to frenzied activists, the ability to analyze reality is lost. And when you can no longer stand back and analyze what is going on, you don’t realize the harm that you’re doing to people who have more in common with you than you think. You don’t realize that you’ve lost sight of what you thought you were joining up with and what your purpose was in the first place.
It is irresistible to attack women. We have ALL felt that, and all people do it, often without realizing it. It is so normalized, and there really is a feel-good effect of taking down a woman you think has over-stepped in some way. I wouldn’t be surprised if we found pleasure-producing, chemical effects in the brain following attacking an uppity woman. No matter what your credo is, there is an underlying current running through us that women must be perfect, self-effacing, and no matter what place they hold in the male-created hierarchy, they are to blame for allowing it to be so. Even experienced radical feminists are tainted by this lifelong brainwashing that creates an automatic, negative, woman-blaming response to social phenomena and every single evil in the world. It really takes a massive effort and commitment to learn to condition yourself to stop and look at what is really going on.
I read a lot of feminist blogs – not just current stuff, but posts published within the last 8-10 years, and this phenomenon can be seen everywhere. It is incredible how many posts begin with or eventually devolve into woman-castigation, usually riding the wave of intersectionality. If you start off a feminist post or discussion with open disgust for educated women, academic women, white collar women, (supposedly) rich women, able-bodied women, Western women, young women, white women, heterosexual women, married women, childless women, or some combination of the above, you’ve lost me a bit. You’ve meandered off the feminist path and are demonstrating your male-identification. There is a difference between critique and blame. There is a difference between naming the real underlying problem and scoring points for using a tired, smug, bullshit cliché (‘privileged white woman’ and ‘privileged white feminist’ are the most overused, but feel like magic on your tongue) to slam a group that is unpopular in current liberal times, convenient to pick on, and not actually at the root of what you’re complaining about. I mean, I get it. I have particular groups of women that fucking piss me off, and I could rail on them all day. Would it solve anything by shaming them into silence – just like a man would do? Absolutely not. They are women and they are trying to survive in the same world the rest of us are. They may have different conditions presented to them, but they have the same central reason for being targeted that we all do. And no woman is omniscient. No woman can be all things to all people. No matter what you think all her advantages are, she is still part of the underclass and blaming her for not doing enough to see every other person’s point of view as she navigates her survival as a woman, is unreasonable, and frankly, exactly what men want and need in order to maintain their power.
When you really back things up, you’ll find that penis dominance and petty rewards for penis worship are at the root of pretty much everything. If you need to think about that for a moment, ask yourself, ‘Would this shit exist if men didn’t exist?’ We can’t answer that definitively, but you can actually break something down by asking key ‘why’ questions. Why does this particular group of women react this way? Why do these women hold these particular views? Why can’t these particular women see or understand my particular perspective? Why does it seem like these women hate meeeee? And when you answer that – and I mean a real answer, not a knee-jerk, unthinking “Because they are privileged” – you’ll find that male dominance is there running the show, providing the shitty and limited options to women. Women haven’t created the oppression that women experience in this world. That is the important thing that we need to remember and that most forget. In fact, it’s a little presumptuous and self-centred to expect other women to alleviate every one of your specific oppressions for you. Your anger is justified, but it’s pointed at the wrong person/people. Ask the ‘why’ questions and explore reality and who your allies are.
After you ask and answer the why-questions, you can easily see that women appear to take on oppressive, ‘privileged’ positions because it has been made clear that in order to lessen the potential harm in their lives, they have to play the power game. Academic women, and business women for that matter, don’t keep their jobs (which they need to feed themselves) if they are aggressive radical feminists, but by playing the male-power game. Rich women usually aren’t as rich as you think they are, or they are the concubines of rich men, which is a different form of prostitution than most people usually think about, and leads to serious penis-identification. Religious women frequently don’t have a choice about their penis-identification because it is all they have known since birth and there is often serious ostracism (and sometimes serious physical danger) threatened if they leave the fold. Heterosexual woman have scary and complicated ties to parasitical males, including birthed sons, and have serious male-identification issues as a result. And on it goes.
I’m not making excuses for people. I do believe that the more ‘freedom’ you have within an oppressive regime, the more responsibility you have to oppose the dominant order. And there are a lot of things that can be done that don’t threaten your life or your survival, although they may threaten your sense of place in a world where you’ve become very used to wearing chains. A lot of women can’t get to that point because it IS scary AND you have to come face-to-face with your own woman-hatred. And while there is a lot to gain from opposing Dick, it is safer when done in numbers, which will never happen. Doing it alone while feeling alone can be very threatening, but it can be done. Life will be hard, and few women (and no men) will thank you for it.
But if you are going to commit yourself to feminism – female-focused feminism – then you have to resist the knee-jerk blaming and shaming of particular groups of women for something that men are fundamentally responsible for. Men need to change it, not women. Point your fingers in the right direction and work together with (or if you can’t then just distance yourself from) the female groups you have trouble with.
That is not to say that critique is not possible. Critique of harmful movements or actions or statements is necessary. Of course. But critique, don’t blame. Women aren’t doing shit you don’t like because they are evil oppressors. They are doing it because they are reacting to (often poorly or in an uneducated fashion) and trying to survive in a system designed to destroy them because of their sex. And sex is at the root of all other oppressions, thanks to men. Critique feminist or anti-feminist movements. Blame patriarchy. Hold men responsible for the lack of options women have and for being forced to choose one of those shitty options.
It seems like a year ago now that I was abroad, especially as I look at some of the photos I took whilst away. Some of the photos, I wanted to put on my blog, and others are just for me to remember specific things and are for my eyes only.
On my way back to China, I had an overnight layover at the Taipei airport. I spent hours wandering the place – most airports are kinda weird at night, and you can notice things you might not see when things are crazy and populated during the daytime. I’ve being in some shitty airports, and I’ve been in some state-of-the-art airports, and I’ve noticed something. The more modern the airport, the more apparent it is that they are male-dominated, capitalist strongholds that sell rape, and (mostly white) female objectification and subordination to the men of the world, and that convince the women of the world that it is sexy, required, and therefore ridiculous to complain about or oppose. And this is done very, very easily through advertisements. Pictures of vulnerable, pornified women draped over or adorned with crap that no one needs.
And most of the time, the ads are of pornified white women and girls. It is not a mark of privilege to be the most rapable, the most objectified. To be seen as cunt on legs is nothing to aspire to or envy. Sorry, ladies of colour. This is not privilege. And it is not what we freely choose, no matter what a handful of really loud fun-feminist cockpuppets tell you. When they open their mouths, you can actually see the head of a penis directing the show and talking away about its needs. Real feminists want ALL women to be completely free from being used in this way and to figure out what their place in the world is while free of male demands for penis worship.
Anyhow, while walking the miles of corridor in the Taipei airport, I ran across tons of pornified, two-dimensional white women and the products on which [rich men of all colours decided] their tits and pussies put the stamp of approval. And you know what? I often couldn’t figure out what product was being sold. The only thing that I knew for sure was for sale was the white girls and women themselves. I used to wonder if men were that fucking stupid to fall for this. I was disbelieving in my youth. We women always want to believe in the best in people, especially men and especially after they abuse us. But with age and more experience than I wish I had, I have come to know for sure that, frighteningly, yes, men are that dumb. Super dumb. And coupling lack of intelligence with entitlement and willful ignorance, they sink to unfathomable depths of violence and depravity, reducing females to things. So the advertisements are of things (women) selling things (products). All to make men (rapists) feel like men (rapists) who want and own shit – shit being both the women themselves and the stuff they are advertising. And of course, all to make women feel inadequate and distract them from pursuing more important things (careers, skills, independence, self-confidence) than becoming temporarily desired (hated) objects.
The most disturbing advertisement I saw that night was selling white pedophelia. It was a larger than life poster of a vulnerable-looking, white girl-child with almost-exposed, barely-formed breasts. As you can see below, she looks like she has been violated – that haunted, ‘is rape all I can expect from life?’ look – and is just realizing that she is just a fuckhole. I think she might be selling a watch (?), but really, it is just White Girl Tits and Pussy™ that are being sold.
If this diverse group of guys can see past their differences to bond over enjoyment and perpetuation and normalizing of rape, rape culture, and female subordination…
Then this diverse group of women should be able to see past their differences to bond over opposing men’s enjoyment and perpetuation and normalization of rape, rape culture and male domination.
And yet, they seldom do. Instead, they bicker, blame, finger-point, and forget all about what they have in common: that men hurt them because of their sex and that ALL men benefit from both this hurt and the inability to come together over it.
Why can’t women bond?
The answer, my friend, is blowing through the pubic, leg and pit hair that men are allowed to have and wear with pride. Men have divided women through the male invention and maintenance of racism, homophobia, religious bullshit, and capitalism. Without men, women suddenly have no manufactured reason to hate one another.