There isn’t a single culture on this earth where males don’t lust after and pursue the objectification, assault, and rape of little girls. Pedophelia is built into all religions, condoned by all systems of government, and is practised by all racial and ethnic groups in every country in the world. It has been practised, often in a publicly sanctioned way, since time began. I’ve written before that there really is no such thing in males or females as natural ‘heterosexuality’. I’d extend that, in males, to human-oriented sexuality. Males are attracted to anything that they can envision will accommodate their dicks. It can be a living thing or an inanimate object. It can be natural or man-made. It can be human or animal. And among humans, there really is no difference for men between adults and children except where lame attempts have been made to set up guidelines on which humans can be raped by men with impunity. All this is to say that all men have a variety of lusts in them, including towards children (especially girl children). It’s just that some men hide these lusts better than others, and some are more successfully conditioned to react negatively to children as sexual stimuli. Conditioning doesn’t erase pedophilic tendencies, mind you.
Every culture on the planet has a pedophilic underbelly and often, an above-ground set of bizarre, but unquestioned, rituals, designed to prepare girl children for use by males of all ages. And that same system reinforces this brainwashing by putting into the heads of adult women that their value increases if they, too, pursue youthful appearances and behaviours. Some rituals are common across time and place, but each culture has its set of weird shit that is forced upon women and girls to prepare them for use by males. And as adult females pursue their return to a ‘jail bait’ state, they further serve as examples to girls. And sad to say, but mothers are the number one enforcers of female slave behaviour in their daughters. Very few girls escape having an infantilized and acquiescing sex slave as a role model in their childhood homes.
It is no coincidence that feminization goes hand in hand with infantilization. Feminization has nothing to do with this fabled ‘sexual power’ that men tell us we have (the power to inspire boners). No, sexual power is held solely by men – it is the power to rape, among other male sexual privileges. Rather, feminization is the reduction of a female to a powerless, submissive, sexualized, objectified state. Infantilization is the reduction of a person to a powerless, submissive, child-like state. In females, they are essentially the same thing, and you only need to do one to make the other easier to achieve. An infantilized adult woman would seem more feminine. And a feminized adult woman would seem more infantilized. Imagine how difficult it is to infantilize a butch lesbian, for example – it’s difficult because she is not feminizing herself or allowing anyone to feminize her. The woman who cannot be infantilized / feminized is very threatening to men and women who serve men. She refuses to be owned.
[A note on emasculation. ‘Emasculation’ – which is something men complain about, but really isn’t a thing – is the male reaction to a woman who challenges his perceived right to dominate and/or rape women. Men can only be ’emasculated’ if they believe they are naturally superior to women and believe they can do what they want to them with impunity. So, you see, it really isn’t a serious thing at all, but the whining of insecure and unintelligent males who have enjoyed an enormous amount of privilege in their lives. There is no equivalent to emasculation for women. Women have never had any kind of power. The closest would be feminization/infantilization, which is more of an ensuring that power is never achieved rather than a taking away of (non-existent) power. Emasculation is actually a good thing for men – and the entire world – and really, should be called ‘humanization’ – the stripping of men’s right to threaten, control, rape, and kill women with impunity – a process that makes males more human.]
The feminization and infantilization of women all over the world is almost ubiquitously accepted by females, so effective has the brainwashing program been. Women don’t question the strange and cruel rituals they are forced to engage in, and often serve as on-the-ground enforcers for children and non-conforming, rebel-women, thus lessening the work men have to put into controlling the female population. All practices are designed, often by women themselves in a subconscious effort to make themselves more appealingly rapeable to pedophiles. That is key to remember. All feminization practices all over the world are designed to make women seem like fuckable children, the preferred human targets for men. Confident, strong, independent, adult women don’t tend to fall so easily for male nonsense and tend to distance themselves from male control. There is no appeal to men in this kind of person. Children, on the other hand, aside from their child bodies, which are incomprehensibly attractive to males (honestly, I can’t even get into the head of a generic male in order to understand their universal pedophilic lusts), children are naive, inexperienced, and easy to manipulate psychologically and intellectually. These characteristics are appealing to men, in general.
So what do women do to make themselves more appealing to rapists? I don’t have enough space here to discuss the range of rituals carried out in different countries, but I’ll offer a few up.
In China, where I have years of experience, I notice that it is customary for women to refer to themselves as ‘girls’. In university classrooms, males will refer to themselves as men, but their same-age female classmates will be ‘girls’. If I call them ‘women’, everybody gets weirded out. It has been explained to me that that is what males want. They want a female who acts like a girl. And after years of watching predictable and repetitive interactions between dating and married couples here, I understand the dance well. Females are required to be literally physically led around by males. They are not to have preferences. They are required to sulk, and pout, and cry, and sit silently alternating with throwing infantile temper tantrums when something is inevitably done wrong by the male in the relationship. They act very much like children, in other words. Women are required to give little slaps of protest to the arms of their boyfriends or husbands when said dude is messing around. They are required to let deficient males cheat off them in class and then to accept the inevitable rewarding of these same incompetent males with better jobs, more opportunities and higher pay. Chinese women are completely infantilized. And when they refuse to act like children – especially in the workplace – they are called ‘dragon ladies’.
I was also treated to a charming relating of a Chinese myth by one of my local friends. He was telling me that some people believe that daughters are actually former lovers of their fathers in a past life. He thought it was a cute and sweet story. I felt revolted and saw an open door for rationalizing incestuous pedophilia. I don’t know how common this belief actually is. But it is creepy as hell and an example of one of the many myths men around the world design in order to create justifications for the abuse of female children and adults.
We have infantilizing, pedophilic rituals in the West as well. One prime example is the tortuous and irrational practice of removing body hair from female bodies. Almost all Western women cling to this practice and angrily protest and relentlessly attack brave and strong women who refuse to submit to this idiocy. The practice is becoming worse and more barbaric with new techniques and harsher standards. More and more hair has been stripped from women’s bodies – there is practically nothing left on women these days. And the only explanation that makes sense for how this all started is that it has to do with trying to obtain a child-like body. Little girls have almost no hair on their bodies. Men like to rape and objectify little girls. But how did this horrific ritual start? How did we get from allowing girls to grow naturally into adult women to forcing women to believe their naturally maturing bodies were gross or unnatural or dirty? I can only imagine that male pedophilia is at its root. Women either got jealous (probably) or wanted to distract their husbands from raping their daughters (um, possibly), and decided that instead of standing up and saying ‘fuck off!’, they would distract the pedophiles and try to bring them back to the path of woman-rape. I can’t imagine any other reason for this practice’s origin that makes sense. All irrational female behaviour and thought patterns are directly caused by male control, rape, and destruction. Sorry dudes, women don’t irrationally try to destroy themselves for the hell of it. It is because of men. And for some reason, women think it makes more sense to go along with self-destruction than to fight.
Western marital name-changing is also an infantilizing ritual done only to women. Erasing a woman’s human identity and branding her with the mark of her husband just like a child or livestock is another way in which women are denied any kind of power. It has been said many times that there is power in a name. And it makes sense that any power that may come from that might be denied a woman. Men and women alike scoff at the idea that it is a big deal for a woman to change her name. But suggest to a man that he take a wife’s name, or even better, accidentally call a man by his wife’s name (if she keeps her surname), and you’ll find out just what a big deal it is. I remember witnessing a never-ending and irrationally blown-out-of-proportion rant by my left-wing, liberal, highly educated father one time when he answered the phone and was called his wife’s name by a telemarketer. It was like he had received a death threat, given the way he reacted to what was an innocent mistake. See, marital name change IS a big deal and it serves to infantilize women and to reinforce that they are the sexual property of their master-husband.
Another example that is present in many cultures in the world is that of beauty pageants. There is an increasing interest in entering young girls into pageants and forcing sexuality and objectification on them in very blatant ways. It is a messed up world of making little girls look and act more like adult women. We are at a point where little girls and women are clearly being told they are one and the same. Fuck objects. But, the younger, the better. It is truly horrifying.
Likely, you can think of specific examples of pedophelia support in your own life / culture. Perhaps (likely), you even do things yourself that support pedophelia through the infantilizing of yourself, your female offspring, and/or the women around you. All feminization serves to infantilize women, and remember that all infantilization of adult women is rooted in men’s desire for children. Controllable, rapeable, infantilized women are the closest thing today’s men can legally get to children. And women are deeply invested in keeping men raping them, and will go to great lengths to makes themselves seem as young as possible. Like in my other posts on enforced heterosexuality (and enforced sexuality), I truly believe that men are not specifically designed to fuck women. They get turned on by anything and everything, and if it comes to humans, little girls are often much more appealing than less naive and harder-to-control adult women. Ask yourself if you really, truly want to know exactly how large the international, underground and deep-web pedo-porn rings are. And whether your hubbies and boyfriends and fathers and sons are jerking off to pics and vids of children. Yeah, you might not want to know…
To be honest, it only took a month of living in Chinese culture to see how racist and sexist and misanthropic they are. It took a year for them to beat the little joie de vivre that I had out of me. On a visit to the West after that first year, everyone who knew me told me I had changed somehow, but they couldn’t figure out how exactly. More serious, for one. I think they chalked it up to ‘maturity’, when really, years later, I realized that constant racist misogyny had killed part of my naivete and good-naturedness. It was actually after a year of living in Chinese culture, back in 2003, that I became a person who cries easily in public and who learned to stop fighting. I became a little broken. Before that, I don’t think I’d cried in public since I was 5 and was beat up by a group of boys while walking home by myself from Kindergarten. But after that year of relentless Chinese beatings, something in me changed for the worse. I think that old saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is bullshit. The 8 cumulative years I’ve spent living and working among and with the Chinese have not made me ‘stronger’. They’ve made me depressed, angry, suspicious, jaded, and absofuckinglutely disgusted with their culture. In the years since, I’ve examined the concept of culture, and I don’t understand the reverence all cultures receive (except for ‘western culture’, that is). But that is a post for another time. I have a lot to say about culture.
No, I am recording a few thoughts and experiences from a new semester here in China. I have two jobs still. Both teaching jobs. I make so little money teaching university that I started looking for extra work last year. And so a few times a week, I get up at 5:30 am, commute for 1.5-2 hours, spend all day teaching in 100 °F weather with no air conditioning, and then commute another 1.5-2 hours back to arrive home by 8 pm. It’s exhausting. And on top of that, there is dealing with the Chinese system/bureaucracy, and of course, endless racism and misogyny.
Last week, I walked into a brand new class of students only to be greeted by one of the 19-year-old male students with: “Hello, beautiful girl”. I’m 44, I don’t dress like a whore looking for sexual attention, and I also don’t dress or act like a ‘girl’ (which I’ve been criticized for in the past). I was pissed. In a country where teaching commands more respect than most jobs (unless you are a non-Chinese female), this was a serious offense of disrespect. Western men never get this. And Chinese women don’t get this. But it is common for me. I’m white and female, and thus a sexual object AND a dancing monkey that all foreigners are expected to be. Oglable entertainment. My education and experience count for nothing. I’ve never experienced disrespect like that when I’ve taught university in Western countries. And things in my classrooms can get much worse than that – from male as well as female students. On day one, I try to teach my students that respect is a two-way street. They’ll get it from me, but I expect it from them. Most don’t understand this at all. But, you know, respecting women is touchy, and white women are not really women, but objects. So why should they respect me?
There are two of us foreigners at my second job/college. Me: the white whore. And a black Muslim man from Africa (he tells everyone he is from Canada, even though his passport is not Canadian). English isn’t even his first language. I usually speak French to him. I’m sure we both have our super-special experiences at the hands of uber-racist Chinese. I’ve been curious. There are different stereotypes for different races, but some of the treatment manifests in the same way. I will say that there is no way in hell this dude is ever sexually harassed or sexually assaulted like I am. He is male. He probably gets the racist comments and looks and ostracism and fear reactions that I get. But most Chinese are too afraid of blacks to physically try anything against them. I, on the other hand, am deemed to be more assailable. Women are easier to assault, for one. That is a universal truth. But I will bet you my high salary most Chinese won’t sexually assault a black woman. Black women don’t have the ‘whore’ status attached to them that white women do. Sorry, black chicks. You are not sexualized like we are in most places in the world, despite what you say to the contrary. You are wrong. I’m tired of women of colour trying to tell me what I do and don’t experience.
Anyhow, one day, black dude and I were put in direct competition for most hated/feared object. We both won.
After a long, exhausting day at my college, all staff commuting in my general direction boarded the large coach bus (we have three staff buses going to different places) designated for us. Black dude and I ride the same bus. We were both seated near the back, but not together. The bus filled up. Chinese people seldom sit beside non-Chinese unless they absolutely have to. And they will either spill onto you or cringe away from you, depending on the message they want to send. So, seats disappeared, and we found ourselves still sitting alone. Just before the bus left, a Chinese male professor got on the bus. Keep in mind that every single teaching staff member is educated. Many have masters degrees. A few might have more than that. But education does not equal lack of ignorance. So, all the seats at the front were filled, and Chinese dude slowly walked to the back scanning the seats. He noted that there were only two seats left: the one beside the black dude and the one beside me. He started to panic. He didn’t want to sit beside either of us. I mean seriously: a white whore and a black Muslim? What could be worse? Who would YOU choose?????????
The Chinese fuck didn’t know what to do. He was spinning in circles, his face desperate. I made up my mind that I was not going to accommodate his racism. He was going to have to solve the problem himself. And apparently the black dude came to the same conclusion. We stayed in our seats and forced the racist to choose his course of action.
All of a sudden, a Chinese woman – a colleague (yes, all of these shits are my fucking colleagues) shouted out in Chinese to the man panicking in the aisle. She saw another empty seat a few seats ahead. The man very visibly relaxed in distinct relief, and practically ran towards the front of the bus. Phew!!! He could sit beside a Chinese. No foreign germs for him!
I spoke loudly to the bus at large: “You people are racist!” I know a few people understood me (including one of my colleagues in the English department – actually, the bitch who wants to get pregnant so she doesn’t have to deal with the foreign staff anymore. She is the foreign staff liaison, and she fucking hates us.) Nobody said a word. A few laughed. Chinese people don’t believe they are either racist or sexist. Every single one of them makes up excuses to me if I dare to bring up their racism. They call it ‘curiosity’ and have other euphemisms and explanations. But never prejudice. It is bizarre how much they deny their hate, and instead focus on how victimized they feel (standard Communist propaganda keeps this going). The Chinese are the biggest victims compared to everyone else in the world. It is very much like talking to men about their misogyny. Systemic misogyny, according to men, doesn’t exist. Men are always the biggest victims. They hurt so, so much. As do the Chinese (victims of Japan, Hong Kong, the Philippines, the US – everybody!)
So I had my answer. Black men don’t have it worse than me in China, especially since they are not sexually assaulted.
The bus? Just another day in China for me. At least I had a fucking seat to myself, right?
Stuck in my mind is a moment in time, a fragment of space, from my recent visit to Seattle. In one tiny slice of time and place that spoke volumes about society at large. And it all happened on a street corner in the downtown core, and if one was paying attention, one might spend some time wondering about the nature of racism and misogyny. But most people don’t pay attention, and things go on as they do, in perpetual violence.
I approached a street corner one afternoon. There was a tall, belligerent-looking black dude on the corner. He began shouting at a short, middle-aged Chinese man. I saw exactly what was going on. It was a Chinese tourist. How did I know? Well, said Chinese dude was acting, not like a Westernized Chinese, but like every Chinese dude acts in China when face-to-face with a non-Chinese. He stopped and was staring rudely, mouth open, disgust and horror on his face. It is a look and behaviour that mainland Chinese call “curiosity”. I know the look well because I get it from tens, hundreds, and thousands (depending on how long I am in public) every single time I set foot outside my apartment as a walking, talking white whore living in China. But the black dude couldn’t handle it – this one, lone, ignorant Chinese fucker got under his angry skin. On a level, I get it. I fucking HATE the way Chinese stare at me. In the US and the semi-civilized West, in general, staring is rude. Staring at someone without a hello or some sort of verbal engagement that expresses one’s intentions is immediate cause for suspicion, fear (for women), anger, and if done to a man, can often lead to a physical altercation. But the Chinese make staring into another thing altogether – although they believe in masking emotion, they have no problem expressing naked hatred, horror and disgust on their faces. The Chinese are one of the most racist groups on earth, so this particular Chinese tourist didn’t think twice about engaging in a typical Chinese behaviour used against non-Chinese while in China where he is used to having the upper hand. Welcome to America, though. The black dude, confronted by a racist Chinese, retaliated with his racism. Blacks are also racists, and their brand of racism often manifests in loudness, belligerence and violence. He yelled, “What the fuck you lookin’ at, Chinaman?!? Chinatown is that way!” And he pointed south, which indeed, was where Chinatown was located. The Chinese racist was lucky that the black racist didn’t knock him flat on his ass. I moved on before getting stuck in the action. I just don’t give a shit what men do to each other and I hate it when women get caught in the middle.
But I thought about inviting that black dude to China where he could learn what real racism was. He would see how good his life is in the US. Where his growing power and violence and outrage (at comparatively little) and his privilege over all women are supported by liberal whites and violent, racist movements like Black Lives Matter. I’d like to invite him to China where, like me, he would truly have no voice, where every single person would stare at him, point at him, talk about him in front of him, and ostracize him, and where his life and/or death wouldn’t matter one bit. He wouldn’t make it. If he can’t handle one racist Chinese dude on his home turf, then he wouldn’t make it in a racist country where he is all alone battling shit like this every moment of every day. I know one black dude over here who refuses to take public transit, opting instead for taxis and Ubers. Coward. And no, he doesn’t have it worse than me. He has friends from his own country and religion to support him as a buffer. He is a male. I am alone and a woman and I battle the ‘white whore’ stereotype, and thus I am in more danger than him. But I take public transit. I’m harassed by men constantly, and women treat me like shit. It is racist sexism. It hurts me and scares me deeply. I deal by putting on the emotional armour I have crafted through a lifetime of sexual assault and sexual harassment and through years of Chinese racist misogyny. I put on the armour and the rage wells up in me to keep me moving quickly, and that protects me a little. So black dude? Come on over and learn what real racism is about.
Back to the corner. Shit didn’t end there. I avoided that inter-racial confrontation and moved on to the corner to cross the road. Steps away, I was aware of a landmark strip club selling female flesh. Thousands walk by it every day. Hundreds of men visit every day engaging in what they will loudly proclaim is their right. Their right to objectify female bodies. Their capitalist right to pay desperate women to take their clothes off along with their human dignity. Stripping: something women would never think of doing if men did not exist or if men hadn’t created an economic system that benefits men and puts women in positions where they have to shed their humanity in order to eat or ‘have a better life’. A system where there is no equivalent dehumanizing, disempowering requirement for men. Selling women is a legitimate part of human life. I walk by these places and they fulfill their ultimate purpose: to remind me that I am less. To remind me that I can never be free. To remind me that woman is simply a collection of CUNT, TITS, and ASS. No more, no less. To remind me that men can turn whatever evil desire they have into a sanctioned need and right, no matter whom it hurts or how many it hurts. A male itch must be scratched, no matter the cost.
At the street corner, I and several women were forced to stop and wait for the long light to change to green. At that corner sat a black man. Probably homeless. He had a sign.
Will eat pussy for a place to sleep.
I’d not seen a sign like that before. Western homeless men, unlike homeless men around the world, are becoming more creative in their ploys. It’s a competitive market. In the male economic system, poverty is on the rise. Men, being lazier than women, tend to hang out in public begging. Being homeless is much more dangerous for women, and I suspect that women engage in a number of behaviours in order to avoid being conspicuous public targets. I don’t tend to see homeless women with signs offering weird services or making amusing and direct demands for money (e.g., please donate to my weed habit).
So coming upon a man offering to perform a selfless sexual act upon a woman was strange. I think it was supposed to be funny. It wasn’t. Unlike a woman offering a blow job, men offering a sex act is threatening. That is a hard thing for men (and many brainwashed women) to understand. Men are not victims of sex crimes by women, generally speaking. Women are. Men also define sex and direct the course of sexual activity. There isn’t a single man on earth who offers a carpet munch without taking something in exchange from a woman. Doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as a fair exchange, let alone a selfless act when it comes to male behaviour. The offer of a sex act *just for a place to sleep* doesn’t ring true to me and came across as a promise/threat of other things. A woman offering a blow job for a place to sleep is likely going to get raped, beaten or killed afterwards. The man offering pussy-eating will likely take more than he is offering.
A few of the middle-aged women on the corner chuckled nervously. I was disgusted and afraid. And the fact that he was parked so near to the female flesh-selling strip club just served to hammer home who exactly held the power. Even a homeless man holds power over a non-homeless woman.
It was just a moment in time on a small spot of real estate, but there was generalization in this diorama. It spoke of universal truths. Men and racism; men and misogyny. Who holds the power. What dynamics the world at large is willing to pay attention to. I suspect, among the American population witnessing that scene, that all people would have seen were sympathy-deserving black men in need of understanding and help. But in reality, what was going on was male power play. The complicated racism that exists between men that derives from woman hate (controlling access to the pussy of one’s own race). And the truth that all men hold power over all women regardless of race and economic station.
I discuss the realities of oppression and how it works in an earlier article.
It makes me sad, but I really, truly get it when women tell me that they don’t trust or are even afraid of other women. Some people assume that feminists believe that women can do no wrong. No. Not true. There are some horrible, evil female persons out there. You don’t have to fear them in the way that we must all fear men (if we want to stay alive and unraped, that is). But there is a minority of women who are not only damaged like most of us, but who inflict abuse upon us for a variety of reasons. Unlike some feminists, I hold these women accountable for the damage they do. There is no good excuse for aggression and dealing out undeserved harm.
Let me start by saying that the two weeks I’ve had in the U.S. have, until about an hour ago, been fabulous. I have had almost no interaction with men despite not being secluded at a women’s retreat. Refusing all eye contact and not addressing or responding to males has mostly worked this magic. The women I have met have been entertaining, to engaging, to admirable. I’ve made one friend with whom I’ll keep in touch. And I made a last-minute decision to cross the country to visit an old friend and professor for a too-short, but extremely productive and healthy visit. Thanks to that visit and our mini professional ‘girls’ club’, I have some irons in the fire regarding my escape-from-China endeavour. I have the makings of a gameplan.
I’ve been staying in youth hostels, which I generally don’t love as the experience is not what it once was, and I like dormitories and sharing space with strangers less and less as the years go by, but as I said, I’ve have strangely met a lot of interesting women. It really is not always the case.
But now I’m in D.C. where I’m reminded of why I don’t really like the northeastern corridor of Canada (Quebec and Ontario) and the U.S. (D.C. and points north). People are aggressive, sometimes offensive, and somewhat cold. Not in the Chinese way. This is different. I grew up in it, and it has rubbed me the wrong way ever since I left long ago and have occasionally returned to for visits. I much prefer the West Coast. But that is not something I’ll get into now.
Just an hour ago, while engaged in an interesting conversation with a woman from Colombia, a woman from New York about ten years older than me lumbered into our room and proceeded to take up space. Physical space, verbal space, and psychological space. She immediately dominated the conversation, things turned negative, and she pulled a few details from me about my work in China and some of my bad experiences. Normally, women, myself included, will listen to these stories and commiserate or ask more questions. This woman started getting disgusted with me, my choices, my life, and most of all, my inability and unwillingness to drop everything and become once again unemployed and homeless in Canada with no plan in the works or support networks. I literally have no support in Canada anymore. She didn’t know me or my future plans. Didn’t want to know. And then rolled her eyes at me saying “I hear abused women talk about their plans all the time. Then they end up dead.” Then she refused to talk to me anymore, made everything uncomfortable, and shot me dirty looks. I felt upset, and my first impulse was to flee. I was feeling abused BY HER. I made the decision to ask to change rooms. They were extremely helpful in getting me swiftly out of that room.
Once away from my abuser, I found myself extremely emotional and tried to unpack my feelings. Why was I reacting so strongly? Was it weakness that forced me to flee the room? I felt a little afraid of her, to be honest, and I knew I’d have had two sleepless nights if I’d stayed where I was. And I had paid a lot of money. Hostels have been tainted by capitalism, just like everything else good in the world, and they are no longer truly the budget accommodation they once were. Sleep and safety were paramount, so to get out of an uncomfortable, at best, violent, at worst, situation was not unreasonable.
Well, it was simple to explain my emotionality following having that woman forced upon me. I was badly psychologically abused by my mother and grandmother for 20 years. As a result of that abuse and likely because of my personality and vibe, I have also always been a magnet for domineering, bullying women. I always end up escaping once they target me. So, I have a healthy and perfectly justifiable and reasonable fear of older, domineering, energy-sucking, narcissistic women. They find me, and I am exceptionally vulnerable and attractive to them thanks to the damage done by the childhood abuse and my Mommy Dearest. Abusers are exceptionally good at finding the right kind of prey. I don’t yet have the tools necessary to deal with these kinds of women. I only have a flight response. Luckily, it still works.
The other issue here was that abusive though this woman was, she spoke a truth about me that I hadn’t allowed myself to accept because it is painful. She literally called me an ‘abused woman’. I had never thought of myself that way before, and it hurt and scared me. Why? It’s complicated. I had a similar experience when a friend years ago – surprisingly a bleeding heart leftie – told me that I was experiencing racism when I lived in Taiwan. It hadn’t occurred to me. White women are told over and over how privileged and racist THEY are, and that they deserve everything that happens to them. We twist all the horrible things that happen to us into some kind of deserved punishment rather than a crime. Absolutely everyone on the planet is worse off than a white woman. I’ve heard white rape victims negate their experiences – and I too have been one of those in-denial white rape victims – shrugging the horrors they’ve experienced off because “other people have it worse”. (This is also called “white female traveller syndrome” – where white women travelling alone who end up raped or assaulted during their journey refuse to acknowledge it because they think they are complaining/overreacting, or think they deserve what happened because they are ‘privileged’.)
So when this NY abuser likened me to an abused woman, I realized it was true even though I’m abused by multiple people rather than a single domestic abuser. The Chinese have treated me like absolute shit. They’ve locked me in my housing at night. They’ve refused to pay me sometimes. They’ve changed my contract without my agreement or knowledge. They’ve signed my name to legal documents without my permission. They’ve hit me, sexually assaulted me, called me horrible things – males AND FEMALES. And my will to escape and better my life has waned as I have become accustomed to the poor treatment. I’m scared to be unemployed at my age as a woman. It is hard, as an outsider, to understand why women stay in abusive situations. I have never accepted abuse from a man – I leave immediately. But the racism and sexism in employment and in foreign cultures is something I’ve not allowed or trained myself to reject or flee.
So, it’s not domestic abuse, but I am an abused woman. And acknowledging that and having someone else, a stranger, acknowledge that and label me and then abuse me for it, crushed me a little. And I fled. That abuser was easier to flee.
Now, this woman had the gall to call herself a feminist before launching her attack on me. She wasn’t. She was a misogynist. Feminists don’t abuse other women. They listen. Sometimes they help when appropriate, but mostly, they listen and empathize. Feminists should be critical of how women support Patriarchy. And we can lay responsibility on women when they hurt other women. Of course. But this nasty asshole didn’t know anything about me or my life or what steps I have already taken to get myself out of a complicated situation. My kind of situation is not acknowledged as a problem. So I am alone and must solve things by myself. She called me an abused woman, but unlike for domestic abuse victims, there is no police system that will punish China for hurting me. There is no shelter/accommodation for abused female ex-pat workers where I can escape to if I give up my job and home and find myself on the streets.
Long story short, I may not yet have been able to escape my complicated abuse situation in China, but I sure as hell made sure to escape that abusive woman moments after she showed her true face to me. I promised myself when I swore off men that never again would I sleep with the enemy, but unfortunately, sometimes the enemy doesn’t wear a penis.
This may end up being a little long and winding, but I’ll get to my point eventually.
The Chinese see it as a point of pride that they are ready, willing and able to accept any amount of abuse heaped on them, especially if they are doing it in the name of nationalism or some other male-defined in-group/out-group mechanism. I remember a few years ago, I was just about to sit down with an 18-year-old male I was tutoring, when he responded to some pleasantry I’d made with one of the most bizarre non-sequiturs I’ve encountered. With clear glee, superiority, and enormous nationalist and racial pride, said male told me that the Chinese army was superior to any Western army in history. As an example, he told me about the zeal of the army following Communist dictator and personality cult leader, Mao Ze Dong. They went without shoes and food (and in some parts of the country – although no Chinese will tell you this – were so starved they had to resort to cannibalism) to support the communist fight. In contrast, he cited the Italians (not sure which war he was referring to – WWII?), who refused to fight until they received food from their generals. Clearly, the Chinese were and are superior, according to this arrogant, ignorant boy, because they made the cause greater than their human rights. I had no real response to what he said. He was fucking loonie-toons. A product of Chinese and male brainwashing. The Chinese part being the acceptance of any and all human rights abuse all for the sake of a cause, no matter how fucked up that cause might be. The male part was, of course, the military bullshit. Only men truly fetishize devoting one’s life to killing and raping in the name of honour.
Suppressing my hatred for race supremacists, and focusing on the money I was earning, I moved on with the point of our meeting, which was to prepare this douchebag for a formal English examination that would allow him to take his filthy mind and psychotic ideals and ethics to the West to take advantage of our education and economic systems. His family was rich, his father the head of a university. I didn’t ask him how good ole Chairman Mao would have seen his family’s wealth or his father’s membership in academia. Mao didn’t like the educated or the wealthy (unless it was him or his cronies!) Let’s just say ‘re-education’ in the countryside and wealth repossessed by the Communist party would have been on order for this silly boy and his kin.
Mao is gone, but the idea of not challenging abuses and questionable ethics from on high is deeply ingrained in the Chinese mindset. Don’t get me wrong, if a Chinese doesn’t accept you as superior in some way, they won’t accept abuse or even non-abusive requests for action from you. This is why many of my students (especially the males) refuse to do work in my class or even attend, or why many people refuse to answer my questions in Chinese out in public. I am racially inferior. And I am a woman. They don’t have to give me the slightest respect, and they know what’s what. I have no power in China – economic, political, legal, or of the penis-derived variety (see my Oppressor Triangle to understand how this works). But it is fascinating how little challenge there ever is to the system or even to a Chinese boss. This hierarchy is clear, established and unquestioned. And abuse and illogical and unethical systems proliferate and thrive here. Little ever changes unless it comes from on high.
And so we get to the education system, and something the Chinese absolutely hate. For some reason (I think it is a ‘study and conquer your enemy’ situation), the government decided that English should be part of the curriculum here. Not English as a language or a skill, but as busy work. As something to test. Most students spend at least 10 years studying English. Not English as a useful communication tool, but the study of how to pass multiple choice grammar tests. Indeed, most students finish 10 years of English with no speaking ability and very poor writing ability. Even university English majors can often barely produce a grammatically correct sentence. If they study at all, they spend most of their time memorizing vocabulary and cramming for obscure grammar tests. But no practical usage is encouraged by teachers or carried out by students.
Unfortunately, part of this weird language study protocol involves importing foreigners to teach ‘oral communication’. It is the most bizarre job on the planet and if you take your job seriously, it is disappointing and mind-fucking because you are absolutely set up to fail due to the way education works here. Schools can gain more money and prestige if they hire foreign people, but there is no quest for quality or establishing useful curricula. A lot of (male) wingnuts are hired – those looking to fuck local women (especially their students), drink their faces off, and travel. But a minority of us are actually quite educated, experienced, and give a shit about our work and reputations. Most qualified teachers can’t handle it here because the system isn’t set up for real learning. Like everything in China, it’s all about appearances. Surface. No substance.
Because the system is so poorly set up and so few shits are given by the Chinese about quality of learning, foreign staff are thrown into Kafka nightmare-like work situations with no information, no support, and a hell of a lot of hate and racism surrounding them. Some schools may provide a ‘foreign teacher liaison’ – a Chinese employee at the school whose duty it is to control the foreigners, control the information the foreigners have access to, and deal with their inevitable complaints when they are ostracized or have to deal with inefficiency and illogic. It is never a singular or special position. Usually, it is a teacher in the English department and the lowest male or female on the totem pole who is forced to take on this extra role for no extra pay. It is often seen as a form of punishment, so you can imagine the resentment and poor working environment created by the administration. The local teacher has to take on an extra workload and deal with people who are not truly welcome or supported and who immediately find themselves in a bad environment. And the foreign staff is forced to deal solely with a person who resents them, but who is required to deal with them. Typically, the rest of the local staff in the department, despite being teachers of English and who you would think would want to know more about the culture and language they are teaching and usually have never been exposed to themselves, will never, ever speak to or be friendly to the foreign staff. It is a truly bizarre work environment where words like ‘foreign friend’ get batted around, but are not followed up by cooperative or welcoming ‘friendly’ behaviour. The administration creates an environment where only resentment and racism towards foreign people builds up and festers.
I recently took on a part-time job at a private college that is located in the middle of a construction zone, far from the main city and not really close to anything interesting. This means that they have a nearly impossible time finding foreigners willing to sign contracts with them. I mean, seriously, who the hell wants to live in racist isolation with nothing to do when they could work in a large (too-crowded) vibrant city that is not overly far away? Personally, I’m happy to be there as a part-time worker. The pay is the best I’ve ever made anywhere in China or Taiwan. But I will say, I’d never sign a contract with them and live there full-time. It really is in the middle of nowhere and it takes a few hours just to get into the city from there. There is barely a market available for fresh produce, and otherwise, you are stuck eating at the filthy school canteen or at the few dubious restaurants adjacent to the school.
But they found a few suckers to sign on, and ended up getting screwed recently by an American couple – although it was the male of the couple who ran the whole scam and from what I heard, created constant problems from day one. The couple was new to China and signed a contract with the school. Half-way through the contract, they demanded more money (despite having successfully negotiated a higher salary to begin with when they signed on). Reasonably, the school refused a second pay raise after only four months, so the Americans did a runner in the middle of the night with no notice. They even stole the laptop computer they were borrowing from the school, and left the place mid-semester without two full-time teachers. Then the other American they had working for them decided to leave early using some excuse with no one to cover his classes. And then a third American man who agreed to fill in for the remainder of the semester showed up for one day and then quit. WTF, American men??? Along with me, they hired a part-time, black Muslim man from Africa (not a native English speaker), and now he is busy screwing them, cancelling classes right, left and centre during the past month because he has been starving himself in the name of Allah. Even though the Chinese won’t tolerate Christian stuff, like the rest of the world, they are very rationally and reasonably afraid of Muslims, so they have let this guy run roughshod over them. So apparently, I am the only stable and reliable foreign teacher they have. No needy children bullshit. No psycho spouse bullshit. No religious bullshit. And I’ve been in China long enough to know and expect all the abuse one inevitably encounters working for the Chinese, so I don’t throw hissy fits every two minutes when I am treated like shit. Seriously, I’ve worked in worse places. This place is good compared to many schools.
So we get to my foreign teacher liaison. She uses all the right words: “foreign friends” being chief among them. And she is very careful to cloak her many, many complaints about foreigners in neutral language. But she hates us and she hates working with us. She has told me that she has asked the boss many times to release her from this position. The problem is that she is the only teacher without a Masters degree, so she is stuck. She can be fired easily if she complains. There is an over-abundance of English teachers with Masters degrees, and seriously, the Chinese don’t even need to speak English to teach it, so she is completely replaceable. She is in the middle of a Masters, but can’t seem to get it done. It has been a number of years now, with no end in sight. The racism doesn’t seem to be enough motivation to get it done. Poor thing…
Luckily, she has come up with a solution to deal with her racism and laziness. She has decided that she is going to have a second baby. If she can get herself knocked up, then she will be able to argue that she cannot take on the extra burden of dealing with the hateful, goddamn foreigners. She’ll never have to talk to us again, but she can still make money off our language! And!?! She won’t have to finish her Masters degree!!! Being a Chinese mother is a good deal – if you like that kind of biological slavery, that is. Every Chinese woman has one to two grandparents living with her who do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare. The father/husband does nothing, of course. Like in all countries of the world. But the Chinese wife who works outside the home seldom has to do much beyond playing with the kid and some light household duties. If the old folks get sick, that is another story. But as Chinese women tend to breed young, the grandparents tend not to be that old or sick when they move in and take on household duties, thereby lightening the load. Unfortunately, it is usually the mother-in-law that moves in (rather than the woman’s own mother), and more often than not, she tends to be a nagging and nasty abusive piece of work, thanks to Patriarchy and how it fosters hatred between women.
So, after this woman told me about her awesome racist and lazy motivations for having another baby that the world can’t support, she remembered to quote the standard mantra, like a good brainwashed woman: “Oh, and of course, I love children.” Yeah. Sure you do…
I’m betting money that she’ll be knocked up by the time I return to teach in the new semester and she’ll never speak to me again because it won’t be part of her job. ‘Foreign friend’ my ass…
I truly dislike this culture. Years of racism and misogyny and the isolation I’ve had to endure in this country has changed me for the worse. After so many years here, I am not sure if I could reverse the damage to my psyche, but at this point, I’m used to it, I live with it, and I don’t lie anymore about the fact that I’m only here for employment. I’m not interested in travelling in China and I know enough about the culture to know there isn’t much I like about it. I can separate individuals from the culture at large, and I do have a few friends here who are good people, but generally speaking, the culture fosters things I don’t value in humans. It’s cold and brutal, and people have no shame or hesitation about passing it on. They take abuse if it comes from those deemed superior, and they have no qualms about dishing out abuse or disregarding humanity or human rights if they feel they are superior. I don’t function this way – it goes against my nature and my logic – but I have no choice about being included in the mess if I want to stay employed. I certainly know exactly where I sit in the Chinese hierarchy…
Horrifying or Whorifying? It’s all the same when it comes to teaching the Chinese as a female. Add being white on top of that, and you’ve got the deck stacked against you.
I’ve been teaching on and off for the last 21 years, alternating between gigs in research universities and government policy shops (as well as farming, beekeeping, baking, and hotel housekeeping). Teaching is something I do somewhat well, although it exhausts me more than any job in manual labour ever has. At least with farming, you get strong and healthy along with your fatigue. And you work with plants! Teaching makes you tired, flabby, and fat. And you constantly wonder whether laziness and stupidity have lower limits…
In China, there is a special nuther layer as a woman and as a non-Chinese. There is a special skill that I don’t have that apparently cancels out any skill or talent I might have as a teacher. And it is something that doesn’t apply to men. Of course.
I refuse to wear ‘lady-face’ or as I have come more and more frequently to call it – ‘whore-face’ – because that is, very basically, what women’s fashion signifies: whore status. I refuse to wear the trappings of femininity, all those things that mark me as a usable fuck-object there to be consumed by men (and as a white woman in China, to be consumed by Chinese men AND women). I don’t wear pretty dresses, or any dresses, for that matter. I don’t wear heels. I don’t wear make-up. I don’t wear pretty colours. I don’t wear cutesy shit. Everything is functional, isn’t fussy, and serves to make me feel less exposed or less easily rapeable. If I trip and fall, nobody gets a look at my crotch. No one can use a selfie stick and attached cell phone to take photos up my skirt. No one gets a special view through armholes or necklines as to what lies beneath my clothes. White women are seen as whores that love to be abused. People believe that and treat you accordingly. You can’t hurt the willing, right?
So basically, you know, I wear clothes that (mostly) could be found on any average male out there. I look respectable. My clothes are clean and simple. I dress more formally than many of my students, which makes sense given our roles. But apparently, that doesn’t fly here. My only ‘girly’ thing is that I have really long hair. But that is only because in the past I have donated my hair every few years to cancer wig charities. But I have been rethinking this lately, and will be cutting my hair blessedly short this summer. I don’t want to contribute to the sexist, racist notion that white women can’t be bald. Black women can be bald and accepted, even without cancer, so I think white women shouldn’t have to suffer from public derision for not having hair on their heads. So that’s enough with the long-hair-for-donation bullshit. But I will pay for it socially here in reserved, misogynist China where you seldom see a non-old woman with short hair. (Cross into more progressive Hong Kong, and it is a different story.) In combination with my ‘man clothes’, short hair will make things considerably more ‘interesting’. I wish I could lose my considerable and distinctly non-Chinese tittage, the bane of my existence in this country, and have people mistake me for male at first. I’d be harassed A LOT less. And be given a little more respect, perhaps.
But back to lady-face. It is, as a white woman in a very racist, misogynist country, bad enough being in public wearing the no-nonsense shit that I do. I get shit for not being feminine enough, but being feminine would be a bad thing, too. It is difficult for me to imagine how much worse it would be if I exposed cleavage or bared my lightly hairy, unshaved, white legs. (Most Chinese don’t shave, but even many of the men don’t have much leg hair.) I think I would be sexually assaulted and harassed more than I am already. And I would be stared at even more than I am now. I’d be on the receiving end of more sexual behaviour from men and more derision/disgust from men AND women. And I would personally feel more uncomfortable and vulnerable. And that last bit is the difference between tolerating going out in public with PTSD under careful control, versus staying at home unless absolutely unavoidable.
Why do I bring this up? Well, I made an interesting discovery in my Business English class the other day. All female, except for a few males. I had planned to talk about giving ideas and making suggestions in the workplace, based on a chapter in their textbooks. But I opened it up by talking about personal suggestions, and I made the mistake of asking each student to give me a suggestion. I hadn’t anticipated all the misogyny and such a clear indication of where these silly assholes’ priorities were. Instead of interesting or creative ideas, several of the suggestions were:
- I needed to change my clothing style
- I needed to wear dresses
- I needed to wear bright colours
- I needed to wear things that would make me ‘look beautiful’
- More suggestions about wearing ‘girl clothes’
- I should wear different shoes
At one point, when I started to get annoyed by the implications that all anyone cared about was what I looked like and that my job performance clearly rested on this factor alone, I remarked that once boys started wearing dresses, I would too. You know, even if I wanted to dress like a cocksucker, I think about the following. My classroom is not air-conditioned. It went up to 37°C (99°F) last week. I usually spend 7 hours in that classroom, mostly on my feet, animated and interacting with students. I’m drenched in sweat within the first fifteen minutes. It is cooler (or less stifling, perhaps) when I step out of my classroom. I do tend to over-dress, but that is simply because I am uncomfortable with all the ogling I get in China. I also sweat like a pig. I don’t do well in the tropics. But I’m trying to imagine make-up running in rivulets down my face. I’m trying to imagine a typical lacy, polyester Chinese dress (think 1980’s in the West) sticking to my tits and legs, scratching and unbreathable, giving me a rash or hives. I’m trying to imagine my feet sweating and slipping inside high-heeled shoes. And then I imagine myself passing out in a disgusting mess on the floor with my skirt around my waist, my ankle broken, and all the kids making videos and posting it on the Chinese internet. (I would title it “Horrified or Whorified? White Teacher Fail!”)
Do men get any of this shit? No. Of course not. No one comments on what the black Muslim male teacher at my school wears. No one questions what any of the men wear or don’t wear. Anywhere in the world. No one measures a man’s teaching performance or talent by his shoes, fashion sense, or his looks. No one tells men about their bad B.O or the alcohol leaking from their pores when they sweat and breathe on students. Men show up. In whatever condition they wish. They get paid. They get respect. And they go home where their personal whores cook their food, clean their stinky clothes, and suck their dicks or spread their legs (or ass cheeks in the West!). A good life, and one men feel entitled to, but don’t deserve.
It’s bad enough dealing with my male students, but the Chinese lady-cocksuckers are a piece of work too, and they are racist and misogynist in their own special ways that feel like more of a betrayal than you get with men. You expect abuse from men. For me, I’m waiting for bullshit from men before they even open their mouths. But even when you know women will betray you because of your non-conformity, it hurts a lot when they do it. The women are part of the problem, even if they didn’t start it. I don’t let them off the hook as participants in women’s oppression. In their own oppression. In my oppression. There is never an excuse for keeping your brain turned off and reaping the meager benefits at other women’s expense.
Until you actually understand racism and the fact that it is a male invention that derives from and depends on misogyny, you are going to be confused about human interaction, especially when you move around geographically, and possibly about how to react to assaults upon your female body. You will be confused about who constitutes a racist and what constitutes a racist act. You’ll be confused about ‘racially motivated’ versus ‘racist’, and you’ll definitely be confused about whether a behaviour has nothing to do with race and everything to do with misogyny, economics, or just plain old meanness directed at the closest target available.
Racism, or the domination of one race over another, is not necessarily dependent on having a majority population. Numbers help, but they are not necessary. Racism is also much less simple to discern than misogyny. The world wants to dichotomize it (aka ‘only white people are racist’), but it is both incorrect and too easy. Woman-hate IS a simple dichotomy; it really is easy to figure out. Men hate women. And these men include all the ones we love to coddle: gay men, trannies (men in dresses), men with no arms and no legs, homeless men, Jewish and Muslim men, and non-white men. Sexist behaviours and crimes are easy to pinpoint because men hold all the power, while women don’t. Men do all sorts of shit to women (and get away with it) because they hold all the power. Even with other mitigating factors, such as economics, males always hold power. The least powerful man can still rape (and get away with raping) the most powerful woman and holding that sexual threat over her is a source of the world’s greatest, most accepted, and longest standing oppression.
Racism is not so easy. First, it is based on misogyny. Without woman-hate, racism wouldn’t be a thing. It wouldn’t exist. It is a male creation, the sole purpose of which is to preserve bloodlines. And bloodlines are ONLY preserved by controlling women and who sticks their dicks into their fuckholes. Just listen to any racial or ethnic supremacist group (white, black, Chinese, Jewish, etc), regardless of race or ethnicity or geography, and sooner rather than later, you’ll hear them talk about not allowing inter-marriage or inter-dating and about breeding and sterilization. That is control of women, their cunts and their uteri. Control of women is at the root of racism. But then again, if you understand radical feminism, and what ‘radical’ actually means, this is obvious to you and you won’t find yourself derailed by intersectionality issues.
Second, racism isn’t a dichotomy despite so many people wishing and hoping it were. There are several races on the planet (and even more confusing, several more ethnicities that are sometimes treated and function like races), and depending on where you are, different races have different power. The race that rules (and thus can be ‘racist’) has three sources of power, which I make clear in my Oppressor Triangle below. Further, in a dynamic between two people or groups of people, we can consider a fourth source of power – the one at the centre of everything. The penis. When a penis is present, it predominates. Penis is first, and then the other three sources of power follow. I call this the Oppressor Triangle, with a dick at the centre.
Let’s go through the Oppressor Triangle briefly. You can apply this triangle to any oppression you wish. Take misogyny. Woman-hate. This one is easy because with cock at the centre, you don’t even need to go further in the analysis.
Cock at the centre. First, cock is the overriding factor. If cock is present, it will cancel out any power a non-cock (i.e., a woman) has. Cock wins over vagina. Always. Even if an individual woman has legal, political AND economic power over a man. Dude can still rape or threaten rape. That is the ultimate oppression. Further, a man with a cock will be in a position of power over a trannie dude with no cock. And a trannie who cuts off his cock and sports a dress, pumps and lipstick, will hold power over women by nature of being born and raised with an attached cock. Women have negligible power over one another. However, a woman can gain power over another woman through ‘cock proxy’. If she is a cocksucker – a practising heterosexual woman or a woman with a son – she will have power over an asexual woman or a lesbian or a childless, single woman. Basically, the less cock you have in your life, the less power you have in relation to other women. It is exactly why matriarchy wouldn’t/doesn’t function on a domination-submission or slavery paradigm.
Economic Power. Economics can be determined by sheer wealth, but also by social relationships and status. People with more money obviously have more power than people with less money. But there is another aspect to this that is not immediately apparent. People with families have more economic power than people with no families. This might seem confusing at first because most people have some sort of family they interact with, even if they don’t like them. People who have no family, which includes parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, spouses and children, have much less economic power than those with these traditional relationships. As a single, childless person, if you get sick or injured and cannot work, you lose your sole income and form of security. You have no one to take care of you, cook for you, bring in money for you, and do basic things people with families take for granted. Further, you are at high risk of death or serious life-changing implications if the illness or injury is long-term. It is hard to imagine, even if you are not 100% cool with your family, but in dire circumstances, you know they will help you out (even if there are strings attached). Those of us without that economic safety net live in a shit-scary world where the threat of illness or injury is constant and terrifying. And once you get a taste of helplessness, and how easily and quickly you can be rendered helpless, everything you do can be very scary. There is a reason single, childless elderly women (most of whom are white, by the way) are one of the poorest segments of the population in the Western world.
Political Power. This can very obviously refer to the power that a politician or someone enmeshed in the political world (e.g., lobbyists, union members, bureaucrats, etc) might have. But it can also refer to the power that your not-specifically-political group membership has politically. For example, all over the world, governments and citizens are terrified of Muslim violence. Even in dictatorial China where I live and work, the government is terrified of Muslim terrorism. Muslims are the only group in China who don’t have to abide by the government’s strict rules regarding population control, income and freedom of speech. They can say and do and go where they want. In the last year or two, there have been Muslim acts of terrorism in China (including where I live), and this relatively small group had the political power to change security measures in every single transportation station (metro, train, bus stations and airports) in the affected cities and beyond. We’ve also seen the political power of male refugees in Europe recently. ‘Oppressed’ rapists attacking local women were given asylum and their crimes were ignored and wiped from the internet. And our all-time favourite oppressed people, Jewish folks, hold enormous political power (and economic power, for that matter) all over the world. Despite being a tiny, tiny minority of the population, they have massive political clout with the American government. In comparison, women, the largest oppressed group in the world, have no political power whatsoever unless they put forth an agenda that supports men, thereby not acting on behalf of women at all.
Legal Power. Political and legal power are often confused. They can be present at the same time, and can even depend on one another. All forms of power can be interdependent, but it is not a given. Legal power can refer to that which a lawyer or legal professional has because of knowledge and training. But it can also refer to the power that comes from having one’s rights protected by law. In this way, citizens will have legal power over undocumented workers (the latter may or may not have political power over the former, however). A citizen also has legal power over a legal foreign worker. There is nothing like the threat of having one’s visa rescinded to keep someone under legal control. A diplomat has the legal power to commit whatever crimes he wishes without repercussions in his host country. Men have legal rights that women don’t have – in all countries. Men have massive legal power in cases of the sex crimes they commit, as the burden of proof is on the victim (woman) to prove that she has been violated, and often this is dependent on refuting irrelevant details about her character and behaviour. Men also have the legal power to define crimes that they commit and the rights that they have. Trannies (men who think they are women) are eroding the legal rights of women, and are so legally (as well as politically and economically) powerful that they are erasing women altogether.
So let’s get back to racism.
Racism can also be explained using the Oppressor Triangle with cock at the centre. The race that dominates in a geographical area will conduct business based on female oppression and have economic, political and legal power over other races. The dominant race isn’t automatically white. In many places, white people don’t even factor into daily life. The dominant race is based on economic, political and legal power and is controlled by men only. Racist behaviour will be committed by those with penises or racially motivated behaviour will be enacted by those who act on behalf of penises. So saying that only white people are racist is incorrect no matter how good it feels to arm oneself with that illogic. I’ll use an example based on my own years of experience – China. In China, the Han Chinese (about 20% of the world population; 90% of the population in China) are the dominant ethnicity (some feel they function as a race, however) and hold power over all other races and ethnicities within the Asiatic race living or visiting China. There are many poor Chinese, but there are many, many rich Chinese. China is actually a very rich country, with an unequal distribution of capital (like all other countries). They have economic power (and are actually fast overtaking Caucasians in the United States and Canada as the dominant race, economically, according to data). Within China, they are politically powerful – they dominate the government and have serious political clout around the world. And they have legal power – they dictate the laws that run the country and often break international law when negotiating with other countries. When dealing with whites, blacks, Arabs and other foreign and non-Chinese people in China, the Han Chinese dominate. The former hold no power over the Chinese economically, politically or legally. Even with some power (e.g., economic power), no non-Chinese will dominate a Chinese, unless it is a non-Chinese man over a Chinese woman. In a girl-on-girl scenario, a Chinese woman will dominate a non-Chinese woman with racially motivated behaviour, rather than outright racism, if backing a male agenda. Women can assist men in a racist agenda, but I am hesitant to hold women responsible for racism as racism is borne of misogyny. Like sexism, women can buy in and support cock domination and mandatory heterosexuality, but men are ultimately responsible. Learning to stop calling women ‘racist’ is similar to learning to stop calling women bitches and cunts. It is irresistible to hold women responsible for what men have created and perpetuate.
So in short,
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a male of a non-dominant race
- I care little about this as men fight each other over the right to rape all women. when you back the rights of an oppressed man, you will only end up exchanging one master for another.
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a female of a non-dominant race
- This is what I call ‘racist misogyny’ and is standard all over the world. It explains the ‘white whore’ phenomenon – the common occurrence white women experience when living and traveling in other countries and which no one wants to acknowledge.
- A male of a non-dominant race has racial power over a female of the dominant race.
- This phenomenon explains why white women almost NEVER report assaults and rapes by men of colour in their home countries. It also explains ‘sex tourism’ (aka ‘rape holidays‘), and rapes of local women (prostitutes and non-prostitutes) committed by visiting military personnel in foreign countries (i.e., white, black and hispanic American soldiers stationed in South Korea).
- Between women, there is no racism. There can be racially-motivated behaviour if the target behaviour is prompted by a heterosexual, male-dominated, anti-woman agenda. Otherwise, power is based on other sources (economics, politics, law, etc).
Given that women don’t create or perpetuate racism unless they are clearly working a male agenda of domination over females / woman-hate, it is not the responsibility of women to end racism, or subordinate themselves to members of other races. Racism comes from men and is based on rape and the control of women, their uteri and their spawn. When I see feminist conferences put racism on the agenda, I know I’m not dealing with radical feminists, even if they call themselves such. Women aren’t responsible for racism or cleaning it up. It is a male thing and men need to stop it. Once men let go of control of our cunts and uteri, racism will cease to exist. And organizing ‘feminist’ conferences and workshops in order to shame white women (only white women are shamed for what men of all races do to women of all races) is a fucking waste of female energy. Women aren’t the enemy, even if they often feel like it when they take on male agendas.
Occasionally, I’ll talk about communism with my students. It doesn’t happen often. For one, I think a lot of them aren’t that interested. It ain’t the 1950’s or 1960’s anymore, and none of my students was alive through the scary part of it. As well, it is not necessarily all that safe to talk about it in public, especially if we are critiquing it. There are unspoken rules about what you can criticize and how far you can go. I remember going out for lunch with a university professor in Mao’s home province (Hunan) where I worked about 6 years ago, and he refused to talk about communism at all, and got very, very nervous and quiet. We changed the subject.
Despite what you see in the news about China’s modernizing, things are still, under the surface, very controlled here. Every high school, college and university has a communist student group on campus, and even my PhD students must take a required course in Marxism during their program, even though they have been taking the exact same course almost every year of their student lives. (How often is too often…?) Many students join the communist student group despite having no passion whatsoever for or connection to the ideals, because it is well known that you’ll create a network, gain ‘face’ and have better career prospects if you do so. And interestingly, over the years, I always have at least a few gung-ho communist students who’ll try to talk about that great man, Mao, in class every chance they get – and they remind me strangely of fundamentalist Christians, Jews or Muslims I’ve encountered who can’t shut the fuck up about their beliefs. Fanatics are fanatics no matter what the flavour of kool-aid. It has been suggested more than once by Chinese I know that there may or may not be spies in my classes – a student placed by the communist groups to ‘keep tabs on things’. Who the hell knows…?
But despite the persistence of communism here in China, capitalism has gained momentum, unfortunately. It is a weird world where they exist side by side. I brought this up to one of my masters students recently, and he said with a laugh, “Well, yeah, we need capitalism to pay for the communism.” I thought that was pretty funny. And true.***
Now, personally, I’m not a big fan. But neither am I a capitalist. I don’t think I can subscribe to any political or economic system that men come up with, to be honest. Whatever the ideals, men will ruin it. Men function on domination and hierarchy and hatred of women. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that communism didn’t work. Men can posit ‘equality’ all they want – but they can’t do without their power struggles and rapey nature. Equality is good, men will tell you, as long as they get what they themselves want. Yeah, remember that British fuck I wrote about earlier (here and here)? He loves China and loves communism. We waxes poetic about how much he loves dictatorship and censorship, and how necessary they are – with a straight face, I might add. But if you poke a little, you’ll get what you’re looking for. As long as HE lives outside the restrictions. How’s that saying go? Dictatorship is great, as long as you’re the dictator… That’s how it rolls with men. They’d never make communism work, and to be honest, I find capitalism a much more honest expression of the male ego. A house of cards built out of delusions and promises of freedom, equal opportunity, and abundance. Yeah, that hasn’t worked for most people, and still they cling…
Anyhow, back to the East. There is an historical site not far from where I work that I’ve visited a few times. It’s a place I’d take any visitor as there is a lot of cool stuff to see and watch: architecture, traditional performances, traditional food, etc. Outside an old (Mao-communist era) film house, there is a write up on the wall about posters. [See the shots I snapped below.] China was really into politically-motivated posters during this time. There were the occasional advertisments of goods and services, despite being much less on offer than now. Quite a bit of the write-up talked about women and the perception of women during this era. And I will say one positive thing about old Communist China. Women weren’t anywhere near as exploited as they are in capitalist times or in places running on capitalism. As you can read in the attached photos below, when women appeared in posters and advertisements, they weren’t sold as sex. They were humans with a new vital role to play in society. They were workers, students, soldiers. Robust, hard-working and energetic. Not whorish objects – things – to be consumed by men. They were clothed like rest of the humans (men) in the posters. Dressed for respect. [I actually like communist fashion, I have to admit. Keyword: comfortable.] They didn’t look helpless. They were role models to be looked up to by men and women alike. I have no doubt that women were still abused by men off-stage. You can’t have a world with men in it where women aren’t abused. Not possible. Men would never go for that in a million years. Dicks must stay hard, right!?! But at least, under Mao, the rape and destruction of women weren’t glorified in public as entertainment and marketing tools, as they are in the putrid West, and sadly, as they are fast becoming in modern China (with the whorification of white women leading the way here – thanks capitalism!!!)
So why the fuck can’t we keep this good part of communism – the publicly accepted, respected, human side of women – and throw out the fanaticism, propaganda, demand to conform, and punishment for intellectualism? Can we not develop a freedom-based system where women are independent, powerful, respected, and separate from male definitions of sexuality? No. Not in my opinion. As long as males are alive, dictatorship of one sort (capitalism, liberalism, etc) or another (communism) will always exist, with women under the male boot.
*** You might be reading and thinking, ‘Those crazy communists.” or “Those crazy Chinese.” But you know, the West is just as fucked up, but in a different way, and in some ways, I prefer the weirdness of capito-communist China. The West is experiencing its own psychotic break from reality with the whole trannie movement. Women are being silenced, censored, no-platformed, erased as biological beings, and literally abused, and even raped and killed, by a tiny, powerful group of dangerous, delusional men who have scared politicians, the media, and the government shitless. How is this any more frightening than the censoring of the Chinese government? At least, the Chinese censor men and women alike. The West hates women with a regressive passion not seen since… when? Decades ago? A century ago? I’m too embarrassed to bring up trans bullshit and identity politics with my Chinese students. They’d laugh their asses off. Seriously.
About a year-and-a-half ago, I was in Los Angeles, and one night, I found myself standing in line for some comedy event with a male friend who is no longer really a friend. He was becoming increasingly terrified of my increasingly frequent feminist commentary. I mean, shit, L.A. is the rape culture factory of the United States (and thus, the world). And friendo works in The Biz (Hollywood/Entertainment, for those who don’t know). He profits directly from rape culture as well as profits, as a man, off of actual rape, the threat of rape, and the dehumanizing effects of rape culture. Of course, he was terrified. I was pointing out that his little world as well as the world at large aren’t quite as fun and innocent as men would like (to force) us to think. And through my growing outspokenness, I learned that despite having known each other for almost 20 years, talking about feminism was not a welcome new addition to our relationship. Ah, the truth unveils itself as it always does, and it hurts to find out how much even long-time male friends only conditionally like you…
So, we’re standing there, and friendo points out a black dude who is seemingly working the event and who is wearing a t-shirt with Marie Shear’s famous and frequently misattributed quote: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” on it. Freindo wanted a head pat for noticing that and pointing it out, and likely, black dude wanted a blow job for the seriously radical act of wearing that t-shirt. “I’m a feminist, like seriously!” Indeed, young white girls were buzzing around the latter like bees to a flower. Sigh. Black dudes have waaaaaaaay more privilege than even the precious white girls that the world hates passionately and thinks exist outside oppression. Total bullshit – black dudes are oppressors too, oh yes they are. Never forget that all men have privilege over all women. Penis trumps vagina, always, always, always. Anyhow, the only real feminist act happening in this whole scenario was my defiant refusal to hand out cookies to the whole lot of them from friendo to male feminist to silly, obsequious, little, librul-neo-fem slave-girls. You see, noting anomalies in male behaviour, pointing out ‘activism’, wearing clothes, and rewarding men for not raping, are in no way, shape, or form feminist acts.
But, but, but we must show our gratitude! We must reward men for not raping us or noticing we have brains in addition to fuckholes, tits and asses!
No. No, we don’t need to do that at all. First, there is no such thing as a male feminist (see all my posts in the Wolves in Women’s Clothing series for further discussion of this). Men never do anything without a selfish reason or without expectation of reward. And, sure as shit, if a man sees a commentary like the one I’m providing – the refusal to reward him for the barest of a good deed or shred of humanity – he will pull his support and issue some choice misogynist slurs that completely betray his ulterior motivation (Him: “Why do I even bother trying to help cunts like you?!?” Me: “Um, you bother so that you’ll get your dick sucked. I refused to do that, so you call me a cunt. Interesting take on human rights activism…”)
If men want to activate for women, it should be among men, and it shouldn’t be attached to some expectation of attention or reward. That is called being human, not a superhero. Women don’t need to thank men for being human. We have been socialized to give men all our attention and adoration and gratitude for not unleashing their privilege-driven violence upon our bodies and minds. And it needs to stop. No real progress can be made otherwise.
If you (men) are truly feminist allies, you’ll leave women alone and work your anti-misogyny magic among the men who hate and hurt us daily. You’ll keep your voice off feminist blogs, while still reading and learning. You’ll keep your penises out of women, to avoid putting their lives in danger repeatedly. Thank you in advance, but keep in mind, you’ll have to bake your own cookies.
If you (women) are truly feminists, you’ll free yourself from gratitude-driven cock-sucking, and pour it into your own health first, and if you really, really need to activate, into women less free than you. It is actually more fair to men to just treat them like any other person. You don’t do them any favours by supporting/enabling their entitlement and inflating their already-large egos. If you really must express your thanks, thank women for adopting feminism. Thank radical feminists for fighting for your rights and putting themselves in harm’s way for you. Thank feminist lesbians for not supporting mandatory heterosexuality. Thank the brave women for fighting against the trannie erasure of you, your biological reality, and your rights and safety. There are so many better outlets for your gratitude. And besides, too much time spent on your knees is bad for your joints, and makes for a very limited view of the world. You deserve better.
There are so many reasons to hate capitalism, but at the top of the list is the requisite and abundant abuse of women. The abuse happens in several ways. One of them is through advertisements. As China has become more capitalist, the objectification of women has gotten worse. Woman-hate has always been there, as it is and has been in all cultures. It just manifests in different ways depending on politics, social system, economy, national history, etc. Capitalism, which is completely dependent on the abuse of women (and would collapse without it), offers men several new ways to hurt women. Using their images in abusive ways is just one.
As I’ve posted before (specifically here), China, like many places, sees white women as the ultimate whores. White female bodies are used to sell all sorts of products in China, but are especially useful for sex- and female-targeted (aren’t they the same? woman=sex) products.
The dismay felt today occurred when I walked past my local, 3-storey department and grocery store. A few times a year, they change the massive 2-storey-tall advertisements. And I noticed something. One of these ads is not like the others. Let’s see if you notice too. I present to you the current set of ads lining the outer walls of the largest shopping centre in my area.
Did you catch it? Did you notice which one was different? In case you can’t figure it out, let me help. There are two fully clothed, white dudes. Yeah, their styles are kind of effeminate, but that is actually quite normal for straight men in China. Chinese women will probably find these dudes attractive, I think. Then there are two white boy-children. Fully clothed with the ‘too cool for school’ look on their faces. Chinese people will find them acceptable. Then we’ve got a Chinese adult male. Slick, respectably dressed. This dude will command respect. And to be honest, I’d actually wear that outfit. Then we’ve got a young Chinese woman. Fully clothed (hard to see, but there is a tan-coloured shirt under all the red outerwear). She’s young and a cool up-and-comer. Timid, but part of China’s future.
And then we’ve got the White Whore. Dressed in clothes that are the very symbol of female slavery, humiliation, degradation, and inhumanity. Dressed in next to nothing in a culture where uncovered women are only seen as garbage to be used by men. This is part of the dual message that comes through in the advertising. “This is Woman – specifically White Woman – and she should be used, but not respected.”
All over the world, including China, white women are the object of choice for advertising lingerie, wedding rings, condoms, and other woman-as-sex-object items. I face these images of what are essentially representations of ME every single day, and it always occurs to me how much these images and their evil messages are internalized by everyone around me. We know these marketing devices work, otherwise we wouldn’t have advertisements at all. People have degrees in this shit from business schools. Marketing sends messages. So when I encounter people after they are daily bombarded with the ‘white woman as whore and nothing else’ message, how am I supposed to garner respect? How am I supposed to be seen as human? All they see when they look at me and other white women is some sex-crazed, fuckable property of white men. It scares the shit out of me, and I fucking hate it.
This is the intertwined racism and misogyny of China.
[This post is part of the White Girl series.]
Because it doesn’t happen a lot, every time I make a new female friend who doesn’t immediately turn out to be a complete raging misogynist, I cheer inside. And often out loud, too. With a happy dance. Female friendship should be cheered. And cherished. Unfortunately, the opposite is true in most corners of the world. Women are trained from birth not to invest in other women. That would undermine patriarchy and threaten their relationships with men.
On the whole, it is really hard to connect with Chinese women. First, I am ‘other’, so engaging with me is seldom something they pursue. They (the women) do violent things me and say mean things to me, oh yes they do. The women are often more aggressive to me than the men, and friendly engagement is rare. This is borne of the divisiveness created by patriarchy that keeps women from bonding. And as I don’t comply with femininity, I am further ‘othered’. With the really young Chinese women, they are usually wrapped up in shopping and beauty products and obsessing about boys and double eyelid surgery (all of which repulses the hell out of me) – and occasionally with studying really, really hard (which I fully support). And come mid-20’s, almost all women are sucked into mandatory nuclear family life. All women, including lesbians, are forced into the drudgery and humiliation of finding a husband, popping out a kid or two, and then enthusiastically embracing the lifetime of slavery that goes with that. It’s not unique to China. All cultures either force or coerce women into the family track through some means. I oppose the family structure because it is designed specifically to isolate and disempower women and to place female friendship and support and the possibility of professional networking at the very bottom of their priority list. It doesn’t work that way for men – quite the opposite actually. Family is a disastrous (male) invention that makes men’s lives easy and destroys the lives of women. But I’ve managed to cultivate a few friendships with Chinese women despite all this. They probably have greater meaning for me than for them, however, given my existence outside the family system and my wish to connect meaningfully with women.
One new friendship is with a lecturer at my university. We crossed paths as we use the same classroom – my class is immediately before hers. She did her Masters degree in Canada, so she has no hesitation about speaking with foreign people, unlike most Chinese who can’t even be bothered to say ‘ni hao’ to me or return my smile (which I gave up on a few years ago). And we have other things in common. We both have backgrounds in statistics and methodology and in addition to our scientific creds, also have degrees in the realm of management.
We got together for lunch yesterday, and even though my new friend told me right off the bat that she is a ‘traditional person’, I really didn’t feel that was entirely true. First off, she has a PhD (more education than her husband) and is currently looking for international opportunities to further her career. That doesn’t sound so traditional to me. Yes, she has several standard heterosexual views that almost all woman hold due to social conditioning, but I find her rather open-minded and reasonably rational for a woman from a very rigid culture in the clutches of dictatorship. I think her international experience really helped broaden her perspective (e.g., she had a gay masters advisor in Canada). And it was really easy to have a discussion on issues while holding sometimes differing views. Honestly, it was the most open face-to-face conversation I’ve had in… years?
I learned a lot of fascinating things during our lunch, but there is one thing I want to talk about in this post. The whole male child obsession.
There is new propaganda out in China about ‘girl children are important, toooooo’. It’s mostly bullshit, but the government is panicking about the backfiring of their population control policy and the disastrous effects it has had years later. And the panicking isn’t due to regrets or fighting misogyny. It is still all focused on male privilege. Let’s spell out what happened clearly.
- China’s population was exploding due to female slavery.
- The government decided to control the explosion by limiting families to one child (with exceptions).
- Like anyone but an idiot might expect, a culture built on woman-hate automatically gravitated towards that single child being a boy.
- Illegal sex determination testing was carried out by all people who could pay for it and many female fetuses were aborted. If people couldn’t afford the testing, they often abandoned or killed female newborns once the nasty surprise was born.
- A few short decades later, and the country is missing 40 million females.
- And note that the crisis is not that females have been killed, but that there now isn’t enough cunt to allocate to all of the males who were allowed to live.
- Boys must have access to pussy! What are we to do!!!!???? Oh no!!!!!
Now, it would be great to shit all over China for the horrors done to girls. But you know what? If you implement this population control policy anywhere in the world, the exact same thing would happen. There is no country in the world where boys aren’t worshipped and girls hated. When push comes to shove, given the choice between breeding a future rape victim or a future rapist, 99.9% of people would choose the rapist. Some of them might delude themselves into thinking they can produce a ‘good one’, but the fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as a good one. There are just entitled ones who ALL benefit from the threat all women live under. A male doesn’t have to rape to benefit from rape. Men (and most women) don’t get this. At all.
Despite being ‘traditional’, my new friend and I got into a good discussion of marriage and male privilege and the whole mandatory breeding thing in China. Women cannot escape from marriage and breeding. It is unthinkable and undoable. Even ‘out’ lesbians, the few that there are, are hounded by the government (in addition to friends and family) to submit and do their duty. Your twat and portable incubator belong to us and all the men in the country!!! And regardless of the deceptive ‘pro-female baby’ campaign, even educated people are still lusting after sons. We discussed a few examples from my friend’s life that made for some depressing food for thought.
In particular, she mentioned one of her closest Chinese friends. Someone she described as at the top of her career, accomplished, smart, talented – a great woman. But of course, she is married. She is also 43 and is now pregnant. This hit me very personally – I am 43 and can’t imagine wanting to be pregnant at this age. Anyhow, this woman had a daughter years before, but her husband is desperate for real human progeny – I mean, a son. So he badgered her. And the threat is that if this intelligent, accomplished woman doesn’t bear this asshole a son, he will leave her. [Me? I say ‘good riddance’. There is no reason for an economically independent woman to stay with a rapist-abuser.] And she relented. Being 43, she has been forced by Husband-Dickface into putting herself at great risk of death and endless physical and psychological complications, disfigurement, and/or permanent injury. Less important, but still worth considering, she is at high risk of having a child with any of a number of problems – which, as the mother, she will be solely responsible for taking care of. But Cock must be satisfied. He has absolutely nothing to lose in this narcissistic frivolity. The bitch must put out, or she will be tossed aside like garbage. I am positive that Cock will pay the money for an illegal sex determination test, and any defects (aka ‘femaleness’) detected will be aborted toot sweet.
My lunch companion then entered into the standard het-female spiel about her special Nigel (I need a Chinese equivalent for a special snowflake, can-do-no-wrong male partner – I may use the the popular name, Ming – 明 – ‘not my Ming’). She said that her husband wants another child, but she is 38, and she said she didn’t want to have another because she is getting too old, and um, she is an accomplished woman moving up in her career. He has given in. So of course, he is the Best Husband on Earth™. But I asked her, do you have a son or daughter? Wait for it… She has a son! Ding ding ding!!! If she had a daughter, her super special Nigel/Ming probably wouldn’t have let her get off so easily.
But she chooses to see his giving in as some superior quality, rather than only relenting because he already has what he wants – a son. And this kind of rationalizing preserves the hetero marriage paradigm, not just in this case but all over the world. Women need to find examples, even the tiniest shred, of positive male behaviour in order to justify their slavery. And cookies (in the West) and dumplings (in the East) are prepared and showered upon husbands and boyfriends for not hurting them. That day. That moment. This is the trap all heterosexual women fall into and it is what will keep het relationships (and male privilege, including forcing women to produce sons) safe until the end of time. Turning the whole ‘he could do x, y, z to me, but he chooses not to’ into ‘he’s a perfect male specimen’ is a defense mechanism. Is that not creepy or scary to you? The implication always is with men that they are choosing not to do something to you AT THAT MOMENT, but it could change at any time. The threat of what could be done with impunity is what keeps all women in line.
But I get it. I don’t like it, and personally, I made my life infinitely more difficult by NOT supporting heteronormative slavery through not getting married and breeding. But not all women have the fight in them needed to resist, or in the case of rigid cultures like China, the mindset to rebel. But, separate from my personal life choices, I like this woman just as I like all my enslaved female friends. We don’t have to agree on how to survive in this world.
So, I ended that conversation with an emphasis on the importance of female friendships and support. That might be a topic for another post as I gained some insight into debunking a stereotype that Western women have of non-Western women (specifically the myth that the latter have stronger female bonds because they are family- and group-think-oriented).
I have a very strange internet friend whom I’ve ‘known’ for a long time from years ago – back when I was a serious researcher doing serious research and not frittering my life and spirit away in China. We collaborated on a short project online, but we have never met in person. At this point, this acquaintance’s role has morphed into one of sending me occasional stories of ‘how fucked up China is’. News of the weird. Of human rightsy weirdness. Bizarre deaths resulting from Chinese neglect. That kind of thing.
The thing is, I KNOW ALREADY. I live here. I experience bad and weird things here all the time. I don’t bother to comb through alt-media sites or even mainstream Western media for Chinese fuckery because the day-to-day stuff that I see in situ is bad enough.
When you come from a country where there are *sometimes* consequences for abusing power – or at least the pretense of consequences – or at least mechanisms and bodies set up to deal with power abuses – it is hard to imagine it working otherwise in other places. So Westerners can’t understand that if they go to China, if anything untoward ever happens to them, there will be nothing whatsoever that can be done. Unless you have managed to get very well connected with powerful people, that is. And the majority of Western people – or any foreign worker, for that matter – are extremely vulnerable to abuse because they aren’t connected. Newbie Western workers will often try to fight what has happened to them with logic or human-rightsy arguments that usually start with: “This would never happen in MY country.” And they might be right. Maybe. It might happen, and you might be lucky to have a way to fight it. There is definitely more of a chance of fighting it in the West. But in China, you learn very quickly that anyone can do anything to you at any time. And you are not allowed to say anything about it. Even contract agreements between you and the Chinese only apply to you. If you don’t live up to the contract they can do what they want to you. But as a Chinese, they can break the contract every single day. You can complain if you want. And they will ignore you. And they might fire you because you don’t take abuse well. Their firing techniques are almost always passive-aggressive, subtle manipulation. It is actually the exact mentality behind Western men complaining about Western women. The whole “I love Asian women” phenomenon. Western women believe they have rights as humans. Most men don’t like that, and some will go East to find the perfect docile slave.
Many of the younger Westerners who come here are ‘liberal’, so they don’t usually complain, and may often make excuses for the Chinese (aka ‘apologism’), because they hold the Western mentality that the Chinese are oppressed – which isn’t actually true anymore in the West, nevermind the East. It’s the older white (and usually incompetent) male who comes here for a pussy and booze free-for-all who gets very angry and loud when he isn’t treated like a member of the dominant race. And both groups are delusional, by the way.
The Chinese are the dominant and the majority race. And China is very patriarchal. And it is still a system that is run as a dictatorship. And with that combination, you get very serious racism, very serious misogyny, and no concept of human rights whatsoever. There is no such thing as a race-motivated crime. There is no such thing as a crime against women. And there is no such thing as workers’ rights or human rights abuse of any sort.
It is hard for many Western people to wrap their minds around that non-Western reality.
I once read a disturbing, but amusing (because I could understand it on a personal level) little essay written by a long-time foreign resident in China about the stages foreigners go through when first living in China. It was written by a man, and thus didn’t take into account that China is much easier for men to deal with for a number of reasons. But I still recognized some of the elements in it. The whole essay reminded me of the grieving process one goes through when dealing with a death – starting with anger, moving through depression, and eventually resolving with acceptance of reality. It was troubling to realize that living in China was so similar to dealing with a serious loss such as a major death, but it is actually very much like that if you stay long enough. Living in China really does mean giving up your personhood or identity. It is a death of sorts. Whether you can be reborn or whether you remain living as the undead, is another thing entirely and is dependent upon either having your mind and spirit broken completely and thus becoming open to brainwashing or being able to escape most of the mundane Chinese abuse through obtaining an elitist kind of job with super-high pay.
I’ve thought about this a lot. Many sociologists and cross-cultural researchers paint this simplistic black-and-white picture of individualistic cultures and group-based cultures. And of course, the former are painted as evil and latter are somehow superior. But I think this conclusion, and the whole type-of-society dichotomy are not quite right. I actually find the Chinese to be much more individualistic and self-centred and heartless in some ways that I have not been able to explain (until recently) using the group-think or collectivist society model. Likewise, that model hasn’t explained the countless examples of supposedly average, individualistic, selfish Americans and other Westerners relentlessly donating their time and money to humanitarian efforts or to helping random people on the street. You may not see this if your knowledge of China has come solely from movies and the news, but given how much time I’ve spent in non-Western countries, I’ll tell you how jarred I am by how much positive and pro-social interaction there is between strangers in the West. Every time I return, I get freaked out. Strangers helping strangers. Hell, strangers talking to strangers. You never, ever, never, ever see this in China. Ever. Ever. People don’t even say ‘thank you’ here. But that is a post for another time. I have developed my own theory as to this individualism vs group-based society phenomenon.
My point is that to survive in China, you can’t see yourself as a person in the Western sense. And most people are not able to see themselves as a person in the Chinese sense. It’s not a great way to live. Undead.
I haven’t written in a while simply because my first two weeks back at work have been a racist, misogynist fuck-fest. There has been plenty of Chinese bullshit and some Western male bullshit, too.
The first day of class involved university officials and photographers stopping by my class to photograph me while teaching. I’m never allowed to say ‘no’ to anything they do to me, and in this case, they will use my image for their greedy capitalistic and political purposes. (See! We have foreign staff! Come to our university!!! Pay our tuition!!!) Like a porn contract, you sign on the dotted line, and that means they can do whatever they want to you after that (don’t worry, I’m not equating teaching with porn… I’m telling you that the Chinese mentality is the porn producer’s mentality).
I spent the week correcting the grammar of misogynist sentences produced by my male students, which was fucking awesome and not a mindfuck at all!
And the second week saw a quiet, moneyless payday – and an announcement from the university that they had no intention of paying us this month for last month. They announced to us that the pay schedule will change (again). Now, they are going to start paying us TWO WHOLE MONTHS after the start of each pay period. We get paid monthly, the pay date has been pushed further and further away from the pay period each year that I have been with this university. And now, work that I do on March 1st won’t be paid until April 30th. What??? I am not allowed to protest this. They have implemented worse abuses in past years – like breaking my contract and quadrupling my work load for no extra pay. The foreign staff has protested individually, but as Chinese, they give excuses and end up doing what they want to us. This new payment policy actually feels very much like one of the passive-aggressive Chinese punishments. They may be looking to clear out foreign staff by implementing abusive policy, so they can bring in new, naive people whom they can pay less.
This happens all the time. I’m used to it. There is nothing ‘fair’ about the Chinese. It may surprise you to know that this is the best place I’ve ever worked in all the years I’ve been in China. At least these employers don’t chain the staff into our residential building every night like my last employer did. Nobody could get in or out except the key master. The Chinese didn’t understand why the Western staff had a problem with that. A simple, humane solution to the ‘grave danger’ looming over our building would be to install a key card or coded key pad entry system. But that would cost the Chinese money. The Chinese don’t like to spend money.
But the worst of these first two weeks back was actually dealing with a horrible, British, male acquaintance/co-worker and his disgusting misogyny last Saturday. I’m still reeling from it. Unfortunately, I need to stay ‘friendly’ with this asshole, as one really needs allies when you’re working for the Chinese. The Chinese deliberately try to keep Western people in the dark and misinformed and isolated on several levels so that we remain powerless and disorganized. Because foreign workers are ALWAYS abused, it is really key to have as many allies as possible – even if they are assholes. Information needs to be shared since it is so hard to come by, and sometimes protests must be done as a group or at least in numbers. But the cost of being friendly with jerks can be really hard, and the deeper I get into feminism, the harder it is to deal with men who don’t see me as a full human.
I’m going to write about this asshole. It’s one of those things that ended up being successful in my mind even though it didn’t and doesn’t necessarily feel like it. I’m glad I did what I did, but my body and mind are paying for it. More soon…
Just an announcement that I’ve started a new series, or collection might be a better word, in the right side bar. Once you get writing for a while, certain themes become apparent. The new collection deals with the people who pretend to support women’s concerns, but who have ulterior motives.
We’re talking about ‘liberated’ men, male ‘feminists’, male ‘activists’, transfolk (specifically MtT’s), liberal ‘feminists’, and very occasionally women who seem to walk the talk of radical feminism, but who may eventually cave under pressure to support particular male rights that hurt women.
Anyhow, the collection can be found here.
I hope I won’t meander too much here. This isn’t a straightforward little Aesop’s Fable with a sweet little bottom line. It’s involved, layered, and there is no clear conclusion. Just something I’ve been thinking about for years and that I continue to think about as I experience more and more and find myself further down that downward spiral that is life as a woman.
Let’s just start with this: Canadians are miserable fuckers. I’m saying this as a Canadian and one who tries to spend as little time there as is humanly possible. As evidence, despite my great boredom on ‘holiday’ here in the US from China, and despite the fact that I have a piece of business I need to take care of up North, I’ve decided not to cross the border. I just hate the place. A small part of it is that Canadians are miserable fuckers. Various data/polls even show it. I remember a comparison poll I once read about done by the airline industry on the differences between Canadians and Americans, and they found that the number one thing American airline passengers hated was fellow passengers who brought too much carry-on luggage. Canadians? The number one hated thing was strangers sitting next to them trying to talk to them. Yeah, miserable fuckers.
But it’s all relative. Canadians are, for example, much, much friendlier and more helpful than the Chinese who are some of the rudest, most selfish, emotionless and humourless assholes on earth. But we’ll get to that.
And I will say this, having disparaged my fellow countryfolk, friendliness varies depending on where you are in the country. I’ve travelled a fair amount in Canada, and I’ve lived in four of the 13 provinces/territories. Having grown up in one of the nastier parts of the country, it was a breath of fresh air to move to the West Coast. I’d say that about American geography, too. I’ve lived on both American coasts and also travelled through 25-30 of the 50 states. While Americans are much friendlier than Canadians, in general, the West is waaaay friendlier than the East. And I’m talking basic friendliness, not politics or ability to think, etc.
Living on the West Coast, and in particular, on the various islands is a different world. People look each other in the eye. Strangers say hello to one another on the streets. You strike up conversations with people at bus stops. You help your neighbours. And people smile. Could be the weather. I really do think better weather makes for more easygoinginess, in general. It’s not that simple, of course, but I think it plays in. So when I moved out there in my later 20’s, I felt myself relax, connect more easily. And I smiled a hell of a lot more.
If you don’t think about smiling in particular contexts and the meanings it can have, you can make the blanket statement that smiling is good for your health. I have felt that, and still do to this day. Exchanging an ‘unloaded’ smile (I’ll get to that in a moment) with a stranger can change your frame of mind and put a different spin on whatever is going on in your mind.
But then there are the ‘loaded’ situations. This is where men come in and ruin things for women like they ruin every fucking, innocent, positive thing on the planet with their filthy minds and need to humiliate and dominate.
It is dangerous to smile at or around men. It is also dangerous not to smile at or around men. Nothing is safe, but a blank look – the kind you see on rape victims or women destroyed by working in porn – is best. Smiling at or around a man can, TO HIM, mean, that you want him, want sex, want to be approached, are submissive and friendly and compliant, and are the perfect victim/prey. Not smiling, and even scowling, may invite sexual harassment, belittling requests for a smile (“Smile for me, honey. It’s not that bad.” Um, yes it is. Now that you’re talking to me.), or the seeing of you as a threatening bitch in need of punishment. Women are required to smile in order to make men feel like men and to help them get what they want from you. Fucking fuckers.
But having said all that, it is not Western men who made me lose my smile, although I will say that now that I have been permanently affected and my eyes are fully open, I don’t waste smile energy on them anymore.
No, I lost my smile due to long-term immersion in Chinese culture. And it took only a month for the first changes in my behaviour to occur.
I still remember my very first month in Taiwan. I’d gone directly from the West Coast of Canada – happy, smiley territory. I was bright-eyed and pleased to be working in a foreign land once again. Until I got there. Despite having a machine gun held up to my face by an aggressive young man on the second day I was there, I still remained my smiling self. But I realized something. Not only did the Taiwanese not return my smiles, ever, the only thing I ever saw were blank, robot-like faces, or just plain old disgust. It was bizarre, and very disheartening. Chinese culture discourages emotion. Emotion = bad, weak, out of control. Even fucking smiling.
Even the children don’t smile. Even most babies!!! Back in those days, in between my regular teaching, publishing, editing and writing jobs, I took on some private language-teaching sessions with the children of rich families. I had one weirdo kid – an 11-year-old boy from a very rich family – who had a freakish interest in out-moded English vocabulary and whose mother would enrol him in adult-level film classes (um…). And oh yeah, the kid refused to smile or even laugh because he thought it made him ‘look ugly’. I got him to engage in some tailored, fantasy/comedy-based murder-mystery story-writing centered on the strange-looking photos of the authors of one of his English books. His stories were hilarious and I laughed my ass off. The kid would start to laugh and then deliberately choked on it to prevent himself from getting all ugly. But I pushed and pushed and finally one day he started laughing and couldn’t stop. Every time I came by his home after that, to his mother’s confusion, the kid would spend the first five minutes laughing hysterically before exictedly whipping out the next instalment of his who-dunnit.
Jezus fucking christ. My biggest accomplishment in Taiwan. Forget the textbook I published, I got a fucking little kid to learn to smile and laugh. Pathetic.
I spent a couple of years in Taiwan, found myself changed fundamentally in a negative way, but not entirely smile-less. I returned to Canada for about 6 years. And then I went back to a culture I said I’d never return to, and I’ve been in Mainland China almost solidly for the past 6 years. The Mainland is even worse than Taiwan, which might be expected given the history and the sheer terror that communism wreaked on the country for so long. And having been there so long, I’ve had a lot of time to study and reflect on the culture and how I have adjusted to it and been mostly destoyed by it.
China killed my smile. It’s not that I am incapable of smiling. I do it a fair amount when warranted. It is much less automatic or natural though in these situations. But in public, outdoors, it never happens. Never in China. And while it has a significant effect on how I feel inside and my outlook, in general, it helps me dissociate, which is necessary when you are a white woman in China. It also saves me a lot of energy. I was quite surprised actually, when I began to analyze the effects of the implemented changes to my public demeanour in China. I used to try to be ‘present’ when I went out, and it was exhausting and demoralizing, especially because there was never any reciprocation from the Chinese. Once I started behaving like them, things became, I don’t know… streamlined? Energy-efficient? Self-centred? I’m not sure what the right word is. I mean, I absolutely hate the way it has changed me, but at the same time, I don’t feel exhausted every time I finish an outdoor ordeal. Going outdoors is always an ordeal. The funny thing is this: I know from feedback from some of my students, that they think I look angry or they are a bit afraid to approach me. But the thing is that I look exactly like them, expression-wise. Blank face. ‘Chinese face’ is what some of them call it. But as a Westerner, and especially as a woman, I am expected to be the kind and entertaining dancing monkey. Double standards. But it saves me energy and I don’t have to be concerned with how I appear when I don’t waste time on distorting my face into something I’m just not feeling. I want to feel nothing, so I put nothing on my face. It becomes easier and easier.
The double standards happen in the West, too – only for women though. We must be the happy slaves at all times. Men can wear whatever the fuck they want on their faces including murderous rampage or disgusting, rapey perv. They’re fine no matter what. Not so for women. Now that I’m visiting the US, I have relaxed a little, but I am much more economic and mindful of my smiling. Tons of women have smiled at me, and I smile back. No problem, and it feels good. I like women. I like the solidarity and energy I feel when exchanging a smile with one. But I don’t smile at men anymore. I try not to even look at them. I’m mindful of where they are in relation to my person, but I don’t look at them. And I don’t scowl. I adopt blank, trauma-face. It is the safest. And so far, so good. I am hyper-aware without perhaps appearing to be so. I come across perhaps as on a mission, hopefully ‘not prey’.
I hate that men and male culture have destroyed something so simple as smiling and relating positively to people. I don’t feel natural, comfortable, easygoing, or healthy. Thanks, China. Thanks, men. Thanks, international Patriarchy.
I’m going to relate a true story for the first time ever. I’ve never been able to talk about it before, never told a soul. Partly, I find it humiliating, embarrassing. Like a proper female indoctrinated by society, the event always felt like a reflection of my intelligence and was somehow my fault. And like a proper, reviled white woman, for a long time I internalized all the hate and guilt that the world – men and women of all colours – heaped (and continues to heap) upon us. Everything is our fault. We deserve anything and everything that happens to us at the hands of all men. We must atone for the sins of white men – guilt by association of colour. All that shit. None of which is true. White women are more openly hated than any other group on the planet. And no hate of any group is more tolerated and encouraged than that of white women. White men love it and encourage it because it takes the true focus off of themselves.
I’ve had enough.
I’ve finally gathered the courage through this blogging endeavour and through the courageous blogging of Radical Witch, to speak out about, to speak truth about Muslim and other
privileged ‘oppressed’ men. When they lash out at us, we are supposed to stay silent and pretend that they haven’t committed a hate crime. We are supposed to support their hate, find excuses for it, and accommodate it even if means we die in the process. I think white women need to begin telling their truths in much the same way that the victims of rapey Catholic priests did not that long ago. The Catholic priests were untouchable, coddled, explained away for so long. Not any more. And I think the same thing needs to happen to Muslim men, men of colour, and other religious men who act out their privilege through rape, harassment, beatings, threats, intimidation, and killings of women. Human garbage, every last one.
I wrote earlier about the black dude here in China who pretended to be friendly and an intellectual and then stalked me for the purpose of raping a white woman. I also wrote about the group of Arab Muslim men who tried to kill me in a public place when I was 24 and travelling alone in Belgium. Oh hell, just see my Conversations with Men series or the White Girl series. These aren’t fucking thought experiments. They aren’t made up fantasies with nefarious agendas. These are real experiences that happened to a real person. Me. I’m a truth-teller. I am a supporter of women’s right to safety. And people will hate me for being a woman, being white and telling the truth. And I say fuck every last one of you if you choose to support violent men over me. I’ve never beaten or raped a person in my life. I’ve done nothing to warrant punishment or retribution. I’ve existed – that is my crime. And now I’m speaking. An even worse crime.
So, thank you, Radical Witch. I’m joining you. I will bet money that there are thousands and thousands of white women who stay silent and confused about and rationalize away crimes done to them by men who are supposedly more victimized than they are. As I always say, penis trumps vagina always, regardless of colour. Woman-hate is the most basic of hatreds and all other hatreds stem from it and are started and perpetuated by men.
Rewind to 2007: I was a graduate student living in a French part of Canada. I was living bisexually despite hating the label and strongly suspecting that I wasn’t all that hetero to begin with. I’d recently been dumped by an American man whom I’d known a long time and who, after freaking out about possibly getting me pregnant and then realizing I wasn’t, just decided that he didn’t want to deal anymore. Ditched me without explanation, even though I knew what was going on. It was a kick in the teeth to be treated as a problem in that way, and although the dumping was a good thing in the long run, I didn’t take it well at the time. I threw myself into school and a part-time job and running a few student organizations. My physical and mental health declined.
And it is when you are severely overburdened in this way that you are very vulnerable. Your judgment becomes impaired. Women make their worst decisions when they are under duress. And it is the absolute worst possible time to enter into another entanglement – especially with a male. And oh jeez, especially with someone from a traditional culture.
It was meant to be a dalliance, and an opportunity to practise my French with someone who couldn’t speak English (hard to find in bilingual Canada unless you delve into the immigrant communities). I met a dude by accident. He was an illegal immigrant from Algeria, an Arab and a Muslim. Trouble, yes? Remember that a group of them had tried to kill me about 10 years previously. But when you’re emotionally vulnerable, you don’t always make the best decisions. I was lonely, overworked, depressed, and still had a confused sex drive. A recipe for trouble.
And it was a horrible ‘relationship’. Didn’t spend a lot of time together, but it was constant fighting, which I suppose was good practice for my French – they don’t teach you to argue in French class. He was ignorant and very, very stupid. Occasionally kind. The worst ones always are, all the better to fuck with your mind. And while not at first, later on once my threats to leave never really panned out, disrespectful. I discovered he was an alcoholic, and a porn addict, which fed into the disrespect. He liked white woman porn, and it became very clear that I was just another piece of shit, white woman porn star in his mind. Once the disrespect started, I was on my way out. I may find myself in bad situations, but once it gets bad, I’m out of there. I don’t tolerate long-term, serious abuse that crosses a line I have drawn in my mind.
But there was one last thing I did for him. I took him out for his birthday. Kind of a good-bye type of thing – at least for me. He was disrespectful of my kindness, got drunk, we had a fight and I went to my apartment alone. Shortly after, he knocked at my door and I made the mistake of opening it. He demanded sex. I said no. And he raped me violently in my own bed. After I cried the whole way through the half-hour ordeal (normally, he took about 45 seconds with me), he told me that it was good for me to cry (sound like a porn script to you?) I told him to leave, which luckily he did. And I never spoke to him again. He harassed me continually, and tried to get into my building. Fortunately, the building manager was hyper-vigilant in general and nothing and no one got past her. Ever. I was lucky. He eventually gave up.
I also didn’t go the police. Nor did I ever tell anyone about it.
It’s not that I expected to hear “Well, what the fuck did you expect? He’s an Arab and a Muslim. They hate women and they’re rapists. They especially hate white, Western women. Duh!” No, I didn’t expect to be treated like I was stupid in that way. I knew most people supported the poor, goddamned Muslims. Besides, I was berating myself quite well on my own for continuing to pretend I was interested in men despite long-term disgust for them, and knowing that they are all potential rapists and all have misogyny running through their veins. No. Rather, what I knew I’d hear is a fuck load of excuses and rationalizations, disbelief or downplay, and perhaps accusations of me being racist and an uppity bitch or a liar. “Well, he must have been mentally ill. Well, he must have been too drunk. Well, he must have misunderstood you – after all you were dating. And what are you trying to say – he is a minority in our country. He is an illegal immigrant. He is oppressed! And you are a privileged white woman.” That’s what I expected to hear, so I didn’t tell a soul. I didn’t report it to the police. They would have believed him over me, especially since he didn’t cut me or break my bones and especially because the French Canadians hate the anglo-Canadians. He spoke French like a native speaker, and I sounded like a second-language speaker. And the French parts of Canada are becoming as pro-Muslim as Europe is. And many from the French-speaking Muslim countries (especially Algeria and Morocco) are flocking there and chipping away at the few rights that Canadian women have under the guise of ‘cultural sensitivity’. And the assaults increase and are brushed under the carpet.
I’ve learned my lesson with regard to Muslims and Arabs (although Muslims come in different models – I have lovely stories about the Chinese Muslim men where I live now.) I stay the fuck away from them. There are tons of Arabs where I live and I tense up every time I encounter them. I should have known better after that first attempted murder years ago, but dammit if white women are bullied into accepting abuse from every man on the planet, especially if he is non-white.
I’m done with simpering and signing my rights (like I have any) away. These assholes need to be held accountable for what they say and do – especially when they are welcomed and accommodated in more *advanced* (ha, like men anywhere are advanced) countries where women are allowed to go out by themselves to buy groceries (although sexual harassment and intimidation is still allowed everywhere in the world). But no one has the stones or the ovaries to stand up to them. And until we do collectively, shit is going to get worse for women.
I’ll start with a note on fantasy since I don’t think a lot of people really understand what it means and it is used incorrectly by men (of course) to justify any number of things they do or say or endorse. Men control language, you see, so they can define something one way, and then when it’s to their advantage, they can spin the table.
Fantasy, essentially, is
the act of imagining something impossible or very, very, very unlikely.
All of the video, pictorial, and written porn that exists supposedly falls into that category, and if men decide not to abuse the term ‘free speech’, they’ll fall back on “it’s just fantasy”.
Except that it’s not. The things that happen in porn happen to women, to quote Andrea Dworkin. So porn doesn’t fit the definition of fantasy because it is based on and perpetuates reality. It is violence. It is crime. It is rape. It is reality.
But I don’t want to be sidetracked here. This isn’t a post about men’s vacant inner lives and the need to fill their void with the worst kinds of hate and destruction.
No, this is a post about real fantasy. A woman’s fantasy. My fantasy. It is fantasy because it is impossible (or very, very, very unlikely). The purpose of a fantasy is to escape from the oppression of reality. And who needs to escape more than anyone? Women.
Perhaps 2015 would be better known as the Year of Anger because that’s what it seemed like to me. I’d like to think that this recent period leading up to and including the turn of the year, which has been filled with delightful thoughts of a world that is not possible, will continue through the remainder of the year. We’ll see. I hope so. I tend to be a realist and that is not necessarily a fun place to be – ask any woman who rejects feminism. She can’t handle it because it is a framework based on reality and reality is fucking depressing. And who wants that? Jeez.
I am fantasizing about a world with no men. I don’t care how they disappear. That has not yet entered into the equation. All I have at this point is an established world that doesn’t know men and certainly doesn’t fantasize about having them there! In many ways, it is unimaginable – as I said, it is pure fantasy. We have nothing to base the fantasy on except the negation of the current wrongs, or the opposite of what currently exists. It’s simplistic, but a starting place for a person or people who have known nothing other than slavery and whose history has been effectively erased to support the maintenance of that slavery.
So indulge me in a cursory look at the start of my fantasy, in the form of a list, which is no more than a woman’s surface look at what taking away the testosterone element might effect. At this point, I’m working from the negation/elimination of the current evils men have perpetrated and that have led to widespread destruction. I firmly believe women would not have gone down that same path as we don’t destroy ourselves of our own free will. Once you start thinking about everything you could do if you didn’t have to worry about the threat of men in all areas of life, you find yourself with endless possibilities. I truly think that without men, society would have achieved infinitely more in a much shorter amount of time. Woman-hate is a time and resource waster, a distraction.
Without men, we would have under the following topics:
- No rape
- No fear at night
- No sexual harassment or intimidation
- No sexual assault
- Little to no violent crime
- No gangs
- No dominance/submission structures
- No BDSM or sexual power play
- No prostitution
- No stripping/pole dancing/demeaning ‘sex work’ of any kind
- No sex/human trafficking
- No missing girls or women
- No slavery
- No pornography
- No surveillance
- No need for a police force (mediators, perhaps)
- No misogyny
- No property ownership
- No vandalism
- No weapons (other than practical ones for hunting)
- So, no guns, no bombs, no biological weapons, no nuclear weapons
- No territorial disputes
- No need for armies
- No terrorism
- No spies
- No diplomats
- No peacekeepers
- No war
- No refugees
- No racism
- No money-based system
- No drive for material wealth/possessions
- No bullshit ‘women love shopping’ myth/propaganda
- No corruption
- No privileged class
- No underbelly social class
- No ridiculous demeaning jobs
- No strikes
- No sweatshops
- No greed
- No poverty
- No classism
- No religion
- No ignorance
- No blind faith
- No dogma
- No irrational punishments and requirements
- No negation of truth or knowledge
- No needless shame
- No ideological persecution
- Commitment to truth rather than preservation of lies
Social Structure and Breeding
- No family
- No marriage
- No domestic slavery
- No pair bonding
- No forced breeding
- Little need for abortion (medical only)
- No pregnancy worship or denegration
- No myth surrounding biological clocks ticking
- Possible alternatives to natural pregnancy
- Low birth rate / population
- No unwanted children
- No male children
- No orphanages
- No street kids
- No monetization of healthcare
- Universal healthcare
- No denial of services
- Longer life spans without the obsession with longevity
- No sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV
- Little mental illness
- No mental illness stigmatization
- No anorexia / morbid obesity
- Little needless surgery
- Easy, non-stigmatized, humane access to assisted suicide
- Integrated, healthy relationships between patients and all practitioners of the health arts
- Health research not tied to agendas, cover-ups, fuelled instead by a willingness to explore all avenues
- No animal research
- No ridiculous focus on youth or beauty
- No gender
- No trans nonsense
- No body hate or image problems
- No cutting or self-mutilation
- Comfortable, woman-centric clothing
- No make-up or other hate-driven, toxic/harmful masking behaviours
- No body-destroying fashion
- No illogical body rituals (shaving, bleaching, whitening, etc)
- No surgery designed to ‘augment’ the body
- No global warming
- No needless waste
- No needless killing of animals
- No water, air, soil pollution
- No massive cities
- Only clean energy
- No property/money/patent-oriented messing with food
- No monocrops
- No large-scale agriculture
- Community gardens
- No animal farms
- Focus on biodegradable products
- Composting, vermiculture
- No chemical pesticides
- Environment-focused, local growing
- No introduced species (animals, plants, fungi, bacteria)
- Complementary technology for life assistance and co-existence rather than life destruction
- No education-as-childcare mentality
- Multiple styles of education available regardless of age
- No rigid age-to-grade classes
- Regular person-focused educational needs assessments
- Universal education to all who want it
- No priority subject areas
- Premium information search tools and information repositories, untainted by pornography and violence
There is so much more. This is just off the top of my head. And I’ll fully admit that it is only a starting point. As I stated earlier, when living in a slave system, it is hard to imagine a world of possibilities and so you must begin imagining the opposite of what you have.
It’s officially New Year’s Eve in China – about 8:30 pm. I’ve settled in with a bottle of overpriced red wine from Australia, and I won’t make it to midnight. I’m in a musing frame of mind.
I’m not a traditional person. I don’t have many rituals that I manage to keep for years. I have rituals that serve a purpose, and then when no longer needed, they go away. That’s their function, in my opinion. So the turning of the year isn’t that special to me. I don’t take stock or make resolutions. And if I wanted to, I don’t think I could anyways. I’m comfortably uncomfortable in my unstable life, and the comfortable part of that discomfort means that I haven’t been all that motivated to make big changes in my life. Under all that, I really just don’t know what I want anymore. The few things I know I do want/need are not achievable anyhow.
So what do you do when you’re low-key, unmotivated, feeling a bit lazy, and kinda strangely okay with all that? Well, you organize a huge group of young ladies with whom to go out for lunch and act crazy.
I mentioned in earlier posts that a) most of my students are male, b) I do occasionally go out with the most motivated and least offensive of those, c) I try to nurture female students if they want help, and d) a couple of young, first-year, undergrad law students crashed one of my Masters English classes this year. I’m happy to say, there are a lot of women in the law program, and it is with a group of 8 of them that I went out with today. No testosterone!
It happens so seldom these days. There used to be so many more opportunities to go out with groups of women when I lived in the West. When I was part of the working world then, I would always organize ladies lunches – and called them that too because it we all thought it was funny. And I miss those days so much. Gynergy. I’d like to say, if you could bottle the stuff… but it is definitely something that shouldn’t be sold and to even utter those words is to soil it with typical male non-thinking and greed and devaluation. Gynergy is priceless and should be free to all WOMEN. Not men, women. They get the stuff for free now, and women have to pay to keep the tiniest bit of their own.
So anyhow, to once again get a bunch of nutty girls together, even if they are all less than half my age, was a good thing. Yep, there are generational and culture differences. As soon as we sat down in the restaurant, half of them whipped out their cell phones to log into the free wifi. That is ubiquitous here and among the young world-wide. But there was plenty of talk about life, school, reading, plans, the upcoming Chinese New Year holiday. And then, it was photo time.
When young people tell me they have a hundred thousand photos on some social networking account, I used to disbelieve them. I remember the very first camera I got when I was 12. It was precious, and you had to really consider when you decided to take a photo. You only had one chance and then later you paid to have the roll of film developed. It was a crap shoot, and an expensive one. Cell phones have changed the world in so many ways (most of them not good ways). Photo-taking is constant and definitely not as valued as it once was. If I go out with a group of students, hundreds of photos are taken. When you add a foreigner to the mix, multiply the number of photos by a gazillion. Today, I was the only one without my camera out. That is not always the case, but I can usually have a few of the cooler shots sent to me. Today, things got pretty crazy, and with 8 people taking shots, I can’t even imagine how many photos there are. I wish I could include at least a group shot and a couple of the more charming concoctions, but you know, men ruin absolutely everything about a woman’s online existence, so I’ll remain faceless and anonymous. *Sigh*
Today was so great for everyone, that I’ve invited the crowd over to my place on Sunday for a dumpling-making party.
Dumplings are an important staple snack in China, and a very common thing to get together and do with family and friends. They are easy to make, and a hell of a lot of fun to prepare (especially if you are just learning how to make them). You can buy the little circles of dough (translated from Chinese as ‘dumpling skins’) fresh from the local farmers’ market if you don’t want to make your own. And you can make whatever filling you want. I’m meeting the students beforehand to go to market. This is part of the fun, for me, at least.
I also have a few games planned (which they might not have experienced in China) for after everyone has eaten too much.
I can’t imagine a better way to kick off the new year: cooking, eating, playing fun games, and sharing gynergy – oh, and of course, there will be a butt load of photo taking.
I didn’t realize it was Thanksgiving today until some of my Chinese students sent me text and chat messages with some lovely sentiments within. I decided not to remind them that I’m not American, and that while Canadians do celebrate Thanksgiving, we do it in October. I actually taught my students this and explained why Americans celebrate in November and Canadians in October, but Canadians don’t tend to impose their culture on the world, so my lesson didn’t stick. Western culture IS American culture.
Anyhow, I’m not ranting about Americans today – this post isn’t about pornography or capitalism, you see.
I’m talking about thankfulness and how men and women may differ in their perspectives.
As a woman, I’m grateful for every day that I manage not to get raped, sexually assaulted, harassed or reminded that I’m inferior. Luckily, I don’t experience the first two that often anymore – I am getting older and am not deemed as fuckable as I once was, although I’m not immune. But in China, the latter two happen every time I leave my apartment.
As a white woman, I’m ogled as soon as I step outside my apartment door. My neighbours objectify me and other me. They may cringe against the wall in the stairwell with horrified looks on their faces as I pass by them. Walking through my immediate neighbourhood is a daily struggle to remind myself that I’m human and not a walking twat and set of tits. Two-and-a-half years in a place should earn me a spot among humans, but I’m not Chinese and I am a woman, so I must be reminded by every single person I pass that I hold the privilege of being on public display as a sexual object to be enjoyed or reviled (or both) by all. Men don’t get this treatment I (and occasionally they) have observed. And they become invisible if they are walking with me, as I take the heat.
Since opting out of being othered is not possible, I have to resort to feeling thankful if I make it through my errand back to the safety of my apartment without being pointed at, laughed at, yelled at, called racial slurs, or hit on purpose – all of which do happen, and not infrequently. Because I’m a woman and because I’m not Chinese. I’m thankful for my white privilege and the special status that gives me.
I get annoyed – although that is not quite the right word – when I hear men and their fembots talk about how prostitution and other rape-oriented work is really a fantastic work option for women. They rename it ‘sex work’ to take away the rapey, violent aspect of it and to diminish this kind of slavery so that it is on par with flipping burgers.
I get further annoyed listening to men say they are ‘jealous’ about women’s options. How they wish they could rake in the cash by doing what women are lucky enough to be able to do with their natural attributes and talents. How prostitution is ‘easy money’. How using prostitutes and strippers and watching porn is ‘contributing to the economy’.
It’s fucking gross. And ignorant. And it’s horrible to hear women parrot what these men say.
Given that it doesn’t look like we are going to change that culture and belief system any time soon using rationality and appeals to morality and human rights – like men give a shit about that, right? – I propose a more effective method.
Men generally only understand problems when they affect them. Self-centred creatures, you have to hit men where it hurts. Raping women doesn’t hurt them, but maybe experiencing something analogous would. Maybe…
Anyhow, here is my proposal.
I think we should open up a new job category that is only open to men. It’s called ‘lab work’. Here’s how it works. I am against animal testing, and I think all beings should be able to choose the type of work they do. Currently, animals don’t have that right. So I will free them. Instead, men will be able to choose to have chemicals and drugs tested on them in exchange for money. In fact, teen-aged boys can choose to do it too.
There is potential for ‘big money’ – or at least, that’s the rumour/promise. It will be a good choosey-choice for men who would otherwise suck from the government cock (aka ‘welfare kings’), or be homeless, or have to resort to finding a sugar mommy. It can help young men pay for their college education. And some bored men – from househusbands to professors – can even choose to do it as a sideline and then act as poster boys for the ‘happy lab rat’ when people try to critique this important, empowering job choice.
They will be provided with comfortable cages in view of other men. Drugs will be available to make the work even more palatable. We can even groom boys from a young age to see this type of work as a good career option.
Why is this work so important? Well, you see, women have a god/nature-given right to safe cosmetics, hair products, household cleaners, and properly tested medications. We can’t provide that safety guarantee unless we test them. Men provide the best test subjects – men tell us all the time that they are better than women at everything, so naturally, they are totally and naturally made for this job. And it is a good match anyways – everyone wins. Women have their rights satisfied and men make a good living! Women will contribute to the economy and help men stay employed and feel empowered. Besides, if men don’t provide this needed service, women will likely start illegally testing the chemicals they need on the men in their lives. And we all know that that isn’t good for society. We need to protect the virtuous men. And the others, the unspeakables, are better suited for lab work, anyway. All in all, we reduce random violence against family men by legalizing lab work.
Agency, empowerment, choice, free will, economic stability, men’s rights. That is what this job is all about.
Oh, and by the way, if you think you have any right to criticize this proposal, think again. I will shout you down as a gynophobe, a misogynist, a communist, and worst of all… a LWEMRA (Lab Work Exclusionary Men’s Rights Activist). And I’ll probably just throw in racist, homophobe, Islamophobe, and a few other terms I’ll make up along the way, just to get you to shut the hell up and let men choose their choices with agency and dignity!
I’ll add these as I see them – cases that support the implementation of this kind of work. It is especially relevant when MEN create dangerous products for WOMEN. They should absolutely be tested on men first so that their safety can be vouched for.
I’m in China – it is Hallowe’en morn. For many of you, it is still October 30th or ‘Devil’s Night’ (at least that is what we called it in Canada when I was a kid) – the night bad kids will sneak out and tp or egg people’s houses. Until about the age of 30, it was my favourite festival of all the observable Western holidays. I like the night. I like costumes. And I like chocolate. I don’t participate in the traditions anymore, but now that I’ve gotten older, I’ve researched the history of the festival (which I won’t get into here), and it is truly fascinating. I have a deeper understanding of how it came about and has evolved over the centuries.
To my complete puzzlement, and to be honest, my disdain, China has begun taking on Western holidays. Let me clarify. They take on the marketing and capitalistic rewards of holidays such as Hallowe’en and Christmas, but none of the meaning. Some of the people put on this weird fake enthusiasm for them, but like much of Chinese enthusiasm, it is all surface. There is no understanding of the festivals and they definitely don’t give a shit about them on a deeper level. These holidays mean nothing to them. Why should they? Festivals are rooted in culture, religion, and history. I just wish they wouldn’t bother – it is deeply offensive.
Not that these holidays are well understood by Western people either, but for all of us, there is tradition and cultural meaning, both positive and negative, regardless of whether we are religious or not.
So the Hallowe’en decorations have gone up here in China, and in the department stores, I’ve noticed candy and costumes for sale. Here’s where things get curious for me.
I haven’t seen a single slutty/sexy costume anywhere. And it’s a fucking relief.
Apparently, the Chinese didn’t get the message. The basic purpose of Hallowe’en is to let women AND little girls release their inner whores for the titillation of men.
I’ve put together a little comparison of current Western costumes to illustrate my point. And if you’re wondering, all of these photos I found individually. They were not already paired as mini-slut and mommy-slut. The unplanned similarities in costumes and mannerisms are depressing and creepy in a Stepford-slut (terminology attribution: Gail Dines, I believe) kind of way.
When the fuck did this happen? I don’t remember this at all from my youth. Hallowe’en was just about fun and eating too much candy. Adults sometimes had their own Hallowe’en dress-up parties, but there were no ‘sexy anythings’ then. Girl children were NEVER trotted out as whores or ‘sexy anythings’ – except for the princess thing, which I’m proud to say, I never did. But now it’s harem girls, sexy cops, sexy nurses, sexy witches (used to just be wart-covered, scary witches), and even, gulp, French maids.
One significant thing. During my youth, more people made their own costumes. I have never worn a store-bought costume. My mother sewed everything, and then when I got older, I either sewed, but more often, crafted from various non-clothing and thrift-store clothing items, something interesting and very original.
But at some point, capitalism inserted its stiletto heel into Western culture’s brain, and it has been a slut-fest ever since. People say they are too busy or too unimaginative these days to spend time on costume creation and construction. I agree on the latter. Capitalism and porn have stripped (ahem) people of their ability to think of interesting things. It’s all sex, all the time. A woman must be sexy 24-7, and this includes when dressed up for Hallowe’en.
I seldom dress up for Hallowe’en anymore, but about five years ago, I did a year-long stint teaching high school in rural China. My colleague and I decided to have a Hallowe’en party, and we got excited about creating some simple costumes. I bought some thin, black electrical tape and black construction paper, and I luckily had a yellow shirt of my own and black pants, and voila! I became a bee. My colleague spent equally little – white tape and some construction paper, and became a zebra. They were great costumes.
I worry about the future of the West, and especially the safety and self-image of Western girls and women. Capitalism and its evil spawn, digital pornography, are damaging the culture, likely beyond repair. I think porn will lead (hell, we can see it already!) to the intellectual downfall of the United States, whose number one export is porn, and number one import is intelligent foreign students and labour.
As much as I dislike China, they have managed to keep porn out of the mainstream – it is illegal. More on this another time, but while I am anti-censorship, I am firmly against hate speech and pornography is, without question, hate speech. In China, unfortunately, women are seen as chattel in other ways, but (without touching on the shameful 1,000 years of foot binding) they are not yet being degraded the way Western women are. But, I fear that is only a matter of time. Until that time, there are no Chinese Hallowe’en sluts on offer.
It’s my first post of October. Alas, I have been out of town and away from my keyboard. It’s my first chance to write.
I normally find it healthy to get out of China once or twice a year. China is not the greatest place to live as a non-Chinese woman. Outside of your apartment you are public property, permanently on display for every man, woman and child. And they’re not polite about it. I’ve learned to dissociate as soon as I leave my apartment, much like I have done during a pelvic exam at the gyno’s office or during a sexual assault. I pretend I’m not there. I wonder at the long-term damage to my spirit, all this dissociation.
But for a few reasons, I’d been stuck in China for about 14 months. And then I found a way to leave for about 10 days that overlapped with a Chinese holiday and the rest, well, I took a few days off work. I went to the United States, Los Angeles specifically, to visit a complicated friend. Or is it a simple friend with whom I have a complicated relationship? Dunno.
Going from China to the US – or any Western country for that matter – is always strange to me. They are such different experiences, although there are many underlying similarities. As this is a short post, I’ll just mention one thing that really stands out to me that illustrates this unique quality – the differentness and the similarity of the places.
China is distinctly not white. White people don’t rule the day-to-day business. On a global scale, that is a different matter – although I think that is starting to change. But on the ground, white people don’t have special rights, and in fact, are often denied rights and are abused in the way that foreign workers or tourists usually are anywhere without workers’ rights or human rights standards as the norm. Chinese is the dominant race and culture. Among the foreign population, most (in my city) are not white. Among the white population, white women are a rare thing. Men are always more plentiful among travellers and foreign workers. Women are just less likely to work abroad unless they come with a partner or have a personal well of confidence. So if you see a white woman, it is an uncommon thing, indeed.
Los Angeles, on the other hand, is distinctly multiracial and multicultural. White is still the dominant race power-wise, and more specifically and pointedly, white men rule.
Yet, in both places, white women are the universally-accepted whores.
When I walk around in the very, very non-foreign-populated community in which I live in China, you will see large poster advertisements in the commercial areas of white women in lingerie or in sexy poses for some stupid product or other. It is offensive and disconcerting. Most people have never seen a live white person, but might be faced day-to-day with a larger than life advertisement of a scantily-clad white woman. And then they run into me. How do they see me? I have first-hand knowledge of the poor treatment that can result. Going by the behaviour of some of them, I can only imagine they think I am public property, especially if they are watching American films and television in addition to viewing misogynist advertisements.
While in L.A., even in my friend’s upper middle class neighbourhood, there were plenty of billboards and advertisements along the commercial streets. And most of them were of nearly-naked white women selling all sorts of shit from construction boots to gym memberships. There were a couple of new, highly-offensive and scary ones that had been put up since I was last there. I’ve never understood the logic of what is done in advertisements. It can’t just be catering to men’s penises. The ads are so hateful, I can only imagine that they are also designed to remind women of what their place is and the fact that they will never truly measure up. You are all whores. You need to have this skin colour. And of course, you need to look like this. Why would we want to be whores, though? Why do women accept this pronouncement? These ads?
For some reason, white women have become the target of many, men and women, alike. Women, in general, do make the easiest targets, and white women are easier to attack than the real culprits – white men. They are the cannon fodder. The ones white men put in front to take the heat, to shoulder all the blame. And because white women are part of the sex class, they become the whore all women should both aspire to and hate at the same time. But the thing is, white women don’t have real power. Forget what some dumb fun-feminist tells you about empowerment through nudity and sucking cock. They still have less power than all men of all colours. Always have. They are still victimized by the lowest men on the male hierarchy. A homeless, mentally ill man of colour can terrorize any woman on the street and get away with it. He can even scream racism at her as she cowers from his male threat, not his race. The woman can’t escape. She just needs to ‘relax’, ‘take it easy’ – she is the privileged one, right? The public and law will support him over her. He is justified. As long as women are objects, they have no power. As long as we have to witness our naked bodies on display for entertainment and marketing, we will never be free or be safe or have power or be taken seriously. Those billboards hurt.
If your only rejoinder is that ‘sex sells’, well, guess what? None of this is sex. It is debasement, objectification, exploitation, and subjugation. Of a class of people.
It’s not ‘sex sells’. It’s ‘sexual slavery sells’. And it sells everywhere in the world, thanks to men of all colours, led by the white boys. The solution is not to include more women of colour in the public nudie parade. It is to take the group-specific sexploitation out of entertainment and marketing entirely.
I’d like to live in a place where advertisements (if they must exist at all) are limited to the product and its qualities. No whores needed. In China, in the US, anywhere, everywhere.
From all corners, we are exposed to the patronizing tsk-tsking, mansplaining, and of course, much more aggressive threats, from men who think Western women need to shut the fuck up over their imagined oppression. Like all men who think of themselves as intellectuals, they like to trot out Muslim women as examples of the truly oppressed. In mansplainy fashion, they try to derail Western feminists by telling them they should stop whining and focus on helping these poor Muslim women in far-off places – to not do so is anti-feminist or something like that. Of course, not a single one of these offended men helps (or likely even knows personally) the Muslim women of whom they speak. Not one of these men assists at local women’s shelters, let alone marches/petitions to stop honour killings or FGM, donates money to feminist causes abroad, or volunteers in war-torn countries to help oppressed Muslim women. Rather, like the men in the cultures they are criticizing, they are simply using these Muslim women, and easily throw them aside and forget about them once they are finished their tirade against uppity Western bitches and their whining about the imagined harms of pornography or strip clubs or pervasive rape culture. The ‘Muslim women have it worse’ trope is a convenient and oft-used tool to shut feminists up about valid misogyny.
But there is a lot to fight against at home, and it is at home that one always should start because fighting what you know and experience gives you your best chance at success. Success is important if one is to provide an example to the world at large. And if the above male response to Western women speaking out isn’t evidence enough that there is work to be done at home, then we can easily find other things to fight against. And one could start with the current, media-friendly, sexay-fun image of faux-feminism. To those examining feminism for the first time, a false image can be quite confusing and damaging.
Pornsick lefty ‘male feminists‘ and libertarian chest-beaters along with their choice-feminist pole-dancing bimbettes (aka Third Wavers or fun-feminists) are lockstepping American women and girls (and unfortunately other Western-world citizens infected with the americo-virus) towards the other extreme of female sexual slavery: 24/7 pussy with a side of empowerment and cheeky smiles. It’s the porn/prostitution/stripping are feminist choices crowd. These days, Western girls are trained in the basics of sluthood (or How to Be a Modern Girlfriend) before they learn Intro to Algebra in school. And the grown-up, self-actualized, I’m-a-slut-so-what feminists are getting right pissed off when someone like me suggests that they’re hurting women as a global class, regardless of how free they feel as individuals to have made their ‘choices’. Yes, individual choices can hurt groups.
It’s all just misogyny taken to one extreme on the female sex class continuum.
I can just imagine all the tired, repetitive, indignant comments I’d receive from those who choose to miss the point to stave off cognitive dissonance (being offended feels soooo much better), which is one of the reasons I don’t allow comments here. They are a waste of time to read and respond to. Deprogramming is a long process, and a comment war on a blog is not how to go about it. Plus, I don’t have the patience to deal with the deluded and the willful ignorant. I’m better with those who truly wish to help themselves. Suffice it to say that I am pro-human rights, wish that all women were free from brainwashing to conform to male demands, and believe that sex and how it manifests could be decided freely between parties outside a structure of dominance. We don’t have that situation now. Not sure we ever will given how few women are really interested in standing up for true liberation. We don’t have the critical mass.
Why is it important to fight this ’empowerment’ and ‘choice’ nonsense that some so-called Western feminists insist they have? Well, when women on other points of the female slavery continuum, such as those who are forced into marriage or who are forced to cover themselves up to hide their filthy female bodies, take what fun/choice-fems do and say as freedom and feminism, they often don’t see the appeal. They don’t necessarily see them as free and don’t see Western freedom as a great alternative to what they endure currently. They may, in fact, see fun/choice-fems as the real slaves (or possibly sister-slaves on the continuum). And when one doesn’t like the alternative to one’s current situation, one is not likely to fight against the latter and will remain oppressed as per local custom.
That’s not good.
Unfortunately, nowhere in the world is there an example of what true freedom for women looks like. I mean, there are radical, Western feminists who are walking the talk and going about it in a way that makes sense. We can tell who they are because they are not receiving the enthusiastic male support that the pole dancers are. And that should tell us something. Men always go along with shit that maintains or increases their privileges. But as for a healthy model we can point to to demonstrate what female liberation and true feminism looks like? It ain’t there. I think we’d need a separate planet for that – Patriarchy wouldn’t allow a separate, liberated society to exist unmolested, unattacked, unraped in such close proximity. There may be small pockets of women’s communities, such as this small separatist community of rape survivors in Kenya who are going strong after 25 years. How unmolested are these individual communities by angry, insecure men? I can’t tell you. But in general, and on an individual level, there are serious consequences for women who cry out for liberation and/or separatism – hell, just voicing an opinion in public can bring on merciless attacks from men as well as their handmaidens.
Western women are nowhere near free or safe, but we do have a little more freedom to speak out than do our sisters in more oppressive cultures. Men may still hate us deeply and will fight us viciously to keep their right to hurt us with impunity, but we can and do find public platforms to speak out against the misogyny and Patriarchy that we live with. And our successes will fuel movements and individual rebellion in other places.
That, at least, is the idea.
I’m not sure why I bother. Watching documentaries, that is. Roughly 99.9% of English language documentaries are made by white dudes. Sometimes, they’re religious white dudes. Sometimes, they’re environmentalist, lefty white dudes. Sometimes, they’re libertarian white dudes. Sometimes, they’re partially lobotomized, incoherent nutjob white dudes. Most of them are middle class or come from those there parts – not rich enough to be truly devoid of cause. And not poor enough to be barred from funding even a low-budget documentary. Most of them have a basic college education – even the partially lobotomized ones, since we hand out college degrees like candy to white dudes with damaged brains.
But despite the deceptive variety in approach or ideology, the commonality is that they all belong to the class at the top of the human heap. And as such, they are blind to many things; they believe they have more of a right to speak than most; they believe they have a unique perspective than no one else has; they see themselves as leaders and ones best equipped to speak for all of us; and they tend to populate their documentaries with interview clips of their fellow white dudes as if there are no other people available to offer insight.
Most liberal white dudes are tuned in enough to make a documentary that pays lip service to problems of racism and classism – because these, of course, are classes that contain bepenised people – men can be of different colours and can be poor. And all men deserve attention, of course. But their oh-so-unique views of the world almost always miss one of the most important (if not THE most important) cause of why our world is the shithole that it is.
They either ignore or severely downplay the role of male domination – aka Patriarchy – in the destruction of the earth and the degradation of the human condition. They don’t acknowledge the fact that the only reason men have made poor economic models work in the short run is because they’ve built everything on the unpaid or lesser paid backs and uteri of women. You can’t have domination without slaves. And slaves have, for the most part, throughout history and continuing through to tomorrow, been women. But even when you have an unlimited slave supply (women), you can’t make a model of unlimited growth work (à la capitalism), or expect nonrenewable resources to magically become unlimited, or demand unlimited environmental imperviousness to deadly human assault.
It makes for a flawed and incomplete documentary. It has always made for bad science and theories in every field. When you don’t factor in Patriarchy as the primary cause and/or the primary environment, you aren’t telling the story correctly. It would be like trying to measure atmospheric gases, but failing to take into account that the planet being studied is Jupiter.
Men leave this key part – that Patriarchy is the root of most problems on Earth – of the puzzle out for a few reasons:
- Men like women to shoulder some to all of the burden when blame is to be laid and responsibility is to be taken for shitty circumstances.
- Conversely, men like to take credit for things (even when they didn’t contribute) only when it is a positive accomplishment (i.e., male expert dominance to be patted on the back in the awareness-raising documentary).
- Men don’t want to acknowledge that we’re in the shitter because of them, their violence, their greed, and their lust for power.
- They won’t find themselves an audience if they suggest that men fucked up and should take responsibility for the things they’ve done and should immediately relinquish their control and power structures. Men don’t like to be told that their millennia-long culture of dominance and rape is at the heart of most of the world’s current woes. Even a lot of Stockholm Syndrome-affected women won’t get on board with a documentary that says, “Look at what the men have done.”
I’m going to force myself to watch as much of this as I can. I’m into minute 23, and after way too much melodrama and wordiness, this generic, middle class, white dude, has finally laid out what he sees as the four main things that will lead to American downfall. I noticed that all four problems he listed result directly from Patriarchy, yet he doesn’t identify Patriarchy as the ultimate source. He referenced Derrick Jensen early on in the doc, and implied that he interviewed him, so I’d be a little disgusted, but not surprised, if he managed not to talk about Patriarchy in his ‘analysis’. Jensen has paid lip service to radical feminist theory, although I find him a little arrogant for my personal liking.
Two hours later:
I managed to get through two hours of, yes, mostly white dudes pontificating on the decline of the American Empire. And no, Patriarchy wasn’t mentioned even once. Dominance yes, but dominance was used to refer to class and race, as I predicted. There wasn’t a single mention of the oppression of women and how all empires have been built on that requirement. It was unsurprising, but still disappointing. Oh, and Jensen was indeed interviewed, and he arrogantly told us his favourite thing that HE ever said. Icky. Self-quoting… Well, white dudes. What do you expect?
I’ve noticed a few things about white dude documentaries. I’m not sure if there is a manual that they all read, but recurring elements creep me out.
White Dude documentaries must display the following:
- Lots of historic film footage of dudes doing something dudely or women doing something degrading or feminine. Preferably from the 1950’s or from some wartime period (if soldiers or concentration camp victims are needed)
- All or an overwhelming majority of those interviewed are white male experts (despite there being tons of non-white and/or non-male experts in any given field)
- Video clips that give a literal enactment of some metaphor used by an interviewee. For example, an expert begins talking about destroying the environment, and suddenly you have a clip of a wreaking ball.
- Quotes from noted misogynists, pedophiles and the like. (This particular film quoted Woody Allen who is both a misogynist and a pedophile.)
It’s hard to take a documentary seriously if it ignores really key elements. I’m not talking about entertaining and giving equal weight to fringe theories. I’m talking about allowing personal bias resulting from privilege to severely limit the explanation of the phenomenon you’re trying to cover. Feminism is not a fringe theory, and it is globally relevant. It needs to be included to provide an accurate picture of what is going on. It is also hard to take seriously any documentary that pulls testimony from a single group of privileged people (who all look like you) when the phenomenon is a) relevant to more groups than that small one, and b) there are plenty of representatives of many other groups to pull from as experts.
Nice try, white dude. He would have been better off giving his funding to a woman or minority and offering his services as ‘research support’. He would actually have been walking his talk then. But that’s just the thing. When a white dude talks about wanting to change the world, it’s just words. He doesn’t actually follow through on what he’s saying. It would have been really, really easy for him to make a positive change by enabling a traditionally less powerful, and often silenced, voice to deliver the message. When have men every stayed silent though?
*** Note: I’m not going to link to this film. It’s really not worth watching, nor do I offer a time-back guarantee when you demand those two hours of your life back. Anyhow, I wanted to comment on a phenomenon, not this particular documentary.
As a university instructor in China, I take great delight in mentoring young women who venture outside the traditional ‘women are property’ box. Planting seeds of personal rebellion is my specialty, as is providing validation for the stirrings of feminist thinking that normally get stamped out by controlling parents and concerned friends.
One of my young protégés, a lively English major who took my writing class last semester, had an exciting summer. We had lunch last week and I heard all about it. She had joined up with a volunteer organization that brings young people from different countries together to teach children. I’m not quite clear on what they teach. I thought it was English, but most of the people who came to China to teach were not native speakers of English. Maybe culture? There were young men and women from Vietnam, Indonesia, Russia, Egypt, Tanzania, and the US, in addition to the local Chinese.
But I was less interested in the teaching experience and more curious about my former student’s exposure to people from around the world. On the whole, I think it was a good thing. But there were several alarming elements.
First, it becomes quite clear how sheltered and naive the Chinese are. All of the foreigners, save the Vietnamese and the Indonesian, spent time teaching my young friend English slurs and general swearing. And most of it was woman-hating, of course. She learned how to say cunt, bitch, fuck you, retard, etc. And she also got some odd, inaccurate advice from the non-native English speakers. Apparently, “Screw you!” is a very polite form of “Fuck you!” Huh? I worry about a) ESLers, and b) 19-year-olds, teaching the intricacies of language to the impressionable. So, we had an in-depth discussion of nasty words and who they hurt (usually women, and other oppressed groups), and by the end, I think she was much less enthusiastic about hurling insults at people. But swearing is the number one thing most people want to learn when they are first exposed to a new language. I just give a different perspective on it – I do, after all, swear a lot, and put a lot of thought into why and who gets harmed by it.
Second, the poor thing ‘fell in love with’ the young Egyptian dude in the group. She thought he was awesome. Luckily, he was crushing on the properly diminutive and dainty Vietnamese girl and wasn’t interested in my more outgoing Chinese friend. I got to watch a few videos she took featuring him posturing in his macho way, and I wasn’t quite so taken with him as she was. Personally, I don’t find Egyptian men or Egyptian culture all that progressive. The country is, after all, in full support of female genital mutilation – over 90% of the current female population has lost their clits and/or had their fuck holes sewn up in the name of ‘respecting women’. I personally have had way too much experience with the rapeyness and violence of Muslim men (both strangers and a man I had the misfortune of dating) in a few different countries, and I worry about non-Muslim women who get involved or find themselves trapped with men of that persuasion. Men are scary enough on their own, but when they are religious, there is a whole nuther layer of justification for woman-hatred present.
Third, my young friend got an instructional dose of the ‘female dichotomy according to men’ care of the young Tanzanian man. The viewpoint certainly isn’t limited to Tanzania or to black men – it’s universal. But the dude laid the viewpoint out quite clearly and matter-of-factly. And my friend, being young, female, Chinese and naive, didn’t see anything wrong with it. The viewpoint goes something like this:
There are two kinds of girls: the ones you have fun with and the ones you can take home to your parents and marry.
What my friend didn’t understand, because Chinese girls are not educated about sex, was that ‘the ones you have fun with’ translates into: bad girls, the ones you can fuck, but don’t have to ‘respect’. She didn’t see that men have this thing called privilege where they can place value on women. You fuck the trash and then throw it away when you’re done, but you marry the pure. And both types of women are objects. You are a whore one way or the other – either a public whore (the bad girl/slut – girlfriend material) or a private whore (the pure, wifey-wifey material that you can only rape after marriage).
I made sure to explain all of this.
Do I do young women a favour by telling them how the world really is? How men will always enslave us? I don’t know. As a Chinese woman, she doesn’t have options. She must get married. Her parents definitely don’t want her marrying a foreigner – that is just racist, Chinese culture talking. But marrying a Chinese isn’t going to be any better than marrying a foreigner – they are all men, and marriage is the slavery of women. So is it better to go into female slavery naively than going into it with wide open eyes? I don’t know. I’d like to think that being prepared is better than being bitterly disappointed that the fairy tale that girls are force fed from birth isn’t true.
I was much less naive when I was 20 and a budding feminist to boot, but I do so wish I’d had an older woman in my life to open my eyes to reality. It would have saved me a lot (not all) of the grief I went through in navigating a world of woman-hate.
As I’ve mentioned before, I am a university instructor of writing, academic English, and general speaking classes in China. I’m 43. I don’t practise femininity, although everyone easily knows I’m a woman cuz I have tits. You’d think that I’d become a little more invisible because of my age and androgynous clothing, but sadly, that is not the case. I’m reminded on a daily basis that I’m a woman and that I exist as sub-human, a sexual object, and there primarily for male use.
When you teach in China, unless you are teaching at an all-female school or are teaching non-science or non-technology majors, you are stuck with classrooms full of dudes. Female students still face many barriers to entry into these ‘male professions’ here, and of course, China is missing millions upon millions of girls because of selective abortion resulting from the One Child Policy. I teach at a technology university, so you know what I’m stuck with. Wall-to-wall dickitude.
Last semester, I was fortunate to have a lot of English-major classes (almost completely female), tourism classes (female-dominated, male minority) and business grad students (equal gender divide). I knew I should cherish that time, and that I would be unlikely to be so fortunate again. Having predominantly female students is a very different experience from having a predominance of male students. It’s a more pleasant, non-aggressive, and intellectual experience. You get more questions about real issues. And all of this matters even more when you’re a female instructor trying to preserve your safety, sanity and dignity.
After such a positive semester of academics and womanhood, this new semester began in stark contrast. Aside from having to tell classrooms full of young men to shut the fuck up and listen every five seconds like they were out-of-control toddlers, misogyny reared its ugly immediately.
First, there were endless comments from the males about what a shame it was that there ‘weren’t enough girls’ in their classes. (I think there were five women in total out of 140 students.) Now, the concern wasn’t because these young men wanted to see equality in science and technology, or that they wanted to do something to rectify China’s history of gynocide, or that they wanted more opportunities for women, in general.
Simply, they wanted more and convenient access to pussy.
To all men in the world, these Chinese boys included, women exist to be looked at and used sexually. So, I wasn’t fooled. These privileged dudes weren’t feeling sorry for women. They were feeling sorry for themselves. It was all about their entitlement.
I watched the faces of the few girls in the class when these comments were made amid the snickers of fellow male classmates. The young women’s faces reminded me of those being victimized in porn or in violent scenes in film/tv. Checked out. Blank. Knowing full well they had no escape from the misogyny of the four years of their degrees or the lifetime following graduation. Knowing that speaking up and defending themselves would unleash the hate and violence that lives in all males. They were trapped and according to Chinese culture, had to accept their fate as objects. It is rare that women speak up for themselves in China, and I’ve only ever witnessed it in one-one-one discussions or in my classes where women predominate. I feel for these young women, and I’ll stand for them as much as I can in class.
And then there was the misogyny directed towards me.
Keep in mind that both elders and teachers are *generally* still given respect in China – unlike in the West, where both older people and teachers are constantly criticized and regularly disrespected, even by small children. So when you see disrespect in China, it is a big fucking deal.
Respect in China, I’ve learned over the years, is meted out differently to men and women. As a woman, and especially as a foreign w̶h̶o̶r̶e̶ woman, I can be easily and justifiably disrespected. And I am constantly disrespected. Out of three classes I conducted during this first week alone, there were three notable instances of disrespect that no man, Chinese or foreign, would experience. Chinese women are not on par with men in this culture either, but I guarantee they are not on the receiving end of unwanted touching or solicitation in a university classroom. So upon first meeting of their university instructor, my classes of dudes gifted me with the following:
- My ownership status was questioned. In an introductory exercise meant to get students thinking about asking questions, I had my surname put on the board. They were meant to come up with: “What is your family/last name?” But no one thought of that. One dude immediately came up with “What is your husband’s name?” (I have to justify my non-married AND childless status every goddamn semester. My male counterparts don’t.) Instead of a justifiable, but unprofessional “FUCK YOU” directed at the student, I decided instead to let the boy know that the name was mine (technically, my rapist, wife-beater grandfather’s…) and that neither was I married nor did women ever need a husband. The class laughed. Of course they would. Women’s words and needs can’t be taken seriously.
- One male student tried to hug me. China is not a cross-sex touchy culture. And you definitely don’t touch strangers, even of the same sex. And no Chinese student over the age of 5 would EVER attempt to touch a teacher, especially on the first day of class. But I am a foreign woman. Thanks to misogynistic Western media (primarily American film and television) and thanks to Chinese misogyny, white women (not black or hispanic or other women of colour) are seen as sluts who are not only obsessed with sex, but who are open to being touched and fucked by every single interested male on the planet. “No” isn’t in our vocabulary. ‘Sex in the City’ is frequently watched here, and provides a model of the typical white, Western woman as public fuck toilet. As a woman who is personally well-acquainted with assault in many countries, I am hyper-vigilant about men, regardless of colour, when they are near me. Nevertheless, I’m frequently surprised by men trying to objectify me, touch me or otherwise assault me in this country. When it happens in the classroom, I get really pissed off because I am not some random, nameless stranger men can rationalize abusing by ‘othering’ me, but a teacher who, according to culture, should be automatically given a modicum of respect. One of my quite young (24), white, female colleagues has told me that the sexual disrespect from males in her classes is quite frequent. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, she admits. I would have thought that being 43, authoritative, very confident, and not overly thin or super attractive would have done the trick, but alas, it appears no woman can escape misogyny. I don’t have a lot of advice for her other than to maintain as much professional distance as possible. She isn’t paid to be either their friend or fuck toy.
- I was asked either as a joke or in seriousness (I’m still not sure, to be honest) in front of a class of 40+ young men whether I could go on a date one of the student’s room mates. I can’t even imagine such a disgusting and disrespectful question being asked publicly of a female prof in a Western university classroom setting. So experiencing this in a Chinese classroom was an incredibly huge insult. Again, no Chinese teacher or foreign male teacher would be so disrespected here.
So in short, that was my first week of teaching. I’ve accepted that every time I leave my apartment, I am at risk. I’m constantly ogled, sometimes assaulted by local men and laughed at when I vocally oppose the assault. But even in my classroom, I’m disrespected and have to be very careful about the actions of my male students towards me.
A white, British, male colleague of mine can’t for the life of him understand why his health thrives in China, but mine is actually worse than when I live in the West. (I suffer chronic depression and anxiety, and I get sick frequently as a result.) He is a white male, the ultimate symbol of power in the world. White men here, as everywhere, are on the top of the heap. Unless rich, they do have fewer rights than Chinese men, of course, simply because working foreigners have fewer rights than say, Chinese tourists in our own countries, but foreign men can walk around in safety in China.
I, on the other hand, have discovered through years of experience in China, that I represent the universal whore – the white woman. Valued for skin colour, seen as animals rather than humans because of our varying eye and hair colours, viewed as sexually insatiable and omni-available thanks to American entertainment, and not taken seriously in any professional way whatsoever. My male acquaintance and I have had very different experiences. Women of other colours are also treated very poorly, but in different ways. Race and sex interact in different ways in different parts of the world, but one thing you can count on – women ALWAYS lose.
I don’t necessarily think that the hatred men have for women has either increased or decreased over the years. What appears to be the case (and one could say this holds for every aspect of societal evolution over long periods of time) is that how the hate manifests can appear to intensify. The hate levels and proportion of infected hater population can stay the same, but the manifestations of the hate can appear to escalate in horrificity. With globalization and improvement in modes of communication and information sharing, there has definitely been a change in the spread of hatred towards women.
A handful of years ago, whilst living in rural China, a local teacher explained to me that the internet made people bad. It is still a commonly held view in China that information censorship is a good and necessary thing. My immediate reaction was to oppose her view. I like freedom of speech despite that the principle does not yet serve the oppressed like it does oppressors. We just don’t live in a world where the principle is applied equally. Oppressors (men, religious people, straight people, breeders, etc) use freedom of speech to spew hatred and perpetuate violence, while those they oppress (women, atheists, lesbians and gays, non-breeders, etc) are often censored. And I think the definition of ‘speech’ is often twisted and abused in order to include and protect violent acts like pornography that serve to hurt the oppressed and make money for the dominant class.
Communication tools can be harmful and beneficial at the same time. Unlike the Chinese teacher, I don’t think there is a simplistic and direct, one-way, causal relationship between tools and people’s goodness or badness. That is not to say they don’t influence each other. They do. I would argue that there may be more harm than good being done, but then again, I don’t think any society in our world is set up to reward good behaviour to the extent that they do bad behaviour. That is Patriarchy, and it’s not a good system for most people. The internet was created as a tool to serve Patriarchy, and while some have managed to do good things with it, it still serves its masters: men.
Anyhow, back to the people.
Assholes existed before the internet was created. Awesome people existed before the internet was created. And then came the internet. Assholes became more assholish (perhaps a few stayed the same or reformed). Lots of people found ways to become assholes thanks to this thing called ‘relative anonymity’ – one key, defining element of the internet. And many awesome people became more awesome. Some people used the internet to learn and self-improve, or help isolated people organize and overcome various hardships. Other people found convenient and rewarding outlets for their hate and self-indulgence that they never had before, or found ways to make money off peddling hate. In short, like any other tool, it is impossible to label the internet as good or bad. It made some people better, had little real effect on several folks, and it made lots of people worse. And of course, people had an effect on the internet in a myriad of ways. Cause and effect are hard to discern.
Let’s get back to the woman-hate problem.
Woman hate has existed for a long, long time. The internet has provided a means for that hatred to manifest in disturbing ways. And these manifestations are colouring human interaction in the meat world, which then continues on to affect the online world. Now, the internet has:
a) provided a common, virtual space for men to meet and bond regardless of race, age or religion in a new kind of brotherhood of hate,
b) provided a platform for manifestos and other writings advocating for hate of and violence against women that can be accessed by anyone in the world. Unlike in previous times, ‘publishing’ is no longer limited to those who can write well or think well, or who are connected enough to find a respectable publishing outlet, In essence, any dickface can jizz online and be read by millions of other dickfaces,
c) increased men’s boldness and willingness to hurt women by allowing anonymous hordes of dudes to e-threaten or e-gang rape a woman who dares speak in public. The kind of repulsive hate speech you can easily find online is like nothing we have ever seen before. These dudes far outspew historic sex-based hate writers, such as de Sade. Previously, men had few places where they could go to bond with other men over rape and sexual violence (e.g., strip clubs) and were limited to private hate at home, in the office to a certain extent, or during the clandestine paid rape of a prostitute. Before the internet, men who couldn’t find support for their hate may have suppressed or localized their violence, and may have even questioned themselves, out of fear of repercussion and lack of support. But these days, group think and group acceptance has increased male boldness and made it easier to let loose on women violently, both online and off.
d) provides unlimited access to free or inexpensive depictions of horrific sexual violence (e.g., porn, ‘edgy photo art’ and BDSM sites) for many who never before had access, including young boys. The latter are getting their sex education primarily from sites fetishizing gruesome sexual violence against women and girls. And pairing this ‘learning’ with boners and orgasms (previously not possible in public, but now possible anonymously at home) is unnervingly effective.
There is plenty more to say on that, but I’ll stop at four.
On the positive side of things, the internet has:
a) allowed abused women who have been socially isolated by patriarchal structures such as marriage and poverty to find support, strength and the courage to escape in online support groups,
b) allowed women who haven’t found a community of like-minded women in the real world to find hope and support in online communities,
c) provided knowledge of and access to feminist literature that cannot be found in most libraries due to censorship of women writers/radical material or bias towards providing published penis’ pointless pontification,
d) allowed marginalized radical feminists an outlet and a voice in the form of blogs and web sites that they themselves can control. Men still try to attack them and derail them, but women can choose how much to interact or allow on their sites. They can also choose anonymity and still speak to promote positive change. This is impossible in the real world, and many women have stayed silent in the past due to very real, constant threats to their safety at the hands of men and sometimes patriarchy-supporting handmaidens,
And of course, there are other ways women benefit from the internet.
How does it balance out? Impossible to say, exactly. The positives are encouraging and do provide help to individuals, although I doubt women are taking advantage of it in the way they need to to effect real change on a societal level.
The negatives are disturbing, and I’d hazard a guess that one of a few things will eventually happen.
1) Violence against women will become so normalized that we’ll regress as a society and end up with a repressive something-or-other akin to what Margaret Atwood depicted in her classic novel or the way things went in Iran, post-Revolution.
2) Western men will become so addicted to and distracted by the pornification of women that more controlled and focused societies (aka China) will easily take over global dominance. China is no picnic in terms of women’s status, but they are definitely not as obsessed with porn and normalized, widespread depictions of rape as the West is.
3) Highly unlikely, but I dream – women will finally wake up, get out of their Bibles and off their dance poles and say, “Enough is enough. Time for revolution. Either you’re for human rights or you’re against ’em. Pick yer side!” and shoot the whole place up. Not for the imposition of another dominance structure such as matriarchy, but for liberation from sex-based oppression.
I root for #3, but I suspect #2 is the most likely scenario. As I mentioned in another post, I increasingly find myself in the position of having to explain the American porn and sex obsession to my Chinese undergrads, Masters and PhD students. It’s what they’re learning about and are confused about in Western entertainment.
I love the internet. My life would be incredibly different and much smaller without it. But I worry. It depresses me to no end that so many men have used such a valuable and amazing tool for the most disgraceful, shameful, boring and base of power fantasies.
Before I launch into my spiel, I’ll say one thing so everyone knows I’m an equal opportunity blame doler when it comes to pointing out shitty male behaviour. No country or culture is off the hook. Of course, the majority of people often claim moral superiority for their own country or culture and spend a lot of time pointing out the faults of other countries and cultures. And of those others, those upon whom the most blame is heaped are generally women. Women are always to blame for the way misogyny manifests in their country or culture. It’s easy to blame the powerless for the misdeeds of the powerful. So, in short:
- every country and culture hates women,
- the hate manifests in different ways,
- people are generally unable to own the bullshit that happens in their own backyard, preferring to point fingers at other backyards, and
- women are forced to take responsibility for the shitty things men do in said backyards.
Okay, that out of the way, let me move on to what I wanted to talk about.
For a long time now, I’ve lived in a different backyard. It is one that no matter how long I stay in or assimilate into, I will never be allowed to belong to. Monoracial countries are like that. And this particular monoracial country is China. I teach university in China – undergrads, Masters and PhD students. China is a rough place to be in a lot of ways. It has a poor track record in the human rights department. The locals are abused, and foreign workers have severely limited rights and often must put up with very strange and abusive treatment (I’ll save for another post my experience being chained into my college staff building at night.) The people are very racist, xenophobic, traditional, and oh yeah, they hate women. But as mentioned above, they don’t really see any of this, and similar to Americans, most can’t figure out why the world hates them.
And so we get to Americans. China has a love-hate relationship with the US. Personally, I think it’s a ‘study your enemy’ type of thing. There are things they envy about the US (e.g., capitalism), there are things they absolutely hate (e.g., gun violence) and there is a shit-ton of stuff they don’t understand and have developed stereotypes and half-truths about. Even the highly educated believe that what they see in American film and television is true. It is very much like Western people believing that all Chinese know kung fu and play the cello.
One of the things that has become disturbingly and increasingly more popular as a question or topic of discussion among the undergraduates as well as the post-graduate students is what they see as the American obsession with sex. I often get asked why this is so. I also get woman-blaming questions that boil down to ‘Why are Western women such slutty whores???’ and a lot of the male students want to hug, kiss or touch me, because of course, white women are increasingly seen around the world as communal property that will pretty much fuck anyone. We WANT everyone to touch us. Thanks American television and misogyny and dangerous/misguided Third Wave Feminism. Please note that white men are not treated this way. And different racial groups are treated in different ways. You can’t take models that apply in the West and have them work in the same way in other places. And I absolutely don’t want to minimize shitty treatment of non-Chinese women of other races here in China. I am not qualified to talk about what these women experience. Anyhow, female ‘white privilege’ will be talked about in a different post.
I address the subject of Western entertainment carefully. I definitely want to talk about what is happening and make sure that people do some deep thinking about these very important issues. I also like to introduce radical feminism anywhere and everywhere I can. I do see tiny feminist stirrings in a few of the young women I teach. I like to nurture that kind of human rights thinking.
I begin by telling people that hatred of women exists in every country and culture – educated Chinese are beginning to acknowledge and feel shame over the fact that as a culture they have selectively and deliberately aborted female fetuses and killed baby girls – so they can kind of get what I’m saying.
But woman-hate manifests in different ways, I tell them. It is all based on sex. I tell them that in the US, there are some similarities. For example, as in China, Americans fetishize female ‘purity’. But in the US, while baby girls might not be left to die somewhere en masse, society is inundated with pornography. (Pornography is illegal in China – in the US it is fucking ‘free speech’ and ‘art’.) Boys are taught that women exist only for sex and that sex is owed to boys. Rape is sexy shit, and secretly, girls love it. Girls are taught that they must remain pure, but at the same time, they must be as fuckable as possible. It is confusing and dehumanizing. And what you see in mainstream media – news, TV, and film – is evidence of this fuckability mandate. The burgeoning porn and violent porn industry is becoming the number one American export. Something to be proud of.
Anyhow, I use simpler words, but I get this message across to my Chinese students. I want them to see the truth that unites what happens in their country with what happens in the US and everywhere else. That truth being ‘woman hate’.
I also challenge their ideas about television and film. Most of my students tell me that they learn about American culture (meaning ‘all Western culture’) from what they watch. Most can’t afford to travel, so they learn from whatever materials they can get their hands on. So most educated Chinese take what they see on TV and in movies literally. Everyone is rich and beautiful and fucking is the most important thing in life. So I ask them, “Do you believe everything you see in Chinese TV and film? Does everyone do Kung Fu in China like Jackie Chan (Chan Kong-sang)?” They say, “Of course not! That’s crazy!” Then I ask, “Then why would you believe everything you see in American TV and film? Just like Chinese media, it is just entertainment.” That stops them. They think about it. And they realize that TV and film are not educational materials.
I hate being put in a position where I have to defend American culture – especially as a non-American, and especially as a feminist. Some things, I’m happy to talk about. I did post-graduate education in the US and many of my most excellent human-rightsy, hippie friends are American. I have good memories of living there, and I love many things about being there. I’ll talk about volunteer work and hippies and human rights protests. These are positive things about the US. The entertainment world is NOT one of those things, however, and I think it’s only getting worse. Having seen and experienced the impact in developing countries of the mainstream shit that is churned out in the US, and having been at the receiving end of ‘white chicks are rapeable sluts’ in Western and developing countries (which I think is a very serious outcome of what is going on in popular culture), I worry. I worry a lot. And I truly hope these American ‘values’ are not adopted and promulgated elsewhere.
The only thing I can do is make sure dialogue occurs and try to get people to think on a deeper level about what misogyny is and the power it has to destroy all cultures.
I constantly lament the downward spiral our world seems to be taking with regard to female status and treatment. I really, truly don’t believe women are better off now than they were at any time in the past. In many arenas, women are much worse off.
What’s the problem?
We are still missing a proportional number of women at the helm in every single area of life. When women aren’t the decision-makers, women suffer. It is very simple, very obvious, and actually very easy to solve. But only if you are working on a rational playing field with rational people. With men, it is never rational. It is privilege. Entitlement. Not rationality or fairness. And therein lies the problem.
I’m not a tabloid or magazine reader, and I’m generally not ‘up’ on entertainment, but I ran across an article on one of the more fabulous female actors of our time: Emma Thompson. Talented, versatile and funny, Emma was an actor I grew up watching. Perhaps it was because she is British, but she didn’t bring to the table the pornulation that Americans force upon their female actors. She was just a pleasure to watch
And very recently, she has spoken out about misogyny in her line of work. Specifically, she talks about how things have gotten worse for women in Hollywood. She thought things were better and were moving in the right direction when she was starting out.
When I look at it now, it is in a worse state than I have known it, particularly for women, and I find that very disturbing and sad.
I’d been thinking the same thing – there is so little that is watchable these days – but it’s nice to hear confirmation from inside the penis, I mean, the industry.
Emma, who at 56, despite her great experience and talent, recently landed a part as a 77-year-old prostitute in a film. [Readers: don’t get sidetracked with knee-jerk defenses of prostitution and how I’m denigrating women everywhere – this is not what is at issue here, so grow up.] Why can’t a 77-year-old actress take that part? Why isn’t Emma landing spectacular leading roles?
Oh yes, the old intersection of misogyny and ageism. Actors who are 56-year-old women aren’t watchable (what???) despite being seasoned actors, experts in their craft.
Entertainment is a brutal industry. It’s very much a sausage club. Men’s voices show up in the writing (even women writers must conform to male points-of-view to get a job) and men control what gets produced. Not having women at the decision-making levels ensures that misogyny is only going to get worse and worse as porn-addled, privileged male viewers get bored with the current level of rape and violence they consume. The actresses get younger, more pornulated, and more violated both on- and off-screen. And the more violence and degradation there is, there is corresponding decrease in respect and humanization of women in the real world. Women are losing their voices more than ever before. And worse, they internalize the message and don’t question it (unless they don’t care about working anymore!)
My question is: where are all the viewers who have had enough and actually want to watch talent and have had enough of stifling misogyny? Misogyny makes life boring for everyone, and hurtful to women.
I teach university in China, and I’m getting an increasing number of questions and comments from undergrads to PhD students about the American obsession with sex. I tell my students that hatred of women exists in all countries/societies, and that men express their hatred in different ways. In the US, the current way for men to hate women is through hyper-sexualizing and degrading them. And further, American men give special pats on the head to women who have turned their subjugation into a fun, feminist choice. Basic psychological conditioning – it works!
In China, they show their hatred in other ways. It’s still all about sex, but it manifests in different ways. Hatred of women is universal – not just at Universal.