Category Archives: Patriarchy
I know if I read the title I’ve assigned to this post, alarm bells would go off. Rape. I’d be waiting for the rape story. I am a lone woman and rape has never been far from my mind since I was a teenager and was alone in most of what I did from day to day. I learned from an early age what it meant to be a female that did most things in her life alone – sometimes by choice, sometimes, not. Tracy Chapman, one of my absolute favourite folk singers, unfortunately grouped us girls into ‘good girls’ – those who moved around quickly in groups – and ‘fast girls’ – those of us who walk alone and who got raped and beaten and disappeared by men and boys. There is almost the implication that the latter are looking for trouble, and deserve what they get. I kind of hated her for that. I’m neither fast nor bad, and I certainly neither look for trouble nor do I deserve all the rapes and assaults by men of all races I’ve experienced as a lone woman and especially as a white woman. I love you, Tracy, but fuck you.
[Brief rant, get ready, or get out now while you can;)]
Many of you are likely partnered and you have no idea what it is like to have to do every fucking thing in your life alone. It’s not always a choice to be alone, but neither do I want to have to call someone every time I want or need to leave the house, ffs. [I was told endlessly in China after being stalked for weeks and threatened with rape by a black man on my university campus, that I should never leave my apartment by myself. Not possible, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t because I wasn’t the criminal.] The non-alone don’t know what it is like to have to plan every single thing you do around what could possibly happen to you because you are alone. If you travel, you are likely travelling with a male master, or children, or other family members, or maybe a friend or friends. Mothers bitch constantly about the struggles of being a mother, but they are so fucking protected by their brats. They have no idea #!$@ If a rapist or thief or kidnapper is going to target a woman, who is he going to pick – the bitch with the litter of pups with her or the lone female? Which will be easier to deal with? Men are opportunists, picking off the ones no one will miss. Breeders don’t know real danger even though they think they do or they wax poetic about how ‘dangerous’ things are for them. They’ve chosen to be mastered, to fit into society, to get the economic, legal and social tit squeeze and ass pat that society and their family gives them for spreading their legs, so the only real danger they experience is from the master they enslave themselves to. There is a lot of coat-tail privilege one gets when signing on for motherhood and/or hetero slavery. I say coat-tail because no woman is truly privileged. I stand by that. But you become privilege adjacent simply by orbiting a man or using your cunt the way it was ordained by males. When you are alone – whether it is because you know you aren’t mentally healthy enough to have a lesbian partnership thanks to years of mom-abuse and the subsequent distrust you have for women you make yourself vulnerable to, or whether you just never met someone you could envision partnering with, or whether you just don’t believe in the male-designed concept of long-term monogamous entrapment – you have a very different experience of the world. Despite what heteros and especially breeders say, lone women don’t have it easier. The so-called freedom comes at a massive price. You are economically much less well off than the average breeder and hetero enslaved. Jeez, I was looking at the median family incomes that idiot American liberals published a week or two ago to try to show how whites and blacks are different economically, and I was drooling at the median black income. I’ve never even come close – and I have 3.5 university degrees. Being white and female and not attached to a male always has meant fewer opportunities and less pay and more expectations that I’ll do volunteer work or work for free – I think the assumption is that all white women have husbands and don’t need to work (um, 1950’s much…?) therefore you don’t need to take them seriously in the job market. I probably have gotten pushed or guilted into working for free more than any non-white woman or any male, for that matter. (I just was told again recently that I should find some unpaid work. Why do I have to work for free but everyone else deserves a pay cheque???) Further, for some reason – probably the same one I just mentioned, I am always harassed for money by a segment of the population (all non-white men, and even some non-white women) that has more earning potential than me, even with less education. So being alone and a lez and white and a woman sucks the big one economically. And you are always a target for men and boys physically and sexually. Even indoors. Even in your own home or what passes for one. But outdoors??? It is always there.
Rant finished. Thanks for persevering.
So “A Lone Woman in the Woods”. For me, it smacks of a rape story, but today, no. This is a story of positivity, the beauty of simplicity, the power of a lone woman and the collective power of women through the ages – power that has been stolen by men – that that lies waiting in all of us still if we wish to harness it once again.
Today, I hiked a redwood and eucalyptus forest that lies a mile from where I am staying temporarily. I am Canadian and although I detest my country on so many levels, there is something essentially Canadian that lies in me that is tapped when I go to forests. Most of us don’t live near the ocean even though so much of our land is bordered by ocean. The greatest percentage of our population is lake- and river-situated. And we are tree people too. The forests define us. The ocean is mildly interesting, but inspires a healthy fear in me. It is a river or lake and the forests that typically go with them that speak to me on a primal Canadian and human and womanly level. Some of my relatives are freshwater (Great Lakes) fisherfolk, and I myself have spent much quality time travelling by canoe, camping in untouched forest land, and fishing. So entering this beautiful forest today was pure bliss. The thought of men and rape and intimidation and violence, as usual, entered my mind and settled in at the back, on the edges. But I allowed the smells and colours and textures and the history of women and my people take over.
Women have always been stewards of the forest, and nature in general, in the past. [Sorry, aboriginal North American peoples don’t have the corner market on nature stewardship, as much as modern Canadians and Americans are brainwashed to believe. Women from all cultures have always had a healthy respect for nature until men overruled them and ‘civilized’ them.] Before men stole medicine from my foremothers and banned them from knowledge, branding them witches and devil worshippers, imprisoning them, torturing them, tearing their female parts off or apart, killing them, and destroying or erasing years of wisdom, they were the Wise Women. The healers, the midwives, the abortionist-saviours, the repositories of forest wisdom, the herb and mushroom collectors, the pain relievers. Men became suspicious, then felt threatened, and finally said NO. Women are not allowed to have the independence of body and mind that exists separate from male control and that is deeply rooted in nature, the forests and water bodies. Men decided the forests were not to be cherished and guarded, but exploited – much as women’s bodies were exploited. Men brought death to the forest as they brought death to women through rape and endless pregnancy and ignorance and house-bound slavery. They cut the trees down. They burned down forests to deprive enemies of their bounty. They used women’s bodies and forests to fuel endless wars. To no end. Completely useless and pointless.
Much of that body of medical knowledge has been lost to Western women. Some groups of women were luckier. The knowledge they collected lived on in Traditional Chinese Medicine, for example. But the Wise Women of western countries were decimated and replaced by the male need to cut and bleed and dissect and drug, and although their modern ‘medicine’ lives on today, it creates more illness than it cures. Older cultures sneer at Western Medicine, but it is male medicine. Our ancient wisdom – our female wisdom was mostly erased. I’d bet that we did a lot of things better.
This lost history impressed upon me as I hiked unmolested through the forest. I breathed in the scent of trees and sun and wildflowers. I only ran across two people – both women – and I wondered if they felt the collective female history in the background. Probably not. Heterosexuality beats sensitivity out of you, in my experience. But I will be going to that forest every day for the next 10 days that I will be in this area.
Jane Siberry, one of my favourite Canadian singers, was the background music for my journey today. I’ve had the privilege to hear her sing three times in small venues in Vancouver back in the day. Two of her songs have been featured in the beautiful all-woman death-ritual scenes on the L-Word (Anytime) and Six Feet Under (Calling All Angels – thanks for the reminder, Radfemspiraling). The song I heard today in my mind and heart was Bound by the Beauty. It is such an essentially Canadian song and a song of woman-joy. And the nature-bonding is an aspect of Canadianism that I can get on board with. Enjoy the lyrics and videos (clear studio/audio version and a live version that is less clear) at the bottom.
I’m bound by the fire
I’m bound by the beauty
I’m bound by desire
I’m bound by the duty
I’m coming back in 500 years
And the first thing I’m gonna do
When I get back here
Is to see these things I love
And they’d better be here, better be here
Better be here
And first I’m going to find a forest
And stand there in the trees
And kiss the fragrant forest floor
And lie down in the leaves
And listen to the birds sing
The sweetest sound you’ll hear
And everything the dappled
Everything the birds
Everything the earthiness
Everything the verdant, the verdant, the verdant
The verdant dream
Just an intro
Sorry so silent. There is so much to write. And this is the perfect time for writing. There is nothing to do, and I’m trapped in a true shithole: America. Luckily, not New York – I feel bad for those fuckers. Truly. That shit storm could have been prevented. And it is getting worse. And it is entirely possible, given the true lack of leadership, brain power, and coordination between states, that the US is going to see even harder times during what was fast becoming a serious problem due to income disparity, housing shortages, climate change problems, and a low point for women. Perhaps my new series on the American Downfall, which had been brewing in my mind for a while was aptly timed.
But let’s get into some particulars. I want to take a look at three very special narcissistic psychopaths who have more power than anyone deserves and who run completely unopposed in a way that matters.
China – President Xi Jinping
Luckily/unluckily, I have a shit ton of experience with the Chinese, how they think about things, how they operate, and how they destroy people from the inside out. I lived there in a surreal hell cumulatively for nearly a decade – a hell where you constantly feel like you are fucked no matter what you do or what you say. They are masters of psychological punishment and retribution, and experts on ‘spin’. As I have mentioned before, I had a Chinese leader at a college I worked and lived at look me in the eye and say with a straight face that they locked us in our building at night for our own safety.
Throughout history, the Chinese government has perpetrated numerous crimes against humanity – often unhidden crimes spun as ‘for your own good’ measures – and haven’t ever once taken responsibility for a single one, even when the hard cold truth is laid out before them. A thousand years of foot-binding is never talked about – it is suppressed women’s history, after all. Who cares? They also don’t teach their children that China bought and owned African slaves for hundreds of years. My students often like to talk about Americans like they are evil for their history of slavery, but the fact is that black flesh was bought and sold by Arabs and Asians long before even white Europeans and later, American men, got in on the action. And speaking of criticizing Americans, please note that while the US is good at incarcerating people, the Chinese are best at incarcerating and killing people. China kills more prisoners per year than all the other countries of the world combined. They don’t talk about it, though. Suppressed information. It is impressive, this ongoing cover-up of history and facts, but you definitely want to admire it from outside their sphere of influence.
It is not possible, however, to live outside their latest influence because the sphere is the entire globe – the COVID-19 pandemic. They may not have deliberately created this situation, but they certainly facilitated it. And they are squarely in denial mode, and are still spreading lies throughout their population that the virus didn’t start in China. I have several former students checking in with me on Chinese social media to smugly inform me that a) the virus actually started in Italy or the US (or whatever the rumour of the day spread by the state-owned media is over there), and b) China is superior at containing the virus. What they don’t say to me is that China has been superior at exporting the virus. And they have also been superior (as they have been for years) at hiding information, failing to report data, and intimidating and punishing people who have tried to expose the truth or criticize the government (which are seen as the same thing over there). Like everywhere, there are good, honest people in China, but they don’t survive well under an oppressive regime.
Looking at China’s recent history, what is happening now is nothing new. The previous president, Hu Jintao, was a typical Chinese leader now famous for suppressing information about SARS for over a month, holding the doctor who leaked the information to the world in prison for 45 days. Luckily, SARS only spread to 26 countries. I lived in Taiwan, a hotspot, at that time – 2003. And I was continuously told that the US had concocted the virus and deliberately infected China with it. Same Chinese tactics – blame someone else, refuse all responsibility.
Xi Jinping has followed suit, but he is a hell of a lot worse than President Hu. Admired by the populace as a president “working to stamp out corruption”, he has ended up implementing measures to reduce government accountability and transparency (not that the Chinese government was ever either of the two), and ensure more corruption. Xi named himself lifelong
dear leader recently, and showers his cronies with rewards. He is possibly just as powerful as former notorious Chinese dictator, Mao Zedong. Xi has managed to wage a war on Canada due to the Huawei debacle, even killing an incarcerated and already sentenced Canadian, as revenge for Canada arresting the multi-millionaire Huawei CFO and keeping her under house arrest in Vancouver (she has a few million-dollar homes in my country). As a professional bully, Xi has also forced several international airlines to stop saying that Taiwan is a country. American Airlines, Delta and United, Lufthansa and numerous other airlines have kneeled to suck Chinese dick. Pathetic. In the last little while, he has imprisoned over a million Chinese muslims in concentration camps – sorry ‘reeducation facilities’ – Islam is seen as a mental health problem (I think all religion is a mental health problem, but incarceration or conversion can’t fix that problem…). Xi has cracked down even further on free speech, especially on the internet. He employs millions of people to police the internet and thousands are arrested every year for saying the wrong thing. The online presence of a gay and lesbian group at a university where I was living was recently shut down, students were interrogated. And now he has become the man responsible of the spread of the Coronavirus to, let me check… 180 countries (as of today, April 1st – and that’s no joke). Note to President Xi: you can cover up rape and murder in your country, but you can’t hide an epidemic, no matter how many scientists you arrest.
Classic Chinese thinking (Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesperson, Geng Shuang)
“China didn’t start it. China is not responsible for it either.”
Oh, and by the way, speaking of Chinese power and free speech suppression, we have: the Spanish flu, German measles, Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome (MERS), and more, but we can’t call COVID-19 the Chinese flu or Wuhan flu, despite the fact that China, and specifically Wuhan, is the origin of this disease. Stop coddling the psychopaths. It reminds me of Saturday Night Live – long-running American comedy show notorious for making fun of almost anyone and everything. I grew up watching it. I have noticed that President Xi is the only major political leader who is off-limits, and China is never joked about. As I’ve been predicting for years now, China has begun its empire, and the US is on the way out.
USA – President Donald Trump
And Trump is helping the US on its bizarre downward spiral. Only in the US, a country that claims to uphold freedom like no other country in history or in the modern world, can someone like Trump be freely elected. Only in the US, a country with the power to impeach leaders, can someone like Trump remain in office. This is a stupid man. An ignorant man. A man who doesn’t understand much, let alone science. A man who cares more about Twitter and his television presence than actual politics and the people he has been elected to protect and serve. A man who was recorded making rape comments about women and who has been accused of raping, attempting to rape and sexually assaulting numerous times since 1989. His rape comments have been recorded and made public and still he remains. Women have been surprisingly complacent about what this man stands for. Knitting fucking hats for fuck sake. Instead of demanding the recall of this human excrement. You poor brainwashed women. You’ve allowed men to shut you up, derail you, and make you believe you are free when in fact you are no better off than women in other woman-hating countries/cultures.
Rapey Trump quotes:
“I moved on her like a bitch.”
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
To me, that is his worst quality, and I think he should be put to death because of rape – like any and all men in the world. But if his deep-seated misogyny doesn’t move you, there is plenty of other shit to make you question his ability to lead effectively.
The man is stupid. I was flying within the US a few years ago, and an elderly American couple that was sitting beside me asked me what I though of Trump. Now, being a Canadian, I am pretty polite and mild-mannered, and I gave some non-answer meant to keep me unassaulted. I am so used to dealing with crazies and I am so used to being verbally (and sexually and physically) attacked for being a lone white woman (WWWW – walking while a white woman), that I just try not to rock the boat (or plane) unless I know I can escape. Long story short, the couple ended up being anti-Trump, and I finished our Trump discussion with an analysis that I though the man saw what he was doing as some sort of game. He is used to being on television where nothing is real and everything is drama. And I really think he extends this little fantasy life into the real world. The presidency is just one more game to him. But he is also stupid. I can’t say this enough times. Seriously.
I am not sure why he is allowed to speak in public. His own party is starting to distance themselves (see this article, from The Atlantic, written by a Republican). And following every statement that he makes, it seems like member of his entourage needs to go back and do damage control, placating the enraged, correcting erroneous ‘facts’, and dialing back fantastical promises and predictions. I mean, history is riddled with insane and/or stupid MEN with too much power doing and saying stuff and people having to clean up after them. And often these types of leaders, if left unchecked, can spell the downfall of a society.
If you want a clear sign that the US is falling, this is it. I would argue that two terms of Bush Junior was the writing on the wall – I mean seriously, he was dumb and aggressive and offensive and did huge damage to the reputation of the US, but Americans wanted him not once, but fucking TWICE. [Does everyone remember that hilarious, but significant, televised press conference where that Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at Bush’s head??? If that doesn’t say dunzo for America, I don’t know what would…] The acceptance of Trump doesn’t surprise me one bit, and the complacency exhibited by ignorant Americans is just a death rattle in my ears. Americans, I’m embarrassed for you, but you made your bed.
Now, getting to the virus. Trump has made the mistake of turning this virus into a blame game with Xi. They are both narcissistic psychopaths with testoterone poisoning. Xi began the coronavirus pandemic when he suppressed vital information about what was going on and thus releasing the virus out into the world at large. He is 100% responsible for that, but Trump has devastated America by behaving ignorantly, ignoring medical professionals, putting on his “We’re number one!” dumb American act (this virus can’t touch us, we’re so fucking powerful routine), and failing to take necessary precautions. So now, at this writing, the US is the most infected country in the world with nearly 204,000 cases. And it will get much worse. And Trump is fully to blame for this. My own country, despite sharing the longest border in the world, is weathering things well. We paid attention to past epidemics, we are responding intelligently and promptly. I just hope that American ignorance doesn’t destroy us too and that Trudeau doesn’t decide to suck Trump’s dick. Myself, I am stuck here in the US. I can’t go home, and if I could, I don’t know if I would at this point. Travelling ups your chances for infection, and I’d hate to import and infect my fellow countrywomen. I’ll write a different post on the shitty treatment a legal foreigner faces in the US at this time…
Honestly, now that I’m back in the US, I don’t see a lot of differences between the Chinese and Americans. They share so many qualities. The leaders do too. Both places are terrible for women. Both places perpetuate ignorance, but as I’ll write about in another post, I really feel that Americans celebrate ignorance on a whole different level in comparison to the Chinese or anyone else on the planet, for that matter. Ignorance is entertainment and it is accepted. Chinese just pass the buck, or the RMB, I should say. It’s an excuse machine.
“It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear”
Russia – President Vladimir Putin
Where the fuck is Putin? And what is actually going on in Russia? Now, I’m going to admit that I don’t have much experience at all with Russians, and I have never lived in, let alone been to Russia. So I can’t speak to the Russian mind or way of doing things. They do have that same bizarre, bastardized, communist mentality that you see in other places like China. But Putin has put out a different image than Xi. But I included him here because he is a major player, and he is a narcissistic psychopath like Xi and Trump, regardless of his politics.
So, what is going on in Russia? Does anyone know? If you go by the little that Putin has said, he is behaving like a typical communist leader. Everything is rah-rah-rah. The government is fucking amazing. Everyone and everything is fine. Black out bad news that paints the government in a bad light or that might force the leader to take responsibility for their actions. If I look at my trusty Coronavirus map, there are only 2,777 cases in Russia. This seems odd in a country that borders 14 other countries, including China and with populated areas close to virus-overrun Europe. They also have 144 million people. How can they have so few cases? One explanation is that this is how communist regimes work. Cover up the truth, etc. But Russia also has a crappy health care system, and word is starting to get out that things are much worse than reported. One of the major problems with Russia’s data suppression moves is that Russian travel has not been restricted. They aren’t seen as a risk zone, they haven’t been quarantined or put on flight ban lists. And the result is that the general feeling among the population is that Putin is a hero and the virus will sidestep Russia because of it.
The common Russian view:
“I don’t believe in coronavirus.”
Now, it just came out yesterday that a doctor who just tested positive for the virus met with Putin unprotected. They shook hands. Moscow has been put on lockdown for a week (actually a week-long paid vacation), and the government has implemented a ID system similar to that described to me by my former students in China. They will have to register and show ID if they want to go out to procure food. But unfortunately, much of Russia is either doing business as usual or only has partial lockdown. Let’s see what happens.
Andrei Kolesnikov, political analyst, Moscow:
“It’s a clear message that we are better equipped due to our political system. [Putin] is sure that he is more efficient and this is a case to demonstrate his superiority in that sense.”
Can we fuck off with the politics and just work together to solve the problem?
No, a resounding no. This is how men work. May the best psychopath win!
Stay safe and smart, ladies. And stay away from men if you can. They are always filthy germ-carriers, no matter the disease. We know this from personal observation and from published research. As an example, among educated people in the workplace, “only 31% of men and 65% of women washed their hands” after going to the toilet. If you are going to catch the C-virus, it will likely be a man infecting you. What’s new?
I’ve spent all of my adult life trying to foster sisterhood through various means in different settings. Despite it being something I have always craved and needed, it has always been, continues to be, and likely will always be a Sisyphean endeavour.
I’ve come to realize that not only are all females around the world trained from birth to mistrust, hate and betray other females in order to receive crumbs of power and affection mingled with abuse from males, but the vast majority of women have no interest in changing this sad and unnatural dynamic.
The system is such that any woman who seeks to fight against it is more likely to be destroyed by other women than by the masters (men) themselves. Men design the system and pull the strings. The women do the dirty work, destroying one another through isolation and the subsequent stripping of power that can only come through the strength in numbers that a sisterhood would offer. It’s a slick move on the part of men. Despite being the puppet masters, most women see the cock proxy evil that women do to other women as evidence of female cruelty rather than brainwashing and fear of repercussions. All evil regimes have been run this way. Nazis, for example, put Jewish representatives in charge of the day-to-day abuse of fellow Jews in the ghettos and camps to avoid getting their hands dirty and create mistrust among members of the group itself. Under any such regime based on fear and violence, the victims then focus on the traitors within their own class, learn to mistrust one another, seek to betray one another in order to gain favour with and avoid punishment from the master class, and all the while, the true powers that be continue on reaping the benefits, tsk-tsk’ing over the pettiness and ‘innate’ nastiness of the underclass or slave class. I mean seriously, how often have you heard men comment on the petty cruelty of how women treat each other? And they are correct in so far as it is the only way women can interact with each other ‘safely’ under Patriarchal rule.
So, how are women isolated from one another? How is sisterhood discouraged? How do women pick on one another in order to curry favour with their be-penised overlords? In a system built on sex-based discrimination, isolation is tied to female deviation from sex-oriented norms. The less you follow traditional sex role requirements, the more you are isolated from other women and the less power and voice you have. Thus, not using your vagina or uterus, or following the rules that
a god or nature men and men alone have laid out for us is grounds for dismissal and hate. Men already create isolation for women based on race, but of course, as we all know, race is a discrimination that arises solely from sexism and the male coveting and control of pussy and uteri within one’s group and the punishment of men of other groups through the pussy and uteri that other group owns. It’s all about woman-hate and without it, there is no racism. Women bear the burden of racism and the blame for racism. Men of different races are more likely to bond over woman-hate than women of different races are to bond over rape and other woman-torture by men. Sisterhood across race is hard to achieve as a result. Thanks to patriarchal design.
But back to traditional pussy-use and the punishment of women who rebel by women who comprise the cowardly, brainwashed majority. And yes, there is no bravery in complying with what men want. Remember that. To chalk hating and destroying other women and engaging in pro-Patriarchy, anti-woman rituals and traditions up to ‘survival’ is bullshit and apologism at its worst. Call it what it really is: cowardice and ignorance through and through.
While ultimately, men are responsible for turning women into woman-haters, I do hold women responsible for what they do to others. Being abused is never an excuse for ‘paying it forward’ to people who don’t deserve your hate. I’d much rather see women attacking men than other women. But alas, that is not the situation.
Despite what you may think, there is no group of women more hated and isolated than the childless, especially the childless by choice. Non-breeding is the absolute worst crime a woman can commit in any society as it is a direct denial of the accepted definition of woman as Cunt-on-Legs and as Uterus. To refuse to use the vagina and uterus as traditionalists mandate is to somehow deny womanhood and scare the living shit out of men and the women who service them. The childless woman can be partially forgiven if she is physically unable to have children. Her crime is usually accompanied by constant pleas for forgiveness on the basis that she “wishes she could have children” and she “loves children so, so much”. But those women who choose not to breed for whatever reason? They are deemed deserving of unspeakable punishment on several levels, and this is true in all societies, all cultures and in every race. Her choice renders her not just sub-human, but non-human. Unnatural. Selfish. Demonic. Evil. Suspect. A destroyer of cultures and races. Someone who deprives men of their birthright. And an uppity bitch who denigrates the sacred, mystical, goddess-like status of motherhood. I can tell you from a lifetime of tedious, repetitive experience that the cruelty and dehumanization done to non-breeding women by breeding women is constant, even though breeding women often try to paint themselves as the ultimate victims. Breeding women have much more power and acceptance and social, legal and economic rewards than non-breeding women, even when they are horrible, neglectful and/or abusive mothers who became pregnant by accident, who hate children, or who had children because they want unconditional love from a powerless someone who can’t escape them (at least for a handful of years). I’ve experienced a lifetime of a parade of cast-iron pots calling a stainless steel kettle black.
Most non-breeders-by-choice also beg for forgiveness like the officially barren, but they also tend to have the mindset instilled in them through brainwashing from birth that they are selfish. I went through this myself. I used to apologize to breeders, if you can believe it, by telling them “I’m too selfish to be a mother.” I feel sick to my stomach when I remember these masochistic sessions where the breeder would look down her nose at me, and I would show my shame and embarrassment at my clear immaturity and general horribleness. I realize now that choosing not to breed is the opposite of selfish, especially because I am crystal clear on the many selfless reasons I have chosen not to breed. And further, life has been so much harder in so many ways that breeders cannot contemplate, and will make old age extraordinarily difficult. Data do show that single, childless, elderly women tend to be among the poorest and most in danger in any society. Men in the same predicament are almost always taken care of by some woman/women and are economically better off. Women either tend not to expect help (especially if they are brainwashed into believing they are selfish bitches) or receive offers of help from men or women (especially if society believes they are selfish bitches). Men are always taken care of regardless of their choices in life or how much abuse they dish out.
Non-breeding women don’t benefit in the work world like breeding and non-breeding men do. They are still women, and are treated as such, but without the social, legal and economic rewards of motherhood and often marital status. They don’t get promotions or higher pay, even if they have more education or experience. They don’t get equivalent, paid time off, say, to take a class that breeding women get for maternity leave. I would love equivalent time off to benefit myself (not a vacation, but an academic sabbatical, say) in the way that breeding women do and have my job waiting for me when I get back. Data show that employers (especially female employers) don’t trust non-breeding women and don’t want to hire them as they are ‘unnatural’ in some way. I can’t count how many times I’ve shown up for a new, professional job only to be asked if I have children right from the start. No one asks me about my actual achievements, how hard I busted my ass for my stellar academic achievements, or my actual contributions to society. I’ve never received a pile of gifts or been thrown a party for any of my three university degrees or other real achievements or contributions to society. No, a woman’s vaginal ‘achievements’, even if they are ‘achieved’ when passed out drunk or done standing up in a bathroom stall, are the only important thing of note in the workplace and warrant gifts and congratulations from the workplace, family and society. My teenaged pregnant sister knocked up by a drug dealer managed to score years of government welfare as well as three high-yield baby showers. I never received a single gift for busting my ass during 10 years of university. My sister now owns a house in an expensive city, has four kids and a husband, and a sweet high-paying union job with a pension, and I make $12,000 per year, with no retirement or pension in sight… I will literally be working until I die, and that is not an exaggeration.
After answering the vagina question that I don’t have children, I am put into that “piece of shit” category. Non-breeding women are often given the harder and crappier jobs, and in some professions, the more dangerous jobs, as well as longer hours for the same pay as their lives are seen as valueless – no one is depending on them, therefore their lives are worth nothing. They are often expected to cover for breeding female workers when the latter take off to deal with child problems. The former don’t receive extra pay for doing extra work, and the latter don’t lose pay for skipping out for personal business.
To conclude, the very word ‘childless’ is itself discriminatory and isolating to women, as if not having a child means you are less, missing or lacking something. Child-free is a newly adopted term that women in this situation have reacted with. I’m not sure what the correct way of seeing it is. I’m not sure I care all that much. I just wish I were treated with as much respect as breeding women, and that these insecure and venomous people would realize that they live on the top of the shit heap where women are forced to live, but seem to accept.
Femininity and Attractiveness
When women eschew beauty rituals, they are punished. They are punished more by women than men. Honestly, despite what tabloids say, all women can score a man if they are not picky. Men will literally fuck anything. See this post if you don’t believe me. And weird fetishes are almost exclusively the domain of men. If you have something gross or weird or unappealing or embarrassing about you, there is a man or group of men out there who will get off on your issue and will fuck you silly. You do not have to be beautiful to get laid. There is no such status as ‘incel’ for women. Men talk loudly about perfect 10’s, in order to keep women feeling insecure and distracted and diverting limited resources into stupid shit, but the reality is that as long as they are not expected to treat you as human or equal (and really, most women are willing to accept being treated as sub-human – that is how we are brainwashed), it really doesn’t matter what you look like.
So, if you are not complying with the perfect 10 femininity bullshit that men don’t actually care about, most of the punishment you will get will come from women who do comply. Even among feminists online, there are constant, insane and nasty wars between women who comply with femininity and who are ironically super insecure about their real appearance, and actual feminists who can’t believe so many women are still so brainwashed. The number of women who say they are feminists and that complying with brutal and degrading femininity rituals and submissive behaviour is a matter of ‘survival’ or (for fuck sake) an actual feminist act is saddening and maddening. These women, even feminists, will attack other women relentlessly for even questioning woman-hating behaviour. Honestly, men must laugh. Women spend so much energy punishing each other for things that in reality don’t matter that much to men. Despite what men might say, they’ll still make use your vagina even if you don’t shave your pudendum or your legs.
On a more serious note, women have made such an industry out of perpetuating femininity rituals, that little changes in places that matter, such as workplaces. If women could let go of this idiocy, women might actually move forward professionally with so much more mental energy to devote to their betterment than to stupid stuff that doesn’t matter to anyone. As a woman who doesn’t feminize, almost all of my punishment and abuse has come from women. I wrote a post on this type of situation here, where all of my female students criticized my appearance when asked for personal suggestions (note: I didn’t ask specifically for suggestions on my appearance). The male students, interestingly didn’t comment at all on my appearance, not that males are innocent. They have other things they do to degrade me and other women. Women just tend to be responsible for most of the petty punishments and criticisms and trying to force women to participate in their own slavery to men.
It’s hard to determine the order of worst lady-offences. The worst one is easy, as I mentioned. Not having children is the absolute worst crime a woman can commit. Lesbianism is Number 2 as long as it is paired with non-conformity to femininity. A lot of lesbians are still huge woman haters and adopt whore-face (perform femininity). Some try to call it ‘survival’, which is lame bullshit or a ‘feminist act’, which is dumb bullshit. Seriously? Wearing lipstick and heels is not a feminist act. It is slave behaviour that gets you head pats, and if you are a lesbian, performing femininity is an act of cowardice that serves only to let you ‘pass’. I’ve read feminine lesbians who criticize bisexuals for the same issues that apply to them. Bisexuality – a label I clung to for years before realizing a) I am not attracted to men, and b) it was ridiculous in an age where sexuality is political, despite the fact that it shouldn’t be an issue at all – lets women ‘pass’ in a society that rewards heterosexuality, and gets lesbians raped, beaten or killed. You can be a lezzer when you need lesbians to approve of you and then switch over when you’re in danger. Whether you agree or not (who cares…?), it’s the equivalent of a political flip-flop. Lesbians who feminize are essentially doing the same thing. Femininity performance is a political decision in a world that rewards cock-pleasing, and that shouldn’t be an issue at all. The only reason sexuality and femininity are even issues, and political ones at that, are because men exist and women’s status (which is always on the slave continuum) is tied to the forced belief that their very lives are dependent on how and whether they conform on these issues.
Some lesbians can’t hide, even if they put a dress on (think k.d. lang, for example). I absolutely don’t like the term ‘butch’ as it often goes with a version of woman-hate that requires the same feminine/masculine dichotomy that men demand, but I’ll use it here as people know what it refers to. Butch lesbians and lesbians who can’t hide their gayness under a layer of whore paint and silk are punished. They are punished by men, but they are also punished relentlessly by women who cowardly conform and who serve men. They are excluded from how women describe the range of womanhood expression. They are held in suspicion and women will assume something is wrong with them because they aren’t sporting pumps and push-up bras and making out with dudes. They are excluded from television and film, except when serving as a joke or predator (2-dimensional roles served up by men and woman-hating women who desperately want a job in a male-dominated field). Women fear and hate their own vaginas, in general, so to be faced with a woman who so clearly doesn’t have the same fears and hates must be terrifying. But overt lesbians also remind us that heterosexuality is not natural for women; they hold the mirror up, and we react with fear of what we are missing (peace, safety, love) when we erroneously choose men and a life of consensual rape and servitude. We react to being terrified by lashing out, as long as the target is deemed safe enough to attack. Women seldom attack the true threat (men) because men are more likely retaliate (beat, kill, rape) than women are. Lesbians are easy to attack and punish. (More on this in this post and this post.)
Yet again this week, I found myself forced to defend myself to an incredulous young Chinese woman that I am not married. I don’t even bother mentioning that I’m not attracted to men at all, as brain matter would be sprayed around the room and I’d be forced to clean that up. It is China, where gay people don’t officially exist, and I don’t want to lose my high paying job… (ha ha) or be arrested by the police, which is a possibility. Several times a year, I am forced to answer why I am not married nor have I ever been married. I would sincerely love to retaliate with “Why are you content to be a whore?” or “Why do you love to suck cock?” or “Have you negotiated a reasonable price for the lifetime sale of your cunt?”, but in public, I am a ‘nice’ person and I need to keep a few pleasant and helpful relationships, even if they are all based on me wearing a mask. Don’t we all wear masks in some settings…? I’d rather force myself to wear my ‘nice’ mask than wear whore-face, especially in a tropical climate! I save my straight talk for my blog, and that is enough. I don’t claim to be an activist. I don’t have the support for that, nor do I have a martyr complex or a desire to be physically hurt more than I have been in my life.
But seriously, I wish cowardly, fake-straight-bitches would stop asking me why I haven’t sold myself to a man. I am sick of women who are too afraid to be real with themselves, to ask themselves serious questions, and to fight against brainwashing. China is, of course, brainwashing central. All traditional, pseudo-religious countries are, but even in more progressive countries, there are very, very few people are willing to answer questions honestly. Even in the more aggressive West, very few people are willing to honestly answer the question: why do we say women need to be protected (one of the number one justifications for marriage)? Almost no one will say: MEN ARE THE PROBLEM, THE DANGER, THE CAUSE OF ALL WOMEN’S FEARS. Even in the West, marriage is seeing a resurgence, and strangely, the average age of marriage is lowering. Not sure what is going on there, but it is creepy and weird. It feels desperate. We are living in an age where people are more heavily masked than ever before, I feel, because of social media, the desire to be famous, and stay young forever. Completely constructed. Little feels real among the young these days. Will we ever face reality? If not, straight talk like the problem with marriage cannot happen, and those who fail to conform will pay the price.
Education and Intelligence
A former professor remarked to me a few years ago that as highly educated women, we were considerably more alone than the average woman. Now she has boy children and she is fake-straight (there is no such thing as a naturally straight woman, imo), and she conforms to femininity, so she really has no idea how far ‘alone’ can become for a woman. Try being non-straight, non-feminine, and a non-breeder!!! Anyhow, not only are highly educated women hard to find in work environments (unless you work in a professional, female-dominated field), but the few that are there seldom bond with one another. Frequently, they engage in nasty behaviour with one another in order to climb what ends up being a much shorter ladder with smaller pinnacles available than that provided to men of all races in the same environment. In the rare event that a woman holds power in a work environment, she is often ‘in good’ with male colleagues and is less likely to help or even be fair to female underlings. Unlike with men throughout time, including today, there is no such thing as a girls’ club where women help each other achieve regardless of merit. Further, women are more likely to hate and criticize female bosses and other powerful, intelligent, accomplished and educated women than they are male counterparts. Instead of supporting one another, they tend to ‘cunt out’ on each other (see my post on my redefinition of lady-slurs – I’d prefer the words not to exist, but I’d like to achieve what black men have achieved with the N-word).
I remember this nasty, rich, black bitch in grad school in the US. I’m Canadian, so in my early 20’s, I had little practical experience with American racial dynamics. I was nice to everyone, and found the frequent nasty treatment by educated, non-white women pretty fucked up. Anyhow, I’d say hi to everyone in the hallways, just as a typical, friendly Canadian usually does. And this rich bitch would look down her nose at me and say nothing. Then one day, she showed up in my office and demanded I help her out with her statistics – she was a clinical psychology student (perfect for the profession, eh?) and she hadn’t learned not to piss off the statistics majors as we were the go-to experts for all the other majors when they couldn’t figure out how to deal with their research data. I looked at her and told her I was too busy. I do wish I could go back and explain what she had done wrong, thus teaching her a crucial lesson – don’t fuck over other women, regardless of race; we fucking NEED each other – but I was too young in my feminism at the time to help women learn fundamental truths. I was still learning myself! I have made up for it since, don’t worry. Sadly, this chick moved on to the black guy in my lab and turned on the pussy charm. She faked sexual interest in him and OF COURSE he helped her. This is how women of the patriarchy work. She ditched him after he did her work for her. And he was likely bummed out that she didn’t put out as payment for his help. She got what she wanted and she never spoke to me again. Now that is a cunt move that I’m proud to say I have NEVER pulled. Even when I was still claiming bisexuality. I have never screwed over another woman whether of my own race/ethnicity or otherwise, and I have never sided with a dude to screw over a woman. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve created ‘Girls’ Clubs’ wherever I’ve studied or worked. I’ve organized women’s events. I write letters of reference for female students if they need them and pass on contacts and connections for jobs. I make every effort to foster confidence in young women. But I have also learned to spot bitches and cunts (if you didn’t go back to my link, that means a women who DELIBERATELY hurts other women – it has nothing to do with hurting men, unlike how men have defined the word), and I avoid them like the plague of patriarchal brainwashing that they are.
I think women hurt each other at all levels of education, work and intelligence, but the higher up you go, the more men you are forced to compete with. Most women see an advantage in cozying up to men to get ahead, and thus developing a sweet little case of Stockholm Syndrome, and the few females that are around tend not to have enough direct and individual power to further another woman’s career. The men who have the power often put women into direct social and professional competition with one another. And so women begin to see other women as either useless or a threat, and as a result, they fail to bond significantly, even though it would actually be to their benefit in several ways if they did so.
It is no wonder that women have such volatile relationships with each other. Isolation is a significant threat that all women live with. Step out of line, fail to follow patriarchy’s demands, and they suddenly find themselves ganged up on by the majority of women who are too weak, brainwashed and cowardly to fight or even question the system.
I wouldn’t say that ignorance is bliss, but it certainly makes navigating a violent and threatening system much easier. Just put your faith in the overlords that rape you with your consent in return for protection from the overlords who might rape you without your consent. And punish your fellow slaves who might dare to rebel through various means of isolation. You must. You see, they can only threaten you if they are allowed to bond and then grow too great in number to keep your comfortable life of servitude peacefully unchallenged…
I’ve travelled and lived around the world for more than 20 years, and pre-hetero-and liberal deprogramming, I dated and friended extensively among the non-white international male (and female) community. I can’t stress enough how men of all races and all stations of life terrorize, benefit from, and have immense power over women of all races and stations of life. Women, especially white women, who bleet on about how white men are the worst either live in very, very small worlds with limited exposure to the range of men out there, or they are in some serious denial of reality reinforced by current liberal ideology. Wake up, sisters. You’re speaking untruths. And worse, you’re hurting women with your propaganda.
Anyhow, it’s the end of the year and rather than make resolutions, I want to send out my gratitude to all the men and boys who’ve helped to shape my reality and to open my eyes to what all males are. I present a list of my firsts, the men and boys who first introduced me to an experience or concept and who chipped away at my innocence, confidence and naivité. Some of it I learned from you as a child, some as a teenager, and some throughout my adulthood. Thank you, boys. Collectively, you’ve rocked my world. Your behaviour makes feminism necessary, I hope you realize. And I know with certainty (unlike my liberal sisters) that not a one of you is better or worse than any other. You all capitalize off the fear and compliance you inspire in women and girls.
So here goes:
White French men introduced me to the idea that female prostitutes do what they do because they love to fuck, therefore, prostitution is okay. They also introduced me to the idea that if they pay for your drink or meal, you are not allowed to speak in public.
Mexican men introduced me to white female slavery as a modern reality, to female child abduction and to mouth rape.
East Indian men introduced me to relationship rape dressed up as ‘aggressive and exciting sex’, and to porn as sex education.
Native Canadian/American men introduced me to the idea of terrorism of girls and women in the workplace and the idea that all women, regardless of colour, will be punished if they react negatively to the terrorism. They also introduced me to the reality that men of colour have always done better and will always do better than all women in the workplace, and they are almost always rewarded for abusing female coworkers.
Jewish men introduced me to the idea that if men or boys can’t fuck you, they’ll cheat on you with your best friend. This kickstarted my thinking on the reality of coercive and manipulative rape as the most common form of rape and the single most common reason women (are forced to) consent to sex in relationships.
Cambodian men introduced me to the idea of paying a man to use me as a prostitute.
Muslim men (well before the recent events in Europe) introduced me to publicly conducted, race- and sex-motivated, group-coordinated attempted-murder of white women. They showed me that the Western world has no interest in preventing Muslim men from hurting, raping and murdering white women. They also introduced me to the Muslim male hate- and rape-fueling love of white woman porn; to violent relationship rape; to the treatment of my body as a non-consensual cum dumpster, and to the treatment of my body during my period as a filthy, untouchable, but still blow-job-giveable piece of garbage.
Taiwanese men introduced me to daytime, streetside sexual assault, and to daytime, unwanted racist propositioning for dick-servicing.
Chinese men and boys introduced me to racist sexual harassment and sexual assault of white female lecturers in the secondary and post-secondary classroom.
White British men introduced me to gang rape; to punishing rape victims; to violent rape-porn as a fun gift for one’s male mates; and to the idea that women should relinquish their names and the names of their children upon marriage.
Black men introduced me to racist and unpunishable stalking of white women for the purpose of rape, and to the idea of women only being allowed to have ‘sexual power’ – the power to inspire boners. They taught me that only men get access to economic and legal power. They also introduced me to the concept of military cock-servicing requirements when stationed abroad.
Homeless men introduced me to the idea that public libraries are extremely dangerous places for women and girls – workers and patrons.
Christian men introduced me to the idea that making Sundays into ‘holy days’ (non-shopping days) provides men with the perfect daytime opportunity to lay in wait for teenaged girls walking through deserted commercial areas trying to get to friends’ homes or libraries to study.
But it all started with my father introducing me to rape as the ultimate entertainment for male adults and male children.
What would life have been like if men and boys didn’t do what they do best – terrorize, enslave, and attempt to destroy women and girls? Unimaginable…
Happy New Year! I hope your holiday is rape- and fear-free.
I seek to address problems that make people uncomfortable, and I talk about issues that even most feminists won’t address. I plan to do the same here. I’ve been wanting to write this one for a long time. It is an exploration. Stuff to think about. Impossibilities, likely.
Is it possible for women to achieve what racial and religious groups have – to make discrimination a no-no; to achieve federal human rights protections; to have crimes against them designated as hate crimes; to eliminate group-targeted slurs from daily public, media and entertainment usage; and to legally make language used against group members into hate speech?
Men Succeed, Women Don’t
Unfortunately, the group we call ‘women’, despite being the largest and longest oppressed group on the planet is missing something crucial that every single other group has had and that has worked to their advantage. Men. All oppressed groups in history, except for women, have had male members. And note that men who think they are women – trannies – are not women, but oppressors of women and mentally ill men. They don’t count among us despite what they force us to call them, and they should never be included in the class known as women. They are a class of men, and they are oppressors, not the oppressed. We know they are men because of their XY chromosomes, of course, but we also have evidence that they are men because we see how quickly they have changed policy to destroy and further oppress women. No group of women ever has achieved or ever could achieve what trannie men have. In fact, no actual oppressed group that includes men has ever stayed oppressed for long. We know the ‘why’ (because men have power and women don’t), but it is not entirely clear ‘how’ (how do men exert power so effectively?) this can be. We can consider some of the following possible explanations for how men succeed in overcoming oppression while women don’t.
1) Men tend to resort to violence to get what they want. Women tend to cower and submit when they are threatened. Programming from birth ensures that boys’ aggression and violence is deemed natural and acceptable, especially when acting in self-defence, while girls’ aggression is punished and any self-defence is absolutely NOT allowed and often turned around to appear as unnatural, and even persecutory aggression.
2) Men are more respected, in general, regardless of group affiliation, and it is easier to get what they want because of the normalized and universal respect for cock, even oppressed cock. Having a cock automatically gives you a voice in public. Vagina is universally hated – you can’t respect what you hate, and consequently, most believe on some level that you can’t oppress what you hate because they deserve what they get, and so women’s progress is barely measurable. It further helps that male hate is often called and accepted as ‘love’, so they can argue that their oppression of us is actually a demonstration of love. Note that having a vagina automatically disallows you a voice in public unless you are a cock proxy – directly supporting a male dominance agenda, in other words.
3) Men are very good at getting on board with self- and group-serving agendas and can achieve a sort of strength-in-numbers kind of situation when they perceive themselves to be oppressed. Women, on the other hand, very seldom support one another, let alone push for policy that would benefit themselves as women. Feminists have never achieved a critical mass, as a result. It is hard to win freedom from men when some of the most aggressively opposed are women themselves. It has nothing to do with an inability of women to organize en masse. No, women are actually better able to plan and get organized than men are. Rather, women are programmed from birth to support males and hold females under suspicion. Women will fight to the death to keep men doing the horrible things they do with impunity. But ask a woman to support a feminist? Get ready to have your head cut off and paraded on a pike. Even some feminists eat their own.
4) Men tend to expect others to sacrifice for them, are very protective of their own perceived rights and freedoms, and have a very strange conception of compromise. Women tend to compromise easily. They also tend to sacrifice, but instead call it compromise just as they have been taught by their male-serving mothers and male culture, in general. In this way, rather than stand up for themselves, women are more open to propaganda, guilt-tripping, and oppression. Expecting rights and freedoms as women is seen as selfish and greedy and uncompromising.
5) Oppressed men, with very little effort, tend to collect numerous fawning women to support their cause, doing grunt work, sacrificing their bodies in violent situations (cannon fodder), acting as warning systems, spies and saboteurs, providing free food and cleaning services, bolstering and building male confidence and egos, and acting as free prostitutes to service the troops. Men, on the other hand, don’t support women’s fights. Superficial supporters always have their own agenda (getting laid, scoring political points, etc.). Most actually tend to suppress any female efforts to liberate through violence, threats, abandonment in relationships, denial of free speech through no-platforming and refusal to publish, and denying female activists a place in academia and other influential areas.
6) Giving men rights and freedoms doesn’t hurt other men or affect economies detrimentally. The world economy we have known throughout history has, on the other hand, been completely dependent on female slavery. Male freedom (which isn’t an ethical freedom, but debauchery and inhumanity) requires female slavery. Capitalism cannot exist without female slavery and neither can communism as men have envisioned it. To give women rights and true freedoms and an escape from male tyranny would require a complete rethinking and reconstruction of the world economy. This scares men of all colours, who for all of history, have called their male privilege their god- or nature-given rights.
Personally, I believe that as long as males rule within the system we call ‘patriarchy’, a group that doesn’t contain males cannot succeed in achieving human rights and freedoms or be taken seriously politically, legally, socially and economically. But while lack of male membership is a major factor in continued female oppression, there is one other significant contributor: any oppressed group that supports, colludes with, and literally sleeps with their oppressor will never be set free. And no group save women has ever done this. I mean, can you seriously imagine blacks joining a neo-Nazi group and calling it freedom and equality and contentment – the natural order of things?*** And there isn’t a single underprivileged group, save women, that would be denied the right to live apart from oppressors in their own community. These days, even women’s associations and events are attacked and forced to accept either infiltration or disbandment. But women are brainwashed from birth not only to ignore the dangers men pose to their well-being and contentment, but to embrace rape and slavery and humiliation and call them something else entirely. For those few who reject male domination, there is absolutely nowhere on the planet that is safe and free of men, male influence, male violence, male domination, and of course, the colluding, cock-sucking henchwomen who attack them for saying ‘no, thank you’.
***I did know a super-scary black dude in high school who joined the local skinheads, but that was only so he could beat the shit out of gays and lesbians as part of a cowardly group at every opportunity instead of as an individual – it wasn’t to support a white agenda.
In short, as long as the majority of women agree to unequal rape-based relationships with men and to breeding male children – and note it that isn’t true agreement since they are oppressed and programmed, and thus don’t come to the table on equal footing with men – ALL women will be oppressed by men. And it is this fact that keeps male power in place. If men can argue that women agree to their circumstances, then there is nothing wrong with it at all. To men, and to brainwashed women, agreement means free will/choice. And of course, no two things could be more falsely equated. Remember that brainwashing, programming, and social influence are powerful tools, especially when they are implemented at the most vulnerable stages in one’s life, such as in childhood or in desperate situations involving poverty or serious illness/injury. [Brainwashing, programming and social influence within the patriarchy will be dealt with in another post.] Those who manage to escape their programming, such as separatist, asexual or lesbian, non-breeding feminists, are very threatening to the system, and so the silencing of these opponents through several means is swift and brutal.
Lady Slurs Are on the Rise
If you listen to music, watch films or television, tune in to any kind of hard or soft news outlets, read magazines or other material – basically live in the world, in other words – you *may* have noticed that brutal language attacking women, including slurs (i.e., bitch, cunt, slut, whore, pair of tits, broad), denigrating comments (i.e., run like a girl, acting like a woman, bitches be shopping), and callous jokes (the various iterations of the 10-dollar whore joke), are on the rise. More than likely, like the majority of people, you’ve just become desensitized to it. It’s much like not noticing that the violent, sensationalized content of public materials has escalated. Interestingly, racism in the media is on everyone’s radar – racial slurs produce a very physical ‘cringe factor’ in most people – but the woman hate has not only escalated, but has become business as usual, accepted and parroted even by the targets of the hate. And the abuse comes from people of all races. In music, blacks are the worst perpetrators, but in television and film, everyone participates. Interestingly, but not unexpectedly, the targets of the violence and hate, especially in television and film, are more often than not, white women.
Blind as most are to escalating woman-hate, many people might respond to valid observation with something like:
- what’s the big deal?
- they’re just words – they don’t hurt anyone
- women are too sensitive
- women use them tooooooo!
- you’re exaggerating (crazy, bitter, stupid, or some standard dismissal of female truth-telling)
- you’re a man-hater, obviously
And my response is: if it really is no big deal, then why are slurs against all other groups termed ‘hate speech’ and have been removed from all public media and entertainment and can get you into serious trouble if you’re caught using them in public? Why is it legal to use a female slur in a business name, but not a racial slur? Why do some American television stations bleep out the F-word, but not the word ‘bitch’? What might it mean that women have internalized woman-hate and use the hate-speech themselves against themselves and other women? And why is pointing out real examples of woman-hate itself an example of women hating men??? Logic fails, all.
See, slurs are a big deal. Words have meaning and power, and a tool of control. Those who control language, control everything. And throughout time – and today is no different than any other time period – men control language and thus control women. Male hate speech against women poisons every aspect of women’s lives. Hate in language translates into hate in behaviour. When hate is condoned or written off or normalized, women suffer. Do you want to be interviewed by some man who sees you as a bitch and a cunt and masturbates to violent rape-porn? Do you think he compartmentalizes? No one is capable of separating the messages they internalize from how they treat others around them. And the fact that the hate is escalating, as evidenced in the language we hear and use, is very worrisome for women, indeed. It is a very big deal.
What’s on TV?
Media and entertainment are important propaganda machines existing under the guise of relaxing fun-times. People are much more likely to absorb messages, if they are delivered with humour or drama.
I was just watching a British television show that had been recommended to me by one of my more advanced Chinese university students interested in socio-technology (or techno-sociology, you pick). In the very first episode, the man who is playing the Prime Minister calls one of his white female employees a ‘stupid bitch’ and then proceeds to try to strangle her and then punches her in the face in front of a male employee. And I thought American entertainment was bad. Nope, woman-hate comes from all countries, all races, all religions, all ages. Some of my weirdest memories of blatant sexism during my childhood hetero-bitch programming years came from horrible British television (The Benny Hill Show, anyone?). But they are not alone.
On the American side of things, in the 2017 season of Veep, a political comedy starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus (whom I enjoy as an actress, but who saddens me in this role), was an episode entitled “C–tgate”. The episode partially revolved around the female president trying to figure out which of her staff had called her a ‘cunt’. In 28 minutes, the word cunt – probably the worst, most demeaning, single-word slur in today’s usage and possibly in the history of slurs – is used 15 times. Note that never once in the 6 seasons of this show has the slur ‘nigger’ been used, nor any other racial slur. Liberal, or conservative for that matter, television doesn’t use the big bad, notorious, racial slurs. Never once is the Chinese-American presidential candidate ever referred to as a ‘chink’. Never once is the Mexican-American woman who eventually becomes president ever referred to as a ‘spic’ (or even a bitch or cunt, for that matter). Cunt and bitch are words to use against women, primarily, but not exclusively, white women. And it is hard to imagine an entire television series devoted to a bumbling black president who is constantly undermined and continually racially slurred. Can you imagine an entire episode called ‘N-rgate’? It would NEVER happen. On the rare occasion that a racial slur is used, it is to call attention to racism and to use it as a teaching point about respecting men and women of colour.
Go back a few years, and take the American series ‘Boston Public’ which followed the work and personal lives of a bunch of teachers working at an inner city high school in Boston. In the first season, the white female teacher is called bitch constantly by everyone, and a violent, racist, misogynist, black male student spray paints ‘bitch’ on her blackboard, calls her bitch in public and then SPITS DIRECTLY IN HER FACE, none of which he is held accountable for. But the woman – the actual victim – is called racist, of course, and she spends the rest of the series feeling white guilt and accepting abuse and slurs from all the black characters as well as the white males on the show. Misogyny, which is more common on that program, is never addressed as a ‘teaching point’. It is just what women should accept. And white women are expected to accept abuse for what white men have done in past generations. THAT is the teaching point. Men are violent. Women pay the price so that men can continue enjoying the good things in life.
If you want to get your ‘bitch’ on in an older, but immensely popular series, watch the 15 seasons of ER like I did during a short, but intense period of boredom and misogyny research this summer. It was brutal. I don’t think I’ve heard the slur, ‘bitch’, used so frequently in a television series. Interestingly, there was only 1 official racial slur used in the entire 15 years of programming. A white supremacist used a Latino slur ONE TIME. For jokes, everyone was fair game, but the bulk of the jokes were about women, then gays, and a few racial jokes tossed in here and there. There was a shit ton of sexual harassment as entertainment. If you think women don’t internalize this hate, you are dead wrong. Now that my own eyes are open to patriarchy and brutal misogyny, every time I hear slurs, rape jokes, and sexual harassment, it is a slap in the face. It blows my mind that every single girl grows up swimming in this shit. And most girls and women never understand why they hate themselves so much, why life seems so much more difficult than men’s. Why they have no confidence. Why depression and PTSD occurrs much more frequently in women than in men. Why they are afraid and feel like they need protection. The propaganda serves to weight the chains around our necks and bodies and primes us to accept abuse from all men around us, and even to call their hate ‘love’.
The Slurs and What Men Mean When They Use Them
A little while back, I wrote a post on where the bitch and the whore came from. Let’s explore a little further to find out what men mean when they use the most common slurs. Note that anti-woman slurs are often used to insult men. The men aren’t really being victimized – simply being called a woman is a bad thing. Even men who ‘love’ women hate to be called or compared to a woman. That’s love and respect, right?
Honestly, this isn’t a word that I have much connection to or use for. I don’t recall ever hearing the word used when I was in high school. Skank, yes. But I never heard the word slut used. My parents never used it either, despite their frequent use of colourful language. The word has supposedly been around since 1450 to, very basically, describe a woman who behaves exactly the way men always have and always will without consequences. It is the essential representation of sexual double standard. I’m not sure there is a another word that captures the double standard like ‘slut’ does. Use of the word has led to ostracism, poverty, rape, beatings, and death for millions of women across time. While men designed the word to hurt and control women, it has also been used to drive a really fucked up wedge between women by essentially putting them into categories of ‘good’ (marriage-rapeable) and ‘bad’ (prostitution-rapeable and the unmarried stranger-rapeable). The term has been applied by men even to ‘virtuous’ women out of revenge or sadism to serve the male agenda. And even women themselves have used the term against other women, sometimes out of jealously of a perceived, but false, freedom or power of another woman. The simple application of the term to a women has had, in the past, the power to destroy her life completely. You really can’t say that about any racial slur. No one has ever been destroyed by words quite like women have.
Sadly, when women embrace this word, it changes something in the brain’s logic centre. Women who see themselves as sluts, proud or not, suddenly don’t know what to do when they have been raped. Can a slut be raped??? What is rape? Does he have to hit me since I seem to fuck anyone who expresses interest? Am I allowed to say ‘no’ since I have embraced the word ‘yes’? There is no handbook for women trying to navigate the liberal male agenda.
Every once in a while, you hear the word applied to men. ‘Male slut’ pops up once in a while, but it really has no impact on men, their reputations, their relationships, their jobs, or anything. Men might even laugh if they hear it, and it is doubtful they would find it offensive. It is a clear demonstration of who holds the power when you cannot reverse the offense with the same negative outcome.
Personally, I don’t see any use for this word, even if redefined or attempts at reclamation are made. I think we focus too much entirely on sex and sexuality, and would love to see this word fade away because of lack of use rather than repurposing. But after nearly 600 years of use, that ain’t gonna happen any time soon.
Prostitute is a rather recent and slightly more narrow term for a woman who sells her body to men. ‘Whore’ has been around in several languages (e.g., hore, hora, hoer, huora) for centuries (likely 16th century) to describe prostitutes, sluts, and women with very apparent sexual desires. The shortened ‘ho’, most likely from black American male slang, has been popularized as a way to refer to women, in general. It is most often applied today in the way that slut is. You also sometimes get constructions used to insult men, such as ‘son of a whore’. It’s actually still an insult to women, but men love playing the victim whenever they can.
This slur is used so often, I’m beginning to think it is a new replacement term for ‘woman’. In fact, I think the trannie dudes have taken over the word woman, and actual women have now become ‘bitches’. Black American men did a great deal of damage in repopularizing the word as a slur to use against women (circa 1990’s).
Bitch has a lot of usages. You can call anyone a bitch, yet it is still an insult to women. The term comes from female breeding dog and it was specifically used to insult women, dehumanize, and to designate one of her few allowed roles. Today, it can mean:
- woman or girl, in general
- woman or girl you don’t like or have anger towards
- a woman or girl who has stood up to a man and pointed out his privilege, unethical dealings, crimes, etc
- a woman or girl who is confident and does something that a man or boy might do but would not be insulted for, or even would be commended for
- a female boss, or woman in any kind of position of power
- someone forced to do your bidding and who will remain under your control
- (in prison) a weak male who will be forced to submit to sexual assault
- a man who displays emotion and who makes other men (and sometimes women) uncomfortable (e.g., “Stop crying like a bitch.”)
- ‘son of a bitch’ – used on men to mean something like asshole, it is still a slur on women above all else
- (verb) to complain – the implication is that women complain and should not, even if it is warranted
- ‘bitch slap’ – physical abuse to be used by men on a woman who is not acting the way he wants her to
- a thing you don’t like (e.g., “That was a bitch of an exam.”)
Probably the worst thing you can call a woman. It is not as popular (yet) as bitch, but it is on the rise. It is an abusive slang for vagina, but when used as a slur, it has similar meanings to that of bitch. It is generally not used on men as a female slur, however. Less commonly, it can be used to describe a situation that isn’t liked (a cunt of a meeting). The British and a few of their colonies unfortunately use the word, but in a non-negative way to refer to one of their dude-bros, as they might use ‘mate’ or to a random dude.
As mentioned above, the American series, Veep, will likely have a normalizing effect on this slur, thanks to devoting an entire ‘humourous’ episode to calling their first female president ‘cunt’ over and over and over and over…
Like a Girl
If a girl or woman is behaving naturally, then there is nothing wrong with what she is doing. There is nothing wrong with how girls run, throw, speak, walk, think, etc. If they are acting naturally (i.e., not gender-programmed into looking stupid or under-performing or trying to be ‘sexy’), then their actions will be efficient and effective. With behaviours that require skill, both boys and girls might perform poorly without training. The thing is that more effort is put into training boys. When equally trained, both boys and girls are effective. So the insult to males about performing like a girl is more about the very female-hate that prevents girls and women from being trained or even accepted as different than male people than any kind of natural ineptness. It also highlights the universal insistence that male performance is the default and thus the correct way, even if it isn’t correct at all.
Note that many of the ‘like a girl’ or ‘like a woman’ insults are actually projections. For example, ‘stop crying like a little girl’ (or screaming or tantrumming) doesn’t make sense because boys cry as much, if not more than girls. They also throw bigger tantrums and make more fucking noise than any girl I’ve ever encountered anywhere on the planet. And plenty of other claims like failing to use logic, or being bad at math – all of these are projections as well. Women tend to be better at logic than men and are equally good, if not better at math.
Body Parts and Animals
Female slurs are the worst in the world simply because women tend to be dehumanized more than any other group. They are reduced to their body parts, and they are referred to as animals. It is how women are treated both verbally and non-verbally in daily life and the workplace and in marriage, and it is how women are represented in language. Women are referred to: ‘a pair of tits’, ‘tits and ass’, ‘broad’, ‘cunt’, ‘pussy’, ‘fish’, ‘twat’, ‘legs’, ‘sugartits’, ‘piece of ass’, ‘cow’, ‘bitch’, ‘sow’, ‘heifer’, ‘filly’, and much more.
Black Men Succeeded
Some time ago, black men reclaimed the term ‘nigger’ and made it their own. The slur, rooted in Latin, Spanish and French from the word for ‘black’, lived for a short spell in a limited geographical region as a negative term for black people. It is no longer accepted or acceptable for use in public or in entertainment. It tends to be used only when a racist character is portrayed or when black dudebros are talking to each other. I won’t attempt to explain who gets to use it, or how, or why, or in which circumstances. I’m not a black dood, and mostly, I don’t really care about the intricacies of what men do to and with each other. All I can say here is that black men successfully got ‘nigger’ removed from the entire Western consciousness except as a term with punch-in-the-gut impact and out of mainstream derogatory use, with the support of the liberal white community. That speaks of some pretty serious social, legal, and political power. You can’t claim you lack power or status if you are able to get a slur thrown out of the public consciousness and usage. I mean, seriously, do you truly understand the implication of this? Controlling language is the ultimate evidence of power. But we’re talking about men here. And likewise, there isn’t a single racial or ethnic group that hasn’t succeeded in getting racial or ethnic slurs put on the chopping block – in Western cultures. But those groups contain men, and all men have power. Women of these groups benefited as well, which is probably part of why women of colour seldom side with white sisters under feminism. On some level, they understand they’ll achieve more power hitching a ride with men, even if those some men are making their lives miserable, acknowledged or not. White woman have no power, and neither do women of any other race, so gravitating to male people makes sense to those who don’t think, won’t think, or can’t think in more than a limited, short-term, very concrete way. If women could get over cock and band together, they’d be a force to be reckoned with in theri discovery that unified female power can conquer anything and is a long-term solution to rape and the threat of rape. Why do you think hetero-brainwashing is so intense…?
So we come back to the question: is it even possible for women to eradicate female slurs from public usage and consciousness in the way that all racial and ethnic slurs have been tarnished and banned? Women are universally hated and feared – even by themselves! What would have to occur to instill the same cringe factor into even hearing (nevermind using) the words bitch, slut, whore or cunt to take down a woman? As it is, hearing or using those words generally brings power to the user, and I would argue, a feeling of smug satisfaction at denigrating a woman who is the recipient of those slurs. I would further argue that the power and satisfaction are even greater if they are hurled at or heard directed at a white woman.
But let’s get one thing straight. There are more slurs directed at women than any other group in history. And the slurs against women have a longer history than any racial/ethnic slur. Further, slurs against women have carried more damage to women than any racial/ethnic slur has ever had on a racial/ethnic group member. And another thing, all slurs – racial, sexual, religious, anti-gay – were designed and defined by men, the controllers of language. Not women. The origins of all harm lie in men. Use of slurs can bring satisfaction to women, but they benefit men most of all by their continued use.
1) Eliminating Usage of all Slurs and Offensive References
As I said, those who control language hold the power. To be able to change an entire culture’s treatment of your group speaks of massive social, legal, and political power. It is actually quite impressive and astounding how completely racial and religious slurs have been completely removed from English-language entertainment and public usage. I’m so often puzzled at those anti-racism warriors who speak of their lack of power. They live in far-off decades or centuries, methinks. They haven’t performed a modern-day reality check and taken a look at who really has power. And just as important, who really doesn’t. Women of all colours are the powerless. And so many of those ‘oppressed’ men hold massive power over women of all colours. They are often some of the worst perpetrators. How could women possibly go about removing from public and common usage an entire vocabulary of hate that is larger than that any other oppressed group has ever been attacked with? I suspect it is not possible. No group of women has ever had the political, legal, economic, or social power to control language, let alone achieve basic human rights. And I doubt they ever will as long as women keep sleeping with men – those creatures who slur them, demean them and hurt them in the name of love.
2) Criminalizing Usage of Slurs and Offensive References
Men tend to get their pubes in a twist when women even hint at criminalizing male bad (criminal) behaviour. The idea of women defending themselves and forcing men to be held accountable for their actions is taken as some kind of irrational attack on male ‘rights’. All men believe they have the right to rape, demean, threaten, slur, harass, molest, objectify, and kill women and girls without anyone batting an eye, and to live freely to do it all again the next day. Actual cops have been known to admit that if they prosecuted men for all the horrible things they do to women, most if not all men would be in jail. Racial, anti-gay, and anti-religious crimes are easier to deal with as they are much less common, because men belong to those groups, because these groups are ALLOWED to live separate from oppressors, and because men fight back, while women don’t (and aren’t allowed to anyway). Crimes against women happen all day, every day, to all women. They are so frequent that even the victims accept their victimization as ‘just another day’ or ‘business as usual’ and trudge on burdened by fear, depression, PTSD, and other psychological problems that manifest as pain and debilitating disease. And while sticks and stones break bones, language is still the most powerful weapon out there, able to dehumanize and demoralize. If language didn’t have power, hate speech would never have been created to protect the religious, the non-white, and gay males. As it is, women will never succeed in achieving enough power or respect to warrant protected legal status with regard to hate speech, let alone bodily autonomy.
3) Redefining the Offending Words
I think it is safe to say that anti-woman language isn’t going anywhere. I’m curious to see whether women can achieve what the all-powerful black man has achieved: to take possession of offensive language, redefine it and keep it within their own group, likely to eventually fade away with increasing educational opportunities. To successfully take control of lady-slurs, we’d have to do something to the language to give it the cringe-factor that, say, the word ‘nigger’ produces in all people. For women, this is a near impossible thing to achieve, I believe.
Slut: A small, but vocal, contingent of liberal, white women in Western countries (and the men whose dicks they suck) has tried, but failed, to reclaim the word. While their basic premise is correct – women should not be judged differently from men when it comes to how many or few partners they have – the way they have gone about it has served to hurt white women (not women of colour – white women) and to keep the liberal male agenda securely in place and with more ammunition. You see liberal men, who also want to control women, have told us that our freedom lies in fucking as many of them as possible, and for free!!! The shame lies not in eschewing virtue, but in withholding our pussies from the world, from being prudes! And this small group of young, brainwashed, white women has enthusiastically swallowed this self-serving male agenda and proudly call themselves sluts. And by embracing this male philosophy, men can say that ‘well, women don’t seem to have a problem with the label, so I guess it’s okay, yuk yuk yuk.” Notice that more men will support a slut walk than an anti-pornography protest, and the reason is that a slut walk is as pro-male as the very problem these women think they are fighting, while the latter protest is pro-woman, anti-slavery, anti-violence and at its very core, feminist. I’m not sure that this slur can be repurposed as it cannot be separated from it’s original meaning and to do that, you’d have to end heterosexuality, which would effectively render the slur meaningless and it thus wouldn’t require reclamation.
Whore: Like the word ‘nazi’, this word has become overused and misused through people’s ignorance, rather than effectively repurposed or redefined. ‘Whoring’ yourself in order to get ahead at a traditional job just sounds wrong, and smacks of ignorance and dismissiveness of the sexual slavery women have had to endure since time began. The slanging of the word, thanks to black American men, into ‘ho’, has not helped women at all, but rather, increased its casual, demeaning usage in everyday life. The word, like ‘slut’, was created specifically to hurt women through classification and shaming. I’m not sure that it can be redefined. And when men make demeaning changes or redefinitions to words designed to slur women, it achieves nothing for women. Often quite the opposite.
Bitch: This word wasn’t originally created to slur women, so there may be hope there. There has been some redefinition by women that I would argue isn’t that effective. Calling oneself a ‘bitch’ in a proud sort of way has sometimes come to mean ‘badass’. [Here is a prime example of this usage – skip down half-way through.] I can’t imagine calling myself a bitch in order to convey bravery or guts. Whenever I hear a women use that term to describe herself, there is this weird implication of sluttiness or sexiness that goes with it that is really repulsive. I think it is also a bad idea to retain the word ‘bitch’ to describe a woman who stands up to men because it can still be used by men easily to slur women for behaving normally (i.e., unprogrammed).
I think a good repurposing or redefining of a slur should have at its goal, the fading out of its usage. It should have a definition that men don’t really understand as it isn’t connected to them in a simple and concrete way. If they don’t understand it, they will be less likely to use it (one hopes). And it should also feel bad to women if they use it to describe themselves. It shouldn’t be a source of pride.
The way I understand a bitch (I have redefined it for my own understanding) is as a woman who serves men and male agenda, and who hurts women. The former is actually one of the less common male definitions (a submissive object), but what should be stressed is that a bitch hurts women. These are the women who ditch their female friends for the boyfriend or husband. Women who give birth to sons and make sure they grow up to know their privilege. Women who feminize themselves and their daughters. Women who support marriage. Women who blame and/or don’t believe rape victims. Women who oppose lesbians and asexuals. Women who hate the feminists who fight for their rights. These are bitches.
Most women don’t really think about how they treat other women. They probably can’t articulate that they hate their sisters – except for those clueless, but dangerous, women who say ‘most of my friends are male, and I’ve never really gotten along with women – but they are trained to do so from birth, despite it being a completely unnatural thing. I really believe that if women were made aware of their woman-hate, they would be shocked and might be motivated to self-examine and to change their outlook on sisterhood.
Cunt: This word is much less used than bitch, but it is on the rise. I think it can be repurposed in the same way that bitch can. It is a more extreme version of bitch. A cunt is a woman to purposely tries to hurt other women and girls. A cunt is a mother who abuses her daughter. A woman who turns a blind eye to a daughter-molesting husband, boyfriend or relative deliberately or in willful blindness. A woman who defends a rapist son or family member and heaps blame upon his victims. A woman who holds a girl down while her clitoris is cut off in the name of Allah. A woman who calls herself a feminist, and then in her personal definition of ‘woman’, commits ideological genocide when she tells us only women of colour are women because the percentage of white women in the world ‘isn’t large enough’ (try using that argument with Native Americans when defining ‘person’ or ‘human’ – their percentages are lower than that of white women). Women who physically attack the women their husbands are cheating with instead of getting rid of the husband. These are cunts. Is there any help for these women? Unlike bitches, they are likely aware of their actions and their actions are often deliberate and cruel. There is no excuse for hurting another woman unless she is physically trying to kill you. And I believe in holding attackers accountable. Change has to happen in the language and cognitive processes of all women first. Perhaps, if women become more self-aware, we can eliminate newly-defined words altogether. But really, who knows if women can ever transcend male hate and the internalized woman-hate they are inundated with from birth.
4) Juxtaposition as a Tool to Highlight Misogyny
This is especially relevant for media and entertainment, but can be used in every day conversation. Now, this one would be hard to implement in media simply because it opposes the male and liberal agenda, and thus won’t be allowed to happen. Women don’t run media or entertainment outlets for the most part, and those few that do tend to be liberal and completely on board with male-defined ‘female freedom’ policies. Implementing this experiment in daily life would prove hard and would likely get women killed because misogyny is an accepted part of how the world runs. But just to explore the possibilities, here goes.
For every anti-woman slur or reference made, a racist slur or comment or violence against men must also be made. So when you hear “run like a girl”, which is a nasty way of putting a male down by calling him some sort of subhuman, you must also use “run like a chink”. Or, for example, when the black male character says to the white female police officer, “hey, bitch cop”, she can respond with “hey, nigger rapist” and then shoot him in the head. The anti-black slurs are probably the best to use because blacks have been the most successful oppressed group in gaining political, legal and social power. Slurs against them will stand out immediately in juxtaposition to every anti-woman slur that is used. Where no racial slurs can be used, violence against men can be used. For example, a slur against a woman is used, and a man or boy gets kicked in the head or balls. The point of this exercise is to pair every denigration of women with denigration of a highly respected group (racial, religious, male) to question the necessity of the anti-woman material.
The big risk here is that people are too stupid to get it. Non-whites are respected infinitely more than women and girls. All races and cultures hate women and girls and embrace patriarchy and misogyny. All cultures have only flourished by enslaving females, forcing heterosexuality, and making sure that female persons learn very early in life to hate themselves and to accept abuse. To use racist slurs (or religious slurs or violence against men/boys) to highlight the frequency of anti-woman slurs may not work because stupid people or willfully blind liberal people would likely see the contrast as evidence of racism, anti-semitism or ‘islamophobia’ or ‘manhating’ rather than a highlighting of how much women are hated. Never underestimate how stupid and/or ignorant people are.
Will women ever control language or, at the very least, have enough power to stop male abuse of language and subsequent control of women’s lives?
Upon a great deal of consideration, I conclude that it will never happen as long as women accept and practise heterosexuality. You can’t be pro-women and sleep with the enemy. And if you need evidence, look at how every other oppressed group on the planet has broken free of their circumstances. They don’t live with, sleep with and fuck their oppressor, have their children, coddle their feelings, and support their policies. It really is that simple.
I hope I won’t meander too much here. This isn’t a straightforward little Aesop’s Fable with a sweet little bottom line. It’s involved, layered, and there is no clear conclusion. Just something I’ve been thinking about for years and that I continue to think about as I experience more and more and find myself further down that downward spiral that is life as a woman.
Let’s just start with this: Canadians are miserable fuckers. I’m saying this as a Canadian and one who tries to spend as little time there as is humanly possible. As evidence, despite my great boredom on ‘holiday’ here in the US from China, and despite the fact that I have a piece of business I need to take care of up North, I’ve decided not to cross the border. I just hate the place. A small part of it is that Canadians are miserable fuckers. Various data/polls even show it. I remember a comparison poll I once read about done by the airline industry on the differences between Canadians and Americans, and they found that the number one thing American airline passengers hated was fellow passengers who brought too much carry-on luggage. Canadians? The number one hated thing was strangers sitting next to them trying to talk to them. Yeah, miserable fuckers.
But it’s all relative. Canadians are, for example, much, much friendlier and more helpful than the Chinese who are some of the rudest, most selfish, emotionless and humourless assholes on earth. But we’ll get to that.
And I will say this, having disparaged my fellow countryfolk, friendliness varies depending on where you are in the country. I’ve travelled a fair amount in Canada, and I’ve lived in four of the 13 provinces/territories. Having grown up in one of the nastier parts of the country, it was a breath of fresh air to move to the West Coast. I’d say that about American geography, too. I’ve lived on both American coasts and also travelled through 25-30 of the 50 states. While Americans are much friendlier than Canadians, in general, the West is waaaay friendlier than the East. And I’m talking basic friendliness, not politics or ability to think, etc.
Living on the West Coast, and in particular, on the various islands is a different world. People look each other in the eye. Strangers say hello to one another on the streets. You strike up conversations with people at bus stops. You help your neighbours. And people smile. Could be the weather. I really do think better weather makes for more easygoinginess, in general. It’s not that simple, of course, but I think it plays in. So when I moved out there in my later 20’s, I felt myself relax, connect more easily. And I smiled a hell of a lot more.
If you don’t think about smiling in particular contexts and the meanings it can have, you can make the blanket statement that smiling is good for your health. I have felt that, and still do to this day. Exchanging an ‘unloaded’ smile (I’ll get to that in a moment) with a stranger can change your frame of mind and put a different spin on whatever is going on in your mind.
But then there are the ‘loaded’ situations. This is where men come in and ruin things for women like they ruin every fucking, innocent, positive thing on the planet with their filthy minds and need to humiliate and dominate.
It is dangerous to smile at or around men. It is also dangerous not to smile at or around men. Nothing is safe, but a blank look – the kind you see on rape victims or women destroyed by working in porn – is best. Smiling at or around a man can, TO HIM, mean, that you want him, want sex, want to be approached, are submissive and friendly and compliant, and are the perfect victim/prey. Not smiling, and even scowling, may invite sexual harassment, belittling requests for a smile (“Smile for me, honey. It’s not that bad.” Um, yes it is. Now that you’re talking to me.), or the seeing of you as a threatening bitch in need of punishment. Women are required to smile in order to make men feel like men and to help them get what they want from you. Fucking fuckers.
But having said all that, it is not Western men who made me lose my smile, although I will say that now that I have been permanently affected and my eyes are fully open, I don’t waste smile energy on them anymore.
No, I lost my smile due to long-term immersion in Chinese culture. And it took only a month for the first changes in my behaviour to occur.
I still remember my very first month in Taiwan. I’d gone directly from the West Coast of Canada – happy, smiley territory. I was bright-eyed and pleased to be working in a foreign land once again. Until I got there. Despite having a machine gun held up to my face by an aggressive young man on the second day I was there, I still remained my smiling self. But I realized something. Not only did the Taiwanese not return my smiles, ever, the only thing I ever saw were blank, robot-like faces, or just plain old disgust. It was bizarre, and very disheartening. Chinese culture discourages emotion. Emotion = bad, weak, out of control. Even fucking smiling.
Even the children don’t smile. Even most babies!!! Back in those days, in between my regular teaching, publishing, editing and writing jobs, I took on some private language-teaching sessions with the children of rich families. I had one weirdo kid – an 11-year-old boy from a very rich family – who had a freakish interest in out-moded English vocabulary and whose mother would enrol him in adult-level film classes (um…). And oh yeah, the kid refused to smile or even laugh because he thought it made him ‘look ugly’. I got him to engage in some tailored, fantasy/comedy-based murder-mystery story-writing centered on the strange-looking photos of the authors of one of his English books. His stories were hilarious and I laughed my ass off. The kid would start to laugh and then deliberately choked on it to prevent himself from getting all ugly. But I pushed and pushed and finally one day he started laughing and couldn’t stop. Every time I came by his home after that, to his mother’s confusion, the kid would spend the first five minutes laughing hysterically before exictedly whipping out the next instalment of his who-dunnit.
Jezus fucking christ. My biggest accomplishment in Taiwan. Forget the textbook I published, I got a fucking little kid to learn to smile and laugh. Pathetic.
I spent a couple of years in Taiwan, found myself changed fundamentally in a negative way, but not entirely smile-less. I returned to Canada for about 6 years. And then I went back to a culture I said I’d never return to, and I’ve been in Mainland China almost solidly for the past 6 years. The Mainland is even worse than Taiwan, which might be expected given the history and the sheer terror that communism wreaked on the country for so long. And having been there so long, I’ve had a lot of time to study and reflect on the culture and how I have adjusted to it and been mostly destoyed by it.
China killed my smile. It’s not that I am incapable of smiling. I do it a fair amount when warranted. It is much less automatic or natural though in these situations. But in public, outdoors, it never happens. Never in China. And while it has a significant effect on how I feel inside and my outlook, in general, it helps me dissociate, which is necessary when you are a white woman in China. It also saves me a lot of energy. I was quite surprised actually, when I began to analyze the effects of the implemented changes to my public demeanour in China. I used to try to be ‘present’ when I went out, and it was exhausting and demoralizing, especially because there was never any reciprocation from the Chinese. Once I started behaving like them, things became, I don’t know… streamlined? Energy-efficient? Self-centred? I’m not sure what the right word is. I mean, I absolutely hate the way it has changed me, but at the same time, I don’t feel exhausted every time I finish an outdoor ordeal. Going outdoors is always an ordeal. The funny thing is this: I know from feedback from some of my students, that they think I look angry or they are a bit afraid to approach me. But the thing is that I look exactly like them, expression-wise. Blank face. ‘Chinese face’ is what some of them call it. But as a Westerner, and especially as a woman, I am expected to be the kind and entertaining dancing monkey. Double standards. But it saves me energy and I don’t have to be concerned with how I appear when I don’t waste time on distorting my face into something I’m just not feeling. I want to feel nothing, so I put nothing on my face. It becomes easier and easier.
The double standards happen in the West, too – only for women though. We must be the happy slaves at all times. Men can wear whatever the fuck they want on their faces including murderous rampage or disgusting, rapey perv. They’re fine no matter what. Not so for women. Now that I’m visiting the US, I have relaxed a little, but I am much more economic and mindful of my smiling. Tons of women have smiled at me, and I smile back. No problem, and it feels good. I like women. I like the solidarity and energy I feel when exchanging a smile with one. But I don’t smile at men anymore. I try not to even look at them. I’m mindful of where they are in relation to my person, but I don’t look at them. And I don’t scowl. I adopt blank, trauma-face. It is the safest. And so far, so good. I am hyper-aware without perhaps appearing to be so. I come across perhaps as on a mission, hopefully ‘not prey’.
I hate that men and male culture have destroyed something so simple as smiling and relating positively to people. I don’t feel natural, comfortable, easygoing, or healthy. Thanks, China. Thanks, men. Thanks, international Patriarchy.
I get annoyed – although that is not quite the right word – when I hear men and their fembots talk about how prostitution and other rape-oriented work is really a fantastic work option for women. They rename it ‘sex work’ to take away the rapey, violent aspect of it and to diminish this kind of slavery so that it is on par with flipping burgers.
I get further annoyed listening to men say they are ‘jealous’ about women’s options. How they wish they could rake in the cash by doing what women are lucky enough to be able to do with their natural attributes and talents. How prostitution is ‘easy money’. How using prostitutes and strippers and watching porn is ‘contributing to the economy’.
It’s fucking gross. And ignorant. And it’s horrible to hear women parrot what these men say.
Given that it doesn’t look like we are going to change that culture and belief system any time soon using rationality and appeals to morality and human rights – like men give a shit about that, right? – I propose a more effective method.
Men generally only understand problems when they affect them. Self-centred creatures, you have to hit men where it hurts. Raping women doesn’t hurt them, but maybe experiencing something analogous would. Maybe…
Anyhow, here is my proposal.
I think we should open up a new job category that is only open to men. It’s called ‘lab work’. Here’s how it works. I am against animal testing, and I think all beings should be able to choose the type of work they do. Currently, animals don’t have that right. So I will free them. Instead, men will be able to choose to have chemicals and drugs tested on them in exchange for money. In fact, teen-aged boys can choose to do it too.
There is potential for ‘big money’ – or at least, that’s the rumour/promise. It will be a good choosey-choice for men who would otherwise suck from the government cock (aka ‘welfare kings’), or be homeless, or have to resort to finding a sugar mommy. It can help young men pay for their college education. And some bored men – from househusbands to professors – can even choose to do it as a sideline and then act as poster boys for the ‘happy lab rat’ when people try to critique this important, empowering job choice.
They will be provided with comfortable cages in view of other men. Drugs will be available to make the work even more palatable. We can even groom boys from a young age to see this type of work as a good career option.
Why is this work so important? Well, you see, women have a god/nature-given right to safe cosmetics, hair products, household cleaners, and properly tested medications. We can’t provide that safety guarantee unless we test them. Men provide the best test subjects – men tell us all the time that they are better than women at everything, so naturally, they are totally and naturally made for this job. And it is a good match anyways – everyone wins. Women have their rights satisfied and men make a good living! Women will contribute to the economy and help men stay employed and feel empowered. Besides, if men don’t provide this needed service, women will likely start illegally testing the chemicals they need on the men in their lives. And we all know that that isn’t good for society. We need to protect the virtuous men. And the others, the unspeakables, are better suited for lab work, anyway. All in all, we reduce random violence against family men by legalizing lab work.
Agency, empowerment, choice, free will, economic stability, men’s rights. That is what this job is all about.
Oh, and by the way, if you think you have any right to criticize this proposal, think again. I will shout you down as a gynophobe, a misogynist, a communist, and worst of all… a LWEMRA (Lab Work Exclusionary Men’s Rights Activist). And I’ll probably just throw in racist, homophobe, Islamophobe, and a few other terms I’ll make up along the way, just to get you to shut the hell up and let men choose their choices with agency and dignity!
I’ll add these as I see them – cases that support the implementation of this kind of work. It is especially relevant when MEN create dangerous products for WOMEN. They should absolutely be tested on men first so that their safety can be vouched for.
The heterosexual romantic narrative in all cultures is boring and stinky as shit and as transparent, fragile and scary as an ultra-ultra-thin condom.
And yet so many people buy into it.
Boy meets girl, usually showing himself to be a playboy or outright misogynist. Girl is intrigued: “Boy is an asshole, but I can’t. stop. thinking. about. him”. Boy shows some tiny vulnerability which serves as the ‘hook’, the thing girl remembers years down the road when wondering “what the hell did I dooooo?”. Boy eventually traps girl in holy matrimony, abuses her, and then keeps her there through enforced pregnancy and by mouthing the word love before penis-insertion and after slapping her around physically or verbally or psychologically. Well, this general progression forms the plot of most het lives and most of the rom-coms and steamy novellas out there. And not just in the West.
Part and parcel with selling this garbage as what women want is the programming of feelings: acceptable and unacceptable feelings.
In the romantic narrative, as girl begins to question why she is with boy, in come plot devices – the preferred feelings allowed to girl. You see if these plot devices weren’t employed, the story would end. Girl would leave. Girl might not go down the garden path in the first place. Unacceptable feelings, the effective ones that are programmed out of us at an early age and through the reading and viewing of acceptable film and literature out there, are the feelings that might actually save us from sexual slavery and throw a wrench in Patriarchy.
One of the most popular Patriarchy approved feelings or plot devices is FORGIVENESS. This device, the lack of which would end a romantic story toot sweet, says that no matter what boy does to girl, she must not retaliate or exit stage left. She cannot kill a boy who rapes or tries to kill her. She must forgive him. She must not adopt an eye for an eye mentality. She must forgive him. She must not get angry, take the kids and run. She must forgive him. She must not challenge his rape-supporting porn use. She must forgive him. She must not divorce him because he cheated on her. She must forgive him. And on and on. Several basic events revolving round the same theme.
We are told forgiveness is a virtue. Hmm. I’ll tell you, forgiveness does have some merit – when a woman forgives herself for ‘being so stupid!’ in believing a man has her best interests in mind or makes her a priority or sees her as an equal and free human. When a woman forgives herself for making the mistake of blaming women instead of men for her oppression, forgiveness has merit.
But forgiving men for abusing her, raping her, denigrating her, not fighting for her liberation and humanity? Nope, then it’s just a plot device.
That’s all folks!
I just posted on my interaction with a young Chinese male potential stalker. I tried to talk him down for two reasons.
- First, and most important, I was concerned about the woman he was interested in stalking. If I can prevent harm to a specific woman or girl at the hands and dicks of men, I’ll do it. We are constantly in danger from both male strangers and especially the males we know. Men act, first and foremost, for selfish reasons, and if a woman is destroyed in the process of a man getting what he wants, nobody gives even half a shit. I give a shit. I give the mother lode of shits.
- Second, if I can shape the thinking of a single man, I stand the chance of saving scores of women and girls from future harm. It’s along the lines of that old proverb: “Give a person a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Teach a person to fish and she’ll eat for a lifetime.” Big picture. Strategic thinking. Preventative medicine. All that.
Anyhow, I do keep in touch with many of my students through a Chinese-based chat program and I heard from young dude last night. There were some positive things said, but I am not clear about whether he still intends to stalk his ex-girlfriend. There was some ambiguity at the end. Here is the exchange:
Dude: Today you said that happiness comes from our inside heart. And I half agree with that as I believe that our beloved ones are the source of half our happiness. Sometimes we still have to lay half of our happiness on the outside world like our beloved ones
Me: It is important for each of us to decide what it is that makes us happy. And then to set out to achieve it.
Dude: Thank you for teaching me that “if one side wants it, but the other side doesn’t want it, then the relationship cannot happen.” It gave me courage. And I have finally decided to let go of my ex-love.
Me: That is difficult, but good news. It is hard to see things when you are feeling pain. But with time, you’ll see that something better will happen for you. You are making a good, strong decision by letting go.
Dude: If possible, I still hope I could have a chance of reunion with her.
Me: That may just be a dream. But I would suggest letting it go. When a woman says no, she must be respected.
Argh!!! I was feeling positive about him letting her go until I read his last statement. “if possible” “I still hope”.
Fuck! Let her go man!
Well, I tried.
In China, stalking of women by men is a standard and highly accepted part of the romantic narrative.
I’ve (unfortunately) been privy to countless examples of this. The wearing down and terrorizing of a woman by a man in order to ‘prove’ he loves her is more common than you might realize.
I can still remember back to 2003 and acquiring my first data point. A Western (male dickface) colleague chuckling over having his adult ESL class interrupted by a petulant Chinese man who had been harassing and stalking a female classmate with whom he was in love. He interrupted the class to throw a tantrum since the woman had not yet submitted to his displays of (immaturity, misogyny, entitlement) love. I was disgusted by the whole thing – had it been my class, heads would have rolled.
And over time, I’ve heard more and more stories. Sometimes from the lovelorn themselves looking for advice on why their stalking behaviour was not working as planned. I think most of the time it works. The poor young woman is beaten down through relentless unwanted attention and forced to give in. Yeah! A boyfriend! How long can one be terrorized and remain sane in a place where stalking and violence against women isn’t taken seriously?
And so today, it happened yet again.
I had parked myself in a huge mostly empty classroom reading Andrea Dworkin of all things, waiting until it was time to make my way to my own classroom in another building. I suddenly became aware of someone sitting beside me, but across the aisle. It struck me as strange as the classroom seated about 200 and I was one of maybe 4 people in the room.
I realized it was someone who wanted to talk to me.
Okay, what the hell. I was tired and having trouble focusing on reading. It turned out I had met the student before about 6 months previously. I could barely remember, to be honest. There are 45,000 students at my university. Luckily, it was a business English major, so he had better English, and thus was able to have a higher level conversation with me. And we talked about a variety of things which were actually interesting to me.
But one of the topics we covered was how he could ‘persuade’ his ex-girlfriend who had broken up with him that she should take him back.
I tried to tie my answer to one of his previous questions, “How can we be happy?” I could have said, “Overthrow Patriarchy,” but most dudes don’t have the capacity or intelligence to begin to comprehend what that means. But, to be honest, I haven’t a fucking clue how to be happy. I think we obsess about it too much, and spend too much time trying to find and force happiness, which, in my opinion, is the surest way to be thoroughly unhappy.
So instead, I delved into the idea that trying to get, take, or receive things is not the way to be happy. But that is what most people (especially men) try to do. We try to get a partner in love, we try to acquire money and possessions, and we want people to give us their loyalty, love or respect. None of that really works. What I suggested is that he stop focusing on taking or getting or expecting, and just try to give. I said that happiness comes from inside ourselves and when we give without expecting something in return, we are more likely to feel happy and free.
And I waited for it… He jumped in with: “But I want to give love to my ex-girlfriend.” And I countered with: a) Don’t give people what they don’t want or need. If the girlfriend broke up with you, she doesn’t want your ‘love’ (I suspect he wasn’t giving love, but rather, control and unreasonable demands). And b) you can’t give something and then secretly expect something in return. You’ll never be happy if your motivation for giving is ultimately selfish.
That gave him some stuff to mull over. I am not sure if it will sink in. Most guys can’t comprehend the notion of selflessness or understanding others’ (especially women’s) needs and wishes. But he seemed to think about what I said.
And then again, I might be completely full of shit about all of this happiness nonsense. But I hope I at least put a damper on his stalking potential. I am pretty sure that is where his obsessive thoughts were taking him. I’ve seen this a million times before.
I hate the city.
Sure, there are moments. Moments when you realize that there are certain things only a city can offer you. Like you’re tired of the ubiquitous Chinese food where you live and tired of your own home cooking, and crave some semi-authentic food from another part of the globe. A large city can provide you with that. You are also more likely to find open-minded people who like to use their brains and who eschew traditionalism and religion. That is harder to find in smaller places.
But I still hate the city.
I grew up in Canada. I have lived in most of the largest cities there. Having lived in large Chinese cities, and spent time in Los Angeles, New York, Tokyo, and London, these ‘tiny’ Canadian cities are villages in comparison.
I’ve also lived in plenty of smaller places. I deliberately chose a small, relatively isolated, Canadian town for my undergraduate experience. It was mostly for research opportunities and to get the hell away from my abusive, NPD mother, but I have to admit that the kilometers of forest, lakes, and fresh air called to me.
Similarly, when I went to grad school in the US, I chose a very small town – still for the research opportunities – but there were mountains and forest in close proximity.
I’ve also lived in the Yukon in Canada’s North. Pristine rivers, lakes, forests. Pure air. Silence. Anti-intellectual and cliquey, but nature reigns supreme there.
In all of these places, hiking and other outdoor activities were a given – one of the perks of living there. But I didn’t take advantage of the locations as much as I could or should have. Afraid of bears or other wild animals? No, actually. There are plenty of things you can do to co-exist with animals that, for the most part, aren’t deliberately looking for you.
In all these places, I was afraid of the men. The existence of men, and the threat of attack or rape is what kept me out of the forests and hiking by myself. Men are the only animals that will deliberately hunt you down or opportunistically target you, and hurt you for pleasure.
I remember, as an undergraduate, one day enthusiastically heading off onto the hiking trails in the forest behind the college. There had been reports of bears, especially at that time of year. But my thoughts weren’t on them at all. Within minutes of starting my hike, I was plagued with doubts about being in the forest alone, and then, as if reading my mind, out of nowhere, men on mountain bikes took over my trail. Scared the shit out of me. Men, in a group – scariest thing on the planet. A panic attack resulting from knowing that they could do whatever they wanted to me with impunity turned me around towards the safety of my research lab.
At that time, I forgot that there is no safety indoors either. Like all women, while I’ve experienced a lot of harassment, violence and sexual assault in public, all of the violent rapes I’ve experienced have happened in my own bed at home or indoors while travelling. This is women’s experience, women’s reality.
Will there ever come a day when a woman can leave her home and not have to feel afraid? Will there ever come a day when a woman can stay in her home and not have to feel afraid? Just the threat of what can happen is unacceptable. The threats are based on reality and they have power. They do.
It’s not the bears we have to worry about.
A handful of years ago, I was teaching a small class of really motivated, super-smart Chinese girls. I’d just spent a hellish year teaching high school – one of the worst years, if not the worst year, of employment in my life – in the Chinese countryside. I tried to wash away that year in a seaside city at a small, private language school with small summer classes. This group of young women was a salve on a wound that unfortunately still hasn’t healed.
We were doing a short unit on heroes and role models. We were using a crappy textbook produced through some Western-Chinese collaboration, and I hated it. It was sexist and as with any and every book trying to teach Western culture to non-Westerners, it did a piss poor job. Anyhow, as I didn’t like the discussion of heroes in the book, I decided give my own rendition. You see, all the book’s examples were men – men of the Western persuasion – and not a one of them was interesting or heroic. But then, throughout the world, we celebrate men for mediocrity and often, overlook atrocities they commit to celebrate that mediocrity.
So I did some research and looked for women in China, current and past, in a range of domains, that could be put up for nomination as heroes. I chose human rights activists, political leaders, anti-censorship advocates, athletes, actors, even a warrior.
And the girls, smart though they were, only recognized a few of them. I was first shocked, then unsurprised, then saddened. Just like in the West, women are not only barred from public life, but they are barred from recognition, from history, from memory, despite being the ones who actually keep this world running. Throughout the world, we celebrate the mediocrity of men over even the most amazing of women.
Fast forward a little to the years I’ve been teaching college and post-graduate students. Every semester, either through speech-giving assignments or through class discussion, I get students to talk about role models and heroes. And here are my data.
Out of hundreds and hundreds of students in four years of doing this, only two students have provided a woman as a role model or hero. And those women were the students’ mothers.
Many of the male heroes have been killers/soldiers. We’ve had notorious Western rapist athletes nominated. Mao Ze Dong, the great brainwasher and killer of millions. Winston Churchill, the man who perfected the concentration camp and had thousands of South African women and children starved, raped, or killed. We’ve had a few capitalists. Writers. Lots of fathers. Male humanitarians or social justice warriors are never mentioned as heroes – there aren’t that many of those comparatively, I suppose. Plus, activism is still frowned upon and frequently punished in China.
In China or elsewhere, I can’t figure out what makes these nominees heroes or role models other than possessing a penis. It’s not just that women have been barred from doing ‘great’ things. The fact that so many people see fathers as heroes or role models indicates that it is the penis and the qualities that only a penis-wielder is (incorrectly) believed to possess that are important in defining heroism or role-modelship. It has little to do with the accomplishments themselves. If we had a scale with men on one side and women on the other, and we had the ability to see who actually did what (i.e., we could see through stolen ideas, credit-taking, silencing, etc.) and you added weight for objectively positive accomplishments (creating and improving life and knowledge), and subtracted for objectively negative, destructive things (war, cruelty, immorality, development of weapons, greed, etc), women would, hands down, be the greatest contributors, the heroes, the role models. I truly wish there were a way to uncover truth, to reward merit, to encourage positive contribution.
We can’t do that under male rule. Merit will never be recognized under Patriarchy.
Fists and penises used to win the power, (later) the money and the ability to write history. Once money and power were firmly in the hands of men, it became just the threat of violence that has continued to erase women and keep the definition of heroism out of more objective hands.
In short, whom we honour and reward in our global society has little to do with good works or positive accomplishments or contributions. As with everything, it is all about dick. And I’m so very tired of worshipping violence and lies.
Those familiar with the self help world will know immediately what I’m talking about when I refer to one’s ‘toolbox’. It is a metaphorical toolbox that contains a variety of tools and techniques that one can use to cope and protect oneself. To run with the metaphor, basically the contents of one’s toolbox will allow the building of a fort or wall behind which one can stay alive and survive. The better the tools and techniques, the more protected one is.
Protection from what, you might ask? From seeing, questioning, defying, attacking and breaking free from Patriarchy, of course. To face Patriarchy head on is a very dangerous business, so women are encouraged to accept it. Unfortunately, it is hard to accept slavery without some defensive strategies in place.
Girls are provided at a very young age with a starter toolbox and examples of how to employ the contents within. The message that accompanies this gift is: Sorry. You’ve had the misfortune to be born a girl. This means you are worthless. But we need you to do a few things. You’re here to serve, submit, take abuse, and erase yourself. All in the service of Patriarchy and its prize citizens – boys and men. In order to help you accept it, affirm male dominance and violence, sing the praises of this system, and even ask for it, we are equipping you with the following tools and techniques. Now spread your legs and enjoy the ride. It will suck. Or rather, you will.
With this bright and shiny toolbox (with more sophisticated tools added over time), many women remain blind to their maltreatment and complicit in their enslavement; men are not forced to take responsibility for their actions and keep on doing what they do best – destroying; and the Patriarchy machine bangs on. Anyone with a background in psychology will recognize many of these tools as ‘defense mechanisms’. Let’s look at how they are employed by women under Patriarchy to ensure that they remain the slaves they were born to be.
Tools and Techniques (aka Defense Mechanisms)
The most unsophisticated of tools, denial is probably the most frequently employed mechanism women have. Very simply, it is the refusal to accept reality, even in the face of bald facts. Women may even deny having experienced something quite serious.
Example: A woman returns home after being raped by her date. Despite her bruises at the time and years of nightmares and PTSD, she refuses to admit she has been raped. In her mind, it is safer to pretend it didn’t happen. A lot of women also deny that Patriarchy even exists despite soaking and swimming in it every second of their lives.
Repression / Suppression
Both mechanisms serve to keep thoughts or memories out of consciousness. It can be done without realizing it (repression) or deliberately (suppression). The problem is that the memories still have influence even if we don’t realize they are there.
Example: A woman who was molested by her father as a child may have blocked out memories of that time, but ‘inexplicably’ has a hard time in relationships with men, especially regarding sex. She will be labelled frigid, but really, she is just repressing memories of horrific abuse.
Anger and frustration are taken out on less threatening objects or people than the actual source of these feelings.
Example: A woman works in a male dominated office under a highly misogynist boss who pays her less than the men, never promotes her, disparages her ideas and work, and makes sexually suggestive comments. The woman says and does nothing so as to keep her badly needed job, but goes home and verbally abuses her children following particularly tense episodes. We also see this commonly with the transgendered and with women who belong to other minority groups when they attack other women instead of men who are the true oppressors. Women are just less threatening and more easily attacked.
A technique where unacceptable behaviour is refocused into something acceptable.
Example: An economically desperate women may find herself with few options but to turn to prostitution, but faced with shame or other morally-derived feelings, may grasp at marriage (publicly acceptable prostitution) to survive.
The creation of seemingly separate representations of the self in order to survive ordeals. It can lead to a disconnection of self such that painful feelings don’t intrude for periods of time.
Example: Women who enter stripping or prostitution or even who are married may retract their feelings and personalities and thought processes while performing mandatory sexual servicing of customers or husbands. Outside of these servicing situations, they will maintain a different or a main identity.
The act of taking one’s unacceptable feelings towards someone and ascribing those feelings to them.
Example: Fully enslaved and compliant women may hate feminists for forcing them to realize their slavery. As a defense, the enslaved will believe that the feminists hate them, despite clear evidence to the contrary. This is the number one cause of the creation of the term ‘feminazi’. Feminists have absolutely NOTHING in common with nazis, but it is easier to project your hate onto people who just want to help you free yourself.
A mechanism that allows one to avoid the true reasons for a behaviour and instead come up with something that provides an intellectual or logical explanation.
Example: Instead of holding men accountable for rape culture, women will say things like ‘men are naturally aggressive’, ‘boys will be boys’, ‘men have needs’ or something thoroughly incorrect, but seemingly ‘rational’ on the surface. We also see arguments supporting the Patriarchal system using ‘God’s word’ (from the Right) and ‘natural law’ or evolutionary psychology (from the Left). These arguments are rationalizations.
Expressing the opposite feeling to that which you actually feel.
Example: Women, especially, are encouraged to show love to those who would do them harm rather than to address any justified anger that comes from being abused. It is a way to partially explain why battered women not only stick with men who routinely beat and rape them, but to insist that they love these men. The defense mechanism assists, but does not wholly explain, survival in a very complex, psychological situation.
Stockholm Syndrome (Identification)
This refers to supporting and even adopting the views and behaviours of someone who has power over you or is abusing you and whom you fear/hate.
Example: This is the mechanism underlying all “What about the men?” and “Not my Nigel” arguments put forth by heterosexual women. Instead of identifying with their oppressed sisters, they see weakness in and feel hatred towards them in much the same way the men they are supporting would. It also plays a heavy role in keeping submissive women in the BDSM scene enthralled (with a little rationalization thrown in for good measure).
Keep in mind, seldom does only one defense mechanism account for a woman’s participation in Patriarchy. The toolbox is one where all the implements can be inter-attached, and work together seamlessly. It is so incredibly hard for women to throw off the chains of slavery for this reason. There isn’t just one thing keeping women down – even if you stop denying reality, you may be engaging in other coping strategies. It also doesn’t help that few women have support in freeing themselves.
Stay tuned for “That’s Some Arsenal You’ve Got There, Gentlemen“.
I read a lot of feminist blogs. Most of them are ‘small’ blogs, by which I mean they don’t pull in the thousands or millions of hits per day that porn sites do. But, in my mind, they are significant and vital to my life. I’m pleased to say that the many blogs I read and/or follow are just a tiny fraction of all the ‘small’ feminist blogs out there. I believe that strength does indeed come in numbers, and I’d rather scores of small voices sending the same radical message than one or two well-followed voices singing a weak and confusing song.
Most of the blogs I read do a few things. First, they talk about ideas. They may do this through an essay on theory, theory in practice, the relevance of themes, commentary on political or social events, etc. The other thing these blogs may do from time to time is to talk about personal experience. The experience may be provided as an example of an idea, or it may just be the relation of a personal story that is of significance to the blogger. Whatever the motivation, I enjoy both. I like the former because better writers than me may help clarify my thinking on things or may put a different spin on something I believe, or may introduce me to something I’ve really not thought about before. I enjoy the latter because I see the human in the writer. I sometimes find I’m not alone in having experienced something. I find ways to put words to the horrors that are womanhood under Patriarchy.
One thing I’ve noticed is that most radical feminists have done things and still do things that are decidedly anti-feminist whether they be acts of femininity adoption or subjugating oneself in a multitude of ways in a heterosexual relationship in order to preserve it. And there can be a lot of shame and guilt in the knowledge that one has capitulated. Shame and guilt for being a woman and then shame and guilt for giving in to femininity mandates. And then there is shame and guilt for not giving in to femininity requirements and hurting a poor boy’s feelings. We often end up giving in by apologizing for our militancy. Can’t win.
I like it when feminists write about these thousand daily humiliations. Confession is good for (I don’t believe in the soul) our social and intellectual development. I think by writing about them, we become more mindful of how we survive. We can measure our awareness and progress. Self-analysis of how we think and how we compromise our beliefs (or hold true to them) is important to the evolution of a being and a feminist.
To all writers of ‘small’ feminist blogs who wonder why you keep writing – you matter. You matter to your own personal development, and you matter to your audience, no matter how large or small, who are looking for validation, inspiration and kindred spirits and a reason to go on and/or start their own confessional.
When I was younger and more naive, I held out some hope for the atheist movement. When all you see around you is conservatism, religious violence, and traditional male arguments for why women need to be kept down, atheism can, on the surface seem like a fresh, clean wind blowing from a freer, more rational place.
I’ve been a non-believer all my life. My somewhat moderate parents installed me in an Anglican Sunday school when I was five, but when the brainwashers started teaching me my parents were evil for consuming wine, I was pulled out immediately.
I was saved because my parents were borderline alcoholics.
There was some occasional religious sputtering in school. The Lord’s Prayer was a morning ritual in Ontario where I went to school. At some point, that stopped. I can’t exactly remember when it stopped in my particular school since it was meaningless to me. We mumbled for years without understanding. Today, all children in public schools in Canada are free from this form of brainwashing – prayer in schools is disallowed under the concept of Freedom of Conscience thanks to our rights and freedoms charter. I do recall one particularly nasty Christian fanatic teacher who forced children to take home and prepare class lectures from the picture bible she kept in her class (not part of official curriculum), but again, the exercise was so meaningless as to have no lasting effect on my intellect. The same can’t be said for the few Jewish students that that same asshole teacher punished for, you guessed it, being Jewish (although, I, like many others, would argue that children are not religious – they are just the children of parents who are religious – too bad they’re punished for their parents’ beliefs).
As a high schooler, I had friends of different denominations, and I did visit their places of worship to find out what was going on. Each time, bad things happened. At one place, we were treated to a couple of hours of terrifying and repetitive ‘going to hell’ dramatic skits, and afterwards, the adults held a friend and me captive for an hour trying to wheedle our addresses and phone numbers out of us. We managed to escape. At another place, I was taught that one of my parents was evil for practising hypnosis on their psych patients who were trying to quit smoking. Yeah, there was no convincing me of the merits or sense of religion. All I saw were lies, manipulation, and cruelty – even what I would consider law-breaking.
As an adult, I got to know of the prominent atheists – all were men, of course (Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, to name a few). Women seldom are given recognition in this world for anything unless they are flashing their tits or doing something *evil*. And then it is notoriety rather than respect or recognition.
As I was becoming a militant atheist, I was also developing my radical feminist standpoint. Initially, I had felt some hope that atheism would help women, liberate them from mandatory, submissive sex roles. But I realized something. And it was a true downer.
Atheist men, including those famous nutsacks I mentioned above, hate women just as much as right-wing, religious or traditional men do. They just put a different spin on it. Some of them use sexist language and outright dismiss anything women have to say, but most of these dudes are wily. They manage to get a few women on board (aka fun-feminists) by supporting abortion and women’s ‘right’ to fuck as much as they want. But the motivation is not to support women’s true freedom. It is to maintain current privileged male access to women’s bodies. If women can have abortions, they’ll fuck more. If women fuck more, they’ll do lots of men for free. So it is more sexual power for men spun as ‘women’s liberation’. And fun-feminists gobble it up like indentured girls do a blow job in a porno – humiliated, and pretending to like it. There is an illusion of freedom and an illusion of male support. But true freedom and true power are still not accessible to women under the atheist and/or left-wing male agenda. And the easiest way to expose a male atheist for the misogynist he is is to a) refuse him sex, b) threaten to take away their porn/hookers/lap dancers, etc., or c) continue fighting for women’s real freedom in economics, politics, etc. You’ll get called every name in the book, receive rape threats, and have support rescinded.
You see, men don’t get behind women’s causes unless it benefits them in some easy-to-understand way that supports the existing power structure. Even though feminism benefits men much more than any domination-submission standpoint ever has or will, it is dependent upon men giving up violence and the power that comes from it. In a feminist world, men don’t get to rape, beat, murder, harass or otherwise dominate women. And to most men, including atheists, they don’t like that scenario.
Atheism is a good, good thing. Necessary for moral advancement. And necessary for female liberation. I stand by that. The problem is that any movement in the hands of men will continue to support the male agenda. Men can take any movement/proposal that has the power to liberate the oppressed and turn it into something that benefits themselves and the existing power structure.
So yes, be an atheist. Intellectual freedom is only possible if you let go of fairy tales. But do it on your own terms. And never go for atheism that doesn’t embrace radical feminism. Otherwise, it’s pointless.
You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.Ray Bradbury
I’d go a step further with that quote. After all, it was said by a man, so he doesn’t see the whole picture. I’d say, the best way to prevent a group of people from existing, from contributing to a culture is to prevent them from writing and/or being read. Most people don’t read or take seriously those women authors who are allowed to be published. And most women are not allowed to be published unless they are willing to tell men’s version of the truth. So essentially, the world doesn’t get to read what is not allowed to be there. And that is the story of women.
There are tons of people who don’t read. They can read, but they just don’t. Can’t be bothered. It’s too much work, and requires too much sustained attention, I reckon. I was watching a documentary about the future of reading, and I recall a PhD student commenting that she had to retrain herself to read proper articles in a focused and analytical way after her modern immersion into social media skim-reading. I imagine that an actual work of literature must seem a sisyphean task when you normally spend your day ‘reading’ Twitter and Facebook feeds.
Even among the supposedly superiorly educated Chinese (according to people who’ve never been to, let alone worked in, China), reading non-mandatory books is not common. Last year, I brought in a pile of English language books from my own collection of modern literature to my writing class full of English majors here in China. I’d told them that to become a better writer, reading was a requirement. Only two of my students borrowed books. No one else even attempted to look at the books. Disappointing. But unsurprising. Only occasionally does a Chinese student tell me that they both read and enjoy reading non-mandatory books. It’s all about texting and reading other people’s constant status updates – just like in the West. How is this interesting?
Regarding documentaries, I know plenty of people who’ve never watched even a single one. And those don’t even require a fraction of the attention that a book requires!
But of those few who do read – and I’m talking about great works other than Fifty Shades of Shit or Maxim (seriously, I once dated a British dickface who told me with a straight face that Maxim was the ‘thinking man’s magazine’) – they are still woefully and willfully ignorant of topics and authors who should be a required part of school curricula. The tired old classics are standard, and those classics are written by penises for penises. For most school children and college students, women don’t exist on paper or in politics.
Women authors of literature and feminist philosophy and politics are unsurprisingly absent from school curricula all over the world. Dangerous thinking relegated to Women’s Studies programs, I suppose? As I mentioned, the classics are priapic, but even the edgy or avant-garde have a phallic bent. For many students, misogynists, J. D. Salinger and George Orwell and their social and political commentary have possibly appeared on school reading lists, but who but an English major in Canada has read Margaret Atwood (who is actually a better writer than both of those men)? And everyone knows who Karl Marx is, but Andrea Dworkin’s vast collection of work remains in obscurity in danger of complete obliteration.
But all of these works are available in the public domain, at least for now. There is no reason not to read, not to know.
There is something I find very interesting. I think about my liberal-minded male friends, the few of them I still keep around, and I know they read. They watch documentaries. They learn stuff. They know stuff. They can talk about a number of topics with a level of understanding. And they have one thing in common. They know zero, nothing, nada about women, women’s struggles, the women’s movement, the status of women today. About the movement that concerns half of the world’s population directly and the other half in an important way – they know bupkis. They can talk about other social movements. They know something about racial struggle.
Some of these men, once they come into contact with struggling groups, go out of their way to learn about what these people go through. One friend in the American TV and film business, upon meeting Albanians who had fled their country’s turmoil, went out of his way to learn about the history of their country and plight. But when he was casting actresses for one of his films, he couldn’t figure out why they made sexual overtures to him (other than the idea that all women are sluts always looking to service men). The idea that the film business requires female actors to ‘consent’ to rape in order to get jobs and how that came to be (female subordination/male domination) was completely beyond his educated mind. He got angry when I tried to tell him what many people have said about ‘his business’, the film industry, as an outsider. Yet, while I don’t work in entertainment, I am better read about the plight of women in film than he is. I’ll bet you money that he hasn’t read Rose McGowan’s recent whistleblowing of Hollywood’s widespread sexual assault of its female acting population. He doesn’t have to know about it. He benefits from women’s slavery and to know about it means he has to take responsibility and change the way he does business.
This is the willful ignorance of supposedly intelligent and educated men. The one group all of these men actually live in close proximity to, and sometimes in the same home with – women – they know nothing about. They can’t be bothered to learn about what their close female friends and loved ones have endured and continue to endure. Women don’t matter except when they stop delivering that which is taken for granted. They are objects. They serve men and men’s struggles. The struggle of men is assumed to be the struggle of women. There is no struggle outside that. The concerns of racial groups, religious groups, and gay people matter because men are members of those groups. Women aren’t men, so their continued slavery does not matter.
But these knowledgeable men do know about what the fun-feminists are doing. Oh yes, they are well aware of topless events in the name of political reform. They do know about slut shaming and the movement to embrace sluttiness as a defiant, ‘feminist’ response. They know those powerful ‘feminists’, the Suicide Girls. And by knowing about this kind of stuff, they think they have their fingers on the pulse of feminism. Women just want to fuck more! That’s all. And men don’t need to know more than that. They don’t need to explore the history of struggle. To look for real information might push them out of their comfort zone. Fun-feminists have given ignorance their stamp of approval as per historic male agenda.
Willful ignorance is dangerous. And it comes from failing to read. That failure to read starts at the school level with the censorship of books written by and about women. And it continues through college and into the world of work and survival. We destroy our culture by promoting willful ignorance, by de-emphasizing reading, and especially by negating the contributions of women writers. After all, you can be well read by today’s standards, and still incredibly ignorant by choice.
Statements of the obvious. Who doesn’t love those? And yet, in our world, the blind lead. The one-eyed are not queens, and the fully-functioning two-eyed are trampled and enslaved and silenced and over-worked.
We worship our blind leaders. The men.
Confused, yet confident at the same time, men design solutions to problems they can’t truly see. We’re lucky if they acknowledge a problem at all. Often glaring problems are spun in a way as to seem natural or inevitable or something that will be worked out in the end or, my favourite – a necessary evil.
Let’s look at overpopulation. Women are blamed for this time and again. And the finger pointing comes from men. “They should stop getting pregnant.” “They should take birth control.” “They should stop having babies.” “They should get abortions.” There may be comments blaming women for their poverty. “Poor, uneducated women have too many babies.”
No where in the world are women in control of their bodies. In most places, marriage is mandatory. In all places in the world, women must provide sex to men, free or paid. There is no choice to refrain from hetero-sex without serious consequences. Men have designated penis-centred sex as MANDATORY. Most women don’t have access to birth control or abortion or safe spaces free from male pestering and abuse. Men have no interest in inconveniencing themselves with condoms, vasectomies, or masturbation-instead-of-sex. Women and girls get pregnant. Babies are born. The fault lies with men and the the penis-sex they force upon women. Stop mandatory fucking and give women education and opportunities (i.e., reduce dependence on men) and you will lower birth rates (and rape, and STIs, and female death, and female poverty, and and and).
But men won’t acknowledge that they are the source of the problem, so they point the finger at women, and it is, as usual, up to women to shoulder the blame and clean up. But it can’t be cleaned up until we get to the true source.
Ah, the world’s oldest profession. WRONG. The world’s oldest form of slavery. Prostitution is not a profession. Like marriage, it is a direct manifestation of male dominance and female submission and slavery. Prostitution is not a choice, it is a last resort, an act of desperation, or enforced slavery (for many). For a few, it might be a misguided attempt at sexual liberation (as defined by men, of course).
Men may acknowledge it is a problem, but a women’s problem, in that either a) women are spreading diseases, b) contributing to the moral decay of society, or c) aren’t accessible ENOUGH for their liking. However, most men don’t really see prostitution as a serious problem. It doesn’t affect their daily lives, and for many, satisfies a ‘need’ they feel they are entitled to. They may even rationalize that prostitutes save ‘real women’ from the bulk of men’s demands and violence. They are a necessary evil.
But women are not the problem. The fact that prostitution exists at all is the problem and a symptom of vast inequality between men and women. The fact that men believe they are entitled to unfettered access to women’s bodies is the problem. The fact that men dictate women’s available economic options is the problem. The fact that this so-called job affects the status and safety of ALL women, including first and foremost, the prostituted, is the problem.
Women have shouldered the blame and do the bulk of the clean-up. Unfortunately, there is a growing movement of anti-feminist / pro-penis / pro-abuse women seeking to make sure prostitution is here to stay. And it will stay unless we get to the root of the problem: male dominance and entitlement.
Systems of currency are based on hierarchy. Hierarchy is a male invention. Capitalism, the ultimate currency-based system of hierarchy tells us that some of us have more value than others and deserve more than others. It also tells us that those of us who cannot survive under this system deserve what we get. Failure to survive is explained away by the men on top (and even men lower down on the hierarchy) as the simple result of ‘natural’ competition rather than bias, disadvantage and just plain unfairness due to misogyny, racism, etc.
Since before the invention of currency, women have been forced into a dependent role by men. The development of currency hurt women even more deeply and reinforced sexual servitude. Not permitted to work for currency, women were forced to assume roles as slaves to men. Women’s labour, even to this day, is primarily unpaid or underpaid. Prohibited from competing on a fair playing field, women have always been vulnerable – their fates tied to male whim and male mortality. Disobedience towards a man, being discarded by a man, or left alone following the death of a father or husband, have left women on the streets destitute and unskilled and in danger from the rest of male society, with very few options for survival.
And so we have poverty.
Men choose to blame the problem of women’s poverty on the women themselves. Women are lazy, vain, focused on their looks, stupid, unable to compete, baby machines, weak, etc. You name it, men have used it as the reason why so many women live in poverty, why women should be kept out of paying jobs, and why poverty exists at all. They’ll never see themselves at the root of the problem.
Male dominance, enforced female dependence, and reliance upon an unfair currency system that over-rewards penised-people for doing unremarkable things are the problems. But until we can name the root of the problem correctly, poverty will continue. Women will shoulder the blame, and will form the bulk of the unpaid/low-paid clean-up crew. Men, meanwhile, will pontificate, design ineffective solutions or ignore the problem altogether.
The Bottom Line
The ‘problem solvers’ who tend to get attention and funding and political support are almost always male. Women are only included when there is blame to be doled out or grunt work to be done on implementing solutions. Women are scapegoats and free labour clean-up crews. Always.
When you don’t approach a socio-econo-enviro-political problem from a feminist perspective, you will never be able to get to the heart of the matter and solve it. Enough with the blind kings, already.
I spend a lot of time – too much time – wondering why, as a society or even a global community, we aren’t further ahead than we are. I wonder why we still don’t have basic human rights for the majority of people in the world. I wonder why we still have so much war and violence. I wonder why religion still has a stronghold despite the development of real tools of knowledge development. I wonder why there is still so much opposition to the simplest social and technological advances.
And I find that it really boils down to one major roadblock. Men.
Under a male system based on dominance, which all societies are, we can’t truly advance. Any real advances are made at a snail’s pace. You see, you can’t truly advance when the underlying motivation is greed, power, sex and dominance, rather than peace, unselfishness, and the betterment of ALL people. The former tends to fuel the male quest for ‘advancement’.
If I want a reminder of why things are the way they are, I just sit down and have a conversation with a man or group of men. I’m often disappointed, disgusted, unhopeful about the future, or some combination. There is a reason I have fewer and fewer male friends as I get older. They tell me nothing new, make me feel sick, and waste my very precious time.
So I figured I’d dip into my deep vat of slime in the form of conversations with men I’ve known, and record them here for… posterity? A personal warning? A reminder of why I mostly dislike talking to men?
Rewind to 2011: an outdoor table at a small Muslim noodle shop in Haikou, the capital of Hainan province in China. I was having lunch with a middle-aged Spanish dude from my Chinese class.
For some reason, dude was pontificating. Don’t they always? He had gone through some blah blah blah about the sweet young Chinese thing he was fucking, and then moved on to the pontification – he was seriously trying on an air of wisdom and depth, and failing miserably. He said: every time I ask an older person what they regret most, they always say the same thing. They wish they’d had more sex.
Sigh. Of course they did. I’ll bet you money he always asks men, and men are typically obsessed with their virility, their legacy, and their conquests. If his poll were true – and it either was, or he selected the answers he liked best in order to affirm his own personal reckless abuse of women – it is a sad thing indeed.
I like to ask people ‘deep’ or introspective questions too. Women tend to say things like: I wish I’d not gotten married. I wish I’d not had children. I wish I’d had the confidence to [insert career-related action]. I wish I’d done more to change the world.
When men look back on their lives and wish they’d done more fucking, I know why our world sucks so much. Power and pleasure, rather than true selfless impact, is what fuels the privileged class. And it’s why we’ll never truly advance as a society.
From all corners, we are exposed to the patronizing tsk-tsking, mansplaining, and of course, much more aggressive threats, from men who think Western women need to shut the fuck up over their imagined oppression. Like all men who think of themselves as intellectuals, they like to trot out Muslim women as examples of the truly oppressed. In mansplainy fashion, they try to derail Western feminists by telling them they should stop whining and focus on helping these poor Muslim women in far-off places – to not do so is anti-feminist or something like that. Of course, not a single one of these offended men helps (or likely even knows personally) the Muslim women of whom they speak. Not one of these men assists at local women’s shelters, let alone marches/petitions to stop honour killings or FGM, donates money to feminist causes abroad, or volunteers in war-torn countries to help oppressed Muslim women. Rather, like the men in the cultures they are criticizing, they are simply using these Muslim women, and easily throw them aside and forget about them once they are finished their tirade against uppity Western bitches and their whining about the imagined harms of pornography or strip clubs or pervasive rape culture. The ‘Muslim women have it worse’ trope is a convenient and oft-used tool to shut feminists up about valid misogyny.
But there is a lot to fight against at home, and it is at home that one always should start because fighting what you know and experience gives you your best chance at success. Success is important if one is to provide an example to the world at large. And if the above male response to Western women speaking out isn’t evidence enough that there is work to be done at home, then we can easily find other things to fight against. And one could start with the current, media-friendly, sexay-fun image of faux-feminism. To those examining feminism for the first time, a false image can be quite confusing and damaging.
Pornsick lefty ‘male feminists‘ and libertarian chest-beaters along with their choice-feminist pole-dancing bimbettes (aka Third Wavers or fun-feminists) are lockstepping American women and girls (and unfortunately other Western-world citizens infected with the americo-virus) towards the other extreme of female sexual slavery: 24/7 pussy with a side of empowerment and cheeky smiles. It’s the porn/prostitution/stripping are feminist choices crowd. These days, Western girls are trained in the basics of sluthood (or How to Be a Modern Girlfriend) before they learn Intro to Algebra in school. And the grown-up, self-actualized, I’m-a-slut-so-what feminists are getting right pissed off when someone like me suggests that they’re hurting women as a global class, regardless of how free they feel as individuals to have made their ‘choices’. Yes, individual choices can hurt groups.
It’s all just misogyny taken to one extreme on the female sex class continuum.
I can just imagine all the tired, repetitive, indignant comments I’d receive from those who choose to miss the point to stave off cognitive dissonance (being offended feels soooo much better), which is one of the reasons I don’t allow comments here. They are a waste of time to read and respond to. Deprogramming is a long process, and a comment war on a blog is not how to go about it. Plus, I don’t have the patience to deal with the deluded and the willful ignorant. I’m better with those who truly wish to help themselves. Suffice it to say that I am pro-human rights, wish that all women were free from brainwashing to conform to male demands, and believe that sex and how it manifests could be decided freely between parties outside a structure of dominance. We don’t have that situation now. Not sure we ever will given how few women are really interested in standing up for true liberation. We don’t have the critical mass.
Why is it important to fight this ’empowerment’ and ‘choice’ nonsense that some so-called Western feminists insist they have? Well, when women on other points of the female slavery continuum, such as those who are forced into marriage or who are forced to cover themselves up to hide their filthy female bodies, take what fun/choice-fems do and say as freedom and feminism, they often don’t see the appeal. They don’t necessarily see them as free and don’t see Western freedom as a great alternative to what they endure currently. They may, in fact, see fun/choice-fems as the real slaves (or possibly sister-slaves on the continuum). And when one doesn’t like the alternative to one’s current situation, one is not likely to fight against the latter and will remain oppressed as per local custom.
That’s not good.
Unfortunately, nowhere in the world is there an example of what true freedom for women looks like. I mean, there are radical, Western feminists who are walking the talk and going about it in a way that makes sense. We can tell who they are because they are not receiving the enthusiastic male support that the pole dancers are. And that should tell us something. Men always go along with shit that maintains or increases their privileges. But as for a healthy model we can point to to demonstrate what female liberation and true feminism looks like? It ain’t there. I think we’d need a separate planet for that – Patriarchy wouldn’t allow a separate, liberated society to exist unmolested, unattacked, unraped in such close proximity. There may be small pockets of women’s communities, such as this small separatist community of rape survivors in Kenya who are going strong after 25 years. How unmolested are these individual communities by angry, insecure men? I can’t tell you. But in general, and on an individual level, there are serious consequences for women who cry out for liberation and/or separatism – hell, just voicing an opinion in public can bring on merciless attacks from men as well as their handmaidens.
Western women are nowhere near free or safe, but we do have a little more freedom to speak out than do our sisters in more oppressive cultures. Men may still hate us deeply and will fight us viciously to keep their right to hurt us with impunity, but we can and do find public platforms to speak out against the misogyny and Patriarchy that we live with. And our successes will fuel movements and individual rebellion in other places.
That, at least, is the idea.