Category Archives: Anti-Feminism
There isn’t a single culture on this earth where males don’t lust after and pursue the objectification, assault, and rape of little girls. Pedophelia is built into all religions, condoned by all systems of government, and is practised by all racial and ethnic groups in every country in the world. It has been practised, often in a publicly sanctioned way, since time began. I’ve written before that there really is no such thing in males or females as natural ‘heterosexuality’. I’d extend that, in males, to human-oriented sexuality. Males are attracted to anything that they can envision will accommodate their dicks. It can be a living thing or an inanimate object. It can be natural or man-made. It can be human or animal. And among humans, there really is no difference for men between adults and children except where lame attempts have been made to set up guidelines on which humans can be raped by men with impunity. All this is to say that all men have a variety of lusts in them, including towards children (especially girl children). It’s just that some men hide these lusts better than others, and some are more successfully conditioned to react negatively to children as sexual stimuli. Conditioning doesn’t erase pedophilic tendencies, mind you.
Every culture on the planet has a pedophilic underbelly and often, an above-ground set of bizarre, but unquestioned, rituals, designed to prepare girl children for use by males of all ages. And that same system reinforces this brainwashing by putting into the heads of adult women that their value increases if they, too, pursue youthful appearances and behaviours. Some rituals are common across time and place, but each culture has its set of weird shit that is forced upon women and girls to prepare them for use by males. And as adult females pursue their return to a ‘jail bait’ state, they further serve as examples to girls. And sad to say, but mothers are the number one enforcers of female slave behaviour in their daughters. Very few girls escape having an infantilized and acquiescing sex slave as a role model in their childhood homes.
It is no coincidence that feminization goes hand in hand with infantilization. Feminization has nothing to do with this fabled ‘sexual power’ that men tell us we have (the power to inspire boners). No, sexual power is held solely by men – it is the power to rape, among other male sexual privileges. Rather, feminization is the reduction of a female to a powerless, submissive, sexualized, objectified state. Infantilization is the reduction of a person to a powerless, submissive, child-like state. In females, they are essentially the same thing, and you only need to do one to make the other easier to achieve. An infantilized adult woman would seem more feminine. And a feminized adult woman would seem more infantilized. Imagine how difficult it is to infantilize a butch lesbian, for example – it’s difficult because she is not feminizing herself or allowing anyone to feminize her. The woman who cannot be infantilized / feminized is very threatening to men and women who serve men. She refuses to be owned.
[A note on emasculation. ‘Emasculation’ – which is something men complain about, but really isn’t a thing – is the male reaction to a woman who challenges his perceived right to dominate and/or rape women. Men can only be ’emasculated’ if they believe they are naturally superior to women and believe they can do what they want to them with impunity. So, you see, it really isn’t a serious thing at all, but the whining of insecure and unintelligent males who have enjoyed an enormous amount of privilege in their lives. There is no equivalent to emasculation for women. Women have never had any kind of power. The closest would be feminization/infantilization, which is more of an ensuring that power is never achieved rather than a taking away of (non-existent) power. Emasculation is actually a good thing for men – and the entire world – and really, should be called ‘humanization’ – the stripping of men’s right to threaten, control, rape, and kill women with impunity – a process that makes males more human.]
The feminization and infantilization of women all over the world is almost ubiquitously accepted by females, so effective has the brainwashing program been. Women don’t question the strange and cruel rituals they are forced to engage in, and often serve as on-the-ground enforcers for children and non-conforming, rebel-women, thus lessening the work men have to put into controlling the female population. All practices are designed, often by women themselves in a subconscious effort to make themselves more appealingly rapeable to pedophiles. That is key to remember. All feminization practices all over the world are designed to make women seem like fuckable children, the preferred human targets for men. Confident, strong, independent, adult women don’t tend to fall so easily for male nonsense and tend to distance themselves from male control. There is no appeal to men in this kind of person. Children, on the other hand, aside from their child bodies, which are incomprehensibly attractive to males (honestly, I can’t even get into the head of a generic male in order to understand their universal pedophilic lusts), children are naive, inexperienced, and easy to manipulate psychologically and intellectually. These characteristics are appealing to men, in general.
So what do women do to make themselves more appealing to rapists? I don’t have enough space here to discuss the range of rituals carried out in different countries, but I’ll offer a few up.
In China, where I have years of experience, I notice that it is customary for women to refer to themselves as ‘girls’. In university classrooms, males will refer to themselves as men, but their same-age female classmates will be ‘girls’. If I call them ‘women’, everybody gets weirded out. It has been explained to me that that is what males want. They want a female who acts like a girl. And after years of watching predictable and repetitive interactions between dating and married couples here, I understand the dance well. Females are required to be literally physically led around by males. They are not to have preferences. They are required to sulk, and pout, and cry, and sit silently alternating with throwing infantile temper tantrums when something is inevitably done wrong by the male in the relationship. They act very much like children, in other words. Women are required to give little slaps of protest to the arms of their boyfriends or husbands when said dude is messing around. They are required to let deficient males cheat off them in class and then to accept the inevitable rewarding of these same incompetent males with better jobs, more opportunities and higher pay. Chinese women are completely infantilized. And when they refuse to act like children – especially in the workplace – they are called ‘dragon ladies’.
I was also treated to a charming relating of a Chinese myth by one of my local friends. He was telling me that some people believe that daughters are actually former lovers of their fathers in a past life. He thought it was a cute and sweet story. I felt revolted and saw an open door for rationalizing incestuous pedophilia. I don’t know how common this belief actually is. But it is creepy as hell and an example of one of the many myths men around the world design in order to create justifications for the abuse of female children and adults.
We have infantilizing, pedophilic rituals in the West as well. One prime example is the tortuous and irrational practice of removing body hair from female bodies. Almost all Western women cling to this practice and angrily protest and relentlessly attack brave and strong women who refuse to submit to this idiocy. The practice is becoming worse and more barbaric with new techniques and harsher standards. More and more hair has been stripped from women’s bodies – there is practically nothing left on women these days. And the only explanation that makes sense for how this all started is that it has to do with trying to obtain a child-like body. Little girls have almost no hair on their bodies. Men like to rape and objectify little girls. But how did this horrific ritual start? How did we get from allowing girls to grow naturally into adult women to forcing women to believe their naturally maturing bodies were gross or unnatural or dirty? I can only imagine that male pedophilia is at its root. Women either got jealous (probably) or wanted to distract their husbands from raping their daughters (um, possibly), and decided that instead of standing up and saying ‘fuck off!’, they would distract the pedophiles and try to bring them back to the path of woman-rape. I can’t imagine any other reason for this practice’s origin that makes sense. All irrational female behaviour and thought patterns are directly caused by male control, rape, and destruction. Sorry dudes, women don’t irrationally try to destroy themselves for the hell of it. It is because of men. And for some reason, women think it makes more sense to go along with self-destruction than to fight.
Western marital name-changing is also an infantilizing ritual done only to women. Erasing a woman’s human identity and branding her with the mark of her husband just like a child or livestock is another way in which women are denied any kind of power. It has been said many times that there is power in a name. And it makes sense that any power that may come from that might be denied a woman. Men and women alike scoff at the idea that it is a big deal for a woman to change her name. But suggest to a man that he take a wife’s name, or even better, accidentally call a man by his wife’s name (if she keeps her surname), and you’ll find out just what a big deal it is. I remember witnessing a never-ending and irrationally blown-out-of-proportion rant by my left-wing, liberal, highly educated father one time when he answered the phone and was called his wife’s name by a telemarketer. It was like he had received a death threat, given the way he reacted to what was an innocent mistake. See, marital name change IS a big deal and it serves to infantilize women and to reinforce that they are the sexual property of their master-husband.
Another example that is present in many cultures in the world is that of beauty pageants. There is an increasing interest in entering young girls into pageants and forcing sexuality and objectification on them in very blatant ways. It is a messed up world of making little girls look and act more like adult women. We are at a point where little girls and women are clearly being told they are one and the same. Fuck objects. But, the younger, the better. It is truly horrifying.
Likely, you can think of specific examples of pedophelia support in your own life / culture. Perhaps (likely), you even do things yourself that support pedophelia through the infantilizing of yourself, your female offspring, and/or the women around you. All feminization serves to infantilize women, and remember that all infantilization of adult women is rooted in men’s desire for children. Controllable, rapeable, infantilized women are the closest thing today’s men can legally get to children. And women are deeply invested in keeping men raping them, and will go to great lengths to makes themselves seem as young as possible. Like in my other posts on enforced heterosexuality (and enforced sexuality), I truly believe that men are not specifically designed to fuck women. They get turned on by anything and everything, and if it comes to humans, little girls are often much more appealing than less naive and harder-to-control adult women. Ask yourself if you really, truly want to know exactly how large the international, underground and deep-web pedo-porn rings are. And whether your hubbies and boyfriends and fathers and sons are jerking off to pics and vids of children. Yeah, you might not want to know…
I’d like to report to those feminists who oppose the use of ‘woman’ to refer to adult, human females (supporting instead ‘wimmen’ ‘womon’ or ‘womyn’) that you can give up now. The word woman is falling out of favour in English-speaking countries.
It’s true. Human adult females are increasingly being referred to in film, television, in every day conversation, and even in business names, not as ‘women’, but as long-held slurs designed to denigrate, dehumanize and humiliate them. Women are now regularly called ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’ and ‘cunt’ in everyday situations for little reason at all. This is the new, socially-approved set of labels. Once forbidden on television, it is incredible how often they are bandied about these days. Many television stations will still bleep out offensive words like ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’, but anti-female slurs are seldom censored anymore, even on family-rated programs. I don’t have a television, but I do selectively watch shows coming out of various countries, including the US, Canada, the UK and Australia. North America (the US and sadly, Canada) is the worst, the most woman-hating, by far. Liberalism, out of control. I can’t think of a single show I’ve seen lately, coming out of Canada or the US, where at least one female slur isn’t used each episode.
And these slurs serve a purpose. They have sprung up more frequently to counteract a perceived increase in public female visibility and power with hateful spew and to stir up knee-jerk hatred for and hate speech against women. In fact, women aren’t gaining power. There is increased sexual visibility (which is just one branch of female slavery rather than power). But there is no increase in female power. Repetitive use of female slurs – like with use of repetition in any learning model/scheme – serves to put them into the unconscious and to have them at the ready whenever woman-hate is triggered. For example, a woman speaks, and the word ‘bitch’ pops out of everyone’s mouths. A woman shows strength and people yell ‘cunt’. Clever brainwashing and programming.
The increase in hate speech against women has accompanied the increased graphic, and positively terrifying and true-to-life, violence against women featured as entertainment in TV and film. Interestingly, ethnic and racial slurs have been mostly eradicated from entertainment media. Even in regular every day speech in the West, I can’t remember the last time I heard a racial or ethnic slur. Slurs against white women, yes. Those are increasing. And occasionally blacks railing against, say, Asians, when they are not hating on white women. I remember one intersectional feminist I used to read, before I realized she was anti-woman and anti-white, complaining about some slur against her own ethnic group that I have never, ever, ever, once heard used in public. Even as a child. Or on TV. But female slurs? On the rise. And on an international level, English-language culture is beginning to export their brand of woman-hatred to every corner of the globe. Even my students here in mainland China are starting to use the word “bitch” with increased regularity. It, and other female slurs, are fast becoming synonymous with ‘woman’. Hell, young Chinese women don’t even call themselves ‘women’. They are girls or bitches now. Never ‘women’ – never adult human females.
It is disturbing and fucking scary. It is never long before an increase in hate speech is accompanied by an increase in hate crimes. But in this world, there is no such thing as acknowledged hate speech or hate crimes against women. Racial, religious and ethnic groups, yes. But women are the soiled tissues of the human race. Disposable and nothing worth thinking twice about. And women are embracing this self-hatred and hatred of other women en masse. In the name of ‘female liberation’ as defined by men. Yep, fucking scary.
I like to help the average idiot see crimes and wrongs against women through the creation of racial/ethnic equivalencies. People can’t seem to wrap their lazy brain cells around why slurring women = hurting women = bad. And why words are weapons precisely because they have the power to change perceptions and segue into entrenched changes in thinking, law, actions, and violence. Always violence.
Today, I’m talking about legitimizing slurs through business operations. Let me start by describing the sitch with a few examples.
Only in a male-dominated world can a business register and use a misogynist slur in a legally operating business name. And I’m not talking about businesses that peddle rape and sexual slavery (e.g., tittie bars, strip clubs, or rape-film-porn companies). I’m talking about restaurants. Non-nudity-focused restaurants that cater to day-time, clothed persons of all ages (including children). Restaurants are starting to use anti-woman slurs to sell their nosh.
I don’t understand how people can see and accept a restaurant name using a female slur or plan a name for their business that incorporates a female slur. But it happens and people seem to love it. Let’s look at a few popular examples.
Eggslut. In Los Angeles, I was disturbed to see a restaurant with a huge line-up with the prominently-displayed business name, “Eggslut“. What the fuck is an ‘eggslut’? Someone who likes to fuck as many egg dishes as possible? Well no. We go to the founder of the restaurant to explain this Asian-derived slur. He is Asian, after all. The restaurant was started by misogynist ‘Filipenis’, Alvin Cailan. We all know what a ‘slut’ is. And an ‘eggslut’ is a derogatory term typically used to refer to a female who likes white males that are really into Asian culture. Still, the use of the slur is confusing. Why would a Filipino asshole choose to name his cookery after this female slur? I have no fucking clue. Is he trying to show that he is as good as a white dude, and like white dudes, he can hate all women, laugh in our faces and get away with hate speech against us? Possibly. I do know that woman-hate is catchy and brings in money. Always. But it just seems so strange to pair a misogynist slur with food. Not delicious-sounding. At all. I somehow resisted patronizing the restaurant, choosing to girlcott the place instead of spend my hard-earned money on misogyny. It blows my mind that women online write about this place, doing a review of the food, and saying something like “It is a sexist name, but I decided to try it anyway.” Cocksuckers, all of them, especially since they know it is hatred, but still patronize the place, thus legitimizing woman-hate, and giving it the cunt-stamp of approval. Dominant male culture tries to shove the idea of ‘don’t be so sensitive’ down women’s throats, and a lot of women think they are cool if they can take misogynist abuse and not react to it. They score points with men if they can join in on the woman-hating fun. After all, if you complain about disrespect and hate crimes, you are a bitch… And weak.
I’d actually prefer to rename his racist, misogynist eatery “The Buk Buk Breakfasterie’ to see what happens. Buk buk is not a standard racial slur against Filipinos known by most Westerners, but it is miles better than any inappropriate reference to women. I’m sure liberals would be up in arms if a Filipino slur were used in place of a female slur, however.
Biscuit Bitch. You expect misogynist slurs from men. Men are stupid and predictable that way. But when women use woman-hatred to make money, you really have to wonder whether they are sociopaths or just really, really damaged, self-hating people or even misogynist abusers, themselves. And Kimmie Spice is one of these pathetic losers. Setting up camp in Seattle, self-proclaimed ‘head bitch’, Kimmie, serves up misogyny and southern cuisine with a sarcastic smirk (I’m guessing from what she has said about herself) at her downtown establishment: Biscuit Bitch. And it appears to be another hit, as all woman-hating stuff is. Who doesn’t love feeling absolutely free to call a woman something nasty? I’m not sure she understands what ‘bitch’ really means. Anyhow, it’s another restaurant I girlcotted. I much prefer to support women-owned businesses, but I won’t support a cocksucker in her quest to destroy women by espousing the male agenda, ending up being the mouthpiece for the masters themselves.
So I wonder to myself. Given that it is legal to use cuss words aimed at women, will we soon be seeing “Cookie Cunt” or “Hibachi Whore”or do they already exist in some form or another? I wouldn’t be surprised if they already did, to be honest.
And just to put things in perspective. Know that the following would likely not be allowed because all groups – of which men are members – are PROTECTED. Imagine patronizing the following businesses:
The Chow Mein Chink – serving chow mein, fried rice and more! I cookey, you likey!
Needlepoint Nigger – for your sewing and arts and crafts needs! We specialize in DIY gun holsters!
Kitchenware Kike – high quality cookware at low prices! Cook like a pro! Spend like a Jew!
Mussie Milk Bar – Ice cream. The halal way! No milk from pigs here!
Wetback Warehouse – legally imported goods at seemingly illegal prices!
Trannie Dogs – You’ll like our gourmet hotdogs, goddammit, or you can lift my skirt and suck my lady-cock!
People will line up to support a restaurant that slurs women. But how long would it take for “The Needlepoint Nigger” to be firebombed?
I mean, can you see? Can you understand? Do you see how woman-hate has infiltrated every nook and cranny of society such that it is accepted and even embraced? If you can’t see, even with it laid out before you, then there really is no hope at all.
Well, I guess I’m not gone for good. As I said, the story never ends. Sometimes, you need to take a break from it, though, and focus on other things. And focusing on other things I am. On mathematics. My story – the story – still goes on, however. I’ve been back in China for almost three weeks, and I’ve been been physically attacked by men twice already – one on my own small university campus – and I went through a terrifying racially-sexually motivated harassment episode by some drunk Chinese men on the subway who didn’t like the fact that my student was speaking English to me in a country where only Chinese is supposed to be spoken. Sigh. No, the story never ends…
But today, I’m talking about something other than Chinese racist misogyny.
So, I’m concentrating on brushing up on over 20 years of mathematics education for personal reasons, and I’m using some relatively good sites that serve my purpose well. One of the sites, in particular, has made sure to include female and non-Western names in the word problems. But still, the site is run by men, so while they can easily address racism issues, cuz all men can get on board with anti-racism, they still can’t get the anti-misogyny quite right. They still refer to many of the female characters as “Miss” and “Mrs.”. And I sent in a complaint with a very clear explanation of why these titles need to be removed from the material and be replaced with “Ms.” or “Dr.” depending on the circumstances.
I know, I know. No big fucking deal, right? I’m just a bitchy, hairly-legged, lesbian feminist cunt who is nit-picking details that don’t really matter because she can’t get a man to fuck her. Or something like that.
Wrong, bucko. And I’ll frame this issue in terms that people will understand easily and take seriously. Racism. People take racism very seriously (unless it is racism against whites, particularly white women). So let me offend your liberal sensibilities so that you can understand why marital titles for women are a big goddamned problem (STILL!!!) and need to be addressed like yesterday.
So imagine that all your math questions, when they refer to a black person, designate them either ‘house slaves’ or ‘field slaves’. There was no other possible job for them. After all, as we all know, blacks are only good for slavery. We saw that proved through a few years of slavery in the US, initiated by Europeans (especially the British) and embraced by black African race traitors/traders, and by American southern owners of plantations. So knowing this tradition and how effective it was in keeping social order and contributing to capitalism and southern wealth and PROGRESS (don’t forget progress), why should we bother changing anything in say, math questions? And also, keep in mind that during that particular period of slavery, black slaves took their designations and adopted families seriously. Being a house nigger was a source of pride and led to greater perks than if you just worked as a field nigger. And belonging to a prominent house/family, raised them up in the world too.
By now, your skin is probably crawling, and you’re probably denouncing me as some sort of race supremacist. And of course, I’m laughing to myself, because nothing could be further from the truth. If your back is up, then part of my job is done. Now for part two, which will be much, much harder for you to get because you, along with the entire world, hate women whether you realize it or not.
My point is that like black slavery, women have been enslaved, but with a few significant differences. First, female slavery is a much more serious and entrenched problem than any racial slavery ever has been. Without female slavery, the international system as we know it would collapse completely. You see, women have always been enslaved. Women were the first slaves, and they were (are) enslaved on the basis of their chromosomes, genitalia and biological capabilities (aka SEX). Men have only been able to accomplish what they have by stealing the intellectual, physical, sexual, and emotional services and energies of women through slavery and the ubiquitous threat of violence. The other major difference between racial slavery and female slavery is that the latter is the only form of slavery that is not only still accepted, but completely, 100% legal. To this day. Marriage, prostitution, exotic dancing, and everything that exists when sexual slavery is condoned are encouraged by ALL societies, and dog help you if you don’t comply. The above board female slavery system (aka ‘marriage’) is alive and well, with a whole commercial industry supporting it, and we still use the titles associated with this slavery. The ‘house nigger’ for females is the “Mrs.” – she holds a higher place in society than any other group of women, and although a slave whose cunt is owned by one man (unless you belong to a polygamous cult) and who can be legally raped by one man (her husband), has more social, legal, and often, economic, perks than does a single woman. The single woman – the ‘field nigger’ – is “Miss”. By her title, we know that all men can have access to her body any time they wish. When unmarried, she has no protection from a single master, unless she is young and lives in her father’s house, and any man can rape her with few to no repercussions. Although remember, like black female slaves were often raped by their male owners, girls today can be raped by their fathers. So what does ‘protection’ even mean??? Anyhow… most married women, like the proud house niggers of days of old, hold their title and predicament as a source of pride and status. Most hold the slave name (family name) of their masters, just like owned blacks did. And some women even say that they have an ‘M.R.S.’ degree (I still remember the gloating look on my uneducated mother’s face when she told me about her ‘degree’).
Note that there isn’t a single person out there who would shame or destroy a black person for decrying the period of black slavery as one of the most shameful periods in American history. Not so for women who denounce marriage, prostitution or any form of female slavery. It is not allowed. Women are still, as Yoko Ono once said, “the niggers of the world”. I would add that they were the original niggers, though.
I know I’m talking to a brick wall for the most part when I talk about why getting rid of marriage, slave designations/titles, and female sexual slavery are so important. I know that most people relegate me and uppity women like me to the category of crazy, feminazi bitches when we draw attention to parallels between racial injustices of the past and currently embraced injustices against women. I’m sure the anal canal is a comfortable, warm, tight, safe space in which to nestle one’s noggin, but keep in mind that the only thing that truly belongs there is shit making its way out of your body. But ‘head-in-ass’ disease is very common these days.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, there has been no response by the MALE writers at my math site in response to ending the endorsement of female slavery in their materials despite me having graduate education and work experience in test construction and question writing, as well as related experience in research showing the effects of sex stereotyping in content and pre-test-sitting instructions for female testees 😉 (Guess what? telling female test-takers that women are shit before they take a test leads to lower test scores for them, even when they are top of the class and excellent test-takers…) But, what the hell do I know about the effect of target content on special populations of test-takers, right…?
It makes me sad, but I really, truly get it when women tell me that they don’t trust or are even afraid of other women. Some people assume that feminists believe that women can do no wrong. No. Not true. There are some horrible, evil female persons out there. You don’t have to fear them in the way that we must all fear men (if we want to stay alive and unraped, that is). But there is a minority of women who are not only damaged like most of us, but who inflict abuse upon us for a variety of reasons. Unlike some feminists, I hold these women accountable for the damage they do. There is no good excuse for aggression and dealing out undeserved harm.
Let me start by saying that the two weeks I’ve had in the U.S. have, until about an hour ago, been fabulous. I have had almost no interaction with men despite not being secluded at a women’s retreat. Refusing all eye contact and not addressing or responding to males has mostly worked this magic. The women I have met have been entertaining, to engaging, to admirable. I’ve made one friend with whom I’ll keep in touch. And I made a last-minute decision to cross the country to visit an old friend and professor for a too-short, but extremely productive and healthy visit. Thanks to that visit and our mini professional ‘girls’ club’, I have some irons in the fire regarding my escape-from-China endeavour. I have the makings of a gameplan.
I’ve been staying in youth hostels, which I generally don’t love as the experience is not what it once was, and I like dormitories and sharing space with strangers less and less as the years go by, but as I said, I’ve have strangely met a lot of interesting women. It really is not always the case.
But now I’m in D.C. where I’m reminded of why I don’t really like the northeastern corridor of Canada (Quebec and Ontario) and the U.S. (D.C. and points north). People are aggressive, sometimes offensive, and somewhat cold. Not in the Chinese way. This is different. I grew up in it, and it has rubbed me the wrong way ever since I left long ago and have occasionally returned to for visits. I much prefer the West Coast. But that is not something I’ll get into now.
Just an hour ago, while engaged in an interesting conversation with a woman from Colombia, a woman from New York about ten years older than me lumbered into our room and proceeded to take up space. Physical space, verbal space, and psychological space. She immediately dominated the conversation, things turned negative, and she pulled a few details from me about my work in China and some of my bad experiences. Normally, women, myself included, will listen to these stories and commiserate or ask more questions. This woman started getting disgusted with me, my choices, my life, and most of all, my inability and unwillingness to drop everything and become once again unemployed and homeless in Canada with no plan in the works or support networks. I literally have no support in Canada anymore. She didn’t know me or my future plans. Didn’t want to know. And then rolled her eyes at me saying “I hear abused women talk about their plans all the time. Then they end up dead.” Then she refused to talk to me anymore, made everything uncomfortable, and shot me dirty looks. I felt upset, and my first impulse was to flee. I was feeling abused BY HER. I made the decision to ask to change rooms. They were extremely helpful in getting me swiftly out of that room.
Once away from my abuser, I found myself extremely emotional and tried to unpack my feelings. Why was I reacting so strongly? Was it weakness that forced me to flee the room? I felt a little afraid of her, to be honest, and I knew I’d have had two sleepless nights if I’d stayed where I was. And I had paid a lot of money. Hostels have been tainted by capitalism, just like everything else good in the world, and they are no longer truly the budget accommodation they once were. Sleep and safety were paramount, so to get out of an uncomfortable, at best, violent, at worst, situation was not unreasonable.
Well, it was simple to explain my emotionality following having that woman forced upon me. I was badly psychologically abused by my mother and grandmother for 20 years. As a result of that abuse and likely because of my personality and vibe, I have also always been a magnet for domineering, bullying women. I always end up escaping once they target me. So, I have a healthy and perfectly justifiable and reasonable fear of older, domineering, energy-sucking, narcissistic women. They find me, and I am exceptionally vulnerable and attractive to them thanks to the damage done by the childhood abuse and my Mommy Dearest. Abusers are exceptionally good at finding the right kind of prey. I don’t yet have the tools necessary to deal with these kinds of women. I only have a flight response. Luckily, it still works.
The other issue here was that abusive though this woman was, she spoke a truth about me that I hadn’t allowed myself to accept because it is painful. She literally called me an ‘abused woman’. I had never thought of myself that way before, and it hurt and scared me. Why? It’s complicated. I had a similar experience when a friend years ago – surprisingly a bleeding heart leftie – told me that I was experiencing racism when I lived in Taiwan. It hadn’t occurred to me. White women are told over and over how privileged and racist THEY are, and that they deserve everything that happens to them. We twist all the horrible things that happen to us into some kind of deserved punishment rather than a crime. Absolutely everyone on the planet is worse off than a white woman. I’ve heard white rape victims negate their experiences – and I too have been one of those in-denial white rape victims – shrugging the horrors they’ve experienced off because “other people have it worse”. (This is also called “white female traveller syndrome” – where white women travelling alone who end up raped or assaulted during their journey refuse to acknowledge it because they think they are complaining/overreacting, or think they deserve what happened because they are ‘privileged’.)
So when this NY abuser likened me to an abused woman, I realized it was true even though I’m abused by multiple people rather than a single domestic abuser. The Chinese have treated me like absolute shit. They’ve locked me in my housing at night. They’ve refused to pay me sometimes. They’ve changed my contract without my agreement or knowledge. They’ve signed my name to legal documents without my permission. They’ve hit me, sexually assaulted me, called me horrible things – males AND FEMALES. And my will to escape and better my life has waned as I have become accustomed to the poor treatment. I’m scared to be unemployed at my age as a woman. It is hard, as an outsider, to understand why women stay in abusive situations. I have never accepted abuse from a man – I leave immediately. But the racism and sexism in employment and in foreign cultures is something I’ve not allowed or trained myself to reject or flee.
So, it’s not domestic abuse, but I am an abused woman. And acknowledging that and having someone else, a stranger, acknowledge that and label me and then abuse me for it, crushed me a little. And I fled. That abuser was easier to flee.
Now, this woman had the gall to call herself a feminist before launching her attack on me. She wasn’t. She was a misogynist. Feminists don’t abuse other women. They listen. Sometimes they help when appropriate, but mostly, they listen and empathize. Feminists should be critical of how women support Patriarchy. And we can lay responsibility on women when they hurt other women. Of course. But this nasty asshole didn’t know anything about me or my life or what steps I have already taken to get myself out of a complicated situation. My kind of situation is not acknowledged as a problem. So I am alone and must solve things by myself. She called me an abused woman, but unlike for domestic abuse victims, there is no police system that will punish China for hurting me. There is no shelter/accommodation for abused female ex-pat workers where I can escape to if I give up my job and home and find myself on the streets.
Long story short, I may not yet have been able to escape my complicated abuse situation in China, but I sure as hell made sure to escape that abusive woman moments after she showed her true face to me. I promised myself when I swore off men that never again would I sleep with the enemy, but unfortunately, sometimes the enemy doesn’t wear a penis.
I’ve just spent the last week in Seattle. It’s not like China. No kidding. Bus drivers say ‘Hello’ and ‘Thank you’, people are fairly friendly, I’ve had more pleasant interaction with strangers in one week than I get in a whole year in China. And it is not a million degrees with a million percent humidity. But at the same time, I’ve been in close proximity to six trannie males (men in dresses) that I was aware of – all young, all white or Latino and all hideous and not even close to passing. Two of them stood in the middle of the sidewalk and refused to budge as I tried to get by. I was worried about the sleeping quarters policy for the dormitories in the budget accommodations where I was staying. Do they let these she-males sleep in the female-only dorms, forcing terrified and rationally thinking, travelling women from around the world to submit to male sexual fetish? I didn’t ask, and I didn’t see the telltale ‘we’re going to take your rights away’ policy notice that says “We are INCLUSIVE”, but who knows… I refuse to sleep in coed dorms for a reason, and now I have to worry about trannies in female dorms…
I also came dangerously close to a loud street parade protest organized by Black Lives Matter in response to another cop shooting. I’ve opined on the Shooting black males phenomenon before, and I haven’t changed my mind. This recent protest was over-populated with white women – you know, the evil bitches responsible for everything wrong in the world – and black women. Women, fighting for men. As per usual. And I have questions. Why aren’t black women getting shot by police? Maybe because it is black men with guns getting themselves into suspicious criminal circumstances. Black women don’t do that. They are women. So this is a male issue. Men shooting men. Why are women fighting this fight? Why are white women blaming themselves for something men do to men? Because they are trained. Not because they are guilty of anything. Second. Why aren’t crimes against women of all colours taken seriously? Why are there no groups called Women’s Lives Matter? Why don’t men overwhelmingly take to the streets to protest the rape, murder and battery that is far, far, far more common than the killings of five usually armed black men per year? Perhaps because the men would have to take the protest past the rape-strip club outside Pike Place Market, and the protest would ring false. There are no clubs devoted to hurting black men because hurting black men is wrong and illegal, but the rape and strip clubs are a dime a dozen and men, including black men and cops, have built the world on rape and the objectification, enslavement and killing of women. It is a male right to hurt women, and women accept it too. No one will ever stand up for female freedom en masse.
I strongly urge this group to change its name to reflect reality: Black Cocks Matter. Be honest. This movement isn’t about black women. Or black people. The black movement never has been. It’s about men – the right for men to have access to and power over women. Black men won the vote in the US 70 years before ALL women (including white women who were and still are slaves), and America welcomed a black male president before a female one (even a white one). Women are still, after decades and decades, trying to get protection under the US constitution and recognized civil rights. Black men and black women who identify more as black than woman have those protections. Don’t kid yourselves. As much as everyone is convinced black men have it so rough, know that they still have more rights, political power and earning potential than ALL women, including the hated white woman. Only Asian women out-earn black men consistently when matched for education. All men, including black men and Latino men, as well as Asian women out-earn this mythic powerful creature, the white woman, when we look at matched education and full-time work. So when you fight white women, you are fighting a marginalized group that is low on the totem pole of political, economic and legal power. Black Cocks Matter. Women, not so much.
I’d really like to see women put as much effort into saving and supporting women as they do into sucking privileged cock. Some white feminist recently suggested that black women have such a hard time deciding between ‘identifying’ with race or with sex. Waaaaah. Poor, poor things. Sorry, I don’t have much sympathy there. They can do what they want, of course, and for the most part they ditch women to protect cock. I mean, who wouldn’t choose rapists over sisters… But sarcasm aside, I don’t get it. I’ve spent years living in daily racism, but I’ll choose to side with women of the race that oppresses me over cock of my race any day. Women don’t oppress. Men do. And when you destroy sexism, you destroy all the the other oppressions, as woman hate is at the root of everything, including, and especially, racism. Female bonding is the thing men try their best to destroy as strength does come with greater numbers and knowledge and the desire for justice. But that is just too hard a concept for most people to grasp, apparently.
This may end up being a little long and winding, but I’ll get to my point eventually.
The Chinese see it as a point of pride that they are ready, willing and able to accept any amount of abuse heaped on them, especially if they are doing it in the name of nationalism or some other male-defined in-group/out-group mechanism. I remember a few years ago, I was just about to sit down with an 18-year-old male I was tutoring, when he responded to some pleasantry I’d made with one of the most bizarre non-sequiturs I’ve encountered. With clear glee, superiority, and enormous nationalist and racial pride, said male told me that the Chinese army was superior to any Western army in history. As an example, he told me about the zeal of the army following Communist dictator and personality cult leader, Mao Ze Dong. They went without shoes and food (and in some parts of the country – although no Chinese will tell you this – were so starved they had to resort to cannibalism) to support the communist fight. In contrast, he cited the Italians (not sure which war he was referring to – WWII?), who refused to fight until they received food from their generals. Clearly, the Chinese were and are superior, according to this arrogant, ignorant boy, because they made the cause greater than their human rights. I had no real response to what he said. He was fucking loonie-toons. A product of Chinese and male brainwashing. The Chinese part being the acceptance of any and all human rights abuse all for the sake of a cause, no matter how fucked up that cause might be. The male part was, of course, the military bullshit. Only men truly fetishize devoting one’s life to killing and raping in the name of honour.
Suppressing my hatred for race supremacists, and focusing on the money I was earning, I moved on with the point of our meeting, which was to prepare this douchebag for a formal English examination that would allow him to take his filthy mind and psychotic ideals and ethics to the West to take advantage of our education and economic systems. His family was rich, his father the head of a university. I didn’t ask him how good ole Chairman Mao would have seen his family’s wealth or his father’s membership in academia. Mao didn’t like the educated or the wealthy (unless it was him or his cronies!) Let’s just say ‘re-education’ in the countryside and wealth repossessed by the Communist party would have been on order for this silly boy and his kin.
Mao is gone, but the idea of not challenging abuses and questionable ethics from on high is deeply ingrained in the Chinese mindset. Don’t get me wrong, if a Chinese doesn’t accept you as superior in some way, they won’t accept abuse or even non-abusive requests for action from you. This is why many of my students (especially the males) refuse to do work in my class or even attend, or why many people refuse to answer my questions in Chinese out in public. I am racially inferior. And I am a woman. They don’t have to give me the slightest respect, and they know what’s what. I have no power in China – economic, political, legal, or of the penis-derived variety (see my Oppressor Triangle to understand how this works). But it is fascinating how little challenge there ever is to the system or even to a Chinese boss. This hierarchy is clear, established and unquestioned. And abuse and illogical and unethical systems proliferate and thrive here. Little ever changes unless it comes from on high.
And so we get to the education system, and something the Chinese absolutely hate. For some reason (I think it is a ‘study and conquer your enemy’ situation), the government decided that English should be part of the curriculum here. Not English as a language or a skill, but as busy work. As something to test. Most students spend at least 10 years studying English. Not English as a useful communication tool, but the study of how to pass multiple choice grammar tests. Indeed, most students finish 10 years of English with no speaking ability and very poor writing ability. Even university English majors can often barely produce a grammatically correct sentence. If they study at all, they spend most of their time memorizing vocabulary and cramming for obscure grammar tests. But no practical usage is encouraged by teachers or carried out by students.
Unfortunately, part of this weird language study protocol involves importing foreigners to teach ‘oral communication’. It is the most bizarre job on the planet and if you take your job seriously, it is disappointing and mind-fucking because you are absolutely set up to fail due to the way education works here. Schools can gain more money and prestige if they hire foreign people, but there is no quest for quality or establishing useful curricula. A lot of (male) wingnuts are hired – those looking to fuck local women (especially their students), drink their faces off, and travel. But a minority of us are actually quite educated, experienced, and give a shit about our work and reputations. Most qualified teachers can’t handle it here because the system isn’t set up for real learning. Like everything in China, it’s all about appearances. Surface. No substance.
Because the system is so poorly set up and so few shits are given by the Chinese about quality of learning, foreign staff are thrown into Kafka nightmare-like work situations with no information, no support, and a hell of a lot of hate and racism surrounding them. Some schools may provide a ‘foreign teacher liaison’ – a Chinese employee at the school whose duty it is to control the foreigners, control the information the foreigners have access to, and deal with their inevitable complaints when they are ostracized or have to deal with inefficiency and illogic. It is never a singular or special position. Usually, it is a teacher in the English department and the lowest male or female on the totem pole who is forced to take on this extra role for no extra pay. It is often seen as a form of punishment, so you can imagine the resentment and poor working environment created by the administration. The local teacher has to take on an extra workload and deal with people who are not truly welcome or supported and who immediately find themselves in a bad environment. And the foreign staff is forced to deal solely with a person who resents them, but who is required to deal with them. Typically, the rest of the local staff in the department, despite being teachers of English and who you would think would want to know more about the culture and language they are teaching and usually have never been exposed to themselves, will never, ever speak to or be friendly to the foreign staff. It is a truly bizarre work environment where words like ‘foreign friend’ get batted around, but are not followed up by cooperative or welcoming ‘friendly’ behaviour. The administration creates an environment where only resentment and racism towards foreign people builds up and festers.
I recently took on a part-time job at a private college that is located in the middle of a construction zone, far from the main city and not really close to anything interesting. This means that they have a nearly impossible time finding foreigners willing to sign contracts with them. I mean, seriously, who the hell wants to live in racist isolation with nothing to do when they could work in a large (too-crowded) vibrant city that is not overly far away? Personally, I’m happy to be there as a part-time worker. The pay is the best I’ve ever made anywhere in China or Taiwan. But I will say, I’d never sign a contract with them and live there full-time. It really is in the middle of nowhere and it takes a few hours just to get into the city from there. There is barely a market available for fresh produce, and otherwise, you are stuck eating at the filthy school canteen or at the few dubious restaurants adjacent to the school.
But they found a few suckers to sign on, and ended up getting screwed recently by an American couple – although it was the male of the couple who ran the whole scam and from what I heard, created constant problems from day one. The couple was new to China and signed a contract with the school. Half-way through the contract, they demanded more money (despite having successfully negotiated a higher salary to begin with when they signed on). Reasonably, the school refused a second pay raise after only four months, so the Americans did a runner in the middle of the night with no notice. They even stole the laptop computer they were borrowing from the school, and left the place mid-semester without two full-time teachers. Then the other American they had working for them decided to leave early using some excuse with no one to cover his classes. And then a third American man who agreed to fill in for the remainder of the semester showed up for one day and then quit. WTF, American men??? Along with me, they hired a part-time, black Muslim man from Africa (not a native English speaker), and now he is busy screwing them, cancelling classes right, left and centre during the past month because he has been starving himself in the name of Allah. Even though the Chinese won’t tolerate Christian stuff, like the rest of the world, they are very rationally and reasonably afraid of Muslims, so they have let this guy run roughshod over them. So apparently, I am the only stable and reliable foreign teacher they have. No needy children bullshit. No psycho spouse bullshit. No religious bullshit. And I’ve been in China long enough to know and expect all the abuse one inevitably encounters working for the Chinese, so I don’t throw hissy fits every two minutes when I am treated like shit. Seriously, I’ve worked in worse places. This place is good compared to many schools.
So we get to my foreign teacher liaison. She uses all the right words: “foreign friends” being chief among them. And she is very careful to cloak her many, many complaints about foreigners in neutral language. But she hates us and she hates working with us. She has told me that she has asked the boss many times to release her from this position. The problem is that she is the only teacher without a Masters degree, so she is stuck. She can be fired easily if she complains. There is an over-abundance of English teachers with Masters degrees, and seriously, the Chinese don’t even need to speak English to teach it, so she is completely replaceable. She is in the middle of a Masters, but can’t seem to get it done. It has been a number of years now, with no end in sight. The racism doesn’t seem to be enough motivation to get it done. Poor thing…
Luckily, she has come up with a solution to deal with her racism and laziness. She has decided that she is going to have a second baby. If she can get herself knocked up, then she will be able to argue that she cannot take on the extra burden of dealing with the hateful, goddamn foreigners. She’ll never have to talk to us again, but she can still make money off our language! And!?! She won’t have to finish her Masters degree!!! Being a Chinese mother is a good deal – if you like that kind of biological slavery, that is. Every Chinese woman has one to two grandparents living with her who do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare. The father/husband does nothing, of course. Like in all countries of the world. But the Chinese wife who works outside the home seldom has to do much beyond playing with the kid and some light household duties. If the old folks get sick, that is another story. But as Chinese women tend to breed young, the grandparents tend not to be that old or sick when they move in and take on household duties, thereby lightening the load. Unfortunately, it is usually the mother-in-law that moves in (rather than the woman’s own mother), and more often than not, she tends to be a nagging and nasty abusive piece of work, thanks to Patriarchy and how it fosters hatred between women.
So, after this woman told me about her awesome racist and lazy motivations for having another baby that the world can’t support, she remembered to quote the standard mantra, like a good brainwashed woman: “Oh, and of course, I love children.” Yeah. Sure you do…
I’m betting money that she’ll be knocked up by the time I return to teach in the new semester and she’ll never speak to me again because it won’t be part of her job. ‘Foreign friend’ my ass…
I truly dislike this culture. Years of racism and misogyny and the isolation I’ve had to endure in this country has changed me for the worse. After so many years here, I am not sure if I could reverse the damage to my psyche, but at this point, I’m used to it, I live with it, and I don’t lie anymore about the fact that I’m only here for employment. I’m not interested in travelling in China and I know enough about the culture to know there isn’t much I like about it. I can separate individuals from the culture at large, and I do have a few friends here who are good people, but generally speaking, the culture fosters things I don’t value in humans. It’s cold and brutal, and people have no shame or hesitation about passing it on. They take abuse if it comes from those deemed superior, and they have no qualms about dishing out abuse or disregarding humanity or human rights if they feel they are superior. I don’t function this way – it goes against my nature and my logic – but I have no choice about being included in the mess if I want to stay employed. I certainly know exactly where I sit in the Chinese hierarchy…
Horrifying or Whorifying? It’s all the same when it comes to teaching the Chinese as a female. Add being white on top of that, and you’ve got the deck stacked against you.
I’ve been teaching on and off for the last 21 years, alternating between gigs in research universities and government policy shops (as well as farming, beekeeping, baking, and hotel housekeeping). Teaching is something I do somewhat well, although it exhausts me more than any job in manual labour ever has. At least with farming, you get strong and healthy along with your fatigue. And you work with plants! Teaching makes you tired, flabby, and fat. And you constantly wonder whether laziness and stupidity have lower limits…
In China, there is a special nuther layer as a woman and as a non-Chinese. There is a special skill that I don’t have that apparently cancels out any skill or talent I might have as a teacher. And it is something that doesn’t apply to men. Of course.
I refuse to wear ‘lady-face’ or as I have come more and more frequently to call it – ‘whore-face’ – because that is, very basically, what women’s fashion signifies: whore status. I refuse to wear the trappings of femininity, all those things that mark me as a usable fuck-object there to be consumed by men (and as a white woman in China, to be consumed by Chinese men AND women). I don’t wear pretty dresses, or any dresses, for that matter. I don’t wear heels. I don’t wear make-up. I don’t wear pretty colours. I don’t wear cutesy shit. Everything is functional, isn’t fussy, and serves to make me feel less exposed or less easily rapeable. If I trip and fall, nobody gets a look at my crotch. No one can use a selfie stick and attached cell phone to take photos up my skirt. No one gets a special view through armholes or necklines as to what lies beneath my clothes. White women are seen as whores that love to be abused. People believe that and treat you accordingly. You can’t hurt the willing, right?
So basically, you know, I wear clothes that (mostly) could be found on any average male out there. I look respectable. My clothes are clean and simple. I dress more formally than many of my students, which makes sense given our roles. But apparently, that doesn’t fly here. My only ‘girly’ thing is that I have really long hair. But that is only because in the past I have donated my hair every few years to cancer wig charities. But I have been rethinking this lately, and will be cutting my hair blessedly short this summer. I don’t want to contribute to the sexist, racist notion that white women can’t be bald. Black women can be bald and accepted, even without cancer, so I think white women shouldn’t have to suffer from public derision for not having hair on their heads. So that’s enough with the long-hair-for-donation bullshit. But I will pay for it socially here in reserved, misogynist China where you seldom see a non-old woman with short hair. (Cross into more progressive Hong Kong, and it is a different story.) In combination with my ‘man clothes’, short hair will make things considerably more ‘interesting’. I wish I could lose my considerable and distinctly non-Chinese tittage, the bane of my existence in this country, and have people mistake me for male at first. I’d be harassed A LOT less. And be given a little more respect, perhaps.
But back to lady-face. It is, as a white woman in a very racist, misogynist country, bad enough being in public wearing the no-nonsense shit that I do. I get shit for not being feminine enough, but being feminine would be a bad thing, too. It is difficult for me to imagine how much worse it would be if I exposed cleavage or bared my lightly hairy, unshaved, white legs. (Most Chinese don’t shave, but even many of the men don’t have much leg hair.) I think I would be sexually assaulted and harassed more than I am already. And I would be stared at even more than I am now. I’d be on the receiving end of more sexual behaviour from men and more derision/disgust from men AND women. And I would personally feel more uncomfortable and vulnerable. And that last bit is the difference between tolerating going out in public with PTSD under careful control, versus staying at home unless absolutely unavoidable.
Why do I bring this up? Well, I made an interesting discovery in my Business English class the other day. All female, except for a few males. I had planned to talk about giving ideas and making suggestions in the workplace, based on a chapter in their textbooks. But I opened it up by talking about personal suggestions, and I made the mistake of asking each student to give me a suggestion. I hadn’t anticipated all the misogyny and such a clear indication of where these silly assholes’ priorities were. Instead of interesting or creative ideas, several of the suggestions were:
- I needed to change my clothing style
- I needed to wear dresses
- I needed to wear bright colours
- I needed to wear things that would make me ‘look beautiful’
- More suggestions about wearing ‘girl clothes’
- I should wear different shoes
At one point, when I started to get annoyed by the implications that all anyone cared about was what I looked like and that my job performance clearly rested on this factor alone, I remarked that once boys started wearing dresses, I would too. You know, even if I wanted to dress like a cocksucker, I think about the following. My classroom is not air-conditioned. It went up to 37°C (99°F) last week. I usually spend 7 hours in that classroom, mostly on my feet, animated and interacting with students. I’m drenched in sweat within the first fifteen minutes. It is cooler (or less stifling, perhaps) when I step out of my classroom. I do tend to over-dress, but that is simply because I am uncomfortable with all the ogling I get in China. I also sweat like a pig. I don’t do well in the tropics. But I’m trying to imagine make-up running in rivulets down my face. I’m trying to imagine a typical lacy, polyester Chinese dress (think 1980’s in the West) sticking to my tits and legs, scratching and unbreathable, giving me a rash or hives. I’m trying to imagine my feet sweating and slipping inside high-heeled shoes. And then I imagine myself passing out in a disgusting mess on the floor with my skirt around my waist, my ankle broken, and all the kids making videos and posting it on the Chinese internet. (I would title it “Horrified or Whorified? White Teacher Fail!”)
Do men get any of this shit? No. Of course not. No one comments on what the black Muslim male teacher at my school wears. No one questions what any of the men wear or don’t wear. Anywhere in the world. No one measures a man’s teaching performance or talent by his shoes, fashion sense, or his looks. No one tells men about their bad B.O or the alcohol leaking from their pores when they sweat and breathe on students. Men show up. In whatever condition they wish. They get paid. They get respect. And they go home where their personal whores cook their food, clean their stinky clothes, and suck their dicks or spread their legs (or ass cheeks in the West!). A good life, and one men feel entitled to, but don’t deserve.
It’s bad enough dealing with my male students, but the Chinese lady-cocksuckers are a piece of work too, and they are racist and misogynist in their own special ways that feel like more of a betrayal than you get with men. You expect abuse from men. For me, I’m waiting for bullshit from men before they even open their mouths. But even when you know women will betray you because of your non-conformity, it hurts a lot when they do it. The women are part of the problem, even if they didn’t start it. I don’t let them off the hook as participants in women’s oppression. In their own oppression. In my oppression. There is never an excuse for keeping your brain turned off and reaping the meager benefits at other women’s expense.
Until you actually understand racism and the fact that it is a male invention that derives from and depends on misogyny, you are going to be confused about human interaction, especially when you move around geographically, and possibly about how to react to assaults upon your female body. You will be confused about who constitutes a racist and what constitutes a racist act. You’ll be confused about ‘racially motivated’ versus ‘racist’, and you’ll definitely be confused about whether a behaviour has nothing to do with race and everything to do with misogyny, economics, or just plain old meanness directed at the closest target available.
Racism, or the domination of one race over another, is not necessarily dependent on having a majority population. Numbers help, but they are not necessary. Racism is also much less simple to discern than misogyny. The world wants to dichotomize it (aka ‘only white people are racist’), but it is both incorrect and too easy. Woman-hate IS a simple dichotomy; it really is easy to figure out. Men hate women. And these men include all the ones we love to coddle: gay men, trannies (men in dresses), men with no arms and no legs, homeless men, Jewish and Muslim men, and non-white men. Sexist behaviours and crimes are easy to pinpoint because men hold all the power, while women don’t. Men do all sorts of shit to women (and get away with it) because they hold all the power. Even with other mitigating factors, such as economics, males always hold power. The least powerful man can still rape (and get away with raping) the most powerful woman and holding that sexual threat over her is a source of the world’s greatest, most accepted, and longest standing oppression.
Racism is not so easy. First, it is based on misogyny. Without woman-hate, racism wouldn’t be a thing. It wouldn’t exist. It is a male creation, the sole purpose of which is to preserve bloodlines. And bloodlines are ONLY preserved by controlling women and who sticks their dicks into their fuckholes. Just listen to any racial or ethnic supremacist group (white, black, Chinese, Jewish, etc), regardless of race or ethnicity or geography, and sooner rather than later, you’ll hear them talk about not allowing inter-marriage or inter-dating and about breeding and sterilization. That is control of women, their cunts and their uteri. Control of women is at the root of racism. But then again, if you understand radical feminism, and what ‘radical’ actually means, this is obvious to you and you won’t find yourself derailed by intersectionality issues.
Second, racism isn’t a dichotomy despite so many people wishing and hoping it were. There are several races on the planet (and even more confusing, several more ethnicities that are sometimes treated and function like races), and depending on where you are, different races have different power. The race that rules (and thus can be ‘racist’) has three sources of power, which I make clear in my Oppressor Triangle below. Further, in a dynamic between two people or groups of people, we can consider a fourth source of power – the one at the centre of everything. The penis. When a penis is present, it predominates. Penis is first, and then the other three sources of power follow. I call this the Oppressor Triangle, with a dick at the centre.
Let’s go through the Oppressor Triangle briefly. You can apply this triangle to any oppression you wish. Take misogyny. Woman-hate. This one is easy because with cock at the centre, you don’t even need to go further in the analysis.
Cock at the centre. First, cock is the overriding factor. If cock is present, it will cancel out any power a non-cock (i.e., a woman) has. Cock wins over vagina. Always. Even if an individual woman has legal, political AND economic power over a man. Dude can still rape or threaten rape. That is the ultimate oppression. Further, a man with a cock will be in a position of power over a trannie dude with no cock. And a trannie who cuts off his cock and sports a dress, pumps and lipstick, will hold power over women by nature of being born and raised with an attached cock. Women have negligible power over one another. However, a woman can gain power over another woman through ‘cock proxy’. If she is a cocksucker – a practising heterosexual woman or a woman with a son – she will have power over an asexual woman or a lesbian or a childless, single woman. Basically, the less cock you have in your life, the less power you have in relation to other women. It is exactly why matriarchy wouldn’t/doesn’t function on a domination-submission or slavery paradigm.
Economic Power. Economics can be determined by sheer wealth, but also by social relationships and status. People with more money obviously have more power than people with less money. But there is another aspect to this that is not immediately apparent. People with families have more economic power than people with no families. This might seem confusing at first because most people have some sort of family they interact with, even if they don’t like them. People who have no family, which includes parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, spouses and children, have much less economic power than those with these traditional relationships. As a single, childless person, if you get sick or injured and cannot work, you lose your sole income and form of security. You have no one to take care of you, cook for you, bring in money for you, and do basic things people with families take for granted. Further, you are at high risk of death or serious life-changing implications if the illness or injury is long-term. It is hard to imagine, even if you are not 100% cool with your family, but in dire circumstances, you know they will help you out (even if there are strings attached). Those of us without that economic safety net live in a shit-scary world where the threat of illness or injury is constant and terrifying. And once you get a taste of helplessness, and how easily and quickly you can be rendered helpless, everything you do can be very scary. There is a reason single, childless elderly women (most of whom are white, by the way) are one of the poorest segments of the population in the Western world.
Political Power. This can very obviously refer to the power that a politician or someone enmeshed in the political world (e.g., lobbyists, union members, bureaucrats, etc) might have. But it can also refer to the power that your not-specifically-political group membership has politically. For example, all over the world, governments and citizens are terrified of Muslim violence. Even in dictatorial China where I live and work, the government is terrified of Muslim terrorism. Muslims are the only group in China who don’t have to abide by the government’s strict rules regarding population control, income and freedom of speech. They can say and do and go where they want. In the last year or two, there have been Muslim acts of terrorism in China (including where I live), and this relatively small group had the political power to change security measures in every single transportation station (metro, train, bus stations and airports) in the affected cities and beyond. We’ve also seen the political power of male refugees in Europe recently. ‘Oppressed’ rapists attacking local women were given asylum and their crimes were ignored and wiped from the internet. And our all-time favourite oppressed people, Jewish folks, hold enormous political power (and economic power, for that matter) all over the world. Despite being a tiny, tiny minority of the population, they have massive political clout with the American government. In comparison, women, the largest oppressed group in the world, have no political power whatsoever unless they put forth an agenda that supports men, thereby not acting on behalf of women at all.
Legal Power. Political and legal power are often confused. They can be present at the same time, and can even depend on one another. All forms of power can be interdependent, but it is not a given. Legal power can refer to that which a lawyer or legal professional has because of knowledge and training. But it can also refer to the power that comes from having one’s rights protected by law. In this way, citizens will have legal power over undocumented workers (the latter may or may not have political power over the former, however). A citizen also has legal power over a legal foreign worker. There is nothing like the threat of having one’s visa rescinded to keep someone under legal control. A diplomat has the legal power to commit whatever crimes he wishes without repercussions in his host country. Men have legal rights that women don’t have – in all countries. Men have massive legal power in cases of the sex crimes they commit, as the burden of proof is on the victim (woman) to prove that she has been violated, and often this is dependent on refuting irrelevant details about her character and behaviour. Men also have the legal power to define crimes that they commit and the rights that they have. Trannies (men who think they are women) are eroding the legal rights of women, and are so legally (as well as politically and economically) powerful that they are erasing women altogether.
So let’s get back to racism.
Racism can also be explained using the Oppressor Triangle with cock at the centre. The race that dominates in a geographical area will conduct business based on female oppression and have economic, political and legal power over other races. The dominant race isn’t automatically white. In many places, white people don’t even factor into daily life. The dominant race is based on economic, political and legal power and is controlled by men only. Racist behaviour will be committed by those with penises or racially motivated behaviour will be enacted by those who act on behalf of penises. So saying that only white people are racist is incorrect no matter how good it feels to arm oneself with that illogic. I’ll use an example based on my own years of experience – China. In China, the Han Chinese (about 20% of the world population; 90% of the population in China) are the dominant ethnicity (some feel they function as a race, however) and hold power over all other races and ethnicities within the Asiatic race living or visiting China. There are many poor Chinese, but there are many, many rich Chinese. China is actually a very rich country, with an unequal distribution of capital (like all other countries). They have economic power (and are actually fast overtaking Caucasians in the United States and Canada as the dominant race, economically, according to data). Within China, they are politically powerful – they dominate the government and have serious political clout around the world. And they have legal power – they dictate the laws that run the country and often break international law when negotiating with other countries. When dealing with whites, blacks, Arabs and other foreign and non-Chinese people in China, the Han Chinese dominate. The former hold no power over the Chinese economically, politically or legally. Even with some power (e.g., economic power), no non-Chinese will dominate a Chinese, unless it is a non-Chinese man over a Chinese woman. In a girl-on-girl scenario, a Chinese woman will dominate a non-Chinese woman with racially motivated behaviour, rather than outright racism, if backing a male agenda. Women can assist men in a racist agenda, but I am hesitant to hold women responsible for racism as racism is borne of misogyny. Like sexism, women can buy in and support cock domination and mandatory heterosexuality, but men are ultimately responsible. Learning to stop calling women ‘racist’ is similar to learning to stop calling women bitches and cunts. It is irresistible to hold women responsible for what men have created and perpetuate.
So in short,
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a male of a non-dominant race
- I care little about this as men fight each other over the right to rape all women. when you back the rights of an oppressed man, you will only end up exchanging one master for another.
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a female of a non-dominant race
- This is what I call ‘racist misogyny’ and is standard all over the world. It explains the ‘white whore’ phenomenon – the common occurrence white women experience when living and traveling in other countries and which no one wants to acknowledge.
- A male of a non-dominant race has racial power over a female of the dominant race.
- This phenomenon explains why white women almost NEVER report assaults and rapes by men of colour in their home countries. It also explains ‘sex tourism’ (aka ‘rape holidays‘), and rapes of local women (prostitutes and non-prostitutes) committed by visiting military personnel in foreign countries (i.e., white, black and hispanic American soldiers stationed in South Korea).
- Between women, there is no racism. There can be racially-motivated behaviour if the target behaviour is prompted by a heterosexual, male-dominated, anti-woman agenda. Otherwise, power is based on other sources (economics, politics, law, etc).
Given that women don’t create or perpetuate racism unless they are clearly working a male agenda of domination over females / woman-hate, it is not the responsibility of women to end racism, or subordinate themselves to members of other races. Racism comes from men and is based on rape and the control of women, their uteri and their spawn. When I see feminist conferences put racism on the agenda, I know I’m not dealing with radical feminists, even if they call themselves such. Women aren’t responsible for racism or cleaning it up. It is a male thing and men need to stop it. Once men let go of control of our cunts and uteri, racism will cease to exist. And organizing ‘feminist’ conferences and workshops in order to shame white women (only white women are shamed for what men of all races do to women of all races) is a fucking waste of female energy. Women aren’t the enemy, even if they often feel like it when they take on male agendas.
After a week of constant misogynist student comments, constant tit-ogling by my friendly neighbourhood construction workers, daily wonderment at how my male students were able to gain entrance into university and college (they are so fucking lazy and stupid, I can’t believe it!), daily racism and misogyny shit sandwiches by all and sundry – especially my neighbours and co-workers of three years, and on top of it all, 35°C (that’s 95°F to you, Yanks) every single day in both my workspace and home (no A/C!!!), the last fucking thing I needed was dealing with a commonplace street assault.
In China, it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your wife or girlfriend on the street in broad daylight. It is not quite as bad as South Korea or Thailand, where you can physical beat the bitch down to the ground with no repercussions (I’ve witnessed this in Thailand and tried to intervene once – a Japanese man stopped me – and a friend of mine lived in Korea and saw it all the time), but the Chinese-style woman-beat-down is an every day occurrence. I have a history of intervening in male abuse of women – moreso in my youth when I was stronger and dumber. No women have ever helped me (quite the opposite, actually), but that hasn’t stopped me from trying to help dumb-ass heterosexual women. I’ve learned, mostly. I don’t bother helping heterosexual women with their problems anymore. I fought for my own fucking freedom, and I continue to pay for my decisions because het women refuse to get on board in solidarity in the name of change and making female life better. Nothing has EVER in the history of the world been gained through waiting patiently – especially when it is waiting for people (men) to overcome their abusive tendencies and dumbassery. If you want freedom, you need to fucking fight for it, sometimes violently, especially if you don’t have money, or power in other areas of your life, or the right connections. So if you’re not going to fight, then you suck it up, and don’t whine about it. You only get to whine if you follow it up with action. So, I generally refuse to be sucked down into another woman’s problems for a number of reasons. Her boyfriend will try to hurt me – that’s a guarantee. She herself will almost always hurt me in response, she will usually choose the cock she is sucking and getting raped by over a friendly sister, and return to him after she uses me, and will end up supporting a system that *sort of* helps her (the cocksucker) and badly hurts me (the rebel). It’s the same philosophy I use in other areas of life, such as with my students. If students are lazy, selfish, and don’t give a shit about anyone (sometimes including themselves), I don’t bother with them. Only the ones who are willing to do the hard work get my support beyond what I am paid to do. My time and energy are fucking precious, so I bet on the winning horses. Blaming the victim? Well, fuck. At what point will we actually ask women to take some fucking responsibility, take some fucking risks? Men are not going to change until we force them to change, impose serious consequences for their actions, control them, kill them, or separate from them. Or some combination. Victimhood is real, but telling women to just accept things, or not to take risks, or not to self-examine is bullshit. Nothing will ever change until women take charge of their lives in serious and aggressive ways. If you need proof, look at the lack of change over the last several thousand years due to pussyfooting around the issue. I’m not an activist, but I don’t sit on my ass and wait for other people to save me while my self-serving, anti-woman actions end up hurting other women. I have some serious burdens that a lot of women don’t have, but I still take responsibility for my impact. And other women are in a better position to make positive change. But they don’t. So what the fuck?
But I couldn’t help it today. I just can’t fucking stand violent men getting away with their privileged bullshit. I came across the standard domestic abuse scenario on my way to the subway station. Two university students outside the gates of my school. The boy, twice the size of his girlfriend and much larger than me as well and less than half my age, had pulled her to the side of the sidewalk and had the ‘spiral fracture grip’ on her forearm that you see with sooooo many domestic abuse situations. He was lambasting her for something – probably he was jealous that she was talking to a friend or she didn’t wear the right skirt or something serious like that. She had assumed the submissive, childlike, head down pose that is recognizable across all cultures as ‘beaten, broken, abused woman’. It must have been the androcidal impulse in me that increases as the weather gets hotter. Men rape more in hot temperatures. I feel the urge to kill rapists much more in the summer. Go figure. But anyhow, I stopped and yelled, “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!” Didn’t even register to him. He was focused on his bitch. I moved more into his line of vision (I was walking on the road, not the sidewalk), and repeated my command. He turned to me in hatred and yelled, “FUCK YOU!” I yelled ‘fuck you’ back, but it was futile. He is the big man. And Chinese. So he has racism and sexism backing up his claim to power. I am just a white whore. Like an insect. My word means nothing. I have no power as a woman and especially as a white woman – a member of a powerless racial minority with a score of zero on the Oppressor Triangle™. He dismissed me with barely a look and returned to sexually abusing his girlfriend.
I walked on, androcide in my heart. There was nothing I could do. Not even the police would be interested in this kind of stuff. I know this well. I was dismissed before when I reported a black rapist racially profiling me, stalking me and demanding to come to my apartment to fuck (rape) me on our Chinese campus. My teaching liaison refused to contact the police. Rape and sexual assault are not matters for the police. I’ll be writing about China and its annoying mantra/euphemism on ‘harmony’ soon. Point is that women have no voice, no rights in China. But who are we kidding, women have no voice and no rights anywhere. In fact, it is getting worse for us in countries where women are supposedly ‘free’ (according to rapists, I mean men).
I managed to cool down some, gradually, but with racism and misogyny in full force over this past week, I’m having a very serious “I hate China” week and I am fantasizing non-stop of ramming chopsticks into male eye sockets. It brings me a little peace to think about it, but the fact that rapists aren’t dying in reality leaves me unsatisfied and frustrated.
The majority of my students are males, unfortunately. So there is a lot of stupid-ass crap that I am forced to listen to when I teach communication classes. I stand by my years and years of experience teaching in four different countries when I say that males are not as hot shit as they think they are. I also say that I constantly see evidence of males being given an easier time in school because of misogyny. Males use louder voices; larger size; highly disruptive and sometimes intimidating, infantile petulance; and humour or class clown antics to mask incompetence or stupidity, distract, garner attention, curry favour, and ultimately pull in student, teacher (and later employer) support. Most males succeed, not because of superiority on any level, but because of the attention (positive and negative) they demand of everyone around them. These behaviours are rewarded starting in infanthood, and carry on all their lives. Quieter, but superior, female students seldom are rewarded for their competence and have a harder time competing for attention when they are drowned out by their privileged princeling classmates.
And so I’m almost finished lengthy rounds of interviews/examinations with all my students. I’m testing listening and speaking skills. I don’t assign grades for viewpoints or whether I agree with them or not. It’s all about taught skills. I’m a master test administrator and designer. I’m pretty aware of my biases and am well trained in developing tests to measure the skills I’m interested in. But I will say this. There are boys I’d love to fail simply because they are misogynist douchebags. I reason to myself that males have destroyed and continue to destroy girls’ and women’s careers simply because they are female. I have many horrible memories of my experiences as a student with male teachers. The worst experience was as a senior undergraduate and the best in my graduating class. My alcoholic male thesis advisor (for whom I also managed a research lab to support myself financially) tried to fail me because I didn’t ask his unreliable, malicious, drunken ass to write me a letter of recommendation for graduate school. He gave me a grade so close to failing that he prevented me from attending a top tier graduate school because of this academic anomaly. As the head of my department, he was untouchable and all the other profs knew what he had done to me. They wouldn’t risk helping me, other than to write me kick-ass recommendation letter. But the damage was done. Yep! Men destroy women’s careers for no reason other than being female and refusing to suck their cocks.
But of course, I would never abuse my power like that. I’m a woman. I have integrity. And hell, freedom of speech (aka ‘let the rapists speak!’) or something like that.
So I wanted to report a few of the gems I heard during my testing. Out of the mouths of wanna-be rapists. And all of this was on my fucking birthday of all days. Sitting there listening to rapey male entitlement on my fucking birthday. Fucking fuckety fuck!!!
#1 Awesome Comment
One of my more bizarre and asocial males came in and proceeded to fuck up his examination with poor grammar and unimpressive responses to questions. The highlight occurred when I asked him to describe a national problem. He decided to broach the subject of the scarcity of females in his age group (around 20). My favourite question is always ‘why?’ so I asked it. He said that many males will not be able to ‘get a girlfriend’. I hear this ‘get a girlfriend’ all the time from my male students, and it always reminds me of object acquisition – get a car, get a new cell phone, etc. So again, I asked ‘why?’ Why is it a national problem if you can’t ‘get a girlfriend’? Apparently, the problem is not that 40 million girls were killed simply because they are girls. Nope. That is not a problem. The problem is that many boys are going to have to ‘turn gay’. See, if you can’t rape a bitch, then you’re going to have to stick your dick somewhere. Dicks must be serviced. Sorry, I don’t see a problem. I wish all men were gay and would keep their dicks out of women. But I didn’t say that to dude. I hope he finds a nice boy in the future. He doesn’t have the social skills to meet one of the rare girls here.
#2 Awesome Comment
One of my better students whipped out his chivalry on me. No, that is not a euphemism. Chivalry is actually a thing in China. It’s like medieval Europe, except girls are allowed to go to school and wear trousers. But there are all sorts of weird ideas about how to treat a lady which I find repulsive. And of course, chivalry leads to all sorts of gross female behaviour too (e.g., feigned helplessness and treating fellow females like absolute shit). Anyhow, my male student was answering some question I can’t recall now, and he started in about having to protect girls all the time. Why? “Because girls are weak.” Now, normally, when giving examinations, I do my best not to react to what students say other than to ask follow up questions or to ask them to repeat something. But I guess I didn’t react at all to this bullshit. So the male student followed up with “Don’t you think so???” I decided to say, very simply, “Absolutely not. Girls are not weak.” And then I moved on to the next question.
This kind of bullshit thinking is extraordinarily harmful. And it is a common belief in China. It is blatantly untrue. But I hear it all the time. A male Masters student tried to argue recently that males were a better choice for graduate students because women have no stamina or strength and can’t do as much work or survive on less sleep. WTF? Speaking as a chronic insomniac with two masters degrees and a fierce work load, I’d beg to differ. Who are the people who nurse babies, sick children, weak, whiny males, and disabled or old people through the night for years without fail? Um, women. For millennia, who has always had to get up earlier and go to bed later in order to service males who do the ‘important work’? Women. And who is doing better and working longer and harder in school these days? Females. Yeah, so fuck that noise.
I firmly believe that the bullshit fairy tales males tell themselves in order to keep women from succeeding and seeking independence and separatism are a result of the deep and threatening knowledge that males have of their own obsolescence.
A long, long time ago, men realized something.
They are next to useless. Essentially obsolete. There is almost no reason for their existence. And as scientific knowledge has progressed, we can correctly say that now, there really is no purpose for men. Women have the capacity to breed with other women. We don’t even need freeze-dried spunk or the jizz of farmed or jailed males to replicate anymore. Men know this, and especially lately, we are seeing backlash against women in all corners of the world by men and sometimes by women on behalf of men. Male violence increases as their self-awareness and fear of reality increases. Infantile violent backlash: classic male modus operandi. But it is not to be disregarded in the way that you might the temper tantrum of a toddler.
This male realization isn’t a recent one. Backlash has been coming in waves for eons. Early on, men realized that in Woman, all capacities existed. Unlike in themselves, nothing was missing. Any and every task could be completed by women, usually in less time, in a smarter fashion, and more efficiently. AND with less violence and cruelty. Men realized they were not creative beings in several senses.
Men have, more recently, called this natural, female self-sufficiency and strong capability ’emasculation’. In other words, the fact that women don’t need men at all is construed by men to be some sort of attack on maledom, itself. It is nothing of the sort. Women are women, and without intention or crafty malice at all, we are just capable of anything and everything. Without male interference. Sorry, dudes. We just don’t need you. You are obsolete. But you knew that and have known that for a long time.
How do we know men have long known this fact? By the sheer violence that they first unleashed upon us a long time ago and continue to unleash. By the continued enslavement and forced fear they imposed on us early on. By the current state of our sagging, wheezing, dying world. By the currently (male) defined and accepted definitions of what is good and what is bad.
In short, men try to deny and counter their obsolescence by creating reasons to exist. And the only way they can craft a pseudo existence is by creating problems. When there are problems, men get to work trying to ‘solve’ them (aka, create new problems). Don’t be fooled. All male solutions are new problems. To truly solve a real problem, no new problems would be created. And then the reality of male obsolescence would come crashing down again. By continued male existence, we absolutely guarantee that the world will continue to smoulder. Male creation is actually destruction. It is the only way they can be. Signing on to support males ensures that you support destruction – especially your own as a woman.
Problems men have created out of nothing to ensure their continued ‘worth’
Designing things and systems that defy Nature and the natural order and then trying to force them to work against all odds is the male form of creation (destruction). All of the following work together to ensure that men feel they are useful.
Overpopulation is the single worst thing to happen to the planet and to humans and ensures a male purpose in the quest to ‘solve’ the resulting problems. It is the most direct and most easily predictable outcome of female slavery by men. ‘Free’ women (no woman is truly free) in a male-dominated world tend not to breed at all or at very low rates, as having children in a male world is a form of slavery. A ‘free’ woman realizes that. So domination and indoctrination of females has always been the number one priority on men’s list of things to do. Slavery leads to forced breeding and over-breeding. And it is men’s proudest accomplishment in that it leads to a multitude of other created problems that men can pretend to work on and thus use to justify their existence. Overpopulation leads to overcrowding, unemployment, poverty, famine, conflict/war, health crises, pollution, poisoning of the world, lack of education, and a whole hell of a lot more. It is a juicy morsel of problems that can employ men on several levels as they create non-solutions (i.e., more problems). None of these problems can truly be solved until women are liberated from men – physically and mentally. Until then, they will continue.
Capitalism – or permission to abuse in name of self-interest – the ultimate reflection or manifestation of the immature, selfish and violent male ego, defies the natural order of human existence and creates a host of problems that allow men to create purpose for themselves. Capitalism absolutely CANNOT exist in the long-term unless some humans are enslaved. The longer it goes on, the more twisted it becomes. Capitalism cannot exist in a world that is equal or fair. In a capitalist system, a great deal of unpaid or underpaid labour must be performed in order to make it ‘work’. The point of this system is to create monetary wealth, and there is no such thing as monetary wealth if everyone has the same amount. Wealth is a relative term dependent upon what everyone possesses. Thus, you can’t be wealthy unless some people have little or nothing. In this case, the vast majority of the enslaved and those who possess little or nothing are women. Capitalism requires that a large number of people (women) live in poverty so that a minority (select sociopathic men of all races) can live in excess, and a larger minority (also mostly men, regardless of race) can live in relative comfort. Versions of capitalism exist in most parts of the world and transcends race, religion and culture. It is an economic system that pits male against female. It requires that ALL people believe that this is a natural thing, a natural order. It also requires ALL people to believe that it is possible to become one of those at the top. It is kind of like religion and the concept of heaven or nirvana. If you do the right combination of things, you can live the good (after)life. But it is a (male) fantasy. Many must suffer needlessly so that a few can self-indulge on a shameful level. But it is not natural. It is male-created. Men can only conceive of hierarchy and suffering. The idea that any person could live free of domination is beyond the male mind, despite the fact that freedom is actually the more natural state. Even male conceptions of equal societies (e.g., communism à la Marx) can never be realized as equal systems because they have been conceived by men and have been carried out by men. Men don’t allow equality or freedom to all, no matter what they say. Someone must always be enslaved to satisfy the male need to dominate.
Violence is a mandatory part of male existence, and paired with female enslavement and forced breeding, war and conflict are a constant. This is exciting for men because war creates jobs and a false sense of male purpose. There is absolutely no incentive for men to end conflict. 1) They lose a massive supply of rape fodder (‘enemy’ women and forced prostitutes in devastated areas). 2) Natural male bloodlust is satisfied. 3) Money is made off of war through the creation and fake-solving of problems. Take away conflict and men become useless. Look at the aftermath of WWII in North America. Women like my grandmother easily held down the home front. They found new purpose after being freed from mandatory rape and other wife/slave duties. They had jobs. They took over sports and entertainment. They renewed friendships with other women without men getting in the way and making demands. When men came back from war, they were lost with no purpose. They saw that women had easily gotten on without them. Men were not needed at all. So they solved this problem by displacing the women, brainwashing them once again, putting them back in the kitchens and laundry rooms, and forcing them to spread their legs and believe in ‘romance’ (hello Baby Boom – aka post-war-rape-babies).
Another part of mandatory violence is that men have created a protection racket. By legally allowing men to destroy women through rape and violence, men can sell their protection services to women as ‘love’ and ‘respect’, thus ensuring continued female slavery through marriage, and ensuring male jobs in the military, police force, and prison system. Take away the male right to rape, and women are free from violence and thus don’t ‘need’ men to protect them. Male-dominated society falls apart and men become obsolete when you take away women’s fear. But this will never happen. Men know this. War will continue. Rape will continue. Fear will continue.
Religion is the psychological glue that holds everything together and provides a justification for domination, violence, ignorance, poverty, female slavery, and every other problem that men create out of a need to feel needed. Religion justifies the creation of problems. Religion gives men validation and a sense of the right to exist despite evidence to the contrary. Religion is a male-created problem in and of itself. In the absence of or rejection of religion in a male’s life, he will naturally look to elevate other systems to that of religion. Science is a good example of this. While science is an objective and useful tool for acquiring knowledge, in men’s hands, it becomes a weapon against women and nature, and takes on the role of religion as the great justifier for violence through non-thinking and subjectivity (e.g., look at the fanatical zeal with which atheist men have elevated a non-science such as evolutionary psychology in order to justify rape).
Male thought patterns that help men deny their obsolescence
The concept of ‘doing something because it can be done‘ – also a male concept, and one that I hear constantly from the mouths of men – is anti-Nature and unethical. There is such a thing as crossing the line when it comes to human action and the pursuit of goals and knowledge. Harm tends not to be something that men consider – unless it is harm of oneself, and even then, the thought doesn’t always register since a slave woman is always there to pick up the pieces and make sure he survives and lives in comfort. As a result, most men don’t hesitate in crossing lines of harm in the pursuit of
knowledge glory, money, etc.
Competition – a male concept that men have tried to build into an argument based on Nature (Nature is handy for men at times, but not at others) – is actually unnecessary among humans who are living naturally in a woman-centred way. Men see competition as a natural thing in all areas of life that can justify some truly horrific things done to other humans and to justify forcing a large number of people (women) to live in deplorable ways. Human dignity, growth and advancement is not possible with the level of competition required in a male-dominated society.
Progress and growth – directly tied to capitalism – is the idea that something can come from nothing, and that success can only be defined as ‘more’. Ignorant and infantile and greedy, of course. Progress and growth are seldom realistic without line-crossing, serious human rights abuses, and environmental destruction.
My prediction is that as knowledge progresses, as women achieve on all levels, as more women chip away at the barriers to their liberation, the backlash from males will increase. Fear is a powerful thing, and the realization of one’s limited use on earth is something that can scare the most ‘manly’ of men. In fact, I would tell all women: the more violent a man is towards you, the more scared he is of you and the more he realizes how ineffectual he is. Not comforting news, I know. But that is why he is trying to hurt you. He is afraid of what you are and what he can never be. Stopping this misogynist bullshit is another matter altogether, however; and really should be addressed by women more seriously than it currently is.
Humiliation and shaming are important tools in the arsenal that men are handed at birth to be used mostly against girls and women. One of the fastest ways to get females to comply or to desist is to take a behaviour that has been forced on them and to make them feel dirty and evil for doing it. A super-nova mindfuck if there ever was one.
There are few countries more adept at passive-aggressive fuckery than China. It is an accepted practice in all environments to psychologically destroy people. Public shaming and humiliation – and the key part in a hive-mind culture is the PUBLIC part of this – is a well-loved tactic. When I lived in the Chinese countryside several years ago, I remember walking past one of the community bulletin boards. A communist leader had posted some photos that were part of the official government record and they told the story of several public humiliations. I wish I’d photographed the photos at the time – I wish I’d done that with a lot of the shit I saw in what I consider to be ‘real China’, the countryside, the China that most of the world never, ever sees – it seemed very medieval to me. In a nutshell, in each photo was depicted a person who was clearly some kind of criminal. A sign had been hung around their neck and they were stood in front of the community who all looked on. Public humiliation and shaming. Arrest wasn’t enough of a punishment. The people had to be made an example publicly. It is an extraordinarily effective form of punishment.
And it is commonly used on women.
In a recent post, Radical Witch pointed out astutely that in no country do cops take the harm and subjugation of women seriously. In fact, they often support it and participate in it. They are mostly men, working in an aggressive, power-driven field. They have everything to gain by destroying women. China is no different.
Some photos have come out demonstrating how the police treat prostitutes in China.
Prostitution is illegal in China. But like all males in the world, Chinese men love it, want it, use it, and publicly denigrate the fact that it exists, and more importantly, the women who become trapped in it. And prostitution is rampant. The government calls it illegal, but all officials use prostitutes during their meetings and official visits. And then, every once in a while, something like what is depicted in the photos above happens. Only men win here.
Several years ago, I was taking some Chinese classes, and I was talking to one British dude who worked as a chemist and a manager in a toxic chemical plant in Southern China. He was in charge of meeting with Chinese government officials in order to do health and safety checks. As he recalled one event, the officials showed up, completely hand-waved the inspections away, and waited for him to provide the food, drink and prostitutes. This is very, very standard for China. Revelry and debauchery on the public dime (rmb) and then signatures on crucial documents that are supposed to make sure workers have safe environments and that the environment is safe from human dealings.
So here is my question. Why the fuck don’t we start publicly humiliating men for the shit they do to women? And I mean serious public humiliation. As it is, public knowledge of a politician sending a dick pic or getting caught with prostitutes does nothing to stop him from further success – especially if he is religious. But let’s parade him naked in public. Let’s measure his dick on camera and make comments about its inadequacy. Let’s pose him in a degrading pose he forced upon the prostitutes he used and laugh at him. I mean seriously, if this stuff is acceptable and effective against women who have done nothing wrong other than try to survive in a world that hates them, I’m willing to try it on men – cops, politicians, CEOs, and hell, regular guys! – to stop their actual crimes. We’ll see how much longer they continue raping and murdering and torturing and threatening if there are actual, serious consequences for their actions.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Except in this case, it would be justified and reasonable. And fuck it, I love social experiments.
Are you a fan of Peter Pan? I am decidedly not. Most children’s stories and fairy tales are borne of the male mind and rife with misogyny and cock worship. Peter Pan is especially reflective of the male ‘creative’ mind; not only is it woman-hating, but it is highly androcentric and male dominant. But at least it is asexual (we all really want to be free and childlike) and is probably the most honest fairy tale out there regarding separatist fantasy and a scenario best suited to humans. This last part is the only part I could possibly claim to like. I strongly suspect that humans aren’t really designed to fuck or think about fucking 24/7, and thus, heterosexuality is much more socially constructed than most people believe – designed to keep women in submission and ensure that males survive. I think both sexes would breathe a sigh of relief if they found themselves completely and permanently sex-segregated and able to either be their natural selves: asexual (primarily) or homosexual. Women would be free, happy and would thrive, and men would be free, happy, but would ultimately self-destruct/die out. Male die-out and the extra services women provide to men for free are the only reasons, in my opinion, that men construct and enforce both heterosexuality and hypersexuality. There is nothing ‘natural’ about female dick-servicing or non-stop fucking.
But I digress.
Let’s get to one of the two primary female characters in Peter Pan: Tinkerbell. (I’ll refer to character descriptions from Disney fan sites here.)
Tink is a male construction of ideal female. She isn’t a girl, but a female tinker fairy. But everything she does shows how much she wants to be a real girl and to be included in and accepted by the humans. She is cute. She is dainty. She is feminine. She is feisty. She is devoted to cock supremacy. And she hates Wendy – the other primary female character, a human girl. She is incredibly “disgusted” and “irritated” with and “jealous” of Wendy and particularly nasty to her. Even “murderous”. She is very much like women are forced to be of, with and to each other in real life thanks to male socialization. Wendy is a soft, pretty, submissive ‘real girl’. Tink refers to her as an “ugly old girl”. She only comes to sort of ‘like’ Wendy when the latter fully submits and shows her loyalty to Tink and those who Tink values.
Does any of this male supremacist bullshit sound familiar?
Well, cue the Trans, the ultimate woman-hating, male supremacist characters. Let’s do some substitution and see how the comparison holds up.
M2T – those men who dress up in minstrelesque lady-face – are the ultimate male supremacists and play Tinkerbell to all other men.
Trans is a male construction of ideal female. They aren’t girls, but males. But everything they do shows how much they want to be real girls and to be included in and accepted by the real males and females. They try to do the cutesy thing. They try to be dainty. They try to be feminine. They act girl-feisty. They are devoted to cock supremacy. And they hate all females – the real human girls/women. They are incredibly “disgusted” and “irritated” with and “jealous” of females and particularly nasty to them. Even “murderous”. They act very much like women are forced to be of, with and to each other in real life thanks to male socialization. They serve to reinforce this forced socialization, in fact. Trans refer to oppositional, defiant real women as an “ugly old girl” (as well as fish, cis, cunts, etc.). They only come to sort of ‘like’ real women when the latter fully submit and show their loyalty to Trans and those who Trans value.
Here’s the thing though. Both Tink and Trans say that everyone must believe in them for them to exist. And while that might be true of the fictional fairy tale character, Tink, in fantasy land, it doesn’t hold for Trans. Trans still exist no matter what anyone believes. They are humans. They are males. We all know they exist in that respect. But their fragile delusions of womanhood don’t exist no matter how many people they can get to clap their hands and chant the Trans-mantra.
Male = Male. Forever. Times a million billion trillion.
There are so many reasons to hate capitalism, but at the top of the list is the requisite and abundant abuse of women. The abuse happens in several ways. One of them is through advertisements. As China has become more capitalist, the objectification of women has gotten worse. Woman-hate has always been there, as it is and has been in all cultures. It just manifests in different ways depending on politics, social system, economy, national history, etc. Capitalism, which is completely dependent on the abuse of women (and would collapse without it), offers men several new ways to hurt women. Using their images in abusive ways is just one.
As I’ve posted before (specifically here), China, like many places, sees white women as the ultimate whores. White female bodies are used to sell all sorts of products in China, but are especially useful for sex- and female-targeted (aren’t they the same? woman=sex) products.
The dismay felt today occurred when I walked past my local, 3-storey department and grocery store. A few times a year, they change the massive 2-storey-tall advertisements. And I noticed something. One of these ads is not like the others. Let’s see if you notice too. I present to you the current set of ads lining the outer walls of the largest shopping centre in my area.
Did you catch it? Did you notice which one was different? In case you can’t figure it out, let me help. There are two fully clothed, white dudes. Yeah, their styles are kind of effeminate, but that is actually quite normal for straight men in China. Chinese women will probably find these dudes attractive, I think. Then there are two white boy-children. Fully clothed with the ‘too cool for school’ look on their faces. Chinese people will find them acceptable. Then we’ve got a Chinese adult male. Slick, respectably dressed. This dude will command respect. And to be honest, I’d actually wear that outfit. Then we’ve got a young Chinese woman. Fully clothed (hard to see, but there is a tan-coloured shirt under all the red outerwear). She’s young and a cool up-and-comer. Timid, but part of China’s future.
And then we’ve got the White Whore. Dressed in clothes that are the very symbol of female slavery, humiliation, degradation, and inhumanity. Dressed in next to nothing in a culture where uncovered women are only seen as garbage to be used by men. This is part of the dual message that comes through in the advertising. “This is Woman – specifically White Woman – and she should be used, but not respected.”
All over the world, including China, white women are the object of choice for advertising lingerie, wedding rings, condoms, and other woman-as-sex-object items. I face these images of what are essentially representations of ME every single day, and it always occurs to me how much these images and their evil messages are internalized by everyone around me. We know these marketing devices work, otherwise we wouldn’t have advertisements at all. People have degrees in this shit from business schools. Marketing sends messages. So when I encounter people after they are daily bombarded with the ‘white woman as whore and nothing else’ message, how am I supposed to garner respect? How am I supposed to be seen as human? All they see when they look at me and other white women is some sex-crazed, fuckable property of white men. It scares the shit out of me, and I fucking hate it.
This is the intertwined racism and misogyny of China.
[This post is part of the White Girl series.]
Because it doesn’t happen a lot, every time I make a new female friend who doesn’t immediately turn out to be a complete raging misogynist, I cheer inside. And often out loud, too. With a happy dance. Female friendship should be cheered. And cherished. Unfortunately, the opposite is true in most corners of the world. Women are trained from birth not to invest in other women. That would undermine patriarchy and threaten their relationships with men.
On the whole, it is really hard to connect with Chinese women. First, I am ‘other’, so engaging with me is seldom something they pursue. They (the women) do violent things me and say mean things to me, oh yes they do. The women are often more aggressive to me than the men, and friendly engagement is rare. This is borne of the divisiveness created by patriarchy that keeps women from bonding. And as I don’t comply with femininity, I am further ‘othered’. With the really young Chinese women, they are usually wrapped up in shopping and beauty products and obsessing about boys and double eyelid surgery (all of which repulses the hell out of me) – and occasionally with studying really, really hard (which I fully support). And come mid-20’s, almost all women are sucked into mandatory nuclear family life. All women, including lesbians, are forced into the drudgery and humiliation of finding a husband, popping out a kid or two, and then enthusiastically embracing the lifetime of slavery that goes with that. It’s not unique to China. All cultures either force or coerce women into the family track through some means. I oppose the family structure because it is designed specifically to isolate and disempower women and to place female friendship and support and the possibility of professional networking at the very bottom of their priority list. It doesn’t work that way for men – quite the opposite actually. Family is a disastrous (male) invention that makes men’s lives easy and destroys the lives of women. But I’ve managed to cultivate a few friendships with Chinese women despite all this. They probably have greater meaning for me than for them, however, given my existence outside the family system and my wish to connect meaningfully with women.
One new friendship is with a lecturer at my university. We crossed paths as we use the same classroom – my class is immediately before hers. She did her Masters degree in Canada, so she has no hesitation about speaking with foreign people, unlike most Chinese who can’t even be bothered to say ‘ni hao’ to me or return my smile (which I gave up on a few years ago). And we have other things in common. We both have backgrounds in statistics and methodology and in addition to our scientific creds, also have degrees in the realm of management.
We got together for lunch yesterday, and even though my new friend told me right off the bat that she is a ‘traditional person’, I really didn’t feel that was entirely true. First off, she has a PhD (more education than her husband) and is currently looking for international opportunities to further her career. That doesn’t sound so traditional to me. Yes, she has several standard heterosexual views that almost all woman hold due to social conditioning, but I find her rather open-minded and reasonably rational for a woman from a very rigid culture in the clutches of dictatorship. I think her international experience really helped broaden her perspective (e.g., she had a gay masters advisor in Canada). And it was really easy to have a discussion on issues while holding sometimes differing views. Honestly, it was the most open face-to-face conversation I’ve had in… years?
I learned a lot of fascinating things during our lunch, but there is one thing I want to talk about in this post. The whole male child obsession.
There is new propaganda out in China about ‘girl children are important, toooooo’. It’s mostly bullshit, but the government is panicking about the backfiring of their population control policy and the disastrous effects it has had years later. And the panicking isn’t due to regrets or fighting misogyny. It is still all focused on male privilege. Let’s spell out what happened clearly.
- China’s population was exploding due to female slavery.
- The government decided to control the explosion by limiting families to one child (with exceptions).
- Like anyone but an idiot might expect, a culture built on woman-hate automatically gravitated towards that single child being a boy.
- Illegal sex determination testing was carried out by all people who could pay for it and many female fetuses were aborted. If people couldn’t afford the testing, they often abandoned or killed female newborns once the nasty surprise was born.
- A few short decades later, and the country is missing 40 million females.
- And note that the crisis is not that females have been killed, but that there now isn’t enough cunt to allocate to all of the males who were allowed to live.
- Boys must have access to pussy! What are we to do!!!!???? Oh no!!!!!
Now, it would be great to shit all over China for the horrors done to girls. But you know what? If you implement this population control policy anywhere in the world, the exact same thing would happen. There is no country in the world where boys aren’t worshipped and girls hated. When push comes to shove, given the choice between breeding a future rape victim or a future rapist, 99.9% of people would choose the rapist. Some of them might delude themselves into thinking they can produce a ‘good one’, but the fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as a good one. There are just entitled ones who ALL benefit from the threat all women live under. A male doesn’t have to rape to benefit from rape. Men (and most women) don’t get this. At all.
Despite being ‘traditional’, my new friend and I got into a good discussion of marriage and male privilege and the whole mandatory breeding thing in China. Women cannot escape from marriage and breeding. It is unthinkable and undoable. Even ‘out’ lesbians, the few that there are, are hounded by the government (in addition to friends and family) to submit and do their duty. Your twat and portable incubator belong to us and all the men in the country!!! And regardless of the deceptive ‘pro-female baby’ campaign, even educated people are still lusting after sons. We discussed a few examples from my friend’s life that made for some depressing food for thought.
In particular, she mentioned one of her closest Chinese friends. Someone she described as at the top of her career, accomplished, smart, talented – a great woman. But of course, she is married. She is also 43 and is now pregnant. This hit me very personally – I am 43 and can’t imagine wanting to be pregnant at this age. Anyhow, this woman had a daughter years before, but her husband is desperate for real human progeny – I mean, a son. So he badgered her. And the threat is that if this intelligent, accomplished woman doesn’t bear this asshole a son, he will leave her. [Me? I say ‘good riddance’. There is no reason for an economically independent woman to stay with a rapist-abuser.] And she relented. Being 43, she has been forced by Husband-Dickface into putting herself at great risk of death and endless physical and psychological complications, disfigurement, and/or permanent injury. Less important, but still worth considering, she is at high risk of having a child with any of a number of problems – which, as the mother, she will be solely responsible for taking care of. But Cock must be satisfied. He has absolutely nothing to lose in this narcissistic frivolity. The bitch must put out, or she will be tossed aside like garbage. I am positive that Cock will pay the money for an illegal sex determination test, and any defects (aka ‘femaleness’) detected will be aborted toot sweet.
My lunch companion then entered into the standard het-female spiel about her special Nigel (I need a Chinese equivalent for a special snowflake, can-do-no-wrong male partner – I may use the the popular name, Ming – 明 – ‘not my Ming’). She said that her husband wants another child, but she is 38, and she said she didn’t want to have another because she is getting too old, and um, she is an accomplished woman moving up in her career. He has given in. So of course, he is the Best Husband on Earth™. But I asked her, do you have a son or daughter? Wait for it… She has a son! Ding ding ding!!! If she had a daughter, her super special Nigel/Ming probably wouldn’t have let her get off so easily.
But she chooses to see his giving in as some superior quality, rather than only relenting because he already has what he wants – a son. And this kind of rationalizing preserves the hetero marriage paradigm, not just in this case but all over the world. Women need to find examples, even the tiniest shred, of positive male behaviour in order to justify their slavery. And cookies (in the West) and dumplings (in the East) are prepared and showered upon husbands and boyfriends for not hurting them. That day. That moment. This is the trap all heterosexual women fall into and it is what will keep het relationships (and male privilege, including forcing women to produce sons) safe until the end of time. Turning the whole ‘he could do x, y, z to me, but he chooses not to’ into ‘he’s a perfect male specimen’ is a defense mechanism. Is that not creepy or scary to you? The implication always is with men that they are choosing not to do something to you AT THAT MOMENT, but it could change at any time. The threat of what could be done with impunity is what keeps all women in line.
But I get it. I don’t like it, and personally, I made my life infinitely more difficult by NOT supporting heteronormative slavery through not getting married and breeding. But not all women have the fight in them needed to resist, or in the case of rigid cultures like China, the mindset to rebel. But, separate from my personal life choices, I like this woman just as I like all my enslaved female friends. We don’t have to agree on how to survive in this world.
So, I ended that conversation with an emphasis on the importance of female friendships and support. That might be a topic for another post as I gained some insight into debunking a stereotype that Western women have of non-Western women (specifically the myth that the latter have stronger female bonds because they are family- and group-think-oriented).
Yeah, this is a rant. Not light, and not short. Warning given. Proceed at your own risk 😉
I don’t drink that much. Alcohol has long been associated with abuse, fear, and rape for me, so I stay well away from drunk men, drinking with men I don’t know or trust (which is, at this point, every single one of them), and places where people drink. In my experience, you severely raise the risk that not only will something bad happen to you, but also that you won’t have a leg of credibility to stand on when (not if) something happens to you. This is women’s reality. Alcohol provides men with an excuse for their criminal behaviour, and takes away from women everything including the slightest shred of believability or humanity.
I almost completely limit my alcohol consumption to the occasional bottle of foreign red wine (decent alcohol is very expensive in China), and I’m such a light weight that it can last me for 3 days. And it does the trick, it dulls my depression and makes me forget the worst parts of living in China. Temporarily.
But in the last few years, there is one other time that I have a few drinks, and that is the two or three times a year that I go out socially with this piece of shit, 61-year-old, white, British, male misogynist whom I’ve tolerated because a) he is a rare atheist, and b) he is a colleague and unfortunately, one of my few ‘allies’ (wrong word) where I work. I’ve described this douchebag before.
I was much less enraged three years ago when I first met DB (douchebag). I tolerated his mansplainy narcissism. And this is a topic for another post, but even though every country’s males have their own unique brand of misogyny, there is something I absolutely fucking hate about British men. I’m not sure if it is my perspective as a women from the “New World”, but I find men from “Old World” countries (Western or Eastern) have a very deep-seated, centuries-old, traditional misogyny that you don’t see in places like Canada, New Zealand, Australia or even the US. It’s not specifically religious. It’s something else. A colonizer mentality. And there is some left over colonial, British Empire attitude that sits in the DNA of British men – the men who raped, conquered and held hostage half the world and left destruction in their wake. The somewhat subdued, historic pomposity of British men is, in many ways, more obnoxious than the loud, superhero, dumb jock, ‘we’re number one!’ ignorance of modern American men. It’s hard to explain. And I will say that I don’t see any of that in comparing the women of both worlds, except perhaps in how they rationalize their slavery. But of course, women don’t colonize. They don’t attack, invade, rape, pillage, kidnap, infect, kill, or any of that, in the name of discovery, conquering, ‘civilizing’, taming, nationalism, or claiming one’s birthright or cockright. I like British women just as I like American women and any other women from any place. Individual women may pose problems, but as a class, they are not the enemy.
So anyhow, after my first week swimming in Chinese semen, I had planned a strategic Saturday outing with DB. Not for fun. I needed crucial information related to my job. I figured I’d get this toxic event out of the way and be safe from further exposure for months – perhaps even for the rest of the semester.
When out with DB, there is alcohol. He is a fucking fish. An alcoholic (like most older men who come to China). He jokes about going to class everyday having to mask the smell of alcohol consumed the night before leaking out of his pores with his sweat. I usually have a few drinks while I’m on these outings with DB because it helps me suffer through his grossness.
But on this recent outing, I discovered a more practical and useful side effect. I found courage.
I am really good at defending other people – women especially – but I am horrible at defending myself or having general debates. I’m not an orator. I prefer to think, mull, and write, rather than have a verbal discussion. I’d also rather avoid men who disgust me than get into arguments with them about things they don’t understand and that involve my human rights and their male privileges. Once the insanity starts, I tend to close down and fantasize about killing them. But on Saturday, after a few drinks and in the feminist frame of mind I’ve been in, especially recently, I was ready for a fight of the verbal sort. I mean, I still sat there for much of it imagining a clean shot put between DB’s eyes. But verbally, I trounced that fucker, and did it using his own (and all men’s) low-blow and aggressive techniques against him. And those techniques mostly involved interrupting. Shutting down his irrelevant lines of thought before he could complete them. Dismissing his rebuttals. Derailing his derail attempts. Refusing to defend myself and my claims. Keeping on the attack rather than the defense. Basically, I treated him as he has always treated me – as men always treat women. And it worked. It didn’t gain me respect necessarily, and it didn’t feel ‘natural’ to me, but it shut him up. Instead of the male voice, I eventually got silence. Blessed silence. The male voice, silenced. He gave up trying to dominate me and forcing me to back down and agree to his misogynist viewpoint. He took on the pouty, abused, ‘is-is-is she saying no to me?’ look that some men get when women speak with authority or righteous anger. Didn’t stop me. I firmly believe that women can’t ever win or be heard or make men shut up unless they use the ‘master’s tools’ against the masters themselves. Men don’t understand anything but aggression. Reasoning doesn’t work. Appeals to logic or empathy or humanity don’t work. But a good beating, verbal or physical, coupled with shaming, do. It’s what they do to us. I get so tired of women refusing to see that taking the high moral ground will never, ever make men stop their abuse of us. Even men’s request for ‘educating’ aren’t true or real, but women fall for it every time. That derailing technique works every time. Women’s energy derailed and stolen.
Not until you become more self-aware do you realize how much woman-hate is organic to conversations with men. Almost everything men say smacks of misogyny. But we don’t notice, or we laugh along, or we get nervous, or we have already tuned out and are nodding and smiling in boredom. When you become self-aware, it is horrifying how nasty and ignorant men are. And they remain unopposed by all men and almost all women. Honestly, I should have brought a massive fucking misogynist bingo card with me. This guy hit almost every stupid point that men come up with when trying to assert their dominance and entitlement/’rights’. It was trope central. And standard to pretty much all British men, even the young ones, he kicked it all off with basic fighting words: “mankind“. And it went on from there. Here are only a few of the highlights:
Religion, not men, caused gynocidal events in history
DB is a history buff (male history) and he is both a China apologist and an atheist. China can do no wrong and is superior for not being a religious country (except that traditionalism is a form of religion – a topic for another post). DB loves dictatorships and censorship (as long as HE is free to do what HE wants, that is).
I had pointed out that the two worst events in the history of humans: 1000 years of footbinding in China and 300 years of witch burnings and torture of women in the West. DB immediately leapt in with a condemnation of religion. I cut him off. Nope. That doesn’t explain footbinding. I just kept repeating: “Men did it. Male hatred of women. Misogyny.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Dumb people need repetition. And you can list all the horrific gynocides throughout history – DUE TO MEN. The 6-week rape-fest in Nanjing, China by the Japanese. Not religion. Men. The perfection of what we now know as the ‘concentration camp’ by Winston Churchill and Lord Kitchener used on Afrikaner women and children. Not religion. Men. Cruise through time. Make notes. Men have done it all to women. Men. Men. Men. To women. Women. Women. And it seldom makes the history books or history class curricula.
Chimps trade meat for sex
Atheist men fucking LOVE LOVE LOVE evolutionary psychology as a tool to try to justify their love of rape and domination. Atheist men hate you too, ladies. This particular stupid douchebag doesn’t have a single course in science. He doesn’t even have a college degree. Through some weird British educational loophole, this idiot was let into a Masters program in something that was decidedly not science, WITHOUT an undergraduate degree. But he loves to try to school ME in science, a women with post graduate education in science, published articles in science, research in science, and teaching experience in university scientific methodology and statistics. And like most atheist men without an understanding of science, he trots out debunked evo-psych bullshit based on male confirmation biased interpretations of animal behaviour (anthropomorphize much, rapists?) to support his love of rape and prostitution. Dumbass. Anyhow, I shut that fucker down before he could actually finish his first sentence as I saw it coming a mile away. I said, “Debunked. Non-science.” To derail me, he tried the male trick: where is your proof? I said, “Google it.” You prove it. Science, my scientific ass.
Good things always come from war
Nothing smacks of male privilege like dismissing the effects of war. History is basically the male masturbatory recounting of wars. It is also the dismissal of the female experience, the erasure of female existence. So men, when they start jizzing over how fucking awesome a battle was, or how fucking awesome the world became due to some war, they forget one tiny thing. Women are the overwhelmingly large majority of victims when there is war or civil unrest. I was reading a psychological site on PTSD in women, and they cited the statistics that during civil unrest and warlike conditions, women comprise up to 80% of the victims (general victims, not PTSD victims, specifically). Men can’t see this because they only see soldier mortality as victimhood. What they forget are the women civilians killed. And that victimhood isn’t just death. Rape is rampant during any kind of uncivilized event. Men don’t get raped. Women and girls are raped. And tortured and injured and killed. They are raped and killed by the enemies. They are raped and killed by the men on ‘their side’. Women are the largest group of victims during unrest.
As for the good things that come from war? WTF? Is the world a better place when war is concluded? Not for women. And no aftermath is worth all the loss and suffering. Any freedoms or benefits usually go to men and boys. For women, it is business as usual. The only war I can imagine resulting in something good is one where women stand up for their rights, physically fight, and win over men. Liberation for women is the only cause that makes sense for me because every current ill in society results from women’s oppression. Liberating women would help alleviate all human problems as well as environmental, animal, and food/water problems.
We then moved on to:
If we don’t do it, someone else will
Men are positively obsessed with progress and growth. This is the only way they define success. Progress and growth are seldom logical or reasonable and always come with a high cost. A cost that is paid by women and girls.
There is no such thing as creating something out of nothing. There is no such thing as ‘bottomless’ or ‘without limit’ when men seek success. The male demand for more and more is only possible if you tread on the rights and humanity of others – the least powerful. The least powerful are women, so they get less so that more is produced. So women are paid less for the same job. They work more in order to produce more. They are removed from their homes and made homeless so that buildings and structures they will never benefit from can be erected. They suffer through wars and environmental disasters and medical atrocities. Just so men can achieve ‘progress’ and ‘growth’. And I’ll add recognition and power to that list.
I suggested to DB that there are several lines that should not be crossed, whether it is in science or any endeavour. His answer? If we don’t do it, someone else will. We can’t let the other guy get there first! And I hammered him. “What a shitty, amoral excuse for evil behaviour.” This guy swears he is not a capitalist.
The world is safer than it has ever been
For men? Yes. Definitely. Not so much for women. Men don’t have a clue what safety issues are. And how much do you love it when men try to tell you that you are perfectly safe now. I mean seriously, fuck off. They have no idea what women think about, worry about, and have to do in order to get from Point A to Point B.
His measure of safety is that we have longer life spans. Yeah. That’s it. Longer life spans. What an incredibly nuanced way to look at safety.And I told him so. Did I also mention that I have worked in forensics as an analyst? I have worked with an FBI consultant on serial rape data. I have worked with police departments on workplace violent crime. I have also worked in the health field on medical errors research.
In what world does living a long life mean that you have lived free from danger? That you haven’t almost died? That you don’t suffer from fear or trauma or anxiety due to living in a crime-filled, corrupt world of danger for women?
They’re trying to criminalize johns and let prostitutes…!!!
We’d already covered the chimps, meat and sex bullshit, and the world is a safer place bullshit. So why not move into trying to shut down the male right to rape?
I jumped on this one before he even finished his sentence of outrage. There is nothing I hate more than men telling me that they have a right to stick their dicks into women, or that women ‘choose’ lives of rape and degradation over health and happiness. So I derailed him. I said, “Yes!!! Finally!!! The Swedish model is the best thing to happen in a long time. Finally, we can take away men’s right to rape and finally, we have a fighting chance in hell to reduce male violence against women, misogyny, and endless rape – all of which increase when prostitution is legal. I launched into the cold reality that prostitution ONLY exists when men refuse to allow women the means to support themselves properly. We have prostitutes because women are poor. That’s it. Holding women severely economically disadvantaged positively ensures that women will be forced to sell their bodies and ensures that men have a constant supply of enslaved cunt to rape.
I didn’t allow any response from DB. There is no response to this issue that isn’t dripping in pro-rape, pro-poverty, male privilege and psychopathy. Did I mention that this guy is NOT a capitalist? Right. Unless it’s something he wants sold for his pleasure as a male.
But but but the Women’s Movement was successful
I mentioned that women-only social justice movements are never allowed to succeed. Only when men’s rights are at stake, do they succeed. And they do so mostly because they have women’s free labour supporting them. Women don’t receive the backing of men when it is their turn. And he came out with the ‘right to vote’ success. Most men don’t know anything about the herstory of women’s struggles. And of course, any successes that occur are assumed by men to have been the single purpose of the struggle. When women won the vote, that was not the whole point of the movement. It was actually a decades-long struggle for several legal rights, one of which was the right to vote. Following backlash from men and possibly exhaustion from that landmark achievement, the women’s movement lost some steam. They didn’t achieve most of what they had set out to do. Would I call the First Wave a success? Not entirely. It wasn’t a failure, but it wasn’t a roaring success in the way that all male movements have been.
It’s time to start looking for a Chinese wife
Speaking of prostitution and male privilege… As an over-60, DB has overstayed his welcome in China. The Chinese who, in addition to being sexist and racist, are also ageist. They love Chinese old people, but the foreign people who stay for decades diligently and devotedly educating their youth? Nope. Once you hit 60, you’re tossed to the curb. There is no pathway to residency. There is no pension for foreigners. No ‘thank you’ for your service. You’re out.
Unless you are a man. Foreign males can find local pussy, convince them to marry (which is pretty easy to do), and then stay forever on the equivalent of a green card. This isn’t really an option for foreign women. First, Chinese men, like Western men, want subservient wives and baby factories. Besides, Chinese men only see us as whores. Something to fuck, but not to ‘respect’ in the form of a slave relationship (marriage). Second, most Western women who come to places like China are either already enslaved or they are the most independent women from what are independence-embracing countries. They aren’t looking for a slave-arrangement. So this dealio works well for men who have no problem owning a slave. But it is not an option for women.
The only other way to stay is if you are extremely well connected with someone in government who can ‘arrange’ an illegal visa if you have the money. This is rare. I think about all the people, including those from China, we let stay forever in Canada, despite having little or nothing to offer, and I think about devoting my education and talent to a place like China and their complete disrespect for my years of service and their abuse while I am employed with them. Mind-boggling. There is no reciprocal arrangement between our countries.
Anyhow, DB is 60 or 61 and he has been told that he will be kicked out of China next year. He is joking now that it is time to find a Chinese wife. Who knows, he might just do that.
There is actually a lot more here to tell, but this is long enough. My bingo card was full by the end of things. And I raged for days. Even though I put this douchebag in his place, thanks in part to the liquid courage of a couple of G&Ts, I spent the following week calming down. When it really hits you full force how much a dude you have known for a while hates women, and by definition, you yourself because you’re a woman, you rage. You rage. You rage. And just think, even your Nigels (if you have one) are the same. Maybe he has different words and tactics, but the woman-hate and privilege is in there. Waiting. Waiting for you to oppose him in some way. Deny him what he feels is his ‘right’ (but which is only a male privilege) and you’ll find out how much your sweetie ‘loves’ you. The truth is these assholes walk the planet taking what they want. They are not used to hearing ‘no’ and having to abide by it. They don’t respect ‘no’ in the way that women do. They are given more than you (more money, more respect, more space, more consideration, more understanding, more freedom, more safety) despite their inferiority simply because they have dicks. So, while I felt a victory – and it was important one, personally – it came with a price and it changes nothing about how the world works. I stopped a dick mid-swing, but unless it is cut off completely, it will live to swing another day, knocking down all women in its path.
Filed under the Conversations with Men series.
I have a very strange internet friend whom I’ve ‘known’ for a long time from years ago – back when I was a serious researcher doing serious research and not frittering my life and spirit away in China. We collaborated on a short project online, but we have never met in person. At this point, this acquaintance’s role has morphed into one of sending me occasional stories of ‘how fucked up China is’. News of the weird. Of human rightsy weirdness. Bizarre deaths resulting from Chinese neglect. That kind of thing.
The thing is, I KNOW ALREADY. I live here. I experience bad and weird things here all the time. I don’t bother to comb through alt-media sites or even mainstream Western media for Chinese fuckery because the day-to-day stuff that I see in situ is bad enough.
When you come from a country where there are *sometimes* consequences for abusing power – or at least the pretense of consequences – or at least mechanisms and bodies set up to deal with power abuses – it is hard to imagine it working otherwise in other places. So Westerners can’t understand that if they go to China, if anything untoward ever happens to them, there will be nothing whatsoever that can be done. Unless you have managed to get very well connected with powerful people, that is. And the majority of Western people – or any foreign worker, for that matter – are extremely vulnerable to abuse because they aren’t connected. Newbie Western workers will often try to fight what has happened to them with logic or human-rightsy arguments that usually start with: “This would never happen in MY country.” And they might be right. Maybe. It might happen, and you might be lucky to have a way to fight it. There is definitely more of a chance of fighting it in the West. But in China, you learn very quickly that anyone can do anything to you at any time. And you are not allowed to say anything about it. Even contract agreements between you and the Chinese only apply to you. If you don’t live up to the contract they can do what they want to you. But as a Chinese, they can break the contract every single day. You can complain if you want. And they will ignore you. And they might fire you because you don’t take abuse well. Their firing techniques are almost always passive-aggressive, subtle manipulation. It is actually the exact mentality behind Western men complaining about Western women. The whole “I love Asian women” phenomenon. Western women believe they have rights as humans. Most men don’t like that, and some will go East to find the perfect docile slave.
Many of the younger Westerners who come here are ‘liberal’, so they don’t usually complain, and may often make excuses for the Chinese (aka ‘apologism’), because they hold the Western mentality that the Chinese are oppressed – which isn’t actually true anymore in the West, nevermind the East. It’s the older white (and usually incompetent) male who comes here for a pussy and booze free-for-all who gets very angry and loud when he isn’t treated like a member of the dominant race. And both groups are delusional, by the way.
The Chinese are the dominant and the majority race. And China is very patriarchal. And it is still a system that is run as a dictatorship. And with that combination, you get very serious racism, very serious misogyny, and no concept of human rights whatsoever. There is no such thing as a race-motivated crime. There is no such thing as a crime against women. And there is no such thing as workers’ rights or human rights abuse of any sort.
It is hard for many Western people to wrap their minds around that non-Western reality.
I once read a disturbing, but amusing (because I could understand it on a personal level) little essay written by a long-time foreign resident in China about the stages foreigners go through when first living in China. It was written by a man, and thus didn’t take into account that China is much easier for men to deal with for a number of reasons. But I still recognized some of the elements in it. The whole essay reminded me of the grieving process one goes through when dealing with a death – starting with anger, moving through depression, and eventually resolving with acceptance of reality. It was troubling to realize that living in China was so similar to dealing with a serious loss such as a major death, but it is actually very much like that if you stay long enough. Living in China really does mean giving up your personhood or identity. It is a death of sorts. Whether you can be reborn or whether you remain living as the undead, is another thing entirely and is dependent upon either having your mind and spirit broken completely and thus becoming open to brainwashing or being able to escape most of the mundane Chinese abuse through obtaining an elitist kind of job with super-high pay.
I’ve thought about this a lot. Many sociologists and cross-cultural researchers paint this simplistic black-and-white picture of individualistic cultures and group-based cultures. And of course, the former are painted as evil and latter are somehow superior. But I think this conclusion, and the whole type-of-society dichotomy are not quite right. I actually find the Chinese to be much more individualistic and self-centred and heartless in some ways that I have not been able to explain (until recently) using the group-think or collectivist society model. Likewise, that model hasn’t explained the countless examples of supposedly average, individualistic, selfish Americans and other Westerners relentlessly donating their time and money to humanitarian efforts or to helping random people on the street. You may not see this if your knowledge of China has come solely from movies and the news, but given how much time I’ve spent in non-Western countries, I’ll tell you how jarred I am by how much positive and pro-social interaction there is between strangers in the West. Every time I return, I get freaked out. Strangers helping strangers. Hell, strangers talking to strangers. You never, ever, never, ever see this in China. Ever. Ever. People don’t even say ‘thank you’ here. But that is a post for another time. I have developed my own theory as to this individualism vs group-based society phenomenon.
My point is that to survive in China, you can’t see yourself as a person in the Western sense. And most people are not able to see themselves as a person in the Chinese sense. It’s not a great way to live. Undead.
I haven’t written in a while simply because my first two weeks back at work have been a racist, misogynist fuck-fest. There has been plenty of Chinese bullshit and some Western male bullshit, too.
The first day of class involved university officials and photographers stopping by my class to photograph me while teaching. I’m never allowed to say ‘no’ to anything they do to me, and in this case, they will use my image for their greedy capitalistic and political purposes. (See! We have foreign staff! Come to our university!!! Pay our tuition!!!) Like a porn contract, you sign on the dotted line, and that means they can do whatever they want to you after that (don’t worry, I’m not equating teaching with porn… I’m telling you that the Chinese mentality is the porn producer’s mentality).
I spent the week correcting the grammar of misogynist sentences produced by my male students, which was fucking awesome and not a mindfuck at all!
And the second week saw a quiet, moneyless payday – and an announcement from the university that they had no intention of paying us this month for last month. They announced to us that the pay schedule will change (again). Now, they are going to start paying us TWO WHOLE MONTHS after the start of each pay period. We get paid monthly, the pay date has been pushed further and further away from the pay period each year that I have been with this university. And now, work that I do on March 1st won’t be paid until April 30th. What??? I am not allowed to protest this. They have implemented worse abuses in past years – like breaking my contract and quadrupling my work load for no extra pay. The foreign staff has protested individually, but as Chinese, they give excuses and end up doing what they want to us. This new payment policy actually feels very much like one of the passive-aggressive Chinese punishments. They may be looking to clear out foreign staff by implementing abusive policy, so they can bring in new, naive people whom they can pay less.
This happens all the time. I’m used to it. There is nothing ‘fair’ about the Chinese. It may surprise you to know that this is the best place I’ve ever worked in all the years I’ve been in China. At least these employers don’t chain the staff into our residential building every night like my last employer did. Nobody could get in or out except the key master. The Chinese didn’t understand why the Western staff had a problem with that. A simple, humane solution to the ‘grave danger’ looming over our building would be to install a key card or coded key pad entry system. But that would cost the Chinese money. The Chinese don’t like to spend money.
But the worst of these first two weeks back was actually dealing with a horrible, British, male acquaintance/co-worker and his disgusting misogyny last Saturday. I’m still reeling from it. Unfortunately, I need to stay ‘friendly’ with this asshole, as one really needs allies when you’re working for the Chinese. The Chinese deliberately try to keep Western people in the dark and misinformed and isolated on several levels so that we remain powerless and disorganized. Because foreign workers are ALWAYS abused, it is really key to have as many allies as possible – even if they are assholes. Information needs to be shared since it is so hard to come by, and sometimes protests must be done as a group or at least in numbers. But the cost of being friendly with jerks can be really hard, and the deeper I get into feminism, the harder it is to deal with men who don’t see me as a full human.
I’m going to write about this asshole. It’s one of those things that ended up being successful in my mind even though it didn’t and doesn’t necessarily feel like it. I’m glad I did what I did, but my body and mind are paying for it. More soon…
Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.
I generally dislike using quotes and those who quote frequently/constantly either in speaking or writing. I teach my writing students that, unless their essays are specifically about discussing the ideas inherent in a particular quote, to try to avoid using quotes altogether because it breeds a dependency on them and a lack of originality in thinking. My problems with quotes are multi-fold. First, most things have been said before in different ways by many people. Second, men frequently get credit for things that were most likely said by women first (often their mothers or female spouses, but also friends and colleagues). Third, nasty and/or dumb people live on in history for some chance statement that they have stolen and said loudly enough to be heard, and are then remembered as clever or noble. And finally, heavy reliance upon quotes can be problematic as it prevents you from trying to use your own words, and I find that most of us misunderstand the original meaning of quotes or get the attribution wrong. Quotes can be handy for starting discussions or to start an essay, but addiction is easy.
I do take a bit of exception to feminist quotes because for one, women, their existence, their ideas, and their words are typically erased from history by men. When a feminist says something important that is remembered, I try to preserve it. As well, feminists tell us very important truths about reality, and we’d all do well to remember them. Women tend not to remember or even acknowledge their realities. So I have a choice slideshow of feminist quotes in my sidebar, and today, I’ve pulled one of my favourites, one of the simplest and easiest to remember, and of course, one of the messages that pretty much all women forget.
It would be easy and convenient if it were only rich, white, Christian, straight dudes who were the thorn in Woman’s side. They could easily be targeted and dealt with. They certainly are not the majority in the world. But alas, it is not true. The truth is that all men hate all women. It might be seething violent hate manifesting openly in criminal behaviour against women. But it can also be as hidden as an undersized testicle, no one finding out about it until the right set of circumstances put you into direct contact with it. But it is there, in all men. On a continuum from violently open to extremely well-hidden. And one thing women don’t want to believe is that even men who are clear or visible members of Oppressed Groups™ hate them too. One of the worst mistakes a woman can make is to assume that a man can bond with her over being silenced or erased.
No, you see, men are men and all that comes with it (this is the differential interaction effect of nature and nurture on females and males). Key among their group qualities is a real and significant inability to empathize. And this means that men in groups that are hurt by society are unable to feel anything for other marginalized groups and are often quite easily able to abuse those people without any kind of self-reflection. And by ‘those people’, I mean women, primarily. Oppressed men can frequently feel some kind of kinship with men from other marginalized groups, but not with women, in general, or women in said groups. So in this way, a poor man can show support for a gay man, but is open about his rape fantasies of lesbians or watches ‘lesbian’ porn. Likewise, men of any and all groups will take the PTSD of male soldiers seriously, but will have a laugh about or just dismiss the rape of female soldiers by these same male soldiers. (Oh, and by the way, soldiers are not ‘oppressed’ – quite the opposite, in fact, as they are state-sanctioned murderers, and the males are state-sanctioned rapists, as well. I’m referring to PTSD, a mental health condition, which is marginalizing.)
And within groups themselves, women have discovered that fighting the good fight alongside their male counterparts hasn’t been all it’s cracked up to be. Lesbians don’t get support from gay men. Poor women don’t get support from poor men. Atheist women don’t get support from atheist men. Black women don’t get support from black men. Rather, they are expected to do all the grunt work, act as cannon fodder on the front lines including getting arrested, take charge of feeding and watering the male members, look after children if there are any, and (except in the case of LGB groups – although that is changing since adding the T and Q) provide sex. When there are movements for change, what women forget is that men aren’t interested in equality. They are interested in moving up the ladder of power, the rungs of which are women’s backs, and we see this time and again in revolutionary movements. The underclass fights the oppressors, and then replaces them and keeps the same male hierarchy in place. Nothing changes. Women are still on the bottom and left wondering what the fight was for.
So let’s get to gay men – that is, after all, the topic of this post.
I recently wrote a post about another marginalized group – atheists. And as atheist men hate you, so do gay men.
I just spent three weeks travelling through California, which means I was surrounded by tons of out-and-proud gay men loudly spewing woman-hate, and not caring if women were around to hear them. I sat in restaurants PAYING for service that didn’t just include food, but also large sides of misogyny. PAYING to sit there listening to the gay men across the room – including gay staff members – talk about bitches and cunts and say some of the most misogynist things I heard on my trip, even surpassing the bullshit said by straight men I encountered. If I were a gay man having to listen to homophobia in a restaurant, I could probably sue. But as a woman, I have no rights to feel safe in a public place. I would have been laughed out of the joint.
You don’t have to look far to find nice little object lessons. And yet another was presented to me the other day online. The latest horrific piece of news in Trans-World is that some smug little MtT is looking to take leadership within the UK’s National Union of Students as the Women’s Officer. It is distressing. And women are blogging in protest. I headed over to the reblog of an article on this by a woman I read only to find some dude was already jizzing all over the comments. He had provided an insulting reference to a female public figure commenting on how the trans looked like her (he didn’t, actually – I couldn’t see the similarity). He also couldn’t figure out from the title of the original blogged article what the issue was with a trannie heading up the arm of a major women’s organization. He went on a mansplaining, dick-wagging, woman-shaming blah-blah-blah about clothing and how lesbians dress or don’t dress. It actually didn’t make any sense and had nothing to do with why the article was reblogged. If the mainsplaining didn’t give him away as a misogynist, it was the inability to understand the problem with the article that did.
I normally try to resist interacting with clueless men, but he asked a question: what is the issue here? He thought it was clothing. I had no idea he was gay or actually known to and a friend of the female blogger. All I knew was that he was pro-trans and thus anti-feminist. I mean seriously, he has nothing to lose from a man taking over a woman’s movement or women’s spaces. So, of course, he will promote it. Only women are hurt by this. So I let him know that the information about what was being disapproved of was clear in the title (directly naming ‘male pretendbian’, which we all know means ‘MtT pretending to be a lesbian’) of the post. I mean come on, my Chinese students have better reading comprehension, I said. The misogynist responded with a flurry of woman-hate, calling me both a genius AND an imbecile, which was hilarious, and for some bizarre reason, telling me that the article was a reblog, which I and everyone else knew. And then, when I addressed the blogger on the woman-hate in the comment section, Dood attacked me again by announcing his gayness and positing that the only way he could possibly hurt women is by throwing a glitter bomb on us. Clueless, but given that he supports men in dresses, and by definition, of the pro-trans right of men (in dresses) to demand sex from lesbians, this is not a big surprise. Men think they are harmless. Even when they are in the middle of being harmful.
Gay men may not actually rape us, but they play an important role in normalizing violent and denigrating thinking about women and about normalizing the idea of women as objects (e.g., negating women in the LGB movement) and filthy, hateful things (e.g., the ‘ick factor’) or as walking pornified sexual stereotypes (e.g., gender reinforcement through drag queening). And they are often more vocal in their misogyny than straight men. And they are just as excellent at mansplaining as straight dudes. And because they are marginalized, they get away with it.
The lesson here is that you should never forget that no matter how marginalized a man may say he is or that society says he is, he is always more powerful than all women. As I appear to continually say (because it’s true, goddammit), penis trumps vagina. Always. Always. Always. Don’t be fooled. Gay men hate you too. And it’s more than just glitter bombs and cat fights they threaten you with.
Sometimes, I write unpopular posts. They are unpopular because they make people uncomfortable. They make people uncomfortable because I don’t jump on bandwagons, I don’t join the fray, I don’t like adopting and using catchy slogans or mantras just to gain points with the ‘socially aware’. When people jump on band wagons because it feels like they are doing the ‘right thing’ according to frenzied activists, the ability to analyze reality is lost. And when you can no longer stand back and analyze what is going on, you don’t realize the harm that you’re doing to people who have more in common with you than you think. You don’t realize that you’ve lost sight of what you thought you were joining up with and what your purpose was in the first place.
It is irresistible to attack women. We have ALL felt that, and all people do it, often without realizing it. It is so normalized, and there really is a feel-good effect of taking down a woman you think has over-stepped in some way. I wouldn’t be surprised if we found pleasure-producing, chemical effects in the brain following attacking an uppity woman. No matter what your credo is, there is an underlying current running through us that women must be perfect, self-effacing, and no matter what place they hold in the male-created hierarchy, they are to blame for allowing it to be so. Even experienced radical feminists are tainted by this lifelong brainwashing that creates an automatic, negative, woman-blaming response to social phenomena and every single evil in the world. It really takes a massive effort and commitment to learn to condition yourself to stop and look at what is really going on.
I read a lot of feminist blogs – not just current stuff, but posts published within the last 8-10 years, and this phenomenon can be seen everywhere. It is incredible how many posts begin with or eventually devolve into woman-castigation, usually riding the wave of intersectionality. If you start off a feminist post or discussion with open disgust for educated women, academic women, white collar women, (supposedly) rich women, able-bodied women, Western women, young women, white women, heterosexual women, married women, childless women, or some combination of the above, you’ve lost me a bit. You’ve meandered off the feminist path and are demonstrating your male-identification. There is a difference between critique and blame. There is a difference between naming the real underlying problem and scoring points for using a tired, smug, bullshit cliché (‘privileged white woman’ and ‘privileged white feminist’ are the most overused, but feel like magic on your tongue) to slam a group that is unpopular in current liberal times, convenient to pick on, and not actually at the root of what you’re complaining about. I mean, I get it. I have particular groups of women that fucking piss me off, and I could rail on them all day. Would it solve anything by shaming them into silence – just like a man would do? Absolutely not. They are women and they are trying to survive in the same world the rest of us are. They may have different conditions presented to them, but they have the same central reason for being targeted that we all do. And no woman is omniscient. No woman can be all things to all people. No matter what you think all her advantages are, she is still part of the underclass and blaming her for not doing enough to see every other person’s point of view as she navigates her survival as a woman, is unreasonable, and frankly, exactly what men want and need in order to maintain their power.
When you really back things up, you’ll find that penis dominance and petty rewards for penis worship are at the root of pretty much everything. If you need to think about that for a moment, ask yourself, ‘Would this shit exist if men didn’t exist?’ We can’t answer that definitively, but you can actually break something down by asking key ‘why’ questions. Why does this particular group of women react this way? Why do these women hold these particular views? Why can’t these particular women see or understand my particular perspective? Why does it seem like these women hate meeeee? And when you answer that – and I mean a real answer, not a knee-jerk, unthinking “Because they are privileged” – you’ll find that male dominance is there running the show, providing the shitty and limited options to women. Women haven’t created the oppression that women experience in this world. That is the important thing that we need to remember and that most forget. In fact, it’s a little presumptuous and self-centred to expect other women to alleviate every one of your specific oppressions for you. Your anger is justified, but it’s pointed at the wrong person/people. Ask the ‘why’ questions and explore reality and who your allies are.
After you ask and answer the why-questions, you can easily see that women appear to take on oppressive, ‘privileged’ positions because it has been made clear that in order to lessen the potential harm in their lives, they have to play the power game. Academic women, and business women for that matter, don’t keep their jobs (which they need to feed themselves) if they are aggressive radical feminists, but by playing the male-power game. Rich women usually aren’t as rich as you think they are, or they are the concubines of rich men, which is a different form of prostitution than most people usually think about, and leads to serious penis-identification. Religious women frequently don’t have a choice about their penis-identification because it is all they have known since birth and there is often serious ostracism (and sometimes serious physical danger) threatened if they leave the fold. Heterosexual woman have scary and complicated ties to parasitical males, including birthed sons, and have serious male-identification issues as a result. And on it goes.
I’m not making excuses for people. I do believe that the more ‘freedom’ you have within an oppressive regime, the more responsibility you have to oppose the dominant order. And there are a lot of things that can be done that don’t threaten your life or your survival, although they may threaten your sense of place in a world where you’ve become very used to wearing chains. A lot of women can’t get to that point because it IS scary AND you have to come face-to-face with your own woman-hatred. And while there is a lot to gain from opposing Dick, it is safer when done in numbers, which will never happen. Doing it alone while feeling alone can be very threatening, but it can be done. Life will be hard, and few women (and no men) will thank you for it.
But if you are going to commit yourself to feminism – female-focused feminism – then you have to resist the knee-jerk blaming and shaming of particular groups of women for something that men are fundamentally responsible for. Men need to change it, not women. Point your fingers in the right direction and work together with (or if you can’t then just distance yourself from) the female groups you have trouble with.
That is not to say that critique is not possible. Critique of harmful movements or actions or statements is necessary. Of course. But critique, don’t blame. Women aren’t doing shit you don’t like because they are evil oppressors. They are doing it because they are reacting to (often poorly or in an uneducated fashion) and trying to survive in a system designed to destroy them because of their sex. And sex is at the root of all other oppressions, thanks to men. Critique feminist or anti-feminist movements. Blame patriarchy. Hold men responsible for the lack of options women have and for being forced to choose one of those shitty options.
It seems like a year ago now that I was abroad, especially as I look at some of the photos I took whilst away. Some of the photos, I wanted to put on my blog, and others are just for me to remember specific things and are for my eyes only.
On my way back to China, I had an overnight layover at the Taipei airport. I spent hours wandering the place – most airports are kinda weird at night, and you can notice things you might not see when things are crazy and populated during the daytime. I’ve being in some shitty airports, and I’ve been in some state-of-the-art airports, and I’ve noticed something. The more modern the airport, the more apparent it is that they are male-dominated, capitalist strongholds that sell rape, and (mostly white) female objectification and subordination to the men of the world, and that convince the women of the world that it is sexy, required, and therefore ridiculous to complain about or oppose. And this is done very, very easily through advertisements. Pictures of vulnerable, pornified women draped over or adorned with crap that no one needs.
And most of the time, the ads are of pornified white women and girls. It is not a mark of privilege to be the most rapable, the most objectified. To be seen as cunt on legs is nothing to aspire to or envy. Sorry, ladies of colour. This is not privilege. And it is not what we freely choose, no matter what a handful of really loud fun-feminist cockpuppets tell you. When they open their mouths, you can actually see the head of a penis directing the show and talking away about its needs. Real feminists want ALL women to be completely free from being used in this way and to figure out what their place in the world is while free of male demands for penis worship.
Anyhow, while walking the miles of corridor in the Taipei airport, I ran across tons of pornified, two-dimensional white women and the products on which [rich men of all colours decided] their tits and pussies put the stamp of approval. And you know what? I often couldn’t figure out what product was being sold. The only thing that I knew for sure was for sale was the white girls and women themselves. I used to wonder if men were that fucking stupid to fall for this. I was disbelieving in my youth. We women always want to believe in the best in people, especially men and especially after they abuse us. But with age and more experience than I wish I had, I have come to know for sure that, frighteningly, yes, men are that dumb. Super dumb. And coupling lack of intelligence with entitlement and willful ignorance, they sink to unfathomable depths of violence and depravity, reducing females to things. So the advertisements are of things (women) selling things (products). All to make men (rapists) feel like men (rapists) who want and own shit – shit being both the women themselves and the stuff they are advertising. And of course, all to make women feel inadequate and distract them from pursuing more important things (careers, skills, independence, self-confidence) than becoming temporarily desired (hated) objects.
The most disturbing advertisement I saw that night was selling white pedophelia. It was a larger than life poster of a vulnerable-looking, white girl-child with almost-exposed, barely-formed breasts. As you can see below, she looks like she has been violated – that haunted, ‘is rape all I can expect from life?’ look – and is just realizing that she is just a fuckhole. I think she might be selling a watch (?), but really, it is just White Girl Tits and Pussy™ that are being sold.
If this diverse group of guys can see past their differences to bond over enjoyment and perpetuation and normalizing of rape, rape culture, and female subordination…
Then this diverse group of women should be able to see past their differences to bond over opposing men’s enjoyment and perpetuation and normalization of rape, rape culture and male domination.
And yet, they seldom do. Instead, they bicker, blame, finger-point, and forget all about what they have in common: that men hurt them because of their sex and that ALL men benefit from both this hurt and the inability to come together over it.
Why can’t women bond?
The answer, my friend, is blowing through the pubic, leg and pit hair that men are allowed to have and wear with pride. Men have divided women through the male invention and maintenance of racism, homophobia, religious bullshit, and capitalism. Without men, women suddenly have no manufactured reason to hate one another.
It gets worse and worse. Nowhere on earth, never in history, and regardless of economic or educational status has a woman been able to speak up about being subordinated without serious repercussions for her. On the rare occasion that a woman has a) believed it’s worth it to speak up, b) been allowed to speak her truth, c) been believed, and d) seen justice done to acknowledge her human status and basic human rights – you are witnessing something of a miracle. An actual miracle, not a bullshit ‘Madonna on toast’ type of miracle.
Every single one of you of the XX variety has experienced this at least once, even if you can’t bring yourself to admit that yes, for fuck’s sake, you have been victimized because of your sex. ‘Victim’ is not a dirty word. It is a temporary status that describes having had your freedom (even if you have very little) taken from you in some way.
Each and every one of you has felt unsure that:
- something is happening to you because you are female,
- something is happening to you because you are female in addition to being white/black/aboriginal/etc, lesbian, old, attractive/unattractive, fat/thin, etc.,
- your intuition that something bad is happening to you is spot on,
- you don’t deserve what is happening to you,
- you have the right not to have your personal space and, yes, your body, invaded,
- you are allowed to verbally question a perceived wrong,
- you are allowed to physically defend yourself against violence towards you, and
- you are allowed to say NO to a man of a visible minority group who is trying to hurt or abuse you in some way or even kill you.
Here are some recent (increasingly common) scenarios where women have something taken away, hesitate, and then talk themselves out of demanding that it stop and that they have their human rights/status upheld.
Women victimized by men pretending to be women
A man looking distinctly like a man or man visibly pretending to be a woman and dolled up in ‘lady-face’ enters a women’s bathroom or change room and proceeds to act like he owns the joint, doing his business, taking his clothes off and possibly even watching or staring at you or other women/girls. You hesitate to interject because you are afraid of his backlash or backlash by society for being a fucking bitch and denying a possibly ‘oppressed’ person his freedom. Meanwhile, you have had your freedom to feel safe in a women-only space taken from you. You can’t see that you deserve to be human, and that feeling safe, which is something you may never have felt in the way men feel safe, is your right. Men’s special, inside-feelings of pervy-sexy-womany goodness, and mental illness of the dysphoric variety are much more important than women’s safety.
Women victimized by *oppressed* men of colour
You are a white woman and a man of colour comes up to you and begins to harass you. It starts as a verbal altercation, but upon the slightest opposition to his attention, escalates quickly. He enters your personal space and rains verbal, sexual, and/or physical violence upon you. You don’t feel you are allowed to defend yourself because you will be labelled a ‘racist’ even though he has targeted you because you are a woman and because you are white and he knows he will get away with anything he chooses to do to you. He yells ‘racism!!!’ if you choose to report him or defend yourself. And you end up terrorized and/or raped and/or beaten, and if he leaves you alive, believing that a) you deserved it because you’re white, and b) you are not allowed to say anything because you are ‘privileged’. Women are not privileged over men. Zero debate about that. And in my educated opinion, there is much evidence to support the theory that misogyny cancels out the possibility of racism given that racism is a male invention based on woman-hate. If you can’t see that, you need to go back and read some world history. History is the story of what men have crapped upon the world, at the expense of women. And take a look at the endless violence against women today and you’ll see that a woman cannot hurt a man in any way regardless of the races involved. Walking While White and a Woman (WWWW) in no way justifies what men of colour do. And they shouldn’t get away with it.
Atheist women victimized by religious men
You are an atheist and a feminist, and you are worried about the increasing number of religious fundamentalists dictating policy on the local, institutional, and national levels in your country. Your gym (in Canada) has been forced to frost all of its windows so that pervy Hasidic Jewish boys who can’t stop looking in the gym’s windows won’t have to look at all the filthy whores working out without full length dresses covering their filthy whore bodies (true story). You are not allowed to oppose this. Your university class project schedule (in Canada) has been extremely inconveniently altered to accommodate the Muslims in the class because the men won’t work with filthy whore white women, and the Muslim women can’t work with any men (true story). You are not allowed to oppose this because Muslim values (de-values) are crucial to introduce into Canadian policy on
filthy whores local women. Teen-aged girls attending a high school dance (in the US) are sent home due to wearing filthy, whorish mini-skirts, because the fundamentalist (white and black) Christian fathers of attending students who signed on to chaperone the dance are popping boners and finding themselves with uncontrollable urges to rape the filthy whore cock-teases (true story). No one is allowed to oppose this. Religious ‘freedom’ and male control over female bodies is most important.
In short, while women have never had full human status, current political agendas, which have slipped in under the guise of ‘inclusivity’ and ‘sensitivity’, are making things scarily worse for everyone. This applies to women of all races, who are being held hostage by male terrorists of all races. And the most effective part of this new political agenda has been to silence the most vocal of women (usually real feminists, and most often white feminists – those who have done the most to help ALL women) by calling them privileged, entitled, phobic, and a whole host of other nonsense and slurs.
Women are getting on board with fighting the trans agenda, but what scares me most is the free pass that men of colour and religious men are getting. Women are not getting on board with fighting that. These *oppressed* men have figured out that claiming oppression is a free pass to threaten, attack, beat, rape, and murder women who don’t belong to their group. Feminists are speaking out about ‘transphobia’, which is a very good thing, but are still very scared to defend themselves against men’s strategic accusations of racism, Islamophobia, and other isms and phobias designed to shut women up and give men power. When you force a woman to shut up about what has been done to her, you send the message that her sex, which has been and still is at the root of the longest-running and most accepted oppression in the history of the world, does not matter.
And sex matters.
Just an announcement that I’ve started a new series, or collection might be a better word, in the right side bar. Once you get writing for a while, certain themes become apparent. The new collection deals with the people who pretend to support women’s concerns, but who have ulterior motives.
We’re talking about ‘liberated’ men, male ‘feminists’, male ‘activists’, transfolk (specifically MtT’s), liberal ‘feminists’, and very occasionally women who seem to walk the talk of radical feminism, but who may eventually cave under pressure to support particular male rights that hurt women.
Anyhow, the collection can be found here.
Years and years ago, when I started my first round of grad school, I got a tiny, simple tattoo that made the tattoo artist laugh because it was the easiest money he’d made in a long time. I’d wanted an important reminder, and did a ton of research to find the perfect symbol for that reminder. The reminder was that I had a tendency to overthink and overcomplicate things and I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out which steps to take. My dithering was stressful, and in graduate school, there is enough stress from external sources that you don’t need to add more of your own.
The symbol was historically and scientifically important, and to me, signified the idea that simple solutions tend to be the best way of going about things, even when problems are complex. I haven’t always heeded my reminder, but I have saved myself some grief because of it. And it has stayed helpful in many areas of life – it wasn’t just useful or applicable in my grad school world of scientific inquiry.
I approach feminism in this way, too. Although many of the problems women face in this world are complex, the best way to approach them is actually incredibly simple. And a non-intersectional, radical feminist approach is one that works the best. It starts with a basic, true, inclusive premise that all women need to be liberated from the sex-based oppression of all men.
All women, women as a class – the XX people – no matter where in the world they live, what language they speak, what colour their skin is, how much money they have, how attractive or intelligent or able they are, or what they are wearing
Are held against their will and nature, through violence and the threat of violence, under sex-based oppression
By all men, men as a class – the XY people – no matter where in the world they live, what language they speak, what colour their skin is, how much money they have, how attractive or intelligent or able they are, or what they are wearing.
But all of those details aren’t necessary. The basic premise includes all of that by definition. By all women, we mean all women. And by all men, we mean all men. Period.
One of the worst and most divisive things to happen to feminism, and which likely made men laugh, relax and order up another beer from the bar wench, was the introduction of intersectionality. You see, there is nothing like focusing on our differences to break down solidarity over our very important commonalities. Feminism is, at its root, about men’s oppression of women. With the introduction of intersectionality, women stopped focusing on male oppression and started pointing fingers at their fellow women as their major enemies. Very basically, women, in their fight to stop doing men’s dirty support work for free, ended up doing even more of men’s dirty support work for free.
And we saw horrible things happen. And it is getting worse and more violent towards individual groups of women as we speak.
- White women became solely responsible for racism
- Rich women (who are all apparently white) became solely responsible for homelessness, poverty, illness, capitalism, the poor education system
- Able women became solely responsible for the prevalence of mental illness, the cost of medication, lack of health services, misdiagnosis
- Educated women (who are all apparently white) became responsible for the Pink Ghetto, the rising cost of education, grammar snobbery, learning disabilities and dyslexia, massive and sudden male failure in school, and lack of job opportunities for the uneducated
- Single women became solely responsible for the breakdown of the family and the ’emasculation’ of entire nations of men
- Childless women became solely responsible for the race war (the race that produces the most children wins!!!), declining birth rates (like that’s a bad thing???), and posing threats to working women with children
- Atheist women became solely responsible for natural disasters (magical religious thinkers have told us) and the breakdown of entire societies and social orders
In short, every single problem that has actually been caused and exacerbated and maintained by men suddenly found an easier blamable target cause: some specific group of women. Through intersectionality, women were able to ‘other’ other women and blame them for their problems. Attacking other women a) was safer since women generally aren’t violently retaliatory, and b) garnered huge support and ‘rewards’ from men. For example, black women who demand that black men become accountable for and actually stop raping them might find themselves in further danger at the very hands and dicks of black men. But by making up a story and blaming a powerless group of women, such as white women, for black male rapeyness, they garner support in all communities, including confused, over-guilt-burdened, activist, white women, themselves. White women, in fact, have nothing to do with black men raping anyone, but it has become a popular way of saving men from taking responsibility for anything they do. And besides, it makes great press. Men control the press. And it is very hard to stop the domino effect of delusional and persecutory thinking once it starts.
Another major problem with intersectionality is the competitive atmosphere, and the derailing and thought-stopping behaviour that it creates in discussions of reality. No longer can a group of women come together to discuss female oppression without things going off track as soon as someone says something unpopular. People lose focus of the fact that they all have a common experience and begin to form groups, ‘other’ each other, and focus on individual feelings and individual experiences. These individual experiences are held up to a measuring stick of oppression and it becomes a typical male pissing contest over who has been hurt the most, and even worse, who is allowed to speak given their level of bona fide hurt. Those who are perceived to be less hurt or less oppressed lose credibility and even status as a woman. A white woman’s rape becomes less important than an aboriginal woman’s rape. A middle class woman’s beating becomes a joke next to a poor woman’s beating. A mentally healthy (whatever that means) woman’s workplace harassment becomes infinitely less significant than that of a woman with autism. It is disgusting to watch unfold, and unfold it does. The nastiness, slurs, hatred, silencing tactics, and sometimes outright banning or banishing can spring forth in the blink of an eye. It’s so gross that I’ll wonder to myself, how can you determine the relative horribleness and validity of two women’s victimizations? How can you deny compassion to one woman simply because you don’t like her supposedly ‘privileged’ status? Oftentimes, the privilege we *think* a woman has isn’t quite what we want it to be, if it even exists at all. Not that we’ll ask her. Her truth might humble us and destroy our vendetta/agenda. Stereotyping hurts and perpetuates ignorance and violence. But men and their institutions (media, law, etc) work to keep sister-hate going. The play that men give to women’s ‘problems’ in the news has nothing to do with women oppressing women, even thought it might be presented or interpreted as such. Women who care about women don’t downplay other women’s realities, traditionally. Men do. Don’t forget that. All men oppress all women, directly and/or indirectly, and we need to bond over that fact alone. We need to believe each other, listen to each other, and support each other. Accusing and blaming women serves men, not yourself and not women as a class.
And yet another problem with intersectionality is not knowing when to stop dividing. At some point, we all find ourselves in groups of one according to our unique disadvantages. It is important for data collection and research purposes to know what women face on a detailed level. Complex issues should be studied and approached while armed with this knowledge. I’m not advocating for group blindness or erasing. I have my own pet groups that in my world, deserve more of my attention than others. Personally, I am quite concerned with the oppression of elderly women and of single, childless women, and I believe they are two of the most vulnerable groups in the world, regardless of culture. They are also two groups that get almost NO attention. But I won’t derail a feminist discussion or effort or activism in order to demand their immediate attention by all. If I want to call attention to oppression of elderly women or to that of single, childless women, I will either form my own group, or I will join a group focusing on these populations and their issues. All while also being part of general feminist groups/discussions. And I would ask the same of any other sub-group member. You’re a woman first, and you are also part of other groups that can be of equal importance TO YOU. To date, things have not worked like this. Established groups are infiltrated and shamed, derailed and forced to deplete already limited resources in order to be ‘inclusive’ to every single sub-group of women (and sometimes of non-women, i.e., MtTs). I believe these derails weaken feminism, which is supposed to work to benefit all women by focusing on the common oppression. It is unreasonable to demand that sub-group interests take precedence over general interests – and that applies to anything, not just feminism. General mandates apply to all members; group-oriented, specific mandates only apply to a few, and suddenly you find you have several mandates and a broken, distrusting, self-protective group of groups. No solidarity is possible when everyone is too special and self-involved to focus on a very clear, central mandate.
Divide and conquer. Maybe not the original intention of intersectionality, but it is certainly the outcome. Ask a male ‘feminist’ how much he loves shaming women with perceived ‘privilege’ instead of focusing on what he and other men gain from oppressing women. When we’ve got men enthusiastically on board with showering particular groups of women with hate, then you know that’s not feminism you’re doing.
Let’s talk about fantasy and reality, sensationalism and mundane facts, penis-loving and woman-hating.
The media loves a good story. The more gore and horror a story has, the more play it will get in the public eye. And the more attention it will receive. And the more distorted the facts surrounding the story will become. There will be a kernel of truth, and then the rest will be blown out of proportion and lead to the masses and very often the supposedly educated hordes going on an illogical rampage in a blood-thirsty, scapegoating frenzy, and society at large will adopt illogical, fear-based, hate-satisfying behaviour.
A good example of this phenomenon is perceptions of safety concerning air and auto-vehicular travel.
Many people are terrified of flying because they believe flying is more dangerous than driving or riding as a passenger in a motor vehicle. But if you look at actual data compiled by government or insurance organizations on number of accidents, number of accidents per miles travelled, the number of fatalities per million miles travelled, and odds of dying in a lifetime, you get a different story. No matter how you slice it, car travel is considerably more dangerous and the odds of dying in a plane crash (if you actually travel by plane – even a lot) are much, much lower.
But air crashes, on the rare occasion that they occur, are catastrophic and deliciously interesting. Being both rare and devastating, they end up getting a lot of play in the media. Car crashes, on the other hand are frequent, even deadly ones, so they don’t get worldwide (or even nation-wide) play. Let’s just say, if you want your name to live on after your death because you haven’t made it big by showing your tits in public (if you’re a woman) or perpetrating a school or workplace shooting (if you’re a male), your best bet is to fly and make sure your plane goes down. It works for Muslim extremists, so why not you? [Yeah, I said it. It’s true, so get a grip.]
Let’s call this ‘the air crash effect’: rare, extreme events get a) a lot of public attention, and b) lead to irrational conclusions. Air crash gets attention and people develop unjustified fear of flying.
Race and Sex: An Eye-Opening Comparison and the Stark Reality
Let’s apply this phenomenon to social problems. I’ll use a current, massive problem that has hit the radar in the US recently, but is having ripple effects in other countries. It is the old racism vs misogyny war.
Women are constantly silenced by liberal men (and women) when they attempt to talk about violence against women. This happens across history and in all countries. But we’re going to talk about the current American climate right now. The most common current argument is that cops are shooting black people right left and centre and that trumps the petty, indulgent, narcissistic claims of American women whose few rights are being fast eroded. So noticeable in fact that the UN has uncovered and given legitimacy to the claims of the deplorable state of women’s rights in what is supposed to be a country at the forefront of human rights. Women in the US are suffering and no one gives a shit or believes those few brave women who are speaking out, in other words.
At some point in the American collective subconscious, it was decided that women, who hurt more than any other group both in the US and on the planet, had to take a back seat to men of colour (many of whom abuse women, themselves). And the issue of the day is violence experienced by men of colour (specifically black men), and in particular, the killings of black men by police officers.
Now, before I dig in here, I want to be clear. I don’t use data reported by MRAs or right-wing or ‘concerned white male’ groups (aka: white supremacists). First, I don’t trust anything any and all men say about violence, regardless of colour. Second, I can’t stand MRA’s or any kind of racial supremacists or purists. Too much agenda, too much testosterone, and thus, lies, lies, lies – and even worse, the woman-hate. You never get racism without deep, frightening woman-hate. I don’t personally give a shit about which race ‘wins’. That is a male concern. Racism is a male invention and it is rooted in woman-hate. Men, concerned with who gets to fuck their slaves (women), get violent at the idea of men outside their racial group having access. That is where racism comes from. Men own the pussy of their own racial group and they’ll fight to the death to keep it that way.
So, back to the data. I prefer to look at the data that black activists themselves provide. They will either be accurate or exaggerated, and I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, because it helps my argument, which I am basing in reality and on fact. According to black activist groups, fewer than 5 blacks (men and women) are killed by police per million (as compared with 2 per million for both whites and hispanics). The majority are armed, mostly with guns, occasionally with knives. I have no reason to argue with these figures. I believe the activists. I am not a racism denier or cop apologist. And I don’t think people who are not committing crimes should be killed. If people are committing crimes, especially violent ones against women or girls, that is another matter entirely. Shootings of blacks by cops is a big deal and is widely reported in the news. Whether the cops are prosecuted is another matter.
And these killings are getting A LOT of play in the media, a lot of shouting and demonstrating by activists, and white liberals are completely on board and behaving the way they are supposed to by saying all the right things and silencing anyone who questions the data or anyone who would rather focus on larger social problems.
And so we get to those larger and longer-running social problems. We are getting to the car crashes. Violence against women. Cops killing black men is the deliciously salacious air crash, violence against women is the too common, too boring car crash. Let’s look at some conservative estimates (most women don’t report crimes against them, so these data are low-ball estimates of reality).
152,000 women per million are stalked. Remember, the number of blacks killed by cops is 5 per million. Also note that of all the women killed by their partners, more than 3/4 of them are terrorized through stalking first, and that is more than 5 women per million.
200,000 women per million are raped in their lifetime. Remember, the number of blacks killed by cops is 5 per million versus 200,000 raped women per million. And that is a very conservative estimate due to refusal to report, self-denial, mishandling and trashing of rape reports by law enforcers and hospitals, and doesn’t take into account multiple rapes by different men and repeated rapes by the same man/men. This figure is also conservative because of the very narrow, male definition of rape. And this figure doesn’t include sexual assault, sexual harassment, and other sexual terrorism. That figure would be 1,000,000 women per 1,000,000. And many of these women are living an aftermath that makes death look sweet and kind. Often, rape is the worst torture imagineable. Men can’t imagine. It doesn’t happen to them.
111,111 little girls per million are sexually abused by adults. The adults are almost always men and almost always men they know. 111,111 abused girls (who often go on to kill themselves, abuse drugs, develop mental illness, and fall into rape lifestyles of porn and prostitution) per million compared with 5 blacks per million.
15 women out of 100 rape victims will try to kill themselves because of what men, including black men, consider to be harmless and natural and hilarious fun times. I think most rape victims at least think about killing themselves. And I think the figure is conservative as most women don’t talk about what has happened to them.
This is why I’m just not that concerned about a few killings. There is a REAL problem out there and that is men committing violent acts against girls and women. It is shameful and insulting to ignore, negate and erase the millions and millions of women suffering and dying at the hands of men of ALL COLOURS and including male police and men from all walks of life and all professions, from homeless men to male politicians and male doctors. It is insulting to erase the millions of women and what they suffer through in order to focus on a few very well-publicized killings of men. It is not my job to fight for (often) armed black men. I support innocent women and girls victimized simply for existing while female. A woman doesn’t even need to leave her home or even her bed to be brutalized.
For most people, their thinking is greatly affected by what they read in or hear on the news. We have brains so that we can think critically, analyze information, ask important questions, and draw correct conclusions. Our media tell us what is important, and what is important has little to do with reality, facts, and statistics/numbers. Importance wears a penis. That penis has many colours, but it is still a penis, and reality is bent to accommodate and support that penis.
When you look at the numbers, the facts, reality, you see that it is still safer to take a plane than drive a car, and it is certainly safer and better to be male than female regardless of your race in this world. And in the specific example here, it is safer to be a black male than a woman of any colour in the US. Regardless of what liberals tell you and how loudly. There is no shortage of black men despite the fact they are being *constantly* killed by police (5 per million), but women are being raped right, left and centre (200,000+ per million) and living with the aftermath of that torture, the negation or erasure of their ordeals, and the physical complications for the rest of their lives.
I’m going to enter this under my ‘Conversations with Men‘ series for obvious reasons, although I’ll follow a slightly different format than I usually do for posts in that category.
If you’ve been reading along, you’ll know that not only do I assert that male feminists don’t and can’t exist, but I really dislike men who apply that label to themselves. Further, I’m not too keen on the women, including supposed feminists (ffs!), who shower praise and blow jobs on these self-professed activist woman-lovers either, but I get why they do this even if it is enormously damaging to women.
I’ve written about these creeps before:
They Don’t Do It Because They Care: Where I talk about why men join the helping professions, activism, and volunteer organizations.
Is It A Necessary Concession? Where I talk about the hidden, selfish agenda underneath the male feminist costume.
Truth Will Out: Where I talk about how you can reveal the misogynist turd that is at the heart of the majority of male feminists?
Today, I want to demonstrate how to respond to a male ‘feminist’ who tries to ‘engage’ you in dialogue. The thing with most male feminists is that they always end up in the same place using the same set of tactics. Most of them, with their keen male predatory radar, will sniff out real feminists. What are real feminists? There aren’t many around despite the label starting to become fashionable again for pole dancers and identity politickers. Real feminists are those radical women who are consistent in their belief that men as a class oppress women as a class on the very basis of sex. Real feminists name the problem: men. Real feminists understand the interplay of biology and socialization, and that men are free to be their biologically violent selves and have created a society that supports this through socialization, while women are NOT free to be their natural selves and constantly fight against gender socialization and comply against their will to attempt to avoid male violence.
So having zoned in on a real feminist, the male feminist starts a conversation. It might start out in a seemingly innocent or friendly way, but it quickly devolves into antagonism. (Or he might just dive right in.) The dude just can’t help himself. You see, men, no matter how human rightsy they say they might be, are not on board with radical feminist theory because they don’t see themselves as part of class, male. They are special, different. And they neeeeeed to make you see that you’re doing feminism wrong. Your thinking is wrong. You’re mean. You’re rigid. You’re responsible for everything bad in the world. You’re not doing enough to help women less fortunate. You… you’re something. And whatever it is, you are wrong and you should feel ashamed and guilty. Luckily, he is there to set you on the right path. And if you want to help him out somehow to show your thanks, well, you are free (free!!!) to do so.
Where most women, even real feminists, go wrong is in dealing with these douchebags. Even the most hard lined feminists have been socialized from birth as females to be constantly on the defensive. Being a woman means constantly being under attack in many ways. So women will spend enormous amounts of energy trying to explain themselves. No, I’m not a man-hater. No, I’m not humourless. No, I’m not violent. No, I’m not… oh, please just stop. I’m sorry I’m alive.
It is endless, and even staunch feminists cave under this relentless apologizing, self-defense, and explaining. We’ve seen bizarre capitulations by women once seen to hold the flag of feminism. I’m sure you can think of a few.
Online, these dickheads are even worse. They’ll flounce into a women’s space like the king of the castle and pounce on a feminist. They’ll either ask short, snarky, derailing questions, or they will lay it on thick with multi-paragraph mansplanations. What is expected is that all interested women drop everything they’re doing to address the male feminist’s concerns, defend their positions, and answer his stupid questions.
I propose something different, and I’ll illustrate with a real example put in my lap a few days ago.
I left a comment on one of the blogs I follow. I can’t remember the exact topic, but it had something to do with male ‘feminists’. My comment was:
“Just as there is no such thing as a woman with a penis, there is no such thing as a male feminist.”
A concerned penis-brain responded to me, quoted the second half of my comment “there is no such thing as a male feminist”, and then said “Really?”
I did what most women automatically do, I wrote a draft explaining my position and a few other choice things. And then I stopped. This asshole spent two seconds to write one snarky word that demanded that I defend myself. And I almost fell for it. I found that as I was writing my answer, my stress level increased, and my anger flared. And then all became clear.
I decided to respond. And I responded in kind.
And it felt good. It felt right. And he didn’t engage me further, which was exactly the right thing to happen. Some people might include their blog address or specific posts, and let the dude know that the argument is laid out there. I don’t bother. This kind of guy isn’t interested in feminism, and he will definitely not take the time to read your blog or post. He is looking to antagonize. He is looking for followers and praise and possibly a liberal woman who will be feisty, but who will still suck his dick because he is so fucking awesome.
In other words, not a feminist. Feminism isn’t about individualism, selfishness, or men/male ‘needs’. It is about women as a class. And if men want to be feminist allies/supporters (not feminists), they should go educate men, not spend time on feminist blogs antagonizing already overburdened, harassed women.
Living in China and Taiwan has frequently made me feel I’m living out surreal Kafka-like scenarios. Strange racist demands or limitations or really unfair policies directed only at foreigners are delivered with a straight face to the foreign victim, and there is always the implication that you are psychotic for not going along quietly and seeing how rational the treatment is.
I’ve been told I can’t have a university faculty email address because I might be a spy for my government. I’ve turned down jobs where I was told I would have a significant portion of my earnings withheld until I could prove I was honest. Guilty until proven innocent are foreigners. And I’ve been chained into my residential building at night because it was ‘safer’ that way – in some places, I was not allowed by the police to live outside the school, so there really was no avoiding a prison atmosphere.
And because many people’s knee-jerk reactions will be: you’re Western, you can’t complain, and this doesn’t sound so bad – let’s paint this in another way. Imagine in your country, disallowing Chinese university instructors staff email addresses, withholding only the Chinese instructors’ paycheques, or chaining Chinese instructors into their staff housing at night if they are forced to live on campus. Yeah, that makes it sound a little crazier, yes? Well, it is normal to do this to foreigners here.
This is Chinese thinking and they explain and do these things as if they believe they are correct and good
for Chinese for foreigners. To the recipient of these edicts, your mind starts spinning. In what world is this rational? In what world are these not human rights abuses? One has no way of fighting this. I’ve spoken about China being another planet before. China is a fucked up place, but it is fucked up in a different way than Western or other countries are. For example, they are not dealing with the West’s equally Kafkaesque trannie issues.
In the trans wars, the victims expected to accept human rights abuses are women, not foreigners. I’ve read countless examples of what appear to be very male-entitled, mentally ill MtT people (men) demanding the conversion of a safe’ish female-only space (bathrooms and change rooms) into man-friendly zones.
I don’t believe on principle that non-gender-conforming men should be messed with by other men because of their non-conformity – it is stupid and unfair and typical male bullshit. BUT it is a men’s issue, and I won’t waste my precious energy policing man-on-man violence. If they want to kill each other, have at it. If they all disappeared, women would finally be safe. How would this be a bad thing???
These non-conforming men lose the tiny bit of sympathy I can muster for them when they try to solve their problems at the expense of women. And of course, that is what they automatically do. That is what men do. “Poor me. Men hate me. I, I, I know! I will make myself feel better by shitting on women! Yeah! We’ve been doing it forever, and they are not allowed to fight back! Problem solved.” Instead of creating trannie spaces, which is the logical and fair thing to do, they just take the little that women have. It is so much easier to conquer an already conquered class than to start from scratch and forge your own resources and spaces and identities.
And so the invasion of women’s very private and safe’ish spaces – the very places we piss, shit, deal with our menstrual blood, cry, hide, escape from men, have a private moment, change our clothes, and sometimes exchange woman-oriented information and bonds – is well under-way. Men under the delusion (and sometimes not so deluded delusion…) that they are women because they like Hello Kitty and sparkly nail polish are convincing the legal system in general, and institutions/organizations one-by-one that they need to
invade have access to women’s bodies, privacy, feeling of security, spaces.
And what can women do when they try to argue against the invasion of men into their very private spaces? Nothing. It is a Kafka-like scenario – it is so messed up, it is hard to even get a handle on rational thought. Women are suddenly the oppressors. Trans are being victimized. No word is made of how they are treated in the male bathroom/change room and that the violence being done to them (if any) is by men. It is women preventing the individual from feeling safe. It is women preventing the trans from having a place to do his business. It is not logical, rational, sense-making. And given that she is now painted as an oppressor, the woman has two ‘choices’: accept having to do her business in a male space, or not entering the space at all (having nowhere to go at all). There is no longer a woman’s bathroom/change room, but two men’s rooms.
And the best part? If a trans commits any kind of hate crime against the women whose space he has now legally taken over and in these very spaces, it is seen as woman-on-woman crime. Mark my words, we are going to see a ‘strange’ and ‘inexplicable’ jump in sex crimes with female perps, and men will sit back and smugly say: “See? Women are violent too.”
I’ve called myself a feminist for a long time. I’ve had ‘crazy’, unspeakable-in-public, totally ‘offensive’ notions since I was quite young. But I’ve never been formally educated in feminism, I had no stable or lasting feminist role models in my life, nor did I seek out specifically feminist writing until not that long ago. And getting to where I am (and where I am still going) has been a process. I’ve made tons of mistakes with regard to men and how to frame my reality in a man-made world. I’ve had realizations that didn’t have complete impact until years later – when I was ready for their full force. This is all part of the development of a radical feminist that I’ve begun writing about in my Birth of a Feminist series.
About a year ago, I realized I was missing and needing something in my life. I was feeling lost, hurt, alone, lonely, chronically and mildly depressed, and unable to come up with at least a short-term plan or desire or motivation for the future (which is unusual for me – the survivor, the Plan/Strategy Queen). Without a lot of thinking about it, I found myself one day googling radical feminism, and a year later, I’m in deep. What had been missing was a philosophical system that spoke to me and how I work and that could help me pull everything together and make sense of the world. No other philosophy has ever done this for me. You see, they’ve all been male-orientated, and I’m not a fucking male. That initial internet search drove me directly to some of the most hard-core radical feminist blogs around (or archived). And I was home. I lamented that had I been able to find such intelligent, outspoken and honest women sooner, life would have looked quite a bit different. I think a lot of the misery could have been avoided. And I might not be stuck in China completely and utterly isolated from the kind of women (especially near’ish my age and older) I really need and want to be around. But better late than never?
Well, yes. Better late than never. Radical feminism saved my life. And that is not a unique sentiment. I’ve read it and heard it countless times by women who, one way or another, found themselves in RF’s comforting arms. Radical feminism gives you a framework in which to understand why you feel so damned angry, why you don’t fit in, and why the majority of people not only don’t understand you, but often react violently to you when you state your opinions and experiences.
As you’re getting your footing among women who’ve been RFing for years, and finding out where you’ve gone right and wrong on your unaided journey prior to that, you encounter a lot of confusing stuff.
Calling yourself a rad-fem doesn’t mean you’re perfect. There is always room to grow. And that is a-okay. Growth comes from dialogue, sharing and learning from those more experienced than you and with different takes on similar situations. But more troubling – and this is where things can be confusing for those entering ‘the scene’ – are RFs who appear to hold all the basic tenets of rad-feminism to be true, but who will engage in behaviours that contradict the main objective. And I’ve noticed two confusing and thought-stopping behaviour camps present in online interaction. Both are actually common among liberal feminists, but I’ve seen purported and community-accepted rad-fems engage in them, as well.
The first one is well-documented: these are the ‘oppression olympians’. These folks are very concerned with making sure everyone understands all the ways in which they are disadvantaged. They often believe they are worse off than anyone else, and they will whip out the relevant oppression to thought-stop/silence any person they disagree with. It also serves as a derail technique. Many an excellent discussion has veered off track once an olympian shows up to remind everyone about how hurt she feels because of her special status. This kind of posing is antithetical to radical feminism as any RF worth her salt sees women as the primary focus of any RF discussion, movement, action, protest. Focusing on ‘intersection’ (and really, intersection can get so crazily defined that we all end up in groups of 1) is a divide and conquer technique that only serves to benefit men and take power and solidarity away from women as a class.
The second group I call the Watchtower snipers. These are most often women who instead of identifying first and most importantly as women – an oppressed class and the very subjects of radical feminism – take whatever privileged group membership(s) they have very, very seriously as a badge of shame. So seriously, in fact, that they will negate their own valid, horrible experiences because they are not as oppressive or legitimate as any other more oppressed woman’s. They also become hyper-vigilant for any sign of offense-giving in others, ‘shoot down’ anyone and everyone for these perceived offenses, and coddle olympians who show up to throw tantrums and to abuse perceived oppressors (their fellow women! ffs!). For some reason, these rad-fem watchtower snipers are also uniquely prone to neurotic grammar policing and will derail a thread by picking apart another woman’s comma or contraction usage. Weird. Snipers shoot wildly and indiscriminately to protect a perceived uber-victim. And sadly, it produces a similar result to olympianism by derailing, silencing and thought terminating.
The first blog I read from cover to cover, so to speak (which I won’t name here as I won’t shit on women who are, for the most part, doing important work and have my utmost respect for speaking dangerous thoughts and moderating comments), was brilliantly, brilliantly written by a woman with deliciously , what I call ‘out there‘ views. But to my great sadness, I found her to be a bit of a sniper, and allowed and supported olympians in her comments section, and wouldn’t tolerate trans-criticism. It really confused me as I quickly got up to speed on current feminist issues. She called herself a radical feminist, but failed on a few crucial points. Nevertheless, this blog was really, very important to me.
Women need to be able to criticize other women on important issues. Women are also allowed to feel and express their righteous anger. Nitpicking grammar (and I say this as an English instructor) is not a serious issue in feminism. Whether trans folk (men) should be allowed to take over the few safe spaces we have left is. And if comments are allowed on blogs, well of course, bloggers can have whatever policy they wish, but coddling trolls (who are probably very damaged women in need of real help/support – not anonymous blog discourse) and shooting supporters in the head doesn’t make for good female solidarity.
I’ve never been to therapy.
I think I badly need it, but I know I won’t ever go. And I’ve come to realize why this will never happen.
I was raised and abused by a father who was a male therapist. I won’t (in this post) even touch on my even more abusive mother (who was not a therapist). Between the two of them, I grew up to be an emotionally paralyzed, very confused, silent, angry, socially anxious and awkward, depressed individual, and then was further abused by these parents for being emotionally paralyzed, very confused, silent, angry, socially anxious and awkward, and depressed. Exactly the kind of person who could use a little therapy to untwist the emotional twine binding her.
But as I said, I’ll never go. Even though I went on to formally study psychology for years, I kept to the hard sciencey specializations (statistics, neuroscience, psychometry) and kept all my clinical dealings as a sideline through clinical and forensic research projects, coursework and collaboration/friendship with the more interesting of the clinical (female) crowd.
Even in the thick of things, I still declined therapy while feeling I desperately needed it at the same time. Instead, I self-examined. I know exactly what’s going on with me thanks to years of this relentless questioning and probing. Unfortunately, therapists are useful creatures – you can self-examine all you want and still not make much progress towards balance or health. Therapists are guides, and they are supposed to support you when you are at your most exposed and vulnerable.
As I am an expert in mind-fuckery, I often think about therapy professions. That was what I wanted to be as a kid, and I discarded it in college. At the time, I thought my classmates were too wishy-washy, and hey, I was really good at math and experimental design, but looking back, I know that I left because it was too threatening. Part of me didn’t want to have to address the nasty truths in my life and thus become vulnerable. I knew what vulnerable was and the therapist I grew up with both made me vulnerable and exploited it relentlessly. Who wants more of that?
And as I’ve explored the therapy professions (social work, clinical psychology, clinical psychiatry, etc), I keep coming back to the same question or set of questions.
What draws men to this line of work? And more specifically, what draws men to therapy for female victims of sex crimes (rape, sexual assault, incest)?
Let’s come back to this and talk about female therapists first.
First off, not all female therapists are good and/or appropriate for your needs. The therapist’s professional orientation may not line up with yours. The therapist has been educated by the patriarchy and likely holds patriarchal views of women and their illnesses. Speaking from experience with clinical psych undergrad and postgrad students and professors, many therapists (male and female) are not the most stable themselves. People with problems tend to gravitate towards this profession and the field is sooo competitive that often, only the most obsessive and neurotic are given admittance to programs. I can’t speak for social work programs, but most of the practitioners I’ve met have been really weird people with weird agendas. But I DO believe that it is people with problems who are exactly the people who should be working in these fields because they understand first-hand what the patient is going through. It is important, however, that the therapist have worked out her issues to minimize the intrusion of said issues into her patient/client’s situation.
All said, there are tons of well-meaning women who gravitate towards the helping professions. Well-meaning doesn’t mean effective or correct, but it is a starting place. Men don’t often have even the correct starting place.
To speak more specifically about work with female victims of sex-based crimes (aka hate crimes against women), it is easy to understand why women get into it. Women want to help women. Therapists are often victims themselves. Oh who am I kidding, all women are victims of at least one sex-based offense and are exposed to male filth on a daily basis. Female therapists want to get in there and do some good. Are they going about it the right way? I don’t know. I don’t think most of women’s energy expenditure actually makes any progress towards ending male violence. But someone has to put on the band-aids, I suppose.
I’ve also known female therapists who’ve worked with rapists and men who sexually assault women and children. I can even understand why women gravitate towards this. The work is, of course, pointless. You can’t fix men, and you absolutely can’t fix a rapist. But again, women pour endless energy into trying to fix male problems that can’t be fixed. It’s a misplaced, erroneous belief in male ‘goodness’ (whatever) and a desire to keep women safe. *Sigh*
So we come back to men. I’ve written about men and the helping professions and volunteer work before. What could possibly bring men specifically into wanting to ‘help’ female victims of sex-based crimes? It boggles the mind. Men have little capacity for empathy, and I have never met a man who can wrap his head around the fear women live with daily as a result of forced proximity to men. So to deliberately be around and ‘help’ female victims isn’t a problem in their minds. The last thing women need after victimization by a man, however, is to be made even more exposed and vulnerable with a man controlling her aftermath. Male therapists must be looking for control or a vicarious experience or something. Perhaps they are invested in putting forth a male agenda in ‘managing’ female victims. Does he want to show that ‘not all men are bad’? How completely selfish and self-centred, if that is the case.
We have a new problem with aggressive MtT’s targeting battered women’s shelters and demanding to work there and be put into direct contact with female victims. They are becoming so self-centred and disrespectful that they are bringing law suits to fight for their right to access female victims. Why are they doing this? Is it an attempt to use women’s real experiences to build up their own sense of victimhood? Whatever they are doing, it is assault. It is disgusting. And it needs to be stopped.
Men also love to gravitate towards helping male sex offenders. I have personal experience with one of these creatures. I was taking a course in a form of counselling and was paired up by phone with a black, American, Christian man who headed up his own church and specifically helped rapists get on their feet after (unfortunately) being released from prison. He and I were to do ‘counselling’ sessions on the phone. He was controlling of me from the very beginning, and took advantage of my commitment to the course. He cancelled our sessions, let me do all the work, and would take other phone calls while we were in the middle of a counselling session. But he was smarmy, saying all the right things to smooth things over. If I were 20, I would have accepted the abuse and chided myself that as a WHITE woman, I supposedly was the privileged one. But I was older and well-versed in how all men have privilege over all women regardless of other group membership. Penis trumps vagina, regardless of race, every single time. One day, I called him on his repeated disrespect of me, and the truth came out. He attacked me mercilessly, and threw all the information I’d given him in my vulnerable state as counsellee in my face. And then he played the god card – he knew I was an atheist, and let me know I was shit because of it. Pure abuse. I suspect he was a ‘recovered’ rapist himself. I put my foot down, complained to the school, and only after my fellow student attacked the teacher was he thrown out of the program.
So, I suspect that sex offenders help sex offenders, and any man who gravitates towards therapy for female victims or male offenders is just there to perpetuate the system of abuse, keep the male agenda alive and well, ‘help’ women to put their experience in a compartment and not paint all men or the patriarchy as bad, and experience personal control and vicarious excitement over female victimization. I advocate for keeping men out of all professions where they have access to vulnerable women and girls.
There are a lot of containers that, once opened or broken or dumped out, cannot be resealed or refilled with their original contents. Think of a tooth paste tube, a piñata, or an aerosol can. Release the contents and there is no going back. Sometimes, the containers are fragile – batter or abuse them too much, and they lose their integrity and ability to hold anything anymore. With other containers, the contents may be such that there is no possible way of getting it back into the container once released – it’s all over the place.
The worst containers of stuff are those figurative cans of whoop ass. Not only can you not re-contain said whoop ass, but it is toxic, toxic stuff. The worst can of whoop ass out there is one that sits on every woman’s shelf in the pantry and is that which we call society or culture (aka Patriarchy). Patriarchy is a nasty little container full of toxic shit, and everyone is really, really careful to guard the can and prevent it from coming to harm.
Because once a woman damages or opens that can, something monumental happens.
She sees the actual contents of the can. She realizes that the list of ingredients has nothing to do with what is inside, and what is inside is poison. Whoop ass is dangerous shit, and once a woman opens that can and whoop ass leaks out, she can’t put it back in. She can’t return to that state of ‘can-protection’ that previously ruled her life.
Many believe that knowing the contents of the can is worse than relentlessly protecting the can. And it can seem that way. Once the contents spill, you see it and understand it for what it is, and you realize that there is no way to clean it up. You can try to get away from it, and succeed in some small ways, but you can’t un-see the whoop ass and return to your tiny, limited world of can protection.
Many women, however, admit that they always hated that damned can looming on the pantry shelf. They’d always asked themselves why the can was so special anyways. It was processed, unappetizing. They’d always cooked fresh food, and doesn’t the can have an expiry date anyways…? But men always insisted on the can being there, and many women, their families, their friends, most of them had their own cans and didn’t approve of can-criticism. And it remained a centrepiece. Those who questioned can-care did the minimum, kicked it around a bit, and some finally opened it as a brave, defiant, and curious act.
I opened the can, myself, once I found the right tool. And although I don’t personally celebrate Christmas, it is my holiday wish that in every stocking of every celebrant in the world might be found the tool needed to open their can.
Seasons greetings to can-protectors and can-openers alike.
Let’s say you own a house. One day, a person comes to your door, you open it, the person orders you out at gun point, closes and locks the door, and sets up house. The person immediate sets about changing the locks, rearranging everything within the house, discarding things that are not to their liking, and carrying on as if the house were theirs. Any attempt you made to re-enter and re-claim the house was fended off by the person who ousted you. When you went to the authorities, they listened to you and then asked the person now residing in your home for their side of the story. The person tells the police that the house was yours, but is now theirs, that you willingly signed over the house, and can even produce papers that appear to be signed by you. The police do not dig any further, seem satisfied that you are not the rightful owner of the house, and essentially tell you that you should be ashamed of yourself for taking up their precious time, possibly you are stupid, and to shove off.
You are distraught and feel helpless. You believe a crime has been committed, but no one seems to believe you. The person who took your house was given more respect and credibility than you were. You begin to doubt your anger and wonder whether you had it coming. Perhaps you should have been more careful. Shouldn’t have answered the door. You have moments when you are angry again, and you try to build up your confidence by seeking support from friends. They don’t believe you either, and remind you of several instances reflecting your incompetence as a home-owner. They tell you to look on the bright side, be more positive, remember that there are people worse off in the world who have never owned a home. You become silent. The person living in your home prospers and actually goes on to steal other homes in the same manner.
Okay, the whole story sounds implausible. This would never happen in a civilized society, right? Thieves aren’t automatically believed over their victims, that a theft occurred isn’t questioned, and thieves absolutely don’t get to define what makes something ‘theft’ or not. Those who benefit from committing a theft are not the ones who get to make the rules. And victims of theft are not reviled.
So here’s the question or questions. Why do men get to define crimes against women? Why do men get to decide whether what happens to a woman’s body is a crime or not? Why doesn’t a woman get to say that what has happened to her is a crime? Why aren’t women solely responsible for setting up policy and law around crimes against female persons? We know best. Our bodies are ours and even among the most brainwashed, there is always a part of us that knows that what is being done to us by men is wrong. When men get to define whether what they are doing to us is right or wrong, there is no justice or objectivity. Male definitions also affect incidence (thus you can have a ‘rape free’ society if men define rape in the narrowest of terms, and you can have a society where men are raped equally frequently by women if men define rape as an equal-opportunity crime). Only men rape (sexual assault is different from rape), so only men benefit from rape. Men set up policy and laws to benefit themselves. Since only women are raped, women should be doing the defining.
We can only conclude that even in the most ‘advanced’ of countries, women are still owned by men. Men define crimes against men’s property, thus they define what is or isn’t a crime against a woman. While rape is a ‘crime’, it is very, very narrowly defined and under this definition is so very difficult to prove that the law is meaningless.
To those men who say that the West is female-dominated, no. No, it isn’t. That is your imagination and entitlement talking. A female-dominated society would mean no crime targeting women at all. We are far from that. Like light years away kind of far. This same issue that I am describing now was at the heart of first-wave Western feminists’ pursuit of suffrage. Sadly, getting the vote didn’t achieve what those women sought – power in defining and legally being able to do something about crimes against women.
During my first go-round in graduate school in the US, my closest friend was this brilliant, quirky, and tortured Dutchwoman. Through her and other Dutch I’ve encountered, I, the over-polite Canadian, came to appreciate their delicious bluntness. I’ve since found that they have a just-so way of putting things that hits the nail on the head without destroying your thumb.
I’ll always remember something my friend said that has since had great application in various situations. While she was speaking literally, her words provide a great metaphor.
We were talking about bathroom habits for some strange reason, and I think she was commenting on what she believed was the American tendency to spray perfume or some other artificial smell after doing one’s business in the bathroom. She said:
“I don’t know why people do this! I’d rather just smell your shit than a mixture of your perfume and your shit.”
The implication, of course, is that you can’t cover up reality. And to follow: why should we try? It doesn’t actually work.
I’ve found myself coming back to this simple, but brilliant, comment on the recent human tendency to put a positive spin on political/social/research conclusions and theory. And recently, I’ve been reminded of it in critiques of certain feminist conclusions about the state of things. Conclusions and theories are discarded with the sweep of a hand simply by calling them ‘pessimistic’ or ‘depressing’. It’s not even a valid argument. Something may well be depressing, but that is unrelated to its veracity. This kind of dismissiveness can show up when feminists rightly point out that men have behaved as vicious sons-of-rapists for millennia, and if they wanted to change, they very simply would. Dick supporters will start in with their “That is too pessimistic! Too depressing to contemplate!” spiel. They insist that men can and will change if we just reason with them. Show them the error of their ways. They just need our bottomless female understanding, coddling, and education. But smart feminists have pointed out that men already have been sucking our helpfulness dry for a long, long time. We’ve done all of the above and then some. To no avail. Men don’t want to change. And they never will change. And hell, yes, it is depressing. But it is true. The truth usually isn’t roses and puppy dog kisses. The truth is slavery and rape for women and girls, ad infinitum.
And there are other arguments/theories/conclusions about the state of things and the state of things to come that receive similar reactions. To be honest, it is much the way many women are treated when they try to talk about their experiences of rape and assault – their reality – people don’t want to hear it. It’s too depressing. Too… real? You can lose friendships, family ties, and partner-relationships if you try to talk about your depressing reality (been there a few times, myself).
Why can’t people handle truth? I think this is subject matter for a future post. I want to get into suicide and death and such. People absolutely hate those topics and I think they are very important. Not only does each person have to face reality eventually, but we are soaking in effects of the male death drive and all that implies from the day we’re born. Ignoring it gets us nowhere but a world of hurt.
I prefer the Dutch approach. I may not want to smell the shit, but I’d rather smell it than have my brain confused by the conflation of two incompatible scents. You can’t spray optimism on the toxic air of Patriarchy and expect to find a viable solution or ‘hope for the future’.
For some of us, it’s a process. It can be a lengthy process if you score high on empathy, have any kind of draw to the helping professions, and/or come from an abusive family (for females, not males) where you’re not allowed to stand up for yourself. I’m referring to shedding the dead weight known as men.
Dead weight is only a partially correct term. Yes, men give you a heavy load to drag around with you, draining your limited (and often low) energy. This energy will be redirected from the little self-care you allow yourself to listening to their endless whining, helping them with their endless problems, taking care of them, paying for them, cleaning up after them, etc. But they also fill you with lies and misinformation. They attack your limited self-confidence. They make you doubt yourself. They steal your ideas and creations. They stop your thoughts when you start to appear a little too independent or critical. They’ve got a dangerous arsenal at the ready.
And there is only one solution for that. Get the fuck away from them. Don’t tie yourself to them. Do serious vetting if you are considering being around one. Ideally, never deal with them, although that is next to impossible as this is NOT ALLOWED and besides, practically impossible given that there is unfortunately no female-only territory/country (never mind woman-space, these days).
So, for many, it is a process. I’ve been doing just that. It has been a long process. Very gradual, although more accelerated in the last year.
Except for one or two I haven’t managed to eject from my life and except for mandatory listening that is part of my job as an educator, I don’t willingly listen to them anymore – so much so, that find myself automatically tuning out when one speaks. I jokingly attribute it to age and my hearing, but of course, it’s just that I’m tired of feeling ‘vampired’ after interactions with their non-stop verbal dick-swinging and too-apparent mental deficiencies.
I also don’t bother joining any groups that aim to ‘change things for the better’ if men are involved at all. There is no such thing as an honest to goodness male activist. It doesn’t matter whether said dude is an environmentalist or an atheist fighting religion, the changes dudes look to effect are ones that maintain male dominance. Women don’t factor in as recipients of positive change. And male feminists, as I’ve said before (here and here), the scourge of activism – well, I truly don’t know what they are doing exactly. Soapboxing, perhaps. Men naturally gravitate to self-righteous pontification. But the majority of them spend way too much time telling women what to do or not do. Many of the white male feminists like to shit on white female feminists and accuse them of not only doing feminism wrong, but calling them racist or transphobic. It’s as if they take some kind of pleasure in finding someone else to blame for everything they’ve done on their own. It’s revolting.
And this leads into my latest shedding of dead weight. I forced myself to sort of suffer through the reading of ‘We Hunted the Mammoth’ posts for a while. When I first ran into the site, I thought “let’s see what happens here”. I much prefer men who purport to be fighting the fight (although, I can’t be bothered to go and check whether the author calls himself a male feminist) to keep their own blogs and to read, but not comment, on women’s blogs (for the reasons mentioned above). I was amused that he was taking on the Morons Rights Activists (seriously the dumbest, loudest and most violent men on the planet besides MtT dudes and both Christian and Muslim male fundamentalists). I think this is a job for men. But of course, because men truly don’t understand women’s issues, it is impossible for them to take down these assholes completely. I get the impression that WHTM sees the MRAs as a joke primarily, and he slaps them around like a cat does a mouse. And indeed, if you look at who comments on WHTM, it is mostly dudes who like swinging their dicks around, feeling superior as if they are doing something Important. There is no real talk of women’s rights or feminism. There is no willingness to get on board with or understand radical feminism. It is just an amusement to write about and comment on the latest ‘hijinks’.
I have been commenting occasionally. No one interacts with me, which is fine – that’s not what I went there for. For me, it was more like dropping a beautiful, perfectly-shaped, feminist turd in the middle of a circle jerk, and it gave me a little pleasure and satisfaction. A few people clicked over, likely to check out the bitch who dared comment on an anti-MRA site (remember, male feminists aren’t activating for women’s sake, but just to feel superior). But it didn’t take long to get bored. The writing is not interesting, and neither are the verbose commenters. The blog has no purpose other than poking fun, and if I want that, I read the comics. I’ve noticed other feminist blogs commenting that all the rad fems that initially stuck around that blog and tried commenting ended up leaving. Too much misogyny and dick-swinging – and no real purpose.
I feel much lighter for having shed this silly corner of the internet.
If you want to visit a blog that is much more effective and on point and with clear purpose in dealing with MRA bullshit, you must, of course turn to a woman (don’t you always?). Mancheeze takes things seriously. You won’t be disappointed.
Dogdammit, I just missed the International Pole Dancing Championships in Hong Kong this past week. I don’t live that far away. But while I admire physical strength in women very much, pole dancing holds a serious ick factor for me. I don’t see it as sport or art. I see it as porny and sleezy objectification of women to serve the male gaze. I’d have a hard time enjoying the performance on these grounds. I’d rather watch women playing soccer/football, frankly.
I remember visiting a good friend 8 years back and she mentioned she’d been helping out an ambitious local girl with the design of her new business web site. She seemed kind of proud – both of her web endeavours and of this fierce, young businesswoman. Cool. I like that. Sisterhood. Female networks. I had that long ago for a too-short spell. It is an awesome thing that should be fostered.
So then we got down to details. The business in question was pole dancing gear sales.
What? I had no idea what that meant. Well, I had an idea. There are enough scenes of strip clubs in shitty American, male-oriented tv, and I’d seen ‘True Lies’ before – another film where Jamie Lee Curtis is forced to humiliate herself sexually. There’s that scene where she pretends to be an under-cover hooker or something like that and tries and fails at performing a ‘pole dance’ on the bed post without realizing her husband is her customer. Hilarity for men at the expense of a woman. Good fucking times.
What I hadn’t realized, trapped in 100-hour-a-week work/research/study, was that the world had slid a little further down the poop shute (um, dance pole?) of male decadence. Unbeknownst to me, pole dancing had suddenly been transformed into an empowerful activity. Effective exercise! Not just for whores anymore, dontcha know. Wink wink. And then the lib-fems took it up much in the same way they enthusiastically brought back burlesque.
Every realization deflates the feminist lifeboat a little more.
I took a polite look at my friend’s web design efforts, and found myself faced with ‘clothes’ no woman should ever have to wear, and that men never have to wear unless they’re performing ladyface for a joke or as a Hallowe’en costume or because of mental illness.
And, like the beauty pageants that humiliate women globally, pole dancing has become an international ‘thing’. Competitions. Prizes.
And while pole dancing does require great strength and fearlessness (it takes some serious courage to spread your legs for the world and call it feminism), when you defend it as a positive thing for women, you’re living some serious denial. This is not FOR women.
If you want to trot out, “well, there are male pole dancers competing too.” I don’t care. Pole dancing is marketed to women (and now girls) primarily as the epitome of a powerful woman. Women must harness their Sexual Power! But it symbolizes something very different to women than it does to men. It serves as a further normalizer of stripping and prostitution, which is not work, but sexual slavery. Very simply, pole dancing The Sport! wouldn’t exist if girls and women weren’t subordinate to men worldwide and regularly trafficked and groomed into providing sexual services (rape opportunities) out of desperation and/or vulnerability. When we normalize practices that come out of this slavery, we desensitize people to its harm, and we make it harder for women and girls to escape falling into a life where they are degraded, abused and raped regularly. If, on an earwax cleaning mission, I stick a q-tip into my ear so far as to burst my eardrum, I don’t tell people that thank goodness my ear is clean and that everyone should do it.
Regarding the above mentioned international competition, well, congrats go to Finland. Something to own proudly.
I’m waiting for the day that blow jobs become an Olympic sport. I swear, it’s around the corner. And yet again I find myself mumbling under my breath: I am so glad I don’t have children.
I’m in China – it is Hallowe’en morn. For many of you, it is still October 30th or ‘Devil’s Night’ (at least that is what we called it in Canada when I was a kid) – the night bad kids will sneak out and tp or egg people’s houses. Until about the age of 30, it was my favourite festival of all the observable Western holidays. I like the night. I like costumes. And I like chocolate. I don’t participate in the traditions anymore, but now that I’ve gotten older, I’ve researched the history of the festival (which I won’t get into here), and it is truly fascinating. I have a deeper understanding of how it came about and has evolved over the centuries.
To my complete puzzlement, and to be honest, my disdain, China has begun taking on Western holidays. Let me clarify. They take on the marketing and capitalistic rewards of holidays such as Hallowe’en and Christmas, but none of the meaning. Some of the people put on this weird fake enthusiasm for them, but like much of Chinese enthusiasm, it is all surface. There is no understanding of the festivals and they definitely don’t give a shit about them on a deeper level. These holidays mean nothing to them. Why should they? Festivals are rooted in culture, religion, and history. I just wish they wouldn’t bother – it is deeply offensive.
Not that these holidays are well understood by Western people either, but for all of us, there is tradition and cultural meaning, both positive and negative, regardless of whether we are religious or not.
So the Hallowe’en decorations have gone up here in China, and in the department stores, I’ve noticed candy and costumes for sale. Here’s where things get curious for me.
I haven’t seen a single slutty/sexy costume anywhere. And it’s a fucking relief.
Apparently, the Chinese didn’t get the message. The basic purpose of Hallowe’en is to let women AND little girls release their inner whores for the titillation of men.
I’ve put together a little comparison of current Western costumes to illustrate my point. And if you’re wondering, all of these photos I found individually. They were not already paired as mini-slut and mommy-slut. The unplanned similarities in costumes and mannerisms are depressing and creepy in a Stepford-slut (terminology attribution: Gail Dines, I believe) kind of way.
When the fuck did this happen? I don’t remember this at all from my youth. Hallowe’en was just about fun and eating too much candy. Adults sometimes had their own Hallowe’en dress-up parties, but there were no ‘sexy anythings’ then. Girl children were NEVER trotted out as whores or ‘sexy anythings’ – except for the princess thing, which I’m proud to say, I never did. But now it’s harem girls, sexy cops, sexy nurses, sexy witches (used to just be wart-covered, scary witches), and even, gulp, French maids.
One significant thing. During my youth, more people made their own costumes. I have never worn a store-bought costume. My mother sewed everything, and then when I got older, I either sewed, but more often, crafted from various non-clothing and thrift-store clothing items, something interesting and very original.
But at some point, capitalism inserted its stiletto heel into Western culture’s brain, and it has been a slut-fest ever since. People say they are too busy or too unimaginative these days to spend time on costume creation and construction. I agree on the latter. Capitalism and porn have stripped (ahem) people of their ability to think of interesting things. It’s all sex, all the time. A woman must be sexy 24-7, and this includes when dressed up for Hallowe’en.
I seldom dress up for Hallowe’en anymore, but about five years ago, I did a year-long stint teaching high school in rural China. My colleague and I decided to have a Hallowe’en party, and we got excited about creating some simple costumes. I bought some thin, black electrical tape and black construction paper, and I luckily had a yellow shirt of my own and black pants, and voila! I became a bee. My colleague spent equally little – white tape and some construction paper, and became a zebra. They were great costumes.
I worry about the future of the West, and especially the safety and self-image of Western girls and women. Capitalism and its evil spawn, digital pornography, are damaging the culture, likely beyond repair. I think porn will lead (hell, we can see it already!) to the intellectual downfall of the United States, whose number one export is porn, and number one import is intelligent foreign students and labour.
As much as I dislike China, they have managed to keep porn out of the mainstream – it is illegal. More on this another time, but while I am anti-censorship, I am firmly against hate speech and pornography is, without question, hate speech. In China, unfortunately, women are seen as chattel in other ways, but (without touching on the shameful 1,000 years of foot binding) they are not yet being degraded the way Western women are. But, I fear that is only a matter of time. Until that time, there are no Chinese Hallowe’en sluts on offer.
I’m not sure why I bother. Watching documentaries, that is. Roughly 99.9% of English language documentaries are made by white dudes. Sometimes, they’re religious white dudes. Sometimes, they’re environmentalist, lefty white dudes. Sometimes, they’re libertarian white dudes. Sometimes, they’re partially lobotomized, incoherent nutjob white dudes. Most of them are middle class or come from those there parts – not rich enough to be truly devoid of cause. And not poor enough to be barred from funding even a low-budget documentary. Most of them have a basic college education – even the partially lobotomized ones, since we hand out college degrees like candy to white dudes with damaged brains.
But despite the deceptive variety in approach or ideology, the commonality is that they all belong to the class at the top of the human heap. And as such, they are blind to many things; they believe they have more of a right to speak than most; they believe they have a unique perspective than no one else has; they see themselves as leaders and ones best equipped to speak for all of us; and they tend to populate their documentaries with interview clips of their fellow white dudes as if there are no other people available to offer insight.
Most liberal white dudes are tuned in enough to make a documentary that pays lip service to problems of racism and classism – because these, of course, are classes that contain bepenised people – men can be of different colours and can be poor. And all men deserve attention, of course. But their oh-so-unique views of the world almost always miss one of the most important (if not THE most important) cause of why our world is the shithole that it is.
They either ignore or severely downplay the role of male domination – aka Patriarchy – in the destruction of the earth and the degradation of the human condition. They don’t acknowledge the fact that the only reason men have made poor economic models work in the short run is because they’ve built everything on the unpaid or lesser paid backs and uteri of women. You can’t have domination without slaves. And slaves have, for the most part, throughout history and continuing through to tomorrow, been women. But even when you have an unlimited slave supply (women), you can’t make a model of unlimited growth work (à la capitalism), or expect nonrenewable resources to magically become unlimited, or demand unlimited environmental imperviousness to deadly human assault.
It makes for a flawed and incomplete documentary. It has always made for bad science and theories in every field. When you don’t factor in Patriarchy as the primary cause and/or the primary environment, you aren’t telling the story correctly. It would be like trying to measure atmospheric gases, but failing to take into account that the planet being studied is Jupiter.
Men leave this key part – that Patriarchy is the root of most problems on Earth – of the puzzle out for a few reasons:
- Men like women to shoulder some to all of the burden when blame is to be laid and responsibility is to be taken for shitty circumstances.
- Conversely, men like to take credit for things (even when they didn’t contribute) only when it is a positive accomplishment (i.e., male expert dominance to be patted on the back in the awareness-raising documentary).
- Men don’t want to acknowledge that we’re in the shitter because of them, their violence, their greed, and their lust for power.
- They won’t find themselves an audience if they suggest that men fucked up and should take responsibility for the things they’ve done and should immediately relinquish their control and power structures. Men don’t like to be told that their millennia-long culture of dominance and rape is at the heart of most of the world’s current woes. Even a lot of Stockholm Syndrome-affected women won’t get on board with a documentary that says, “Look at what the men have done.”
I’m going to force myself to watch as much of this as I can. I’m into minute 23, and after way too much melodrama and wordiness, this generic, middle class, white dude, has finally laid out what he sees as the four main things that will lead to American downfall. I noticed that all four problems he listed result directly from Patriarchy, yet he doesn’t identify Patriarchy as the ultimate source. He referenced Derrick Jensen early on in the doc, and implied that he interviewed him, so I’d be a little disgusted, but not surprised, if he managed not to talk about Patriarchy in his ‘analysis’. Jensen has paid lip service to radical feminist theory, although I find him a little arrogant for my personal liking.
Two hours later:
I managed to get through two hours of, yes, mostly white dudes pontificating on the decline of the American Empire. And no, Patriarchy wasn’t mentioned even once. Dominance yes, but dominance was used to refer to class and race, as I predicted. There wasn’t a single mention of the oppression of women and how all empires have been built on that requirement. It was unsurprising, but still disappointing. Oh, and Jensen was indeed interviewed, and he arrogantly told us his favourite thing that HE ever said. Icky. Self-quoting… Well, white dudes. What do you expect?
I’ve noticed a few things about white dude documentaries. I’m not sure if there is a manual that they all read, but recurring elements creep me out.
White Dude documentaries must display the following:
- Lots of historic film footage of dudes doing something dudely or women doing something degrading or feminine. Preferably from the 1950’s or from some wartime period (if soldiers or concentration camp victims are needed)
- All or an overwhelming majority of those interviewed are white male experts (despite there being tons of non-white and/or non-male experts in any given field)
- Video clips that give a literal enactment of some metaphor used by an interviewee. For example, an expert begins talking about destroying the environment, and suddenly you have a clip of a wreaking ball.
- Quotes from noted misogynists, pedophiles and the like. (This particular film quoted Woody Allen who is both a misogynist and a pedophile.)
It’s hard to take a documentary seriously if it ignores really key elements. I’m not talking about entertaining and giving equal weight to fringe theories. I’m talking about allowing personal bias resulting from privilege to severely limit the explanation of the phenomenon you’re trying to cover. Feminism is not a fringe theory, and it is globally relevant. It needs to be included to provide an accurate picture of what is going on. It is also hard to take seriously any documentary that pulls testimony from a single group of privileged people (who all look like you) when the phenomenon is a) relevant to more groups than that small one, and b) there are plenty of representatives of many other groups to pull from as experts.
Nice try, white dude. He would have been better off giving his funding to a woman or minority and offering his services as ‘research support’. He would actually have been walking his talk then. But that’s just the thing. When a white dude talks about wanting to change the world, it’s just words. He doesn’t actually follow through on what he’s saying. It would have been really, really easy for him to make a positive change by enabling a traditionally less powerful, and often silenced, voice to deliver the message. When have men every stayed silent though?
*** Note: I’m not going to link to this film. It’s really not worth watching, nor do I offer a time-back guarantee when you demand those two hours of your life back. Anyhow, I wanted to comment on a phenomenon, not this particular documentary.
Before I launch into my spiel, I’ll say one thing so everyone knows I’m an equal opportunity blame doler when it comes to pointing out shitty male behaviour. No country or culture is off the hook. Of course, the majority of people often claim moral superiority for their own country or culture and spend a lot of time pointing out the faults of other countries and cultures. And of those others, those upon whom the most blame is heaped are generally women. Women are always to blame for the way misogyny manifests in their country or culture. It’s easy to blame the powerless for the misdeeds of the powerful. So, in short:
- every country and culture hates women,
- the hate manifests in different ways,
- people are generally unable to own the bullshit that happens in their own backyard, preferring to point fingers at other backyards, and
- women are forced to take responsibility for the shitty things men do in said backyards.
Okay, that out of the way, let me move on to what I wanted to talk about.
For a long time now, I’ve lived in a different backyard. It is one that no matter how long I stay in or assimilate into, I will never be allowed to belong to. Monoracial countries are like that. And this particular monoracial country is China. I teach university in China – undergrads, Masters and PhD students. China is a rough place to be in a lot of ways. It has a poor track record in the human rights department. The locals are abused, and foreign workers have severely limited rights and often must put up with very strange and abusive treatment (I’ll save for another post my experience being chained into my college staff building at night.) The people are very racist, xenophobic, traditional, and oh yeah, they hate women. But as mentioned above, they don’t really see any of this, and similar to Americans, most can’t figure out why the world hates them.
And so we get to Americans. China has a love-hate relationship with the US. Personally, I think it’s a ‘study your enemy’ type of thing. There are things they envy about the US (e.g., capitalism), there are things they absolutely hate (e.g., gun violence) and there is a shit-ton of stuff they don’t understand and have developed stereotypes and half-truths about. Even the highly educated believe that what they see in American film and television is true. It is very much like Western people believing that all Chinese know kung fu and play the cello.
One of the things that has become disturbingly and increasingly more popular as a question or topic of discussion among the undergraduates as well as the post-graduate students is what they see as the American obsession with sex. I often get asked why this is so. I also get woman-blaming questions that boil down to ‘Why are Western women such slutty whores???’ and a lot of the male students want to hug, kiss or touch me, because of course, white women are increasingly seen around the world as communal property that will pretty much fuck anyone. We WANT everyone to touch us. Thanks American television and misogyny and dangerous/misguided Third Wave Feminism. Please note that white men are not treated this way. And different racial groups are treated in different ways. You can’t take models that apply in the West and have them work in the same way in other places. And I absolutely don’t want to minimize shitty treatment of non-Chinese women of other races here in China. I am not qualified to talk about what these women experience. Anyhow, female ‘white privilege’ will be talked about in a different post.
I address the subject of Western entertainment carefully. I definitely want to talk about what is happening and make sure that people do some deep thinking about these very important issues. I also like to introduce radical feminism anywhere and everywhere I can. I do see tiny feminist stirrings in a few of the young women I teach. I like to nurture that kind of human rights thinking.
I begin by telling people that hatred of women exists in every country and culture – educated Chinese are beginning to acknowledge and feel shame over the fact that as a culture they have selectively and deliberately aborted female fetuses and killed baby girls – so they can kind of get what I’m saying.
But woman-hate manifests in different ways, I tell them. It is all based on sex. I tell them that in the US, there are some similarities. For example, as in China, Americans fetishize female ‘purity’. But in the US, while baby girls might not be left to die somewhere en masse, society is inundated with pornography. (Pornography is illegal in China – in the US it is fucking ‘free speech’ and ‘art’.) Boys are taught that women exist only for sex and that sex is owed to boys. Rape is sexy shit, and secretly, girls love it. Girls are taught that they must remain pure, but at the same time, they must be as fuckable as possible. It is confusing and dehumanizing. And what you see in mainstream media – news, TV, and film – is evidence of this fuckability mandate. The burgeoning porn and violent porn industry is becoming the number one American export. Something to be proud of.
Anyhow, I use simpler words, but I get this message across to my Chinese students. I want them to see the truth that unites what happens in their country with what happens in the US and everywhere else. That truth being ‘woman hate’.
I also challenge their ideas about television and film. Most of my students tell me that they learn about American culture (meaning ‘all Western culture’) from what they watch. Most can’t afford to travel, so they learn from whatever materials they can get their hands on. So most educated Chinese take what they see on TV and in movies literally. Everyone is rich and beautiful and fucking is the most important thing in life. So I ask them, “Do you believe everything you see in Chinese TV and film? Does everyone do Kung Fu in China like Jackie Chan (Chan Kong-sang)?” They say, “Of course not! That’s crazy!” Then I ask, “Then why would you believe everything you see in American TV and film? Just like Chinese media, it is just entertainment.” That stops them. They think about it. And they realize that TV and film are not educational materials.
I hate being put in a position where I have to defend American culture – especially as a non-American, and especially as a feminist. Some things, I’m happy to talk about. I did post-graduate education in the US and many of my most excellent human-rightsy, hippie friends are American. I have good memories of living there, and I love many things about being there. I’ll talk about volunteer work and hippies and human rights protests. These are positive things about the US. The entertainment world is NOT one of those things, however, and I think it’s only getting worse. Having seen and experienced the impact in developing countries of the mainstream shit that is churned out in the US, and having been at the receiving end of ‘white chicks are rapeable sluts’ in Western and developing countries (which I think is a very serious outcome of what is going on in popular culture), I worry. I worry a lot. And I truly hope these American ‘values’ are not adopted and promulgated elsewhere.
The only thing I can do is make sure dialogue occurs and try to get people to think on a deeper level about what misogyny is and the power it has to destroy all cultures.