“I’m a Visual Person”

How many times has a scrotum told you that he is ‘a visual person’?  If you are female and some dude in your life has told you that – sometimes in all seriousness, sometimes with a smirk – he is trying to tell you a truth about himself and his approach to dealing with women. In all likelihood, you are going to choose to ignore that truth all to preserve the illusion that this dude cares about you and about women. Denial is easier after all. The world becomes a different and much more difficult place for women who truly listen to men’s direct and indirect messages about their universal truth. That truth is that despite layers of subterfuge, all men hate women. And once you decide to acknowledge that truth, process it and live your life according to it, shit gets difficult. Better in some ways, but more difficult in others.

The sentence “I am a visual person” actually translates to “I am a pro-rape rapist.” When a male says: “I am a visual person,” it has nothing to do with any special abilities involving his eyes, optic nerve or occipital lobe. It is not ability at all that he is talking about. He is referring to his privilege over you and all women – the privilege having a penis brings him. The context in which said scrotum will issue this pronouncement of visual proclivity or prowess is always one that demands women be placed in a subordinate, rapeable, and consumable position. He uses the phrase to account for abusive behaviour towards you or another woman. He can’t help himself, you see. He is a visual person.

A male is a visual person if he:

  • is ogling another woman while you are talking, sitting or doing whatever with him,
  • is distracted by another female while you are telling him about something misogynistic you are experiencing,
  • sees pornography as an inalienable male right,
  • requires that you wear clothing deemed ‘sexy’,
  • can’t seem to have any kind of relations with you without visual aids that you don’t understand or feel comfortable with,
  • doesn’t believe his bodily movements and behaviour with regard to interacting with women are within his control,
  • can’t watch films unless they have female degradation in them, or
  • believes that women must wear make-up in all situations

There are tons of examples, but they are repetitive. Being a ‘visual person’ for men basically translates into:

I am male, so my behaviour isn’t within my control and I am wired to hurt women. Women are meant for sex, therefore, I can do and request whatever I want from women without it being a comment on my character. I should not be held responsible for anything I do to women. I need female subordination and degradation to exist. Expression of my sexuality requires that women be degraded. Any attack on my misogynistic behaviour is an attack on my manhood. Besides… women like it, and if you don’t like it, there is something wrong with YOU.

A rape mentality, in other words.

Now here’s the thing. I know all this for a very good reason because I am actually a bona fide visual person. So, I know what it really means to be a visual person. It means:

  • I love maps. I can read them easily. I am also really good at directions and recognizing landmarks. I can orient myself easily in a strange place and seldom get lost.
  • I love designs and models and have no problem visualizing intention from these.
  • I love colour. I associate different colours with emotions, flavours, etc. Colour tells a rich story for me.
  • Patterns catch my eye, and I can lose time enjoying their intricacies.
  • I often remember events through visual triggers. For example, I’ll remember something that happened 20 years ago first by what someone was wearing or what the sky looked like, rather than what day of the week it was or some other factual information.
  • I love all aspects of math that require visual presentations of information. Geometry and visual depictions of data through graphs and tables are all fields of math and mathematical visual aids with which I feel very comfortable
  • My spatial abilities are excellent. I am great at packing a car trunk, rearranging a room and imagining how a configuration will impact how something will work.
  • I have an excellent imagination and create pictures in my mind to do everything from solving problems to turning a design or pattern into the finished product in my head, etc.
  • I am better at recognizing faces than I am at remembering names.
  • I am really good at reading body language and facial expressions. Part of this is being the survivor of childhood abuse, but a lot of it comes from being visual and depending on visual cues to understand a situation.
  • I can look at a picture and easily create an entire story to explain what is going on. Photographs and paintings have a huge emotional impact on me. It also means that it is hard for me to watch violence because visuals are heavily loaded with emotion.
  • I’d rather look at a political cartoon then listen to a political joke.
  • I often need to see a word or sentence written down to fully understand what is being said or to discern an oral or grammatical problem.
  • I don’t need graphic sexual displays to get the point. As a visual person, subtlety goes a long way. I find that if one needs graphic displays in order to feel something, one probably isn’t a visual person at all.

And on the topic of ‘sex’ or sexuality, being visual is in no way connected with respectfulness or the way one treats another person. Demeaning another person and calling it ‘being visual’ makes no sense. It is simply a standard example of male illogic and a typical way in which men abuse women and call it something else to legitimize and sanitize it. It’s laughable that so many men say women are illogical. The pot calls the stainless steel kettle black.

Given that so many men are ‘visual people’, I’d like to know why most of them don’t gravitate towards careers in the visual arts or janitorial services, or why most men aren’t able to see that a space is filthy or unappealing. If one is oriented towards visual detail, you tend to have clean spaces and pay attention to how you present yourself. Most men couldn’t give a shit about colour or cleanliness or couldn’t comment on the layout of a room to save their lives. That is visual stuff, so you know you’re not dealing with ‘visual people’ when you’re talking to men. Most of these scrotes are just trying to get away with abuse and to tell you a fundamental truth about themselves and how they view you and women in general. And you’d do best to turn tail and escape the abuse that will inevitably follow as you get sucked further into his web of hurt.

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Posted on October 23, 2016, in Conversations with Men, Feminism, Love = Hate and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on “I’m a Visual Person”.

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