A Timeless Classic: The Best Rape Prevention Tips Out There

Years ago, Colleen Jameson came up with an appropriate response to the bullshit advice girls and women frequently receive on how not to get raped. Other versions have been done by others, including this example over at IBTP.

This advice is ALWAYS patronizing, instills guilt/shame/fear in the readers (especially after they follow the advice and STILL get raped), and even worse, heaps the responsibility for not getting raped onto the women themselves.

Women are 0% responsible for the violence men do to them. There is nothing that women can say or do that causes rape. Nothing. Nada. (Well, existing – that’ll do it.) Men, on the other hand, are 100% responsible. FOR THEIR OWN SHITTY, RAPEY BEHAVIOUR. It’s a no-brainer. Sex crimes comprise the only set of crimes in the world where the victim is routinely blamed and shamed for what has been done to her, and where frequently the perpetrator is  given the benefit of the doubt and absolved of all guilt. This can only happen in a system designed by and for those who routinely commit sex crimes. Sweet, huh?

I did my own little modifications on wording, plus I’m not tied to the idea of a top-10 list. Top-13 lists are fuckin’-A in my world. To some, the list may sound strange at first as a) it puts responsibility for rape squarely where it belongs: on men’s shoulders, and b) we have been conditioned for millennia to see women as moral gatekeepers in charge of behaviour that isn’t even our own.

Believe it or not, this list, unlike the ones that are routinely sent out to women, when followed to the letter, works 100% of the time. Forward to all your male (and female) friends.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work

  1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
  1. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
  1. If you pull over to help a woman with car problems, remember not to assault her.
  2. Never open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
  3. If you are in an elevator, don’t assault her. Don’t look at her. Don’t get in her personal space. Don’t make suggestive comments.
  4. If you find yourself in a laundry room where a woman is doing laundry alone, don’t assault her.
  5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not assault her.
  6. Don’t hang out in dark, lonely places – especially alleys or parking lots – and assault women who might pass through.
  7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting women, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
  8. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with a woman unless she is awake!
  9. Carry a rape whistle! If you are worried you might assault a women “by accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
  10. Always be honest with your female acquaintances and female strangers! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
  11. Also be honest with your date. If your policy is that if you pay for dinner/drinks/movie, you get to rape your date, let the woman know it ahead of time. Again, if you don’t communicate your intentions to assault her later, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
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Posted on July 23, 2015, in Male Privilege, Misogyny and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on A Timeless Classic: The Best Rape Prevention Tips Out There.

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